Double Edged Sword
by Kasan Soulblade
Summary: KratosxAnna fic please R&R. Kratos is a man of many facets, he is the betrayer, the savior, and in the end the origin of hope. This is the story of his one love and attempted flight from the evil he was bound to.
1. Tangled Shadows

Chapter 1

Tangled Shadows

Beauty and power so distant, so mortal hand could grasp it, no mortal mind could ever comprehend. Their eyes glistened, a thousand of thousands on the back of eternity. They must see everything, he mused, as his feet struck the dirt road and picked the safest path for the rest of him to follow. They must see everything, with so many eyes fixed on this world, they must see him on this night. Or they could be blind, so caught up in their own glamor, of the splendor of their lives that they saw nothing. How alike that would make them all. Regardless they served as light for him, for themselves, there purposes were only for him to guess and turn to his own purposes. As he turned all things to his purpose.

"What's so funny?" Anna snapped, she was winded and rather cross with him, but that was to be expected. Full with child, drained by that... that thing in her throat that sucked the very life from her heart, her soul... She'd have to have been a saint to act otherwise, and he knew from very personal experience that Anna was no saint, no angle. And unlike all the other foolish men of his specie he found no fault in her faults, they were a strange comfort to him. A promise of sorts.

"The sky, what else would cause me any humor?"

"If you like it so much why don't you marry it?" He laughed at such a juvenile taunt, just as she expected him to. "Seriously Riuan, there are times I think your more attached to the heavens then to me." The pain in her voice was genuine, and despite the danger that was slowly creeping up on them he stopped. Because she could not wade through the moonless night safely she was forced to stop as well.

"Don't be jealous Love, the sky and I are just old friends, that's all."

"Isn't that supposed to be the 'sky and me'?"

He only took both her hands and lead her further up the rocky trail. In the darkness she smiled, and though she could not see it a rare smile found it's way on his sun tanned face. Again they forgot the danger, and were the youngest of things, walking together in the dark. An old custom from the man who called himself Riuan's village was that a man and woman went to walk at night to propose, a futile gesture really, for the second they'd laid eyes on each other they knew what they were. It was forever unspoken of course, Anna's lover had many enemies and a few so called "friends". To those people who called this man friend, companion, a whole hearted man was not in their intrest. Anna was to have been dealt with. After all it was in Riuan's "best interest" that he not attach himself to anyone, not with his curse. Well to Ruian, he called it a divine blessing, but to Anna it was a curse, and that of the darkest breed.

Lights ran across the rocks far below them, they were looking for a woman who could not run, a wounded woman, they also were looking on the western side of the rocky hill. Anna giggled and Aurian snapped his hand over her face. He leaned in close, and his voice was little more then a breath against her ear.  
"They may be blind but they have dogs, they haven't sent them out. I imagine there were some difficulty getting them to participate in this hunt."

Ana nearly choked on her laughter. Oh they would hunt, they'd run to the south, away from the Ranch and from the hill they were climbing. Using that she dog and placing her near the southern edge of the camp had been genius. It had been his idea after all, but she'd completed it. She'd suggested taking the two Hunters out on walks to keep them in shape, and she always took a southern route, and when they smelled that dog she'd freed them. They'd gotten used to that, very used to that, and who ever was guiding them had better work his arm free of the leash, or that person would be short a limb. As he pulled back his hand she kissed his palm, and her lover tousled her hair.

"I would not grieve an eternity spent in your company, doing the most simple of things. I would not grieve the loss of so called adventure, I would not grieve all riches I would never see because of that simple life. For I would have them all, I would have more, every time I looked in your eyes."

"And how long have you been thinking that line up Ruian?"

"Since the moment I saw you." He shrugged, or rather she thought he shrugged. In the darkness it was so hard to tell. "You know how bad I am at this."

Yes how she knew, and knew what all of that simple word truly compiled.

"They'll be lead astray for a while, but you'll have to keep going." Perhaps sensing her fear he smiled, and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry it's easy to go down, smooth as- well let's say it's smooth and leave it at that."

"I don't think I want to know what you were going to say. I'd probably be something nasty about women." 

"Not against women in particular, I was only going to admire a certain part of female anat-" A rock smacked into his armor, thrown by the woman he had first hated then grown to love. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, and though he was certain she couldn't see the gesture she could sense his darkening mood. "You better get going, I think I hear them coming."

No need to ask who them were, she knew, he knew, and that's all that mattered. Then with a whimper she reached out towards him for one final embrace, she held onto him, pressed herself against him, and found his lips in what for her was impenetrable darkness. The man who called himself Ruian pulled back first, for the first time in several years he felt the wind forced from his lungs. Then she pulled away from him, held his hands in her own for a breath. Then with a fearful glance over his shoulder, down to where 'they' milled about, their lights getting ever closer, she left. Anna ran like a frightened rabbit, scrambling away from wolves of this world, of so many worlds, all of them baying at her heels. For the longest moment he stared at his hands, forced himself not to watch as she made her way through the darkness that no human's eyes could pierce. If she fell and he saw he would go to her, for he could not help himself. Now that no one could see him he wiped his left hand on his pant leg, tried to wipe away the chill of the parasite's phantom touch that was so cold it made his hand ache. His right though, he savored the ghost of her pulse. What faint scent of her was in the air, was torture to him. The empty night seemed to rush in and drown out the sound of her voice from his mind, everything conspired against him, threatened to rip her from his mind...

"No, not this time, never this one, not the one who bears my child." And for once the numbing shields he had built over so long pulled away, they allowed him to recall with great detail all his memories of her. They stopped trying to erase Anna from his mind. And for the first time in a century he knew pain, knew that death would claim her and he'd not age a day, knew that his son would grow old in his arms and die. And for the first time in nearly a century he wept, and ths stars, oh so beautiful and so distant paid his bitter tears no heed.

Boots ground into the earth, spurned the earth, as each step seemed more eager to destroy it then the last. Such steps ground into the earth so close to him that his eyes fluttered open. He had fallen asleep, had fallen asleep when he was supposed to be doing so many other things! Cursing himself he found his knees, a boot slammed down onto his back, it wasn't hard enough to hurt, but it did make him lose his hand hold on the gravel and slowly slide down to the ground. 

"Well, well, well, what do we have here, a run away?" There was the creek of leather, the slight sigh as it was forced to unwind and drop closer and closer to the ground, at last followed by a dull thump. "Know how we punish little worms like you?" 

Had he been in a beter position, one where he wouldn't be eating gravel if he opened his mouth, he'd had said something. Without any warning he rolled to the side, and the Desian lost his balance. With a cry he slid down the hill, started a small avalange, and quite helpfully erased a great deal the tracks that he and Ana had made on their climb up. Desperation made the whip wielder lash out, and by some fluke of luck his whip wrapped around a decent sized rock. Slow, with grace, he picked his way down the hill to the Desian's side, or rather to the rock his whip was wrapped around. 

"Please, help!" The half elf cried out, with his metal helm off he looked shockingly human. There were only the smallest of points on his ears. But pasted that, the difference was so small it made Ruian shake his head in disgust. "look, my companions' are a way's off, they wont hear or see anything. If I let you go they'll never hear about it, and so will no one in the Ranch..." The whip unwound a little and the Desian squealed, the sound was a great deal like the sound a pig makes right after it enters a slaughter house. "For the love of Martel, help me, please!"

"Love?" The man snorted. "A sadist such as you can't understand love save what perverse pleasure he gets off causing others' suffering." He drew out his long sword, an obviously magical weapon that glowed with holy writ, and was infused with the essence of mana. Fire licked the edges of the weapon, it was as if the sword had just been pulled out of the forge. "A monster such as yourself would never understand the write of Martel, nor the truth of Martel, even if I bothered to explain it in the most simple terms found in your sad excuse of a language. Martel is mercy, Martel is love, Martel is sacrifice, so in the writ of Martel I will answer your pleas." The Desian's face lit up in hope, the next words the man spoke made the whip wielder's face pale. "I will admit Martel would put me to task about the way I apply her teachings, but I imagine she'll forgive me in this case. Love, your love is that of another's death, of another's pain. So responding to this love of yours I sacrifice my time to remedy your sick mind, to cure it the only way I can." With a gesture, so light it seemed little more then a shrug and half hearted swing, the man tossed his blade from his right hand, to his left, and slashed not at the whip but at the stone. There was a hiss, then molten rock dripped onto the whip and began to burn it's way through the whip that had drunk so many's blood. "My mercy is that of Martel's, and that good half-elf can only be found when the eyes of this world are forever closed." The half elf managed one loud scream before falling to the earth, and while the fall shouldn't have killed him the multitude of glass and jagged rocks did what gravity could not. 

A half hour or so later a small Desian patrol spotted him. He had moved a bit, so they could see him better. As one of the archers lifted a crossbow to shot, his companion smacked him so that the archers helmet slid over his eyes. Insulted, the archer kicked his assailant's staff sharply and both half elven men slid down the trail, rising dust and rocks as they fell. Their leader, a scar faced man in black leggings and tunic, paid the infighting no heed. He just kept coming up, a smaller archer came up with him.

"High lord Aurion," The archer bowed low, after speaking his greeting in elvish. The whip welding leader only snorted and stood some distance away, hand caressing the leather grip of his weapon. "A scout, went missing and there was a riot in the human processing facility... We've been looking for you for hours."

"Thanks to you I'd say we lost five of the human's we've been cultivating." The whipper snarled, "damned waste of gald, considering they're worth a hundred a piece."

Aurion shrugged, and the Desian whipper snarled.

"When Ranch-Master Forcystus gets back it'll be your head on a stake. Not that I care." The Desian spat in Aurion's general direction, if the gesture was intended to connect it failed, struck only the base of the rock he was standing on. the younger Desian went pale, gripped his bow, and looked ready to run. Smart man, or rather boy, that half elf couldn't be a day over sixteen. As the Desian grumbled some more about the price Aurion's fingers tapped the hilt of his blade as he weighed the loss of another patrole against his credibility. Finding the figure much to his liking he smiled at the Desian leader, it was a gesture that was all teeth and no warmth.

"I am well aware of the riots, I thought that such well trained beings could deal with the situation. As it is I am officially on leave, and I left express orders that I was not to be disturbed. It's only luck that you found me, since I was investigating a death not too far from here and have almost caught up with the victim's assailant."

"If you're so damned busy why in Martel's name you waiting for us to get up here."

"Last I knew underlings did not question their Master's orders or there Master's reasons."

"I'll burn in Hell before I call one of you pathetic inferior beings master!"

"One more word out of your mouth and you will be sent to Hell by way of my sword, and I promise I wont make your death clean, or quick. Since you're available I'm going to make use of your troop, Commander, or should I say Sargent Mysiun." The whipper, Mysiun, stood for a long moment, then opened his molth, before half a word got out Aurion drew his flaming sword. The Desian whimpered, then drew his own weapon. It wasn't really even a fight, Aurion side-stepped the Desian's wild swing, stepped over the young archer, and thrust with his long sword. Aurion's weapon slammed it into the Desian's chain mail, went through the well made armor, then stopped halfway through the man's ribs. Aurion held back the full force of the thrust, then as his opponent fell to the sandy earth wailing the human withdrew his blade. A sharp kick and he could hear the Mysiun's rib cage break, well most of his ribs in the rib cage were broke, Aurion would not give himself credit for something he wasn't certain of. The Desian wailed, clutched at his chest, and with mad hands ripped off his tunic, the damage was quite visible, to several small shards of white poked out from the black and blue mass that had once been a Mysuin's chest. Red liquid, blood, dripped around the cuts, and with wondering hands the half elf felt at each little piece of white. "You spoke." Was all Aurion said to the wheezing half elf, then he stepped over the dying man's body. He turned when he realized that he was not being followed. "Come, there's some lifting to be done and I'm as certain as Hell not going to do it myself."

With a slight nod of his head the young Desian stepped over the soon to be corpse. He did not look down at the dying creature, for the once Sargent now foamed and grasped at nothing that neither man could see, and it was said that insanity could be handed down from one man to another when he looked at the face of a dying insane man. As they walked the eyes of eternity closed, eternity once dark turned light. And in the light of the coming day the dead would look pitiful to anyone with a companionate heart, to Aurion, who's heart was turning to that of a human's they were carrion. Desian's, he had long ago lost any respect for them for they were blinded by hate, yet it was their hate that he and his allies had to chanal, to rid the world of an even greater evil.


	2. Skimrish with consequence

Skimrish with consequence...

Chapter 2

"So this is where host body AP-604-93 is?" An archer muttered, his wizard companion looked at the miniature valley with a bored expression on his face, he still did not understand why he had been dragged out here in what he thought of as the wilds. Aurion could have told him that the world was a Hell of a lot un-tamer five miles away from the Desian camp, but he doubted the wizard would listen. "Funny place for a woman assassin to be hiding."

"She wasn't an assassin, she only shoved that solider off a cliff, if he had been more aware of what was going on rather then drunk out of his mind then you wouldn't be having to do another clean up after this."

These soldiers showed more wisdom then the others he had to deal with, they at least remained quiet. Ropes were tossed down, and the two archers and Aurion climbed down. A rope was offered to the wizard, who turned his nose up to such a mundane method of travel. With no explanation the black garbed warlock walked off the cliff with a few muttered words. As the wizard descended a freak breeze kicked up, and the man was slammed into the rock wall. He hung in the air for a moment, frantically grabbing at the wall, but then dropped to the earth, his spell broken. Any humor that the men could have drawn from the scene was banished by the all pervasive smell of rotting human that wafted up from the valley's floor. When they descended the first sight that greeted them was the dead woman. Her face was partially burned off, her body which should have begun to bloat as was the way of most carrion, was flat. Holes, made by scavengers, riddled the woman's body, a massive gash in her mid section was the work of a wolf that had been by. A wolf that Kratos had spooked of with his fire spell when he prepped the scene earlier. The woman's face and arm which held her code number, were seared off with his own spell. And if any thought to accuse him, and could link him to this place, he would claim it was a miss-fire. A few feet away the wizard was rubbing his behind, seeing Aurion's glare on him he stopped and returned the favor. It wasn't all out disrespect, there was little grounds to justify another murder, so he let it slide.

The younger of the archers took one look at the woman, went green, then bolted. As the elder archer called out, and made move to follow, Aurion ordered him to stay. They would tend to this, burn what pieces the wolf had left, at least that's what he planed. Much to his disgust the wizard picked up what was clothing and riffled through the pockets. He drew out a exsphere and a small wooden ring, and his thorough looting made Aurion grateful that he'd taken the pains to plant those items on the woman.

"Look here boys, looks like we don't owe all that money after all, one hundred gald off the bill!" The Archer smiled and Aurion fought to keep his face expressionless. He had nothing against looting, nothing against hatred, and nothing against murder, but the shear disrespect that the Desian gave to the fallen, even pausing to spit in her half melted face, made something in Aurion stir. Anger, and that of a dangerous breed for it was attached to the morals that he dared not exercise. He tried to draw comfort in the promises that had been made, tried and failed. The sense of anger lingered much like the stench of death would cling to him for hours after he was gone from this place. "Shame she's not alive, we could have had some sport of her before she died." At that comment Aurion's hand gripped the hilt of his weapon, his hand went white and he began to loose feeling in his fingers as more barbs and jokes of the lustier type were being made over the dead woman. If it had been Anna that they spoke of he'd have drawn his blade, killed them all. It wasn't Ana though, it wasn't his love, that allowed him to release his sword, that alone kept him from spilling more half elven blood.

"If your done lusting after this carrion may we leave?" Aurion snarled, their comments made his sick. How anyone could even think of love making while the stench of rot and wolf piss was so thick in the air was a mystery to him. But then maybe it wasn't love making to them, maybe rape was another outlet of their rage, their blind rage that consumed them. It was at times like this he knew that Mithos was a damned fool, that hate fed into hate until nothing else remained but ash coated earth. "Or would you rather have orgasm over a dead thing that doesn't even have all it's innards?" Indeed the corpse wore it's insides like clothing, at least if one thought in the poetic mind set she did. The wolves had been startled at his appearance, and smelling the fire that he wielded they had fled, dropping half eaten intestine from their mouths and bolting to the winds. Shrugging the Desian's walked around the body, then after a brief conference in elvish decided burning the woman was the best course. When the first words of the fire spell were uttered Aurion walked away, and though he did not watch he could see in his minds eye, first highlighted by the fire, then embraced, and at last consumed, the once living woman would be little more then ashes. He walked as far as the chasm would allow, his back to the Desians, his hand clenching his sword. Feet crunched gravel behind him, and a timid voice spoke to him.

"My lord, the task is done."

"Good, take yourselves back to the Ranch and remain there. Quell the rest of the rebels, don't murder them, we need those exspheres." He forced his hand to release the hilt of his long sword. "Torture them as much as you deem appropriate, I'll be back in a few days..." Their was a screech, a mecanical one, and though he didn't turn around he could imagine how the Desians must have started. Their was the sound of fumbling, of something being pulled from someone's belt, and a small click, that told him a button was being pressed.

"Hello, this is scouting unit green reporting full destruction of escapee's corpse and exsphere harvesting completion. Yes, Sir, noted Sir." There was another click and the device was put back on the solider's belt. "We have received a transmition from Lord Yggdrasil, any parties who have encountered Sir Aurion are to escort him back to the Ranch, Lord Yggdrasil wishes to speak to Sir Aurion immediately." A hand fell on his shoulder, it took all of Aurion's effort not to jump. "Sir, with all due respect we don't dare countermand that order. If you try to flee we have ben ordered to shoot, not to kill but to cripple, but accidents do happen."

"I understand," Aurion had been expecting this, had been expecting this ever since he had reported the failures in the mana reactors.

"We need to take your sword Sir..." Aurion tossed the archer his blade. A crossbow was pressed against his back and he was searched. Knives were pulled from each of his boots, an enchanted ring was taken from his left hand, and a spell of placed on him to keep him from manipulating his mana into a spell. They at least allowed him to walk on his own, they didn't truss him up like wild game and carry him back to the ranch. He passed through the yard in which the other human's did meaningless heavy labor, a friend of Anna's dared to look up at him as he passed. The whipper who was overseeing the tasks snarled, drew his weapon, and gave her a blow that knocked her down to her knees. Human suffering was part of the scent of the yard, and it was with a mix of relief and guilt when his captor's took him into the steal sheathed interior of the Ranch.

"Damn shame, she's a good looking wench." The elder archer grumbled once they were safely in the building. "She wont be good lookin' after Kein is done with her."

"Kein?" Kratos ' response made his guard hop, obviously he wasn't' supposed to talk. Had he been anyone else he could have expected a beating. As it was his captors didn't know what to do with him. He was above thier rank, they had all heard of him talking to Lord Yggdrasil before this and comming back alive. So they were hesitant to dole out any punishment.

"Kein, head desipleanary officer, came in after the last one got executed for going to far in a lesson , he killed too many of them, made us exeed the quota and we almost had a war on our hands with Iselia."

"Stuborn little bastards I'd love to..." the wizard began to grumble.

"Hey, shut up Aiuk. We'd all love too, and we can't, so shut the Hell up before you stirr up the youngling and he goes on a vulking human hunt!"

The youngest of his captors looked like he was regreting his decision in joining the Desians, and that a human hunt was the farthest thing from his mind.

Aurion was escorted to the lavish throne room of the absent Ranch-Master Forcystus, and a sword was placed to his throat. Getting the hint Aurion knelt to the pale blue disk, and the elder archer left the group to press a button at the devices' base. There was a flash of light, and the image of a blond haired man in his late twenties appeared before them. Their was a hint of translucency about the white robed man, and a hint of other-worldlyness that had nothing to do with the multi colored wings that ran the length of his back.

"I want a very detailed explaination for you failure Kratos." Though the voice was soft, with a hint of static to it, there was no mistaking the regal arogence that defined the man before him. Absent was the gesture of the hand that pulled the rouge strand golden blond hair out of those crystal blue eyes.

"All this was to serve you Lord Yggdrazil, as was it to amend the errors of Forcystus." Kratos unlike all the isuperior/i beings, was looking his comander in the eyes, and not studying the red carpet floor. "Forcystus was stupid enough to tell some of the humans of what he was to become, and he told them of the process. My actions forced the rebelious humans to act, the ones with spirit, and now that they are gone we no longer need to fear a deadly informaion leak."

"Your methods do not please me Kratos, you should have a the very least infomed me to why you were going to make these riots ocur. Forystus will be punished for his lapse, as to yours..."

"You knew the moment we met that my methods were not open to discussion. Not you, not even your sister, have the right to question me for my methods. You of all people have lost the right to protest over such a small deception." To this Mithos flinched, as Kratos knew he would. There was a long pause where Mithos struggled to contain his anger and frustration. All because he knew Kratos was right, and part of Mithos' deal with Kratos had been that he was to have a free leash when dealing with a situation. Kratos was no man's slave, and if that ever changed Mithos' life would turn to pure Hell. For Kratos held in him the key to ruin all his millennia's of scheming.

"You've certainly gotten bold, part of me wonders why this is..." Mithos stared off into space then shook his head. "It doesn't matter, your actions reaped us much, so I will let it slide for now. But Kratos..."

He expected the human to reply and Kratos humored him. "Yes?"

"If you ever do something like this again, ever, you will be punished. And that punishment will not be lite."

"Understood my Lord."

There was a tense moment where Mithos stared at him, as if trying to see some threat in that mild sounding reply, some hidden sarcasm. Then the image flicker like a candle flame exposed to a harsh wind, then it went out. His captors took a few steps back, and eyed him wearily, they all expected to die for their actions. The next words out of Kratos' mouth must have surprised them then.

"You boy, fech what was taken from me, wizard you are being transferred to a different ranch, now leave and clear it with your guild, and you..." His eyes slid on the whipper, the man swallowed. "execute Kein, then take his place." The elder archer looked helplessly at the door then finally left after Kratos ordered him to do so. He didn't care what the Desian did, so long as it was not here in his presence. Alone, he cut the power to the communication disk to be absolutely sure, Kratos wiped the sweat from his brow. Since all he could do now was pray, he did so in his heart, he prayed that Anna had gotten far away from here.


	3. Heaven's Gate

Chapter 3

Heaven's Gate

It was a relief to leave so soon after. A relief to no longer see the accusing hateful eyes. To the human's of Iselia, the abandoned remnants of a military, he was a traitor... To the citizens of Iselia that had been captured he was a monster. And of both thoughts he was of that of the worst ilk, for he had been one of them. He had been a soldier among them, unapproachable, sarcastic yes, but at least he had fought for the innocent and protected the weak. In truth he was a seed of treason planted by Mithos, a seed that had harvested much information. How would those who so hated him realize that the man who ruled over them in his steed was the man that founded there churches. The soldier's screams to Martel, to the Goddess, all a sham, and that the man who filled in for Kratos and Forcystus as head of the ranch, was the one who made it all. One knife thrust, one drop of poison in the right cup, and not only would the world be healed but all those lives saved and so many more avenged. Of course that was if one could ever catch Mithos eating, could ever catch him in a moment when his guard came down. It was a futile wait, but those men so desperate would try if only they knew. They'd be worse then him if they didn't try. A sigh fell from his lips, his feet walking through the hours old battle field as sure stepped as if it was not slicked with blood.

The battle had been short, ugly, and quick. The casualties had been many on the human side, for the enemy killed themselves rather then be taken. In that they were wise, wiser then he perhaps. Blood dripping from his blade, Kratos absently wiped his sword on an already bloody patch of grass. A glance around the nightmarish scene, of scorched bodies and internal organs spread at the feet of at least half their foes, made him sigh. Couldn't they have found a different way to kill themselves, a more clean way? He looked around the grassy field, the destruction had been so great that had a child come here he would have thought the grass of the world to be red. He should have felt more for these people, he was one of them, or rather had been. All he felt was annoyance, he had been walking back and forth looting from the dead, looking for a damned patch of clean flora to clean his blade on for an hour. At last, satisfied from the catch of money, two hundred gald in all, he left the field, his feet walking a bloody path to the village.

As he walked on the dusty roads, and passed through the decimated Iselia, there was no one about. All the woman had been spared, all the men save the soon to be elected Mayor and a very few others were alive. Alive, and hiding in their homes, which had been left untouched. It was not mercy that the woman and children were spared, not compassion. Need and desperation must strike this town, and so cause for need and despiration had been made. From the severe lack of able bodied men their would breed no new military, from the lack of men there would be few children to be born, with the Desians less then five miles away there was no more desperate situation for an independent town like Iselia. The non-aggression treaty would be offered to the defeated people, and the old and weary left overs from the conflict would bury their sons in a grave and forget. Or they would pray to the last days that they would be allowed that honor by their goddess.

There had been no house burning, much to the Desian soldiers anger, no raping, no looting, alowed. Killing, they had there fill of that in the field, in the Ranch, and those orders had caused a great deal of tension between Cruxis and the Desians. A break, no, but tension yes. Once superior in man power the Desians could have ripped the weak Cruxis to shreds with a snap of their fingers, granted a thousand years had passed since that time, but the memory of that time was still in the half elven people. And so they had dared protested. Every superior officer of that Ranch who so much had whispered their anger during the announcement was found dead, their faces marked with such grief and agony that no one else dared protest. Kratos had appointed new officers, given Mithos command of the Ranch, and left.

His name to both Desian and Human had been death, his face so calm and reasoning when the bodies had ben presented to him. It was so much so that is what they called him Dieris Fa-sith, Angel of Death. In there ignorance, those words were humorous, but after the recent scare with Forcystus what humor he might have shared with his allies was slim. So he kept that humor to himself and walked away from the Ranch. As the burden of command left him, so too did the eyes. He was free to do what he wished...

Honesty made him admit that he wasn't free, but for a handful of years at least he could be overlooked. He traveled as he always did, a sword of steel on his back, two daggers in his boots, a weary eye to his back and to the world around him. Unlike most other times he carried some rations on his person, enough for one person to be well off for a two weeks. He walked the roads or a while, then when her path broke away he followed her trail. Followed and found her in less then a days travel. He was impressed, not surprised, but impressed. She had picked a place he would have, a river bank was her camp, a tent had been pitched a safe distance from the water. Not out in the open, discreet, and in this river choked section of Slyverant she was all but invisible.

For a long time he stood, hidden in the forest shadows by his black tunic and pants. As was his habit, Kratos drew his cloak around him, and as was it's habit the wind picked up when he did so. Sunlight fell around him, deepened the shadows in which he stood. It gleamed off of the steal hilt of his weapon, flickered as a star would, and Anna who had been bathing in the water looked towards him. He strolled out of the darkness, wove through the trees, and at the foot of the sandy beach looked down at her. His heart though quaked with every step, now he would know the truth. He had done much, had lied and murdered to get to this point, she knew he had, he had told her from the beginning what this would cost.

And the price to others spoke nothing of what he had done to her. He had raped her in an attempt to rip her soul from her body, to break her so utterly she would never defy him again. He had forced her purity from her, only to learn that this had happened to her before. The Desian's had done this to all the woman captives already, what he had dubbed force had been gentle to her. In her arms, his attempt to force her had failed. He had come in with the idea of breaking her like one would break a horse. She had in turn broken him, had turn what he mean to be a violation to ecstacy for both of them. He then had begun to come to her for pleasure, something that she who had so little of didn't bother to deny him, for it was a strange pleasure for them both. She then denied him that pleasure, and he had lashed out with blows. The pain in her eyes, it haunted him, tormented him. In guilt he began to treat her better. He fed her well, and having found pleasure in her voice allowed her to sing from time to time. He treated her much like he would a dog, giving her small treats for good behavior, small pleasures that none of her kin had. She in turn had become somewhat tractable, reined her tongue in from time to time, and that was their relationship for a few months.

She endured his ill humors, his depressions, his somber posing, and then finally informed him one day that she was not his god damned pet. The raw fire in her eyes had taken him a back, made him reach for a sword he had not been wearing. She then had served herself and Noishe then sat across from him, awaiting his response. Had it been any other he would have killed them with his own bear hands. She though, with her endless chatter and curiosity, with her joy, her love, she he found himself unable to kill. That's when it all went to Hell.

He had moved to, he didn't know, his soul had been a conflict of response that he didn't know what he would have done. Noishe decided the matter for him, and bit Mithos' second in command on the ass. How she had laughed at him! And despite his pain he found himself laughing as well. Noishe loosed his hold and barked at his feet, and that was when he knew. She, being the smarter of the two of them, had known since the first night. That night and there after had been the closest he would ever get to Heaven, and now that she was free it was her right to deny him. With a word or an action he would leave, he had promised to find her after, to give her some nessecities to ease her on whatever path she chose. A path that could very well be separate then his own. And if she did, though it made his soul bleed, he would protect her and support her in every way she would allow.

In all rights she should hate him, he hated himself fo all the misery he had caused her.

"Enjoying the view are you?" Anna stood on the beach, her delicate feet sunk into the soft sands. The scars on her arm, on her back, she wore them with honor. Each small pain had been a triumph for her, each breath a contest won against death. Water dripping from her breast seemed to shine as it caught the sunlight... He coughed, adverted his gaze. She only laughed at him and a familiar barking told him she was not laughing at him alone.

"Shut up Noishe!"

"Oh hush Kratos, he's only happy to see you." The rustling of clothing made him sigh in relief. Anna sometimes tended to be a little too direct for his comfort. "Aren't you Noishe! Yes you are, happy to see Kratos again aren't we?" 

"We?" He still was focusing on the lake, Anna had the habit of stopping half way through something and going to something else more interesting. It was one of her few rude habits that humored him.

"Yes we, the catching here has been poor, and the last time I ate was... well last evening."

"Ah, I see." He reached for his packs, his hand gripped the foodstuff that he would drop and then he would walk away from her. Never to return. A hand closed over his, and he found himself looking into her eyes.

"You once told me that to look into someone else's eyes was to look into their soul. Can you see my soul Kratos, I can see yours." He adverted his eyes, but her hand, neither warm nor cold to his touch held his. "You feel bad, you're brooding. Again." The smile on her face made his lips curl just the slightest bit in response. "I also know that you think I'm going to leave you. That I'd just walk away after all that we've gone through together. I'm going to be blunt, like always, and you Kratos are going to look me in the eyes while I'm being blunt!" Guiltily he snapped his eyes on hers, the warmth in them let him frozen. Should the warmth of admiration turn to icy hate he could not spare himself, he could not look away. "I love you Kratos, I bear your child but that love has nothing to do with the child. I love you as a..." She flushed. "Well as a woman loves a man..." Her free hand slid across his back and he felt his wings slice their way through his back. Tinged with a trace of his life's blood they came into being, he gasped as the slight pain passed. She smiled, ignored the droplets of blood and stroked his wings with trembling fingers. "I'm just lucky, my man comes with wings, doesn't snore, and I don't have to feed him."

"You make me sound like a dog." He growled in false anger, she only smiled, continued to pet his wings for the longest of times.

"Good, then we're even."

"Vicious and vindictive, I have excellent tastes in woman." He mock grumbled.

"I don't know about your taste, but for mine..." She kissed him long enough to make him long for her but it was over swift enough that he was not consumed by his passion. "hmm a little too salty..." She laughed and pulled away from him. "You should smile more often beloved, it suits you." He flushed like a child at her word, a tide of protest rose in his throat. Her eyes, it all died when he looked into her eyes. "Come on!" She was all enthusiasm and smiles. And the smile on his face didn't wish to go anywhere. "I made a campsite all by myself, and I'm dying for your overly critical- I mean insightful review."


	4. Silver Mists

Chapter 4

Silver Mists

It was a sea of sand, a sea with it's waves forever frozen in mid motion. In many ways it shamed the seas he had seen as a child, but then no wave of the ocean stood still for so long. Time slowed for him, slowed to a blissful crawl in this land of stillness, where the night breezes would trail silver sand from the false mountains around him. They were the ghosts of the world, the true ghosts who's silken scarfs fell behind them and turned to silver in the moon light. From time to time he could see a figure in the sands, a faintly human shape with it's hands extended to the heavens as if to plead for mercy. Or to cry soundlessly in help. It took all of his persuading to keep Anna from doing anything rash, he watched as she squirmed and fought her human instincts. As the nights wore on, she grew angry at his total lack of concern for those in the sand mists. Anger at him for his flippant manner to those who might be in danger, and for the first time in a long time they fought. It wasn't much really, she called him a bastard and went out in the middle of the night to go after the person that needed her help. He sighed, gave her ten minutes head start, then went after her. She stood, staring at total disbelief at the man shaped cactus. It was perfect in it's shape, even it's brown coloring resembled clothes until one got very close. But the spines and total stillness... It was a plant, and Anna did not seemed pleased to see him there at the what she un-doutably dubbed as a moment of great shame. The second he reached her and the man shaped cactus, she turned on him.

"You knew!"

"Anna, I tried to explain. You did not listen, there is no human's here, only in the Oasis city which is yet another evening's walk from here. They're tricky, or lucky, I don't know what makes a plant change itself in such a way. These one's look like humans, it's just a twisted little joke of fate. Your not the first person to fall for it, you wont be the last."

"You knew!"

"Anna," This sounded like one of her hormone driven speeches, he mentally braced himself for a dressing down. "Yes, and if you recall I told you it was a mirage when you first saw it. I kept telling you that, when it seemed as if you weren't going to believe me I figured I'd let you find out for yourself."

"You... I... You came after me!"

"You are my wife, of course I'm going to go after you! For the love of all that's holy, I will protect you, even if it's from something as simple as a cactus!"

A smile curled her lips, she tossed her long brown hair. Her manner indicated he had done something right, but he wasn't quite too sure what. She had a look about her, a look of satisfaction, her smile was wide and dreamy. Part of him tensed, that look could mean anything. Luckily it was a good sign. She squealed like a child, and embraced him. For a long moment he just stood there un-  
responding, then he returned the gesture. She snorted at his meek hug, and mild peck on the cheek.. Hearing the sound he normally made tossed his way Kratos didn't exactly know how to react, and he froze. She laughed then, at him, at his expression, and snuggled into his arms. For a long moment he enjoyed her scent, the feeling of life under his hands instead of cold steel. How long had it been since he just held someone, listened to the heart beat of another being instead of it's death gasps? For the first time in centuries he cursed his nature that denied him the ability to feel her heat, to feel the warm sands, and the cool night breeze. If she shook or stirred in his grasp he never would know why. Her hand grasped his, then gently lead his hand to her belly. He felt something, a inner force pressing against the boundaries of his wife's flesh. For a long moment he didn't understand, and then when understanding hit him he did something that he had never done in his Human or Angelic life span. He fainted, or rather it felt much like fainting. The world seemed to tilt all around him, as if some giant were holding him on a great plate and causing it to spin and rock with careless fingers.

"Kratos?" Her voice seemed far away, and very scared.

"I'm alright.." He gasped, that sense of spinning would not go away. Nor was he sure he wanted it to. "More then alright." He laughed, the first warm laugh in what felt like an eternity. "God Anna, I never thought... I wondered but was so scared." He drew her to him, a stupid smile on his face but he was beyond caring for his dark image. She laughed, so happy at his happy-ness. Her eyes misted with tears, but these were tears of joy, and tears that he shared. There was no more travel that night, no more wandering, they set there camp out in the open in the shadow of the cactus and stayed up the rest of the evening eyes to the Heavens. They said very little to each other, only held hands and sat arms wound together. She fell asleep, her arms wrapped around his neck. He alone watched the false dawn bleed into the nights last gasp. And with true dawn at his heals he took his lover, his wife, and his unborn child's bearer, into the darkness of the tent.

"I knew the other foot was going to drop, your good humor never lasts long. But really, must I dress in this horrible.. thing!"

"It's called a barka, and yes, you have to wear it. If you don't you are going to stand out, and we do not need that."

She fell silent at his logic, a small blessing. She'd seemed more irritable lately, prone to mood swings and the like. He figured it to be her pregnancy, a midwife in the last town had told him to expect as much. It was with some relief that she wrapped the long fabric around her face, and endured the silken muzzle. Those were her words, not his. He was less then thrilled with the turban, or the fact that he was going to have to cut his hair. Artificial facial hair had to be harvested and made from a wolf's pelt, that served him as a beard and moustache. Ground root from a common plant in dying had been mixed in his hair, so he looked thirty years older then he was before he'd joined Mithos. How he wished he could say thirty years older, but thirty years would leave no mark on his face, no lines, wrinkles, or grey hairs.

"Do you remember all that I've taught you?" She glared at him and crossed her arms. "Anna this is important, if you can't do this then we skip the town. We'll skip every town we run across if need be." Her eyes narrowed, today was not going to be his day it seemed. "There are two ways to travel in this world Anna. The easy way, we pass through towns, lie a bit, but at least have some human comforts... Or we can do things the hard way... We camp every night out on the road, and when supplies run low I kill brigands and highway robbers to let us make it by. We'll have just enough to live off of, and nothing left over for anyone else, not even our child."

"That's black mail!"

"No my love, it's the truth. Your whole life, even in the ranches, you've never had to sink to that level. I lived it, for three years I lived like that, little more then an animal." He sighed as she looked at him with her expressive eyes. She was wounded by the pain in his voice, by the bitterness and jaded stance he took everything in. She cried for him sometimes, for his sleepless nights and inner pain that never left him. It was strange, after so long, to have someone weep for him. "Anna, that is no way to raise a child. Not a sane one, and I will deny my child as much pain and suffering as I can." His brown eyes looked to one of the dunes beyond Anna as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. "Let me put it this way. There is an Inn in Triet, a cooled building with a primitive bathing house. There is also a silk merchant, a good one that specializes in ribbons. You could do some shopping, since men aren't allowed to do so by the customs of the city, you would have to."

"Shopping?" Her voice had a dreamy quality. Kratos focused on that dune behind her, if he looked at Anna he'd lose control and break out in laughter. "A bathhouse..." Kratos coughed into his gloved hand, Anna's glare made him look away. His wing like cloak suddenly needed to be put in his packs and he retreated to their tent. To work off the cloak with it's uniquely Tethe'allan stylized shoulder pads, or at least he said that to her. For a long moment he strangled on his laughter, then after pulling himself together decided he should change his clothes. They were close enough to be seen now, there camp was not even hidden... Part of him cursed that carelessness, slips like that could be fatal, but then he remembered last night. The cynical part of him fell silent, and he was able to tend to what needed tending un-bothered by his conscience. As he held out the cloak and fumbled with the folding he marveled at the similarity between the cloak and his wings. Something was wrong with it though, and with one digit he found a long slit. On closer examination he noticed two slits in the purple fabric, they were a hand length, but paper thin, and began right at the base of his shoulders and ran a goodly length of his spine... He flinched at the sight, his wings unlike Mithos', were not mist and Mana. They were physical extensions of his body, another indication of Mithos' failure. As he shrugged off his same colored tunic, he checked it for the same tell-tail rips.

He cursed under his breath as his finger went through the slit and wiggled about like a misplaced worm. How the Hell hadn't he noticed this before? They were coated with his blood when he drew them, why hadn't he thought this through enough to realize that his wings were slashing through his clothes? Were there limits to how much they could slash through? Would steel armor be a problem? He cursed at his own stupidity, his total faith in Mithos. How had Mithos known anyways? When Kratos had asked these questions the boy hadn't made his own wings yet. He had been a blind fool, lead by the nose by a child who had been half his age. He stood in the tents darkness for several heartbeats just thinking. God's damn it, how much had that sniveling little brat been manipulating him? Greatly, every question he had gone to Mithos for answers. Much like he had when he was just learning about magic and had asked the most stupid of questions. From Mithos he had learned everything though, had learned of the arcane world that hung to his own by just the thinnest of bonds, he learned of the need for mana, for mana was the life blood of the world. So of course he had gone to Mithos with his questions, and because he had no one else to ask, he had gone to the half-elven for all of his questions concerning the Angelic transformation. He was the perfect geuinne-pig, the flawless slave, because he hadn't known that he was either.  
A bitter taste seeped into his mouth. Yet if anything shocked him it was his lack of real shock. Perhaps somewhere in his soul he had known but wouldn't admit that Mithos was using him, because admitting to the fact that Mithos had been manipulating him meant something even darker was afoot. When Kratos had found about the ranches he had been furious, he had picked up the half elf and slammed him into the wall. They had fought, Kratos' passionate roars drowning out the young man's logic. He'd hated Mithos that day, he had sworn to walk away from Cruxis, to warn the people of both worlds. It was those childish eyes, that child's plea, and the subtle hint of Martel, that made Kratos stay.

A voice from outside made him come back to reality.

"Kratos, is something wrong?"

"Nothing!" He hastily threw his clothes in his pack to hide the fact he'd been brooding over the rips. She entered, and paused at the sight of him half undressed. It wasn't as if she hadn't seem him like this before, it was the implications of him pausing through something half way. In all things he was thorough, he was swift in dealing with what he dubbed menial tasks. She clucked at him, then having to lean against, crossed her arms over her swelling belly.

"Nothing huh? Why don't I believe you then?"

"Because you are a highly suspicious woman, who as I recall, once told me she'd sooner trust Noishe to give a lengthy speech on the value of theological evolution before she'd trust me."

"I said that huh? Guess I'm smarter then I thought." He smiled slightly, and firmly banished the shadows of his brooding from his mind. He did not need to trouble her with them, he had eternity to brood. He had all the nights of the world to mull over his mistakes. "Now then, let me see your packs."

"My... Anna we need to get going..."

"Oh no Kratos, don't try to weasel out of this one. We aren't going anywhere till nightfall, and that's three hours away. You have no logical excuse, so hand them over."

His hand clenched over the bags whose strings were half knotted half not. Her eyes fell on his hands, and for a moment he considered arguing, or merely denying her by raw force. Then he realized how childish that was, and with a sigh handed them over. He was being manipulated again, and as her slender but calloused hands, struggled over the knots he came to realize two things. Kratos became fully aware of just how much she had manipulated him, how her smile or tears would rip at his heart and force him to do what she willed. He also came to realize how little that revelation bothered him. It wasn't a violation, it wasn't something that he couldn't fight, unlike a certain half elf's spells. She untied a few knots, cursed at one of the more difficult ones, then finally attacked his bags with her teeth. Through it all he stood, unmoving, and wondering why he'd allowed himself to get in this situation.

Had Anna been manipulating him all along, reading his emotions with those hazel eyes, and then turning them against him? Could she have toyed with him, with his heart, then bound him to her by way of there unborn child? Anna was sly when she needed to be, but that bluntness, the fiery temperament that had marked her from all the others... Had that been some ruse, some deceitful trick to bind him to her? Watching her, a full grown woman far in her pregnancy, white teeth worked in a fierce grin, as she tugged at the string with her teeth and set both her hands to pulling and winding the string about in a wild attempt to get into his packs, Kratos mentally snorted.

He dare not make the sound aloud, she'd have smacked him with his own travel gear had he done so.

Her glad cry made him look up from his newest spat of brooding, for a long moment he stared at his own clothes that lay at his feet. He stared at the clothes for the longest of moments, he couldn't watch as she picked them up. The tent flap needed to be retied, it was loose, he focused on that while her words rang out behind him.

"Fine huh? Kratos, if it were anyone else I'd say this was shear stupidity, but I like to think I know you very well on this score. You're the most obsessively tidy man I've ever met, my Goddess look at how everything else is set up in here! Folded, re-folded, and somehow, only Martel knows how, it's all clean!" She waited, and did not seem pleased that he only wove the strings of the tent flap between his fingers. "All except your clothes, or rather the one's you were wearing today. Those are rumpled and stuffed in here, a child could have done a better job with this then you..." She broke off, he could feel her eyes boring into him. Yet still he did not lift his gaze from the strings. "Kratos," Her voice was sad, so sad, he lifted his head and met her eyes. Tears pooled in them, the pain of her tone could have drowned him. "Something is bothering you, you can't hide it from me, why wont you tell me?"

"I.. I can't."

"Kratos! I'm not a child! With all I've been through, don't you think you can trust me, a little?"

He lifted his head, and through tear blurred eyes, watched as she re-coiled from him in horror. She had never seen him weep, nor had she seen any man cry like he did. Had it been a child, or even some fragile soul who had lost everything, she could have taken them in her arms as they sobbed and rocked. He stood in a military attention stance, that those of the PalmaCosta guard could have envied. His face was so still, so utterly lifeless. A gargoyle, a statue in the rain, would have made more movement then his face, and through that horrid unearthly stillness tears fell from his eyes. Eyes that looked at everything around him, and pronounce him damned.

The world was molten silver, molten gold, it depended on the sun, the moon... When the sky was it's darkest, and the crystals of the Gods hung above them, the sands were purest silver. She leaned into his back, her white tunic and pants tinted by the light around them. She was the image of a Goddess in this sur-real aura that took this dessert every night. She smiled, her eyes closed but her heart shaped face tilted to the heavens. He rested his own head on her shoulder, bowed low by his pain and old grief revealed. Kratos sighed as one of her hands played his feathered wings, her other drew his cloak around them both, to ward the chill of night.

Well she said it was cold, he would never have known himself if it was or wasn't...

He had told her, had told her a shred of the truth. As much as he thought she could bear without falling into insanity. He told her of his young days, of his days as a human and how he fought alongside a woman named Martel. He told her a little of Mithos, and even less of Yuan. He'd told her of how Martel had fallen ill, how in desperation they had tried to heal her. How they had both triumphed and failed. An assassin, a mad man, had ripped Martel from the companions. She had fallen at her brothers feet a bloody ruin, Kratos' own body spared a fatal knife thrust with her own.

"When he came to himself, or what now serves as himself, his eyes were no saner then that of the assassin's."

Those mad eyes, he had told her, the mad eyes that Mithos had turned to the world could and would destroy them both. Hatred for humans was the heartbeat that kept Mithos alive, that and a deadly obsession.

She had looked at him. Sensing the hollowness of his words, sensing that she was only being told the very surface of the horror he had seen. With eyes that were frighted she had looked at him, and cupped his chin so that he had no choice but to look into her eyes. With those rabbit eyes she looked to him to protect her. He had sworn, not on his wretched life, but his soul.

"No one shall harm you Anna, no one will cause you pain so long as I draw breath. Mithos may try, but he will not get through me..." Kratos pulled her away from him, his gaze apologetic. "Anna, he holds great influence over the church of Martel, as did his sister before him. No mater what happens, no mater if we are separated, you must never go to a chapel, ever."

She flinched in his arms, it went against all the training in her. She had been raised as one of the faithful. Anna's sister had been a prestress of Martel, her mother had been the head of the temple where she was raised. He knew that, that was why he had not told her everything. If madness didn't take her, then courage would. He would not lose her to a hopeless crusade against Cruxis.

"I guess there wont be a wedding then." She sighed, snuggled against him. "I was hoping... I know it's silly, but I wanted to have just a little piece of normalcy."

"You picked the wrong man then. When they come with wings you know they are not going to be normal." She laughed, tousled his hair.

"You're being sneaky again, you're not telling me everything. If you're human then what about these?" She caressed his wing, absently wiping the blood away with her hand. "I always thought you had some elvish blood in you, and the wings were just a statement." At his long silence a bit of steel crept into her voice. "Kratos, come on, you can tell me that much at least!"

"I... I was human. The wings are no statement Anna, they are real. No magic illusion could make something like this..." Suddenly seized by an impulse he stroked her face with one of his silver-blue wings. She shivered, eyes closed as if in extecy. Worried Kratos withdrew his wings, he was so worried that he barly noticed the sharp stabbing pain of then slithering into his back. Never had Anna reacted so strangely before, he mental swore to keep his wings "in" until he knew it was safe for her to be exposed to them. She moaned at the loss of contact, then opened her eyes. For one breath there was a the look of loss on her face, as if she had been denied something that was mean to be hers. Then it was gone, no masked, she too had her secrets it seemed. "When Martel died Mithos decided to preserve her life force. He used a great and ancient power, to bind her soul to an ex-  
sphere..." Kratos bit his tongue, he had almost mentioned the split worlds, it was too late now, Anna knew he was trying to hide something, he reached a compromise. "among other things... I am the guardian of that power Anna, the seal that keeps it in check. Because of the process that I went through to become this guardian, I have wings."

"If this Martel did all these great and wonderful things... Then why haven't I ever heard of her?"

"Her name was different then... It is Mithos' mind to call her Martel, I only honor his wishes."

"But from what you told me... this Mithos hates all humans."

"Because of what happened to me, I don't think he considers me human anymore. Because I too loved her, as a sister!" Kratos added hastily, seeing the pain in Anna's eyes. "Not as a lover, never like that! I have known woman in the past, I have made love to a few... But it was only sport for me back then, none of them meant anything to me! not like you."

"You..." There was a glimer of hate in her eyes, jealousy.

"I was a stupid man Anna. You saw me at the Ranch, you knew how I was. I felt nothing, it was only a..."

"An exercise." She finished for him, he cringed at her tone, tryed to pull away, but her grip was like iron. "Is that all I was? An exercise?"

"No!" the passion, the fire in his normally icy tone, made his words echo with power. "Never that!" She let him go then, and pulled away from him. A shiver ran up her spine, but she did not complain of the cold. She hated him, he expected no less from her. The old Kratos would have accepted that, given her some food and money, and wiped the dust of her from his life. He wasn't that man anymore. He untied his cloak, then tossed it over her shoulders. She looked up then, looked at him from her own misery and smiled. It wasn't much, but it was a start from what his truth had ripped down. "Rest for what remains of tonight, I will keep watch."

"In the morning... We need to get to Triet"

"Yes," Though part of him cried at Anna's pain, part of him understood and was proud of her. "We will be in Triet before Efreet's fury sweeps over this land."

"Kratos... Tonight I'd like to sleep alone, I know it's cruel to you but..."

"Anna, if that is what you need, then you will have it. I'll be outside the tent, call if you need."

"Kratos, thank you... I know I shouldn't be like this, I should understand..."  
"No Anna, you do not. Nor do you have to forgive. Rest well." He then turned unseeing eyes to the desert around him, and listened with a heavy heart to each step she took away from him.


	5. Boiling over

Review responses:

MoonCannon; Well I'm glad you are enjoying my fic so far. Be warned it is long, very _very_ long, I'm transferring this over from my computer now that it's almost done, so if you're going to be loyal about reading this I hope you have a lot of time on your hands. Hopefully you'll enjoy it as the story unfolds farther.

Serrated Darkness; I'm glad you have enjoyed my spin on the KratosxAnna relationship so far. It's rather different from the direction that other authors have taken I was a little nervous about it truth be told. I've noticed that other authors tend to make Anna a great deal like Lloyd, or like Kratos. I don't go that route, I kind of like the idea of Anna being her own person.

Boiling over

Chapter 5

It was strange, the next morning. She ate his cooking with no comment. Ate without tasting, and ate so very little of the food. He ate more then she, and at most all he could live off of was a few mouthfuls of food per meal. For a moment he considered forcing her to eat, or casting a spell over her that would bring a false appetite to her. As he brooded on her own lack of appetite she looked at him, brooding on who knew what. For the first time since he had met

her, when he looked into Anna's eyes he could not see her thoughts. It made the silence all the more terrifying. For one who loved to talk like Anna did, the silence was an alien experience for Kratos. It weighed down on him, numbed his mind, and made him ache to fill in the emptiness between them. But no words would come to his lips. And so the silence built between them, a wall that he had no idea how to breach. So they ate breakfast, packed the tent, and cleaned up after their campsite. All without saying a word. Noishe, Noishe seemed to suffer the most. He lay on the sands of Triet's dessert and looked at nothing; he lay on the scalding sands and did nothing. Only when Anna petted him did he look up. He lifted his snout to her, wagged his tail, then lay back down, refusing to move. Worried she called Kratos over; it was the first words she had spoken to him so far.

"Kratos, is Noishe sick?"

Kratos had gone to the un-moving protozoan. He had checked as well as he could for fever, for swelling along Noishe's jaws and throat. He even went so far as to cast a spell of healing and purification on the wolf like creature.

"Nothing, he seems fine." He tried to ignore Anna's gaze. It was the first magic she'd ever seen. He could not look into her eyes, for accusations, worry, all of that would be there, and he couldn't deal with that right now. "What I did was check him for injuries and purge him of sickness. If there is something wrong, it's not physical. Come on Noishe."

The protozoan looked at Kratos with his liquid brown eyes and whined.

"We need to get going do you want Anna to be out here walking during noon?"

The hound like ears slicked back, Noishe whined deep in his throat, but still did not move.

"Come one Noshy, time to move along."

"_Noshy_?" Kratos turned to face Anna. She flushed under his intense stare.

"Yes, I call him Noshy, do you have a problem with that?"

"None," Kratos held his hands up in mock surrender. "It just sounds so..."

"Childish?" She shrugged and it was his turn to redden. "I think I'm entitled, I haven't been so well traveled as other people I know."

"Anna, that is below you!"

"What do you know is below me and what's not!" A deadly light came into her eyes. She wanted a fight; she wanted someone to strike out against. Part of Kratos was just glad she took her anger out on him instead of someone helpless, like Noishe. Part of him was furious that she dared to look at him with anger in her eyes, that part he knew too well, and forced it down. Fine, he'd be her target, but he'd get his own words in the fight.

"You can not hide anything from me Anna, you are as easy to read as a book."

"Yeah, I guess if you use magic to read minds it's easy!"

"I never would..."

"How can I trust you, when you have some many damned secrets? Why the Hell should I even have anything to do with you!"

"If it hadn't been for me you'd be dead!" He knew he was yelling, that he should force himself to calm down, but the voice of his reason was being consumed by the fires of his rage. "If I hadn't come to save you you'd still be Forcystus' whore!"

He never saw such pain in her eyes, nor did he ever see such pain turn to rage in less then a heartbeat. She curled her fist, than swung, and for all his training and experience he could not block or dodge the blow. She hit him on the chin, his head whipped back, and his feet lost there grip in the sands. He didn't black out, but he did fall, and he most certainly made quite a sight sprawled out on the ground. He gritted his teeth, than lifted his head from the sands. The first sight he saw was of Anna, her green shroud pressed around her face like a mask, her moon hued robes flapped in the breeze. Her left hand clenched in a fist, she looked down at him. Her brown eyes reflected a fire hotter then the fires that were used to forge the world. She forced herself to unclench her fist, but Kratos could read the struggle in her open eyes.

"I never was Forcystus' whore, I never let a man lay his hands on me. I've killed men for trying to make sport of me. You were the first one I trusted Kratos, the first, and now... Now I can't ever trust you again. You wont tell me the truth, even after I've told you all of mine you wont return that trust... So I screwed up, I've done it before, this time though at least I got something out of it." She touched her belly, then looked at him with something close to hate in her eyes. "I'm going to Triet, then after that maybe Izoold... Now that I know where I'm going I don't need your help anymore."

All he could do was stare at her, no sound would come from his throat. She glared at him then snorted at his weakness.

"Just shut up Kratos! Do me a favor, just go away! Come on Noshy!"

Noishe looked to the fallen Kratos, then to Anna, and whimpered. The look on his face said plainly that if he could, he would have split himself in two so that he wouldn't lose either of them. Noishe whimpered, than went to Kratos, nuzzling the fallen seraphim. With a growl Kratos forced himself to stand, he took a step back, and Anna said nothing. She only looked at him with those angry eyes.

"Noishe, let us go." Kratos turned his back on Anna, and was surprised to feel teeth clamp on his ankle. "Noishe!" The protozoan loosed his bite just a little, but the teeth were still there. As the creature dug its paws in the sands Anna snorted, and made move to walk off. Noishe growled at her, and went after her, giving her ankle the same treatment. Unlike Kratos though, her balance wasn't as good, and she fell down, almost crushing Noishe.

"Stupid dog, let go! Kratos, call your mutt off of me!"

"Noishe! Down!" The green and silver pup sat down in front of Anna, and looked at Kratos with expectant eyes. What ever he wanted, it was all beyond Kratos. "In the name of Origin... What the hell's wrong with you?" Noishe whimpered, but remained besides Anna, and when Kratos made to leave them both he heard the protozoan find his paws. "Damn it!" Kratos tried to shake the i dog /i " off, but failed miserably. For the second time in almost a thousand years Kratos was sent to the sands, face first. When he was able to pull himself up from the sands, a familiar sound made him jerk.

Anna was laughing.

"We might as well give up; he's not going to let us leave him."

"Wont let..?" Kratos snorted, drew his sword, and angled it at Noishe.

Anna only kept laughing.

"Forget it Kratos, you couldn't do it if you wanted to anyways." Her lover's blade dipped to the ground, as the truth of her words struck home. "It seems as if we are being controlled by a dog."

"So it seems..."

Noishe merely wagged his tail, he barked for the first time in hours, and it was a content sound. With a sigh Kratos sheathed his sword. Kratos was surprised when Noishe sat perfectly still, and met his eyes. Even more so when one of those eyes closed in a wink. With a yip Noishe hopped to his paws and ran to Anna, wiggling in front of her with the most pathetic look on his face.

"I don't have your throw disk Noshy, Kratos has it." With a whine Noishe then turned on Kratos. Surprised, Kratos tossed his packs to the ground, and opened the mess of flaps and knots. After a bit of fumbling through his packs the seraphim was surprised to realize he didn't have the disk. Something small and tan whizzed over his head, and Noishe leapt straight up, used Kratos' shoulders as a vault, and for the third time in one day Kratos was eating dirt.

"Amazing, he's like ten pounds and he still brings you down."

"Shut up Anna!" Kratos wiped sand and bits of false beard from his face. There was only so much a disguise could take after all. "Damn it all to bloody Hell, that was the last bit of wolf's pelt!"

"It looked bad anyways."

Her tone made Kratos look up. It sounded almost like a peace offering. When he met her eyes he saw the shadow of regret, a hint of anger, and sadness. But still in her eyes he saw something that made his heart shrivel. There was a hesitance, a lack of trust. It was as if she was taking back everything save that which she couldn't.

"All I wanted to do was to protect you, that was it. If I told you the truth, the full truth, you would be in great danger."

"Ignorance hasn't exactly been saving me either Kratos. It isn't a shield, it's an opening... No it's more then that, it's like if you stabbed me in the back to keep me from growing old and dying. It looks wonderful on some levels, after all it's not that painful, but it still kills me Kratos. And it's worse then what anything else could be done, because you could stop it, you just wont."

"Later, later I'll show you the truth."

"I won't wait, not forever."

"You don't have forever Anna..."

"No one does Kratos."

He looked at her, and for one second his shields were down. She could see a glimmer of some greater truth that lead to the madness he surrounded himself with.

"No Anna, some do live forever, the damned."


	6. Desert run

Dessert Run

Chapter 6

"Since we're being more honest with each other, can I ask you a question?"

Ever since he had agreed to be more honest with her Kratos never stopped hearing that question. It fell from her lips almost every other second, as some random and crazy question popped into her head. Some of them had been golden, "were those angel wings or a fairy's?" he actually had laughed at that one. Others had been very dangerous. She had asked him if he was connected to the church of Martel. The look he had shot her made her stop mid question. She didn't bring up the church again, which he was grateful for. He showed that gratefulness by telling her about Origin, and the old stories about how he crafted the world.

"You saw it?" She had such a child's wonder sometimes, and he found himself smiling, and nodding his head. When he had told Yuan this story the wizard had only yawned. Telling the tales to Mithos was rather stupid because the half elf had been there, he had watched as Kratos defeated Origin singlehandedly to form the pact. "You saw a four armed man, who is supposedly the creator of all, but he's not a man, but a spirit."

"More or less..."

"And you shared it's memories?" 

"When a pact is made, a soul pact, not one a summoner makes... The souls and minds merge into one being. It... was strangely pleasant, Origin was an innocent in those times. A being who gave birth and life to everything that life is made of, an artist in the purest sense. In that way he is not so much different from a human. But instead of say making art pieces with words, or paints, he makes them out of mana. I imagine my own mind was not a pleasant experience for him. My childhood was rough Anna, born to poverty I knew many things he did not. I knew starvation, hatred, suffering, and in those days I was still dealing with my racism. Martel made me choke on my "natural" hatred until I felt as if I was choking on my own blood. She ripped it out of me, made me see myself as I was."

Anna's hand slid on his shoulder, and for once he leaned onto her, drew strength from her strength.

"That wasn't all this Origin saw Kratos. He saw your bravery, your sacrifice, and despite what you think... he saw beauty in your soul. No one else could have made it through all you have and remained sane. You said you had a rough childhood, how many other people let that break them. You've hinted at so many other things, so much more darkness, and to fight darkness you need light."

"Anna you are my light." He drew her to him. She wormed her way out of his grasp.

"No offense but it is far too hot to snuggle!" She kissed him. It wasn't the same, but it was close, he'd take what he could for now. "It must be nice, not feeling this blasted heat."

They were to have gone to Triet in the local native's attire. They had scratched that thought after a fight between them had ruined Kratos' old man costume. So he was dressed in his typical tunic, cloak, pant combination, save that he wore midnight blue in stead of his favored black. Anna on the other hand wore a set of robes that a couple on a pilgrimage had given to them. They were too big or his wife's svelte frame, but they served better then his clothes, which was all she had after her escape from the Ranch. They had wisely burned her older clothes before leaving the territory of Iselia Forest. "Old man costume" was Anna's words, not his. He had thought that the grey hair and false beard would make him look more dignified. Anna's assessment wasn't as kind.

"As my brother loved to tell me, it makes you look dorky!"

"Dorky?" He had asked in a wounded tone. She had snorted, then rolled her eyes.

"Yes, dorky. It's a good you haven't aged all that much, you'd have done it badly."

If only she knew the truth of that statement. 

"Ahh, did I say something that I wasn't too? Again?" 

"No, actually it's rather funny... Tell me Anna, would you believe me if I told you I was older then I looked."

"I'd say yes, you're much older then you look."

"Humor me, try to guess my age."

Surprised she had done so, and had kept doing so. It was a game for them, or rather for her. And it kept her mind off of the heat, which was a blessing of sorts. Poor Noishe, the sands were too fine for his paws, and rubbed away at the pads of them until they bleed. It was Anna who had made the horrible discovery, she had first seen the crimson paw prints, and had kept the whimpering dog off the round while Kratos had wound up the little feet. Now Kratos held the sleeping protozoan over his shoulder like a hunters trophy, rough bandages were made from one of his spare cloaks. Anna would make them stop every hour or so to check Noishe's bandages, and apply there ever dwindling supply of alcohol to the little ones wounds. Triet, which had once been an option was now a nessecity. They needed more disinfectant, they needed some more medical supplies, and there water was almost gone. It wasn't a serious worry for Kratos, if he had been traveling by himself he'd have passed Triet by without a thought. Anna, though good spirited, was showing signs of dehydration. As was Noishe. They had no choice, they traveled in the hottest hours of the day, there would be no water in the morning. Much to his worry, Anna finished his last water skin that afternoon with her lunch that consisted of a piece of bread.

"You should rest more, you are with child and..." 

"When you find a place close by to do so only point me to it Kratos." Her wolfish grin made his blood run cold. That was the closest Anna ever got to saying that things were bad. She'd draw from deep within herself her courage, make a few jokes, then silently trudge forward. Which was more or less what she was doing now.  
"If we aren't there by nightfall I'll leave you for a bit to re-stock our suplies."

"Is there an oasis nearby?"

"No."

"Then how?" 

"You don't want to know."

"Kratos, we went through this before, I'm not a child! Don't make me knock you out again to prove a point."

"How does your capability to wreck violence on me prove that you have superior maturity over me?"

"I knew you'd ask that, you are so predictable!" She rolled her eyes to the heavens, and sighed. "It doesn't. But I swear it's the only way to get to you sometimes. I guess that has to do with your gender..." She smiled at him. "Kind of makes me hope we have a girl. One boys bad enough, two, I shudder to think about it." She mock shuddered and it was his turn to roll his eyes.

"Concerning genders I was wondering, what name would you like?"

She looked at him, it was the first time he ever initiated a conversation about there soon to be born child. Well there was about two months before there child was to be born, he didn't consider it too long. Anna always talked as if they had all the time in the world. But then his view on time verses Anna's were radically different.

"Well if it's a girl I was kind of hoping we could name her Kala. As a mix of both of our names..." Kratos smiled, touched by the gesture. "That or Samantha, that was my mom's name. What was your mother's name Kratos, maybe we could work both of them in?" 

"Bark!" Noishe chirped in, Anna laughed and reached over to give what she still ensisted was a "dog" a scritch behind the ears.

"No Nosihe, "bark" isn't a good human name, thank you for offering though."

"Illan." Kratos sighed, and gave Nosihe a thankful pat. He'd known why Kratos had hesitated so long. He hated how long it took him to remember sometimes.

"Ellen?"

"No Illan, it's the archaic root for the name Ellen."

She rose an eyebrow in question, but he ignored the gesture. As that night not so long ago, he took her hand and lead her to top of the nearest hill. Now awake Noishe became more of a problem. He insisted on getting a better view, and nearly fell to the sands in his squirming. The moment, which had seemed a shard of the past was gone, but somehow, as Anna adjusted his "fur coat" and smiled at both of them, it seemed better. There was little fear in Anna, yes there was a fear of death in the heat's killing power, but it wasn't so great as her near mind-less terror of the Desians. As they crested the last hill hand in hand they came to the sight of Triet. All they had to do was go down the hill and follow the ill kept road for a mile. Then they could rest. She caught his eye, then with a smile released his hands and ran down the hill. She stopped halfway down, then looked up to him, a smile on her face.

"Oh come on Kratos, you're too slow! I'll beat you there, and you'll be paying for supper if you lose!"

"Impossible, with Noishe and half our gear on my back you expect me to..."

"There's always hope Kratos, but if you're going to stand there all day with Noishe... And remember I have half the gear on my back too. Come on oh powerful warrior, certainly ten pounds isn't all that much..." 

"For that, consider your head start time cut in half! You have a minute to run ahead Anna." As he watched her half slide, half run, down the hill Kratos gave Noishe an absent scritch. "Hope hmm..." Yes he had that if nothing else, as for winning her little bet Anna had none. Gripping Noishe's paws above the ankle to make sure he would not lose the protozoan Kratos leapt, into sunlight, into sky, and after the one he had so generously given that head start to.


	7. Crimson Wings

Crimson wings...

Chapter 7

Letting Anna go out alone had been a mistake. She had left him at the inn, taking Noishe with her. She had said something about getting him to a doctor, or coming up with a way for him to walk. Despite her words Kratos could imagine Anna dragging the poor protozoan through the ribbon market dressing him up like a doll. Nosihe's parting bark made Kratos figure that his "dog" didn't know what he was getting into. Noishe would learn, and come back with ribbons woven through his fur.

On some levels Kratos was glad he didn't go. He despised how woman shopped, always haggling and talking... A sword and glare normally gave him the prices he wanted. Anna was in this way a normal female, and he had to admit that if she got them what was needed at a low price there money would last longer. A knock on the door made Kratos look up, but when there was no accompanying bark Kratos didn't bother to answer.

"Hello? Is anyone in there?" Gargled the person on the other side of the door. The next comment by the voice was pitched low, too low for most humans to hear. "Well then if no one's home then I'll just go help myself to..." The door squeaked as the innkeeper pulled it open. For a long moment the pot-bellied man stared at Kratos. Took in the silver sword that lay on the seraphim's lap, and took in the powerful form of the man who rested on the bed...

Then, it was as if the innkeeper put on a mask. A mask that melded with the man's doughy face. Out came the oily smile, the watery brown eyes went wide, and the smugness was gone, all in less then a breath. Gone was the man's true self, as it was replaced by a fawning that Anna had described as "annoying as Hell". For once he agreed with her, profanity and all.

"Hello good sir, it is a pleasure to see you enjoying your room!"

Even the voice was higher, it was as if the man wanted to mimic the innocence in a child's voice by matching pitches.

"Humph… I'll enjoy it better once you are out of my sight."

"Of course... of course..." The man was already backing out o the room. He bowed every other step, his too wide eyes never leaving Kratos and Anna's packs. The man paused by the door, and Anna's lover could see the other man's mind running around in a wild attempt to get him out of the room. "Sir, you are aware of our policy with cleaning each room? Every day at noon we shoo out our guests so that we may better clean their rooms."

"My room's fine, thank you."

"Your doesn't think so, as a matter of fact she asked the mai-"

Kratos stood, and then far faster then most men could think, he crossed the room and had his sword to the innkeepers throat. Under the sun burns it was possible to see the man's face turn pale. With one hand he held his sword, with the other he grabbed the front of the fools tunic. With a careless gesture he threw the man into the room, than closed the door. It was good to not have Anna about right now. She had stressed caution, had kept his temper in check when some men had come up to them, had insulted her, and then asked Kratos if Anna was for sale. In Triet the word (A/N: yeah I censored the word, I don't want to jack the rating up any higher then I have to) meant woman, for all woman were dogs meant to be little more then breeding stock. It was an insult that he could not tolerate.

"It's there culture." Anna had sighed; her hand lay on his as she hid the fact that i his /i hand was clenched around the hilt of his blade. Unlike other places where such a gesture would have been seen as "cute" it was viewed by the dessert dwellers with scorn. She had marked herself as a whore, with her unveiled face and absent caresses. "Just grit your teeth and say no, don't worry with that look on your face no one will ask twice."

It would feel good to hurt someone who had all but asked for it. It would feel good to lash out at the man who had just insulted his wife. The innkeeper fell to the floor with a whimper, than came to his feet with a growl. Dagger in hand the man glared at the one who had once been a man. With the servile mask gone Kratos could see the real person underneath, and he would later mutter a prayer to the ancient Gods that Anna was not here by herself. Hate, lust, those were the fires that lit this man's eyes, and, much to his discomfort Kratos thought of Mithos. How alike those innkeeper's eyes were to his "lords".

"So you're all show. You carry a shiny sword to spook the commoners." The knife plunged down, and Kratos dropped his sword and grabbed the man's wrist. An expert twist and the knife fell to the floor. For a long moment Kratos considered the lump of quivering human flesh and bone in his grip. Then with exploring hands he ran the length of the man's wrist. Finding what he was looking for Kratos applied pressure, and the man fell to his knees howling. The crack of the man's smallest wrist bones were music to the warrior ears. The man shrieked, moaned, and went limp in Kratos' arms. Such a racket should have roused the city guards, but it was the hottest time of the day. No sane man would be out in the heat, or run out into it to see why another screamed.

Especially when the man who screamed was hated, when all his neighbors knew of the petty thieveries that his customers endured.

A growl from Kratos' throat made the innkeeper flinch, no longer hungering for another's suffering Kratos felt a twinge of guilt as the man's moans continued. He noticed how the human staggered, then fond his feet. There was a slight gesture with his whole hand, something so minuscule that it stroked one of the Seraphim's darker memories. Feet climbing the stairs made Kratos snap his head up, obviously there was someone deranged enough to bear the heat and come to the man's cries of pain.

A bark from the lobby made Kratos' blood turn to ice.

The innkeeper smiled at his enemy, flourished the dagger he had retrieved from the floor in his false stumble. Took a step to the side, so that Kratos could see who the would be rescuer was...

Anna, and for one moment he could see her and she him. She saw his horrified eyes, saw the innkeeper's pain filled orbs. There was a flash of silver, than Anna staggered back. Her hands, she fisted her left then gripped the left's wrist with her right hand. Then as if her hands were a shield she brought them up, and managed to strike her attacker's arm. It wasn't much, little more then a slap, but the knife thrust veered to the left, and plunged into her cruxis crystal. Better then her jugular, which was where the strike had initially been aimed. Yet not by much. With a screech Anna collapsed, her eyes rolled back into her head, she fell and writhed on the floor.

With a startled yalp the man fell back, Kratos' iron grip threw him back into the room. The man shrieked, rolled over, tried to bolt. Blood pounded in the Seraphim's head, a drum of crimson was his heart. He heard a sharp panting; an animal's sound, and paid it no heed. This man had struck his wife down; there was no mercy for him, only pain. Somehow he had come to hold a sword, was it his? He didn't know.

He didn't care.

With a cry he brought the flat of the blade down in the man's legs. It wasn't mercy that guided him; he did not wish to spare the man's life...

Only to prolong the bastard's trip to Hell.

There was a wet snap, much louder then before, as both the man's legs broke under the force of the blow. The innkeeper howled like a dog, using his good and bad hand he tried to crawl away. The man crawled forward only to find himself moving no where, his futile motions merely bunched up the blankets. Somehow the man had landed on the bed, and the fact Kratos couldn't remember tossing the man there himself didn't bother the seraphim. With a snarl the blade fell, arched through the air and glowed with a silver light, it slashed deeply into the man's belly, but not deep enough to sever the spine.

i Oh no, no quick way out or this one. /i 

Annoyed was all Kratos felt, annoyed that the sword was not delicate enough to rip the hole open and not dull itself on the man's ribs. He could always sharpen it later, he consoled himself. As if from far off he could hear someone yelling, it was a mad feverish yelling that was a mix of many languages. Insane, utterly insane, and mixed with it was a harsh panting.

Blood flew everywhere as the innkeeper lay on the bed, being almost delicately vivisected. Blood stained the sheets, the light was fast in fading from his enemies eyes.

"Damn it, no, you will not deny me!"

Still the man's face was easing, as the last light of life fled. For one moment he considered using a healing spell, to bring the man back so he might suffer more.

i Anna /i 

Kratos shuddered, than called to him a sliver of power. Fire appeared in his hand, an orb that was a dull orange, larger then a melon. He considered it, then Anna's assailant. There was not enough time to make the hole bigger, not enough time before the bastard died. He would just have to work around this little difficult. He walked up to the thing that had once been a man. It looked at him with wide watery eyes, a horror on it's face.

"Allow me to grant you a taste of the Hell your soul now goes to." He dropped the fireball into the open wound. Then watched in sick satisfaction as the man cooked, from the inside out. When the last thrashes stopped Kratos turned away. Anna was mercifully out cold, she would have no memory of this. She might wonder at the shadows around his eyes, but she would not have seen what put them there...

With trembling hands Kratos bent down, and took his wife's limp form from the floor. The fire was spreading; the room would soon be engulfed in flame. For a second he cursed the loss of his packs, but it was only for a breath, for the next tasted of smoke. Anna should not be left in this place, the smoke could kill her. Carrying his lover like he would his child, Kratos let the inn burn to the ground, and left Triet, swearing to himself that he would never return.

center /center 

"Noishe come!" His throat barely could force the sounds out, it was so raw. Smoke and screaming did that, he guessed. His supposed "divine" state could not protect from nature. The protozoan padded up to Kratos, his paws were yet again bleeding. They could not slow down, not even to treat Noishe, and thankfully it was something that Noishe understood. When Kratos had moved first treat the cuts the protozoan had bit him, then walked forward. Not needing any more hints they had gone on. They had passed through the valley of brown nameless rock, and were now walking in the open, closing the space that lay between them and the Desian Base.

Yuan's camp, was the one thing keeping control over the Triet human. It was also a base where new Desian troops were trained. There were a multitude of rumors from both the Desians and members of Cruxis that the "camp" was falling into disrepair. It didn't matter if it was or wasn't to the Seraphim, what mattered was that there lay a gate to Derris Kharlan. Or rather there was a portal above the fort that lead to the holy city. He would need his Reiard though, and to get that he would need to deal with whatever fool Yuan had put in charge during his prolonged absence.

He walked up to the gate, leaving Noishe behind to watch Anna while he dealt with the Desians. Again he was grateful for Anna's comatose state; the mere mention of Desian's would have made her gone into hysterics. This plan that he had formed would have pushed her beyond mere hysterics. He walked into the Desian base, expecting what he would have at the Isila Ranch.

What he got was a whole different story. While magnificent on the outside, the interior walls were sheathed in rusting bits of metal. No hand had come by to clean up; the place was riddled with scrap metal. Disgusted, Kratos kicked a piece of metal out of his way and kept walking down the dully lit hallway. Yuan, it seemed, had fallen into one of his depressions. For decades he would shun the company of his fellow seraphim and brood in this little hovel in Slyverant.

No one had seen him enter, no guard had asked him his business at the gate, like disembodied eyes the security cameras looked off to the dessert. All of them gazed in different directions, yet none of them were focused on the path he had come from, and none of them had swiveled in his direction. He doubted that if the cameras had moved they could have stayed on their little towers. Coming to one of the more familiar halls Kratos paused, then put his hand against the blue pad in the wall. The air shimmered and the Seraphim stepped into the hanger. At least this was in good condition; no matter how far he'd fallen Yuan always took care of what he really cared about.

All he had was Martel, Martel and the Rieard...

Having lost one of his pet projects to Mithos, Yuan had poured all his remaining energy into the other. On some levels it was terrifying, the steel falcons looked no different from the last time the group had used them. They were polished, clean, and when Kratos slid into his red falcon he noticed that it was still charged.

It was fully charged!

Great mana had to be poured into these ships just to keep their power gauge to the halfway point. When Mithos, Martel, Yuan, and Kratos had been together they hadn't dared charge them all the way. The arcane drainage would have been the death of them all.

"What the Hell are you doing here?"

Kratos looked up, to see a male half elf glaring at him. It had been ages since one of them had dared talk to him in that tone. With a raised eyebrow the seraphim concerned himself with the ships reading. He ignored how the sandaled feet crossed the steel floor, ignored the sword being drawn, then absently blocked when the blade whistled down on his head. The feigned indifference as well as his strength shook his foe; he could see it when the man met his gaze.

"I have other things to do then waste times with Desians." Kratos kicked the man off the platform in which the ship rested on. He swung his leg over the side of the Reiard, much like a man would pull himself a saddle. "Tell Yuan I have come to borrow my old ship, if he has an issue with it he can talk to me about it later. We'll be meeting at Yggdrasil's castle in four years anyways, I imagine he can wait that long."

"You dare mock Lord Yuan!" The young Desian snarled he then brought his red and black sword around for a second strike. This time Kratos wasn't gentle, he drew on his angelic mana, and sent the young man flying across the room with a flick of his wings. The muscular Desian, so rare in a normally svelte race, sunk to his knees in terror. He now knew just who he was dealing with. Red dripped on the man's white tunic; glints of silver-blue were embedded in the tunic. With a trembling hand the man reached into on of the lesser wounds and withdrew a feather. Kratos had no more time for the fool, without a second glance he turned the Reiard on and felt it hum to life. With bloodied hands, and blooded wings he flew from Yuan's ranch. Back to the valley, back to Anna.


	8. Crystine reflections

Chapter 8

Her hair gleamed in the light. It served as a false halo of silver, given to her by the star light. The light bleached her, made her pale, her face was masked in shadows, her eyes and lips tinted with silver high lights. She looked dead, and if it weren't for the fall or rise of her breast he'd had thought her dead. It was disturbing; this woman once so filled with life looked like a corpse. She was a perfect mate for death, this dead woman. Her silence was also fitting; it made her blend in this city that fed off of silence. The crystal walls around them would have shattered at anything above a human's whisper, or at least that's how it seemed. She lay, her face expressionless, her brown hair fanned out behind her. Woven through each lock were beads of moon and star light. For all her stillness she was magnificent. The wear of her journey had been washed away by gentle hands, her clothes made of the best quality. In her own stillness she was beautiful, but compared to what she had been this beauty was a sham. Once the eyes had been open and while they were a plain brown hue they had gleamed with life.

That fiery life that fate had done it's damned best to quench. Yet despite fate's hand her eyes mocked death, had mocked it in all its form and had come out of it all the stronger. Not so recently they had gazed at Death's champion and chosen him for her own. Now it seemed as if she would spend eternity caught between the void that separated the living from the dead.

_Derris Fa Sith_...

The angel of Death...

That was what he was, he who sat by her side. Tending to her needs, feeding her what he could, and forcing water down her throat when he must. He held her limp form in his arms for hours, maybe even days, whispering words that he hoped would bring her back. Time was nothing to him now, once he thought himself above time and its petty whims.

Now he knew that was not the case.

One could not achieve that ultimate distance between ones self and the real world willingly. Time meant caring about the effects that it brought on your self and those around you, only despair could bring such apathy onto someone. For the longest time he had held his sword over her, ready to deal the killing strike. He imagined her essence trapped in a cold, lifeless void, her voice crying out for release. He would place his sword over her heart, and look down at her. That was his mistake, his error, and his once sure sword arm would waver. He came to realize that he could never make himself do it, on the dawn of such realization he sheathed his weapon and sank to his knees besides her bed. He had already spent his prayers on her, all of them a human could waste in one life, yet none of them were answered. He wanted her alive, he wanted the bastard who did this to her dead, he wanted the bastard alive so that he may wreck more damage on his miserable hide.

Yet he only had to look in the mirror to see the person at fault.

For all the fault lay on him.

"If I hadn't been so rash, so angry, I could have done more, or better yet I could have avoided the fight that lead to this."

When he fell into that mood Noishe would leave the room. His own pet it seemed was worn out with Kratos' endless regrets. Noishe was the only thing that kept him sane. Noishe was also the only thing that kept his sword away from him. When he fell into the darkest of moods, when he contemplated initiating his own end the protozoan would leap into action. Somewhere in his endless life span his "dog" had learned how to steal. Kratos would find himself bowled over, sword ripped from its sheath, and all his other swords would disappear from the walls of the room. By the time he'd gotten over his shock Noishe would be laying on a nest of sheathed swords. Any attempt to take those swords back would lead to a bite.

Noishe had bit him at least six times since they had made it to Derris Kharlan. No amount of threatening, begging, or groveling, would make the protozoan get up. Angry, disgusted, Kratos had considered going to Mithos, if the boy got wind of this he'd kill Kratos and Anna, doing what the seraphim could not get himself to do. Noishe unfortunately got wind of the mad scheme first, and kept Kratos from leaving his quarters the only way he could.

He had threatened to rip Anna's throat out with his own fangs.

That had froze Kratos in his tracks, he stared at the protozoan for a long time, just taking in the sight of Anna's throat being oh-so gently wrapped in that maw full of fangs. Tears, human tears, had been pouring down that canine face. When the seraphim released the door knob Noishe left Anna alone, hopped off of the bed and went to the small kitchen. There Noishe went to his bowl, and with a paw scooted it over in Kratos' direction.

_He just threatened my wife, and now he wants dinner_...

Well why shouldn't I, Anna would have disapproved of me treating Noishe like this anyways...

The last thought froze him in mid step. If he centered his life on that thought he was admitting that Anna was dead. He was giving up, and letting her sleep for eternity. Just like Martel and Yuan. He'd have no life, he'd just linger in this lair of his, tending to someone who he knew could never get better. For a moment he considered it, and he considered Yuan in a new light. He now knew what it felt like to be separated from someone he loved, someone who his soul was one with. He knew the emptiness, he lived it. And he could just go on living it, letting it build, coil inside of him, and consume him till death at last came. Or he could fight it.

"Anna would have done it; she'd have challenged Mithos had it been necessary. Hell, if she knew what Mithos was doing I'd have to tie her down to the bed to make her not go after him."

For the first time in weeks a chuckle came out of his throat. At that sound Noishe whined, it was a hopeful sound. It was as if the protozoan was praying that Kratos would not fall into another fit of hysterics.

"Noishe, guard Anna, no one is to enter but me." The dog whined, then looked to the bedroom which Anna lay. "No boy, I... I need to do some research. cruxis crystals... I don't know anything about them; it seems as if I need to find out."

Noishe's answering bark was a welcome sound in the stillness of the room, in the stillness which was the heartbeat of Derris Kharlan.

"I'll be back in an hour or two." He reached down, stroked the protozoan's fuzzy head. His bloody hands fouled the silver fur, but Noishe didn't seem to mind. He only looked up at Kratos with his liquid brown eyes, and for the first time in what felt like a long time, there was hope in them. A hope that was also in him, but it was only a sliver, a sliver compared to the absolute trust that was Noishe's eyes.

center /center

Kratos went to the outskirts of town, or what served as both town and capital in Derris Kharlan. Unlike human cities the buildings of learning were not exalted, were not put in the center of there world, but rather on the outskirts. He lived, as best as the word applied, on the most western side of the city. As far from Mithos' castle as he could, much to the half elf's disappointment. Yuan refused to live here, when it was nessicary that he be in Derris Kharlan for a number of years he would move in with Kratos. It was strange really, such gestures as sleeping, or eating, were followed by both men when they lived under the same roof. They acted as normal as they could when they were alone, and when they were living together. It was only when Mithos was about that they acted as the half elf lad wanted. They acted like cold automations, with no will, and little voice. At first it had been a joke by Yuan to act like that, now... Now it had become a diseased pleasure for Mithos, and so they continued the act. Neither of them dared to tick Mithos off, such a gesture would have lead to instant death. What Kratos had done went beyond merle ticking Mithos off. He could well imagine the hatred that the boy would level towards the Seraphim, could well imagine Mithos' actions. Kratos had a little slip up before; he had gone to his old hometown one too many times in a life span. He had been remembered.

Some random flower girl had recalled his face, perhaps he had lingered over some bloom too long. Regardless she had remembered him, and she had said something to him. It had been so innocent, her query about weather or not he had visited this place ten years ago. The scent of the sea, the tingle of the bloom under his hands, he had been distracted. He had let nostalgia take him in its grasp, and had been in the fog of his older simpler days. He had told her a sliver of truth. Yes he had been here a few years ago. It wasn't ten, he wasn't i that /i old, it had to have been three or perhaps four years since his last visit. She had said that he carried his coming age well, and he had laughed at her words. When he had walked through the village's square the woman had decided that she wanted an escort, humored he had walked her home.

She was married, she told him as they walked, she was in truth using him a little. Her husband always got free with his money when he was jealous, an attempt to "buy her back". There was a basket maker from Izoli and she wanted to get one of her works... Kratos had nodded his understanding, had even consented to allow her to give him a peck on the cheek before she slipped inside. The whole incident was so innocent, so human, that he had allowed himself to enjoy it. That had been a mistake. Silver blue eyes met his own when he stepped into the square for the second time that day. White robes had gleamed in the sunlight as the boy, who was not a boy, glared at him from across the city's heart. Kratos knew then that he should leave the city, it was a silent warning he was trying Mithos' patience. Kratos though had been enjoying himself, had decided to stay another night. Even went so far as to rent a room in the inn. Mithos had been waiting for him in his room, Kratos' meal sitting in his lap.

"I make you what you are and this is the thanks I receive? Or have you forgotten what you are?"

"Don't lecture me boy," Mithos' face had twisted in rage. "Don't ever think you have that right. So what if I enjoy an evening or two away from duty? Yuan also takes little breaks, as do your pet Desians. It keeps us in good humor, away from each other's throats, and that serves your ends."

"You mock what you have become. Food, new clothes, women, come now Kratos. You don't need those things."

"She is only an acquaintance Mithos, only someone who I talked to. As for the rest, yes I don't need them. But sometimes we do things that aren't needful. It is one of the things that keep us sane."

"So you then need humans..." The boy had paused, looked at the stew in his lap. Then he had smiled, had smiled a tooth only smile. "Yes, I understand, and I apologize, I stepped over my authority old friend." This had sounded so much like the old Mithos that Kratos had blinked. It was as if the ghost of his old ally had peaked out to say those words. "Here, you might as well enjoy your meal." Mithos then had handed him the stew bowl, save that instead of food it held solid ice. Startled Kratos dropped the bowl, and for one second the crystallized food fell to the earth. It then shattered into a thousand little pieces, and scattered around the room like frightened mice. When Kratos had turned to confront the half elf he found that Mithos was gone.

That morning the air was alive with angelic mana. Furious Kratos had followed the power to its source, and had found Mithos. With a gesture the half-elf had frozen Kratos' body, and turned him so that he could see the village. Then the head of Cruxis had cast another spell. Waters from the ocean had come surging forth, a tansumi born from mana and hate came into being, and it flattened the town. He was mercifully far enough away that he couldn't hear the screams, but then it had been before dawn after all. Not too many people had been awake long enough to scream.

"Never forget what you are Kratos. Never, or I'll do this again, and again, until you have the heart fit to be Death himself."

center /center

Derris Kharlan was much like that bowl of long ago food. It was so perfect, so realistic, but its heart was ice. Everything seemed steady, calm, perfect. Yet one flaw, one drop, and the rotted core would be revealed. He walked through the silver streets, passed walls of thinnest crystal without a glance. The soaring designs, which pulled the eye to heaven and its starry sky, meant nothing to him. With a slight grimace he called forth his wings, and walked along the hall of mirrors. He trailed blood behind him, but paid the droplets no heed. A few angels who just floated there took him in, than turned away. They hadn't been ordered to remember him, and after they thought of how disgusting it was that he bled, they would forget.

Age of lifeless beings, it was more like Age of Feathered Idiots.

A thin smile, more of a grimace, touched his face. And the king of the nation of feathered idiots was none other then Mithos himself. Anna would love the irony of that. He stepped off the edge of the walkway, and with a flick of his wings steered himself to the platform below the one he had stood on. The public information center's one computer was on, as it always was. With a sigh he considered his wings; considered sheathing them, then scratched that idea. Having his wings "in" in the City of Angels would draw more attention then him leaving them out.

It was time to get to work...

Blood and sand now covered his hands. In his left he held a cruxis crystal, and in his right he held the new Key Crest. Kratos stroked Anna's hair. The artificial sunlight which streamed into the room through a slot in the ceiling was Kratos' way of knowing that when Anna woke up she would at least be able to see. He would not allow his wife to wake up in the dark. He did not want her first reaction to him to be fear. The time had come, he knew it was as perfect as his skill would allow. With a sigh Kratos unbuttoned the front of Anna's tunic, and then placed the crest to her skin. There was a flash of silver light, it seemed as if he could see the skin grew around the symbol and neatly cover up most of the metal. After a few moments Kratos gave the metal a tug, one that if Anna was not asleep would have caused her agony. No response, no looseness, Noishe whined at his feet and Kratos paused a moment to give his "pet" a scritch.

Now came the dangerous part.

With the crest to her skin the loose crystal on Anna's throat would go wild. He would have to pull it out and place the new one in the crest simultaneously. If he didn't, she'd die.

It was the only way.

He moved as fast as he could. Pulled one crystal out and slid the other in its slot as fast as he could. For one long moment he looked at Anna, she had shuddered as the new crystal was put in. Then for one horrible moment her breathing stopped. Then, thank the higher powers, it started again. It was not the rythmatic breath of a comatose woman, but rather the breath of someone beginning to wake up. When she opened her eyes they were glazed, she yawned, and took him in. She stared with little comprehension of his black ringed eyes, his filthy tangled hair, his pale drawn face.

"You look like Hell." She whispered, then stretched and scooted over. "Come to bed, It'll... It'll be better in the morning."

Startled he sat on the corner of the bed, and she moaned. Wrapped her hand around his wrist and tugged. He allowed himself to be lead onto the bed. As he lay besides her she smiled at him, then wrapped her arms around him, tangled her fingers in his wings. Then she drew him to her, and snuggled in his open arms. He embraced her, and his wings, of there own accord wrapped around them both. A shield against all the world. In the silver-blue light of his mana signature he gazed at Anna, closed his eyes, and for the first time in a millennia fell asleep.


	9. plans for flight

Chapter 9

She sat across from him, alive, well, and in somewhat snippy humor. A bowl of soup, chicken soup, sat in front of her, it's scent filled the room, somewhat banished the cold world around her. The world she sat in now was made of ice and silver, moonbeams and star shards. It was beautiful, the carvings and view outside were magnificent. But she ached for her home, the world of browns, greens, were the stars didn't seem to intrude on ones dwelling place. She was restless and therefore she was snippy. A snippiness that did not bother her husband, for he shared her views. So she ate the soup, it tasted good, very good.

But then Kratos had a long time to learn how to cook, over four-thousand years.

She still could barely believe it. How he had sat her down and explained everything. There were two worlds, two worlds side by side, trying to devour each other. How her lover's oldest friends had made this insanity come to pass. And Martel, her Goddess, was little more then a half-elf woman. She had wept for Martel, had cried for her endless torment. She would have not wept in Kratos' presence could she have, for she wanted still to appear strong for him. He did not allow her outside, and her one attempt to slip out had almost been her last. The air had been cold, it numbed her lungs, she had staggered back into there home. He firmly carried her to their bed, and had waited until she was better to give her Hell over it.

As she swallowed another mouthful of soup Anna looked around the room. She sat at a wooden table, a chair of the same wood under her. It was soft, covered in what she presumed was silk. Because her parents never had enough money to by silk for themselves she wasn't too sure about the material. There were wooden planks under her feet, it served as the flooring in all the rooms save the bedroom. It seemed as if the house was divided into two parts. An opulent silver walled, crystal sheathed, maze, there were statues of pure marble, old tapestries of the Kharlan war. Those tapestries were the only spots of color, and in the star light that filled the palace half of the house bleached everything of color. She hated that part of his home, and he much to her surprise shared that hate.

"It isn't natural Anna, I despise it, but it is a reflection of what Mithos wants to see. So I give it to him. He does come here from time to time, and I always humor him by taking him through these rooms... He would be less pleased by the other half of my home I assure you." 

Yes, Mithos would have been disgusted with the other half, for it reflected life. There were a few Kharlan tapestries there, a few paintings, and a very few number of scrolls that were spread out on the wall. Images of forest, of mountain, and of ocean were abundant. There were even plants in Kratos' home, bits of green and red, for he favored roses, and had a small bush of them deep in his home. Anna had asked him why he didn't keep a garden, why he only had this one bush, and kept that bush inside. Kratos had sighed, and told her that if Mithos ever saw it he'd burn it to the ground. Mithos it seemed, totally controlled Kratos, not even allowing him to have his own life away from his duties. She hated Mithos for that.  
One day her wanderings had brought her to a small room. She thought it little more then a closet at first glance. The door had been left open and she had walked in, expecting to see Kratos in there. For it was not his way to just leave a room open unless he was in it. Symbols from an ancient religion were laid out in what looked like a miniature chapel, the alter was cleaned, well tended, and a candle had been left burning. This small chapel lay in the deepest room of the house, a dark secret place that no one but Kratos knew of. When Anna had confronted him about it he had been surprised. She had come to him as any of her sisters would have. Determined to make him convert to the real religion. He had snorted, and grimly reminded her of what she had prayed to. Of who she was aiding every time she asked for help. That had stopped her, killed the passion in her, and made a familiar nausea rise in her throat.

"Despite what Martel really is it seems as if her ethics are wise, are good, and the church does truly help other people."

"A dictator could make that same claim. I imagine all of them do."

That conversation left her disturbed, had shook her to her core. She needed to be alone, and sensing her mood Kratos gave her what privacy he could. Still it was hard, and it was lonly. Yet he could not help her, he had found his own answer in the ancient ways. She would not follow that path, for she did not agree with all of it's ways. Death, it came down to death. When one died it was said in the church of Martel that one went to the heavens, and joined one's family. In Kratos' faith there was a caste system. The evil went to Hell and the good fell into eternal slumber. Yet "evil" was dictated by social rank. He had shrugged off her accusations of being a hypocrite when she reminded him of his hate of the Tethe'allan caste system. He had told her, with no shame in his voice, that on some levels he was a hypocrite. But then weren't all humans?

She went to his little chapel often after that. She would study the pre-Martel religious talismans that hung on the walls. Once he found here there, and had told her of the ancient belief that the summon spirits were the voices of the one supreme God. That over time the spirits had lost contact with that God, had become human in manner and appearance, and now willingly consorted with humans. They controlled the weather, the seasons, each ran it's own little world, and all of those worlds inter-  
wove in the reality that Anna had once believed was ran by science. He worshiped those spirits, or rather the higher power they had once consorted with. He called out to it for guidance, for aid, when the situation got desperate enough. 

"You ask help from a deity who may or may not exist. Who's morals are so obscure that you can't comprehend them. You ask this being for help when you're in trouble?"

"That is faith Anna. We don't know, we will never know until our lives are over what is what. Anyone who assumes to know is a damned fool." 

She had laughed at his un-intentional irony, and after a moments thought he realized what he had just said. He smiled, one of his rare genuine smiles, then had sat besides her. Anna then had made a promise to herself, she would make Kratos smile a little more often. Perhaps with enough effort she could cajole a laugh out of him.

"I hope the food is good." Kratos leaned against a wall nearby, his eyes filled with worry. He always looked at her in worry these days. But whether it was from the fact she was far in her pregnancy, or some other reason, Anna couldn't tell. 

"Very, I was just thinking..." She made a slight gesture as if to capture her thoughts. Then she smiled at him, as always he looked confused. He would tilt his head to the side, and his untamed bangs would fall into his eyes. His eyes normally so well guarded would cloud, and his lips would twitch ever so slightly, in what was a distant smile. Things that confused Kratos kept him interested, brought out his humor, so long as the confusion was not deadly to someone he cared about. She had learned to be a little mysterious around him. It was one of the games she played with him. "Woman things I guess."

"Ahh," She could see the confusion leave his face, he then pulled his red-brown hair out of his eyes. "that is something I never will understand." 

"Not without a lot of pain I imagine."

He winced, and she laughed. The quiet of the world outside seemed insignificant when he was with her. They didn't even have to talk, nor touch, only see each other to find a bit of peace. They had lived in a strained peace ever since Anna had woken up in this city of stars. She had woken to him laying by her side. He had been asleep, never in her time with him had he slept. The closest she'd ever seen him was while he was meditating, and that sight was positively disturbing. He would sit, cross legged, and match his breath with his slow heart beat. His eyes would be open, but utterly empty, until they spied movement that is. Then he would find his feet, draw his blade, and attack. All without coming out of trance. Having seen that behavior from him in meditation she had lain by him for well over an hour after she was up. Nature had called, she had no choice but to get up. Kratos had grumbled, then had done something that had made her laugh. He had reached up, and put a pillow over his head. The gesture, so normal, from a man who was not...

"The damned sun's not up... It's not my time for Watch yet."

She had slipped away from his grasp. All the while he had muttered in his sleep about it being Yuan's turn. When she had come back from the chamber pot, he was fast asleep. The pillow was still resting on his head. Noishe, having heard it's master's voice slipped into the room. Both of them had stared at Kratos, then looked at each other. They both had to leave the room after that, or thier laughter would have woken up the Seraphim. Well Anna had laughed, Noishe made a strange whimpering sound that was vaguely like human laughter. When Kratos had come out of the room, his case of bed head had set Anna into another fit of laughter. Noishe had been beyond that, he had rolled on the floor, paws kicking at the sky.

She laughed at the memory, and Kratos rose an eyebrow at her. Annoyance was mixing with his humor whenever he did that.

"I'm sorry, it's just that... your hair still seems to be suffering from your nap." 

"What has it been three weeks?" Kratos walked to the table and sat across from her. "Time just seems so meaningless here." There was a seriousness to his banter, and when he met her eyes she understood. Time was running out, in a world that had no way to gauge time accurately time was running down to nothing. She remembered him telling her of a fit she had, of her passing out, that would explain the few holes in her memory. He had told her that the strange piece of metal in her chest was the only thing keeping her awake and alive. His story about why she needed the crystal and metal crest had been blood chilling. Without it she would die, and her very soul would be absorbed by the rock.

"That would leave a little less then a month. You did research and made the crest in what.. a week?"

"A little longer then that I think, I wasn't exactly coherent for all of it..."

Noishe whined, and looked as uncomfortable as Kratos.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing... it's not important. Anna, as much as I wish it were, this place is not safe. Mitho- Yggdrasil has been putting pressure on me to go back to Slyverant. He also wants me to go to Tethe'alla. To see if that chosen is the failure that Yuan claims he is. I don't dare leave you here alone. Mithos checks this place when I'm gone. There was an incident, I once had a elderly friend here with me. A guardsman from Palmacosta, he was dying and had requested that he die here away from the world that he had grown to dislike. He had been a member of an old Regeneration journey, one that failed. The horrors that racked Slyverant due to that failure... He fought them a long time, protected those he loved, and when at last he failed everyone and everything he once had he begged me to take him from the world. He knew what I was Anna, he was only one of the handful of the world who knew. Mithos was furious that I let another human on Derris Kharlan, even more so when he found out what that old man knew. The old man was so damn brave that Mithos allowed him to pick his death. He could have allowed me to kill him, he could have died at the hand of an old friend... But that stubborn old bastard... He refused to let me kill him, asked instead if he could challenge Mithos to a duel to the death..."

"He lost I take it..." Anna whispered, and to Kratos' shudder she took him in her arms. "At least he died how he wanted to. So many other people couldn't say that. And something tells me that no matter how much pain he suffered at Yggdrasil's hands he was spared a greater pain. He was spared the pain of watching his old friend suffer."

"I wont let him kill you Anna, I wont let him take one more life that is dear to me! But to do this... to do this means that we will have to leave Derris Kharlan. And when we leave all of Cruxis will be behind us."

For a long moment Anna held him. Then she let him go and pulled away. Her eyes were filled with something that Kratos could not read.

"Tell them."

"What!" Kratos stared at Anna as if she was mad. "He will... No Anna I-"

"Kratos Aurion think! If I were kept as your slave he'd understand why I was here. If you were to drop me off at a ranch, or pretend to do so..."   
"No Anna, that's too risky, and Mithos would force you to kill our child. There are poisons that do that sort of thing. And he knows about them Anna, he would not hesitate to make you take them." 

"Then spirit me out of here, to a place nearby, pretend to serve Mithos, then ask for leave. An extended leave, and then come back to me."

"I wont abandon you Anna, I swore... Wait a moment. The underground passages." A grin touched Kratos' face, a wolfish grin. "No one, not even Mithos knows that they still exist. As a matter of fact there aren't any monsters in them at all." He laughed, and sounded relieved. "My God it's so easy... We will keep you in the tunnels below the city. At least until your pregnancy is done. Then after our child is born we will escape to Tethe'alla. I will pretend to follow Mithos' orders, and he will think nothing of it that I walk around as a human to investigate. As a matter of fact we could wander around for years and Cruxis wouldn't give a damn because they'd think I was only gathering research for the upcoming Regeneration." Anna kissed her husband and Kratos drew her to him. "Anna the birth will not be easy on you, and the tunnels are a damp lightless place, it will not be comfortable, and I can not guarantee that I can be there when the time comes..."

"I know, and I accepted that the moment I knew I was with child. And it's a risk I accept. Your son's a fighter Kratos, he'll be fine."

"Son?" Kratos looked a bit surprised. "And how would you know?" 

"A mother's instincts Kratos." She held onto him tightly, then sighed. "Never doubt them."

"I'd never dream of it."


	10. Satisfaction

MoonCannon: I don't know either, I have gotten a few complaints that the story is too long, that might be the problem. shrugs who knows? Regardless thank you for reviewing all the chapters so far.

Navy Blue: "Knowing her, she's probably pulling her hair out looking for it" You are absolutely EVIL to do that to someone else... the thought's never crossed my mind, I never did that to someone else, or used that line in a simlar prank... or recomended that my friend watch all the skits at the Katz village to find the skit. Put's on hallo and attempts to appear innocent of the above

S. Darkness: That's more or less what I shot for, I was kind of disatisfied with all of the other KratosxAnna fics because they were more or less the same. Also this is my first fiction (original or fan)even detailing an adult relationship(normally I write non-human, child,or"destined to remain single" adultperspective)so I guess you can say this whole peice is an experiment for me.

Tetra Slash: A new reviewer! gasp You have a lot of questions, I'll do my best to answer them. For how I got to be "this good" I have been teaching myself how to write creative pieces since I was about thirteen(might have been fourteen). I kind of put myself through a creative writingboot camp, I basically forced myself to write day in and out until I could almost automatically write like I do now. looks off to side and coughs You caught me red handed it seems. Most of these chapters are already postedsomewhere else, or rather the rough-draft versions are. Trust me, you don't want to see the originals, I didn't even use spell checkon them!These chapters arespell, typo,andgrammer checked, I also changed the wording here and there to helpreaders understand what I'm saying a little bit better... In regards to time no one's ever asked me about this before :) It takes me an hour (on a good day) to four hours(really bad several days) to write a chapter RD format. I then have to use spell check, because half ofa chapter would have those annoying red squiggles that MSword loves to pepper my writing with. Spell check takes an hour at the very least (deppressing huh?), and grammer checknormaly takes the same amount of time because I'm pawing through old English notesdouble checkinggrammer rules and the like.Then add in thefact I have to occasionally plug in TOS to double check spellingof areas or scan the synopsiss for inspiration... A new chapter for this fictakes on averagefour to five hours toget fully done (one to four days depending on my schedule andenergy) an oldedited chapter takes abouttwo hours to clean up.

Satisfaction

Chapter 10

"Kratos, is something the matter?" Yuan hissed, giving his fellow Seraphim a nudge. Yggdrasil was going over the extensive report on the Slyverant Chosen's parents, the only thing that moved were his crystal blue eyes. Yggdrasil was as gone from them as any man could be, totally absorbed in the paper work that was the joint efforts of Kratos and Yuan's travels. Yuan had noticed Kratos' distracted manner, had noticed the strain around his old friend's eyes. No longer trapped in his mental abyss, Yuan was his sharp self, and a danger. Once Kratos would have signaled that all was well, or had indicated that he would talk to Yuan after the meeting. He did neither, and after a few more attempts to get his attention the younger half-elf gave up. Mentally Kratos sighed with relief, had Yuan shown farther interest all of the ex-human's plans may have to been destroyed. He would have been forced to... He stopped that thought, mentally ordered himself to not think about anything beyond the meeting. Yet it was so damned hard to do so, the ring on his left hand throbbed, a silent alarm that he had given Anna to use for only one reason. Had it been the right hand that throbbed he would have had to leave the room. Find some excuse, or give them none at all, for that would have meant Anna was in immediate danger. That would have meant Anna was dying. Every night, since he had "disposed" of his human slave Kratos had been absent from Derris Kharlan. He had been sneaking out when guard was at it's laxest. Had any asked he was visiting the information network, researching ex-spheres and human ranches. Studying the recent history of both worlds, memorizing everything that seemed significant and insignificant. And indeed he was doing that, he was making holographic copies and taking them with him to someplace away from Yggdrasil and Yuan to study them. He just wasn't alone in his study hole, that's all. Anna had proven to be a eager student, fascinated by most of what he brought her, she had been so interested in the ancient histories that Kratos had left her a copy of his books to pass the time in her hiding place. He wished he could do more, but he didn't dare. Any prolonged absence from him would have roused all of Yuan's worst instincts. And he'd have to explain to the other Seraphim why there was a pregnant woman hidden in the underground frame work of Derris Kharlan.

Damn it all to bloody hell, his work wasn't that extensive! He'd filled out all of Yggdrasil's wishes, he'd studied the Chosen's home, interviewed all of the prisoners in Forcystus' camp. He'd done everything he could think of, written it in his own hand, wasted hours on the papers that Yggdrasil now pawed through. Pages and pages of tragedy lay before the head of Cruxis, couldn't the man show a drop of emotion! Even Yuan had blanched when Kratos had read the opening paragraph that detailed the torment and death of the Slyverant Chosen's father. Before he was halfway through with the third page Yggdrasil had snatched the papers from his second in command's hand and began to read them himself. He was annoyed with the slow and steady pace of Kratos' voice it seemed, but when Yuan had started to read his own report the same thing had happened. Now both men sat at the triangle shaped table, looking at Yggdrasil and each lost in his own thoughts.

Then the ring had started to throb.

And all coherent thought went out of Kratos' head for a moment. Emotion rose in him, so strong he could barely keep it off his face. He banished the thoughts, the joy, from his soul, and put on his mask of indifference. He then prayed that neither of his "allies" had noticed. Unfortunately Yuan had, and was staring at Kratos in open curiosity. Finally, after going through at least ten pages Yggdrasil became aware of the silent drama unfolding before him. The white robed man put the papers down, and Kratos felt his soul shrivel inside of him.

"Gentlemen, is there a problem?"

"No Mi-" Yuan began, a gesture from the head of Cruxis made him stop mid word. For a long moment he sat there, then silently mouthed a few words that didn't look like compliments towards Mithos.

"You are to address me by my formal title when this table is in session."

Kratos coughed into a hand, an old gesture that meant he was trying not to laugh. Had Yggdrasil even been a shade of himself he would have noticed. As it was he glared at Kratos, muttered something about mortal foolishness, then went back to his reading. Yuan mouthed something about Mithos being an ass and Kratos allowed himself a slight smile. Yuan winked, and when Yggdrasil glared at them over his screen of papers both men were composed and stood in attention. Again when Yggdrasil went back to his reading Yuan went back to saying silent profanities, then unexpectedly the spell ran out. Yggdrasil snapped his eyes off of the papers, and shot a glare that could have murdered.

"Sorry my Lord Yggdrasil.. I was ahh..."

"There was a section on bar songs in Yuan's report, I was merely asking him one of the verses. If I am to travel Tethe'alla and linger in the lower levels of society as it's Chosen does, I must after all be able to blend in. Your spell and the timing seemed right My Lord. Since we serve no real purpose being here right now, and that part of the report I had yet to read..."

"Remind me again gentlemen, what purpose have you ever served me, I have forgotten just now."

"We are your spies, your allies, and if you may recall it was I who discovered the secret of the ex-  
sphere mutation." Yuan snorted, and only Kratos noticed the faint sheen of sweat on the Cruxis member's hands, the slightly higher pitch that bellied Yuan's fear.

"But that was in the past Yuan, what purpose do you serve me now?"

"Martel," Kratos snarled. Both men turned to him, Yggdrasil's soulless eyes flickered malice born mana. "He is a link to Martel, and as much as you hate the fact, he is Martel's husband. In the end it may be his presence that breaks her soul from the ex-sphere induced hibernation she endures. I also imagine that she would be very angry if she were to wake up and learn her husband was dead. Much less by the hand of her little brother."

"You... have a point Kratos. A very good one. I apologize Yuan." The boyish smile that took Yggdrasil's face might have been called charming. Save it was on the face of a man who appeared to be in his twenties. And the eyes, it never touched those sky blue eyes. "Forgive me for my manner Yuan, it has been a trying time."  
"Of course Mi-" Kratos shook his head ever so slightly and Yuan winced. "My Lord Yggdrasil."

"Now then, I have a few questions on your report Kratos. Why this emphasis on the human's family? We normally don't need this much." Yggdrasil waved the papers as if in accusation.

"Considering my lord, that I would be escorting this one, I made my studies to reflect what I dubbed as useful and important."

Yuan stopped breathing, for what Kratos said came very close to open defiance. To question Yggdrasil's judgement on what was right and what was wrong... If one wanted one could even take that a step farther and question the sanity of all they were doing. For a long moment Yggdrasil looked at him, his power god-like amongst a society of self-made gods. All that power now seemed to crackle around the room. With a flick of his wrist Yggdrasil could make Kratos cease to exist, yet the once human man looked to his leader with no fear in his eyes. It was as if something had ripped all the fear from him. It was as if there was something greater to him then his life, and that cause made him stronger then Mithos.

"Interesting, again you try my patience... and yet you do so in a way that aids me. Twice in one decade too."

"I strive but to remain forever useful to you my Lord."

"I could do without the sarcasm Kratos."

Yuan merely sat, silent, and in awe of his old friend's bravo. No one, not even Yuan, would have come so close to insulting Mithos, then have Mithos acknowledge the insult, and then be spared. Something was new in Kratos, some hidden steel that made him resistant to the fear Mithos inspired. For a moment he was jealous, he would have been a liar to admit other wise. Then deep inside of him a spark of hope flared for what seemed to be a hopeless cause. If only he could get the other Seraphim to... Yuan banished the thought as Yggdrasil turned from his brooding to talk to Kratos.

"Something is on you mind Kratos, and I will have it before I dismiss you from my presence."

"Noishe, my lord."

"Noishe? You... ah yes you did keep him didn't you, I had all but forgotten." There was for a second a hunger in Mithos' eyes. "Of all the times you have defied me Kratos that was the one matter in which I have no regrets. Now then, what about Noishe?"

"I was thinking of taking him to Flanoir my Lord, he looks as if he has become ill."

"Truly?" Now Mithos sounded concerned. The butchering of a thousand meant nothing, but the animal... Yuan mentally snarled, the old hate fast in rising. He masked it though, and he hoped he did a better job of masking it then Kratos did of his strange euphoria. "If he requires healing..."

"I have already tried that my lord, it may be that he only requires a bit of time away from here. For some reason he grows melancholy if he stays here for a month or two without seeing the earth."

"So then, you will be taking Noishe with you..." There was a hint in Mithos' voice, a hint of hope that Kratos might reconsider. Even after four thousand years he still was after the animal! Yuan seethed, and while his mask more or less held, it broke just the smallest bit. Fire flashed over ice, and then nothing but the fire remained. Yuan stood, the breech in protocol made Mithos frown, and a flicker of fear was in Kratos' eyes.

"My lord, I have need to return to my camp. Kratos isn't the only one who's been having to put down riots."

"And I must return to Noishe, and make him fit for leaving Derris Kharlan."

Yggdrasil snapped his gaze from one man to the other. As if sensing some conspiracy between them. With a gesture Yggdrasil dismissed them, then went back to his reading. Despite Yggdrasil's outer appearance of distraction neither Seraphim relaxed until they were in the hall and walking away from there "lord's" meeting room. They walked on crimson carpet, through a maze of empty rooms. They passed priceless paintings and ancient family crests without a glance. All they wanted was to get out of Mithos' hellish castle. Sheathed in white marble on the outside, the inside was black onyx and crystal, stone gargoyles and angels glared at them as they made for the teleportation pad. Neither said a word until after they reappeared back in the main city and were a goodly way on the glass walk way.

"My God, that was close old friend." Yuan allowed himself a shaky laugh. "For both of us this time. Why does it seem as if Yggdrasil has lost every scrap of humor in him."

"Probably your attempts at being humorous and witty have made him shun all forms of humor for the sake of some peace. After a few centuries of it I have turned into a rather humorless soul, if you have failed to notice."

"Not I Kratos." Yuan dropped his banter and really looked at his fellow Seraphim. "You look like hell, you know that? And there is something strange about you. Mithos may not have noticed, but I have. Is something bothering you?"

"It is nothing... Now what in Hell is bothering you? You never act like this, unless you have something to ask but are leery of asking."

"You never forget anything do you?"

"I don't have time for this Yuan, just send me a report about it, I'll get to it sometime this century."

Seeing his ally walk off, the one man he had hoped to have join in his conspiracy, Yuan muttered an oath in elvish. He was on his own it seemed. Well not totally, once the child Botta was back on his feet Yuan'd have someone else in his service. That one was turning out to be quite the warrior, and he already had experience fighting one of Mithos' best. He also had a very strong hatred against Kratos, which was a wonderful touch all in itself. After all, if things turned out to be a failure Yuan could always try again. There was no guarantee that this time was going to be the time that Martel's vessel was found, but there was no guarantee that this one would be a failure either.

"Kratos! I want my Reiard back when your done with this mission."

Kratos had turned to him, then away from him. His face had a flicker of something. Yes, Kratos had his secrets, and Yuan would find out all he could. Secrets were useful things in the right hands. And if he could get an edge on Kratos, just a sliver of leverage, some minuscule control... He'd be better off then Mithos, and that said much.

He came into what he thought was his wife's death bed. He would have flown down the stairs had there been enough room for his wings, because there wasn't he settled for taking them three at a time. The door had been left open, just a crack, and at the brink he listened. There was no screams, no sounds of child birthing, only the sound of two people drawing breath. Two people! Kratos opened the door as quietly as he could, and came to the sight of his bloodied Wife and Son. She was asleep, and her... no their son lay in her arms. Seeing him the child made a sound, and Anna's eyes fluttered open. She was barely coherent, hardly awake, and so pale, and frightened. At least she was until she recognized him.

"Anna," Kratos whispered, he took in her bloody abdomen and was relieved to see that the blood was not all that fresh. Her birthing wound was not bleeding anymore. "Nothing's the matter, I just brought Noishe with me. He gave me hell when I tried to keep him away from here." Anna smiled, but her tired face worried Kratos. He was totally out of his depth here, he knew nothing of the natural process' of women, how long say it was going to take her to recover.

"Don't go again, please..." It was little more then a horse whisper.

"Do not worry, I wont leave you." He came to her and damn the blood, he would hold his wife. "Never."

His son made a grumpy noise that indicated he was hungry. He didn't exactly cry so to say, but made a whimpering noise.

"Lloyd's hungry," She smiled, and Kratos looked at wonder at his son that lay in her arms. "You don't mind the name do you? We never could agree on a boys name you know, and here I went behind your back and named him anyways."

"Lloyd is a wonderful name Anna. It even means something in the angelic language." She could only look at him and express her curiosity with her eyes. Her voice, it seemed, had abandoned her. "It means "Star Balde" _Llo_ is star, and _oyden_ is blade."

"He doesn't have that funny "en" sound at the end of his name though." She closed her eyes as Lloyd ate, a contented smile on her face. "Not that it matters... So long as you like it."

"Anything you pick would have been infinitently better then my choice Anna. When he is done eating you need to get to sleep."  
"But what about you... Cruxis..."

"Everything is alright Anna, we'll talk about it later." Lloyd whimpered a little bit when Anna handed him to Kratos. But soon was content to snuggle in his fathers white tunic. "For once," he whispered to his now sleeping wife. "in my life, I am content. For once, I have a shard of peace. I have everything I could dream of. You have given this to me Anna, you have completed me, as have you." He whispered to his son. Lloyd only yawned, and fell asleep in his fathers arms. Noishe came to him then, he had lingered in the back of the room. At the protozoan's soft whine Kratos sank to his knees and allowed his oldest friend to look at his boy. There was an awkward moment, where the protozoan looked back and forth from father to son, then after a moment sniffed the youngest member of the Aurion bloodline. The "dog" adverted his face and sneezed. Kratos only laughed, and Noishe wagged his tail. With his son in his hands, and his "pet" behind him, Kratos sank to the metal floor by his wife's slumbering form. Noishe lay down then by Anna and looked at him with questioning eyes. "It's alright Noishe, everything's going to be fine."

And for the first time in what felt to be eternity Kratos believed those words.


	11. preperations for a ball

_To all reviewers_: (I'm lazy so I'm answering everyone in one paragraph) No it's not over, this is the 1/4th point in RD version of the fic! So it's just started. I appologize for the ill formating in the previous chapter, I edited it but somehow it reverted to the RD format when I submited it here... Now I have3 thingsto ask of any reading this...

First off, is anyone familer with how to indicate a perspectice or scene change? Normally I would just press and hold"shift" and then taptheeighton the keyboarda few times, but when I do that it never comes through onto the fic.

Second, is there someway to edit a chapter without having to replace the whole thing? It's hard to submit here because I have to save a piece onthe computer and bring it up,is there a way around this?

Third, later today I'm going to be tossing up asectionof a new fic I'm working on titiles"Shards of Regerneration", basically it's a run through of the game with varing perspectives and a generous application of artistic lisence. I'm going to put up a section that I have applied "artistic lisencse"I'd like to know if it's any good, if you guys like it I'llmake a more pernament spot for it on this website. It'sgoing to be big undertaking, but I'd like to know if it will be enjoyed by the readers I have here before I go through the pains of putting it up. If you read it(andI feel it goes over well)don't be too surprised to see the chapter I put up today dissapear for a bit, I'll re-submit it after I get back to that point in thestory,the sampleis going to take place a little bit deeper in then where the fic origanal starts. Basically it's the "worst" section so far, by worst I mean the most different from events that occure in the game.(winces) We'll see howthat goes.

With no farther adue chapter 11!

Chapter 11

"He's crying again." Anna muttered into her pillow. "I know this is normal, I knew this was coming... But I didn't know how tiring it was. Mom always told me this would be bad. That she'd get even with me for every tomboy impulse I had when I was growing up. That my first born would put me through all the sleepless nights and aggravation that I put her through..."

Anna still lay on her mess of blankets and pillows, though she talked to him her voice was still muffled by the pillow. She had yet to lift her head. Kratos looked at her in worry, she normally would have dredged up the energy by now to get to her feet. As it was she was almost ready to fall back asleep.

"I'll deal with it dear, go back to bed."

"But I can't Kratos!" She stretched out his name and the sentence ended in a whine. "I can't sleep while he's awake! It's not right!" He left his place where he had leaned against the steel wall. He had been there a motionless guardian over her sleep, for at least three hours. A whine from Lloyd's room made Kratos sigh. Even the protozoan wasn't sleeping, the only person not suffering from there sons wails was Kratos. Well he wasn't suffering from lack of sleep, so much as a constant headache. "Kratos... Kratos was I whining a while back?"

Snapped out of his thoughts the seraphim only looked to Anna in surprise. She was trying to get to her feet, at Kratos' scowl she froze somewhere between siting and standing.

"A little, you've deserved a little whine though. More then a little really... Go back to bed Anna, if he's hungry I will make him some of that powdered milk... Noishe can check the temperature for me."

At his sad tone, Anna sighed. Kratos rarely ate, even more rarely slept, but every once in a while he could eat and sleep. He would never feel heat, not even the scalding desert had touched him. She had once flippantly told him that it must be nice to not feel the heat, and now she lived in regret of those words. Kratos could never test the temperature of his son's milk, could not tell a fever from a cold, he was totally oblivious to any really subtle change in there son that could mark a coming disaster. In that she suffered a greater lack of sleep then her mother had, because with almost every wail she had to get up. Yet her lack of sleep was nothing compared to the torture in her husbands eyes as he watched her do what he could not.

"I'm.. I should come..."

"If he is not hungry, and his diaper doesn't need to be changed, I'll bring him to you. Anna you need to get some rest, you are worn down to a thread."

"I'm fine..."

"No you are not, stop arguing with me and lay down." The throbbing behind his eyes worsened, and Kratos rubbed at his temple. "Please Anna, you can't afford to get sick. I can not heal you with Lloyd about, nor can I tend our son without you."

"Alright..." He smiled, a worn smile, but one none the less. "I'm turning in, just.. wake me if there's something wrong..." It seemed strange how the world blurred a bit around the edges. How everything was tinged with a silver blue light. She moved to speak, to warn, but her body felt numb. She went limp, and the last sight she had before falling asleep was Kratos' calm brown eyes.

"I hate doing this Anna." The seraphim whispered to his comatose wife. "but you have to sleep. I can't keep forcing you to do this, or you will wind up like me, unable to ever truly sleep. But for now, for now I have no choice." he gently lowered her into her nest of blankets and pillows. He paused after throwing the blanket over her to kiss her brow. "If you ever figure out what I have been doing you would kill me I imagine." Kratos stroked Anna's face, then pulled away. After all his son was crying, and despite Yggdrasil's efforts to make him into a soulless monster he was a far cry from that.

"Aye Lloyd, I'm coming!" A relieved bark from the boy's room told Kratos that if his son didn't understand, his son's keeper most certainly did.

"Kratos, do you remember last night.. err well I think it was last night..."

Kratos looked up from the miniature stove he had brought down here with him. Anna's breakfast, an omelet with some greens mixed in, was cooking. Lloyd, having already eaten, was quietly calling Noishe. At least that's what Kratos assumed the nonsense noises his son was making were meant to be. He cocked his head to the side, and Anna's curious gaze turned accusing.

"Don't even try to say "last night, I don't remember last night. Whatever are you talking about" ! You look guilty, something happened last night! Now what was it?"

"Noth-"

"And don't even try the "nothing dear" route, it's not going to work."

"I ummm you were having a nightmare so I... I used magic to make you sleep."

"Whenever you "umm" like that that means that you're lieing. Kratos! What kind of example do you want to set for your son? Do you want him to be a liar?"

"I was wondering, when do you plan on leaving. We can not live her indefinitely, although I will admit it is safer here then it is in say Slyverant."

"You just changed subjects!"

"Why yes dear, I did." His lips twitched as she continued to glare at him. "This is serious Anna, I wish to know where you want to raise our son. Here it is safe..."  
"No, not here, I don't like the idea of some fat angel walking above us and falling through the ceiling."

He smiled at the image. There weren't any fat angels though, there was nothing even resembling ugliness in Derris Kharlan. Everything was perfect, the perfection of the funeral pyre before the torch was put down. Everything looked flawless, and that was to appease those who looked at the city. Again Kratos wondered who Mithos was really trying to impress, his sister or himself.

"Don't worry, there is a very thick layer of steel and supports between us and them. I doubt that the fattest of Angels could fall through the roof."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"I would not dream of it Anna." Kratos looked at the omelet, it was more or less cooked on one side, so he just turned it over and watched the other half turn golden. "Looks like breakfast is almost done."

"Are you going to eat today Kratos?" She sounded so sad, whenever she ate he was aware of her sadness. Again Anna wept for him, but not on the outside. He could count the number of times on one hand that she had broke enough to cry on his shoulder. She wept on the inside. Horrid strangled tears that never fell from her eyes, but turned her voice into the softest of whispers. Those tears sometimes would gleam in her eyes, a bottomless pool of grief that threatened to drown him.

When those tears were in her eyes he had to look away.

"Maybe, we will see Anna... But what I was thinking about was Tethe'alla... It's pleasant there, though there are several forms of technology you have not seen since you lived in Slyverant for most of your life. I can walk you through everything though, I am a bit of an expert with machines."

"Match-ins?" Anna cocked her head, an unconscious mimic of her husbands habit. "Kratos, what is a mach-tin?"

"You..." Kratos coughed. "Certainly Slyverant is advanced enough to know what a..." Anna continued to meet his gaze, her eyes empty of understanding. "Oh God, this is going to be a very long trip."

The scent of burning food made Kratos turn. The omelet, he was just barely able to save it. Anna ate it without complaint, well at least managed to eat the first bite before Noishe came up and finished it for her in one snap of his jaws. Anna fell onto Noishe with a vengeance and Kratos sighed and muttered to himself. As Anna continued to scold Noishe, the seraphim took advantage of the distraction to toss together the ingredients for another omelet. All the while his mind running around in circles so that he could think of a way to explain to Anna about Tethe'alla without stepping on his wife's increasingly frayed nerves.  
Anna posed in the mirror. Preened. And took what felt like hours to fuss with her hair and new Tethe'allan dress. At least this time she seemed satisfied with the clothing, and they weren't going to have a fight over it like in Triet. As Kratos held Lloyd in the next room he sighed. His son's hair was turning out to be his mothers rich brown, well at least that's what the fuzz that served as his sons hair was looking like.

"No offense but I am glad you are a boy, another girl in this family would be torture."

Lloyd only made a happy sound, and tugged on his father's sleeve. He was fond of that, tugging. He also was showing signs of crawling soon, and of being adventerous. Still less then a year old Lloyd looked around the room and a tug would tell Kratos what his son wanted to look at. Lloyd never seemed to grow weary of tugging, as Kratos' ever throbing scalp knew all too well. With a squell Lloyd tugged, and Kratos sighed and turned.

It seemed as if Noishe had come back from his wanderings. He was a very bad influence on Lloyd, allowing the boy on his back and basically walking Lloyd when Kratos' skull had had enough. Now everytime he saw Noishe, Lloyd wanted a ride. At the rate things were going his son would never walk. Anna had laughed off his fears as being silly, Kratos not knowing weather it was silly or not kept his peace, but he also kept Lloyd and Noishe's walks to a minimum.

"Ga!" Lloyd was reaching out for Noishe, the protozoan met it's master's eyes and, seeing the silent "no" in them, sat.

"Alright, I think I've made up my mind. I've picked something formal and something non-formal!"

"Good dear." Kratos called to the dressing room. To his son he grumbled. "Finally." he rolled his eyes and Lloyd giggled. "Have I ever told you how happy I am you are a boy? Ever? Only the higher powers know the depth of my joy that you are a- Anna!" he smiled, as his wife came through the door. She had picked to come out in her "formal dress" and the effect on her husband was everything she could have wanted. Kratos' mouth hanged open and no amount of will could get him to close it. He couldn't even form a coherent sentence for the longest of moments.

"So how do I look?"

"I.. It looks wonderful on you... but isn't it a tad.. Revealing around the..." She laughed, and the crimson gown's thousand and one beads shimmered. Kratos ordered himself to breath, ordered himself to think beyond how the dress clung to her frame. It was hard though, very, very, hard.

"So shy Ruian." They had agreed on his old false name before leaving Derris Kharlan those many months ago. "We are married after all, I never expected such shyness from you. I guess it will make an impact when I wear it in public."

Kratos felt his face turn red. The idea of Anna in that, in public! But then she would cut a striking figure next to him as he wore his formal black mercenary garb. No man would dare lay a hand on her while he was by her side in his formals. Black long sleeve tunic with black pants, three belts slung along his waist. A knife in two and his long sword hooked to the thickest of the leather straps. As for armor he wore none, but his shirt was pressed close enough to his frame that you could see how powerful he was. His cloak, when he put the thing on tonight, would be deepest blue, with a touch of fur around the edges. Anna would also wear a fur trimmed cloak, though it would be shorter, and a rich crimson.

Together wrapped in finery they were to go out and work for Cruxis, to spy on the Chosen of Tethe'alla. It was only chance that this Chosen was well off and that he loved balls. Having heard that bit of information Anna had manipulated Kratos into taking her with him. Her arguments did have a few valid points, a man by himself in a "womans" event would rouse attention after all, but he was not so oblivious to woman as to miss the fact that to her this was an excuse to dress up. She had _"volunteered"_ to come along, had volunteered to be his "cover".

What else could he have done in the face of such a selfless offer but to accept?

Lloyd was going to be left at a friend of Kratos' a dwarf by the name of Altessa. It would be there first night that they were not going to be by his side. In a way Kratos was relieved, and in several he felt guilty. He should love his son enough to stay by his side day and night. His throbbing skull though really wanted a one night break, and Anna had said much the same thing. He felt less guilty knowing that he was not alone in his urge to just be "away" for one evening.

"Mr. Ruian," Anna smiled at him. "You look particularly striking today. You should dress up like this more often."

Kratos, Lloyd still in hand, the other hovering over his sword turned to the nearest body length mirror. He looked at himself for a long moment and nearly laughed. It seemed so silly to have his hair slicked back and not in his eyes, to wear such formal rigamore. But it made Anna so happy...

"I'll think about it."

"Still as snippy as ever." She still smiled, then kissed him on the lips, and ruffled Lloyd's hair. She then ghosted out of the room, and went to try the gowns effects on the shopkeeper and get him to lower the price. Still holding there son Kratos stared at Anna for a long moment.

"I think I will never understand women." Lloyd giggled and Noishe barked. Kratos sighed then gave into his son's squrims and let him have a Noshy Ride. "If you ever figure it out enlighten me Son." His boy only held on Noishe as the protozoan walked around in a slow circle.


	12. A dance

Some warnings to my readers:

1) KratosxAnna implied/almost coupling... I do not mean that in the "fluff" sense. So the ranking for this chapter kind of borders somewhere between Teen and Mature.

2) I do not know how old Zelos is in the game, the tweaking I put in this chapter would make him in his mid twenties when the game starts. I'm sorry if it annoys "Tales"purists/experts but I like this chapter so it's going up.

Chapter 12

The Ball

He hated to admit it, but Yuan was right. Right on every charge. Thought no older then twelve the Tethe'allan Chosen was a flirt. No, he was worse then a flirt, the _boy_ was a womanizer. Women flocked to him, and he played being charming and witty to his little gathering. While engaging in pure surface conversation the Chosen also was discreetly looking at bosoms, pinching assess, and setting appointments so he could "talk" to a few members of his flock later on. Much to the mercenary's disgust some woman took off their wedding bands and slid up to the child, as husbands looked on.

A small fight even broke out amongst two of the more passionate admirers, a fight that was resolved when the Chosen agreed to make appointments for them later that week

Men sighed over there lost women, grumbled about there treacherous wives. For a long time Kratos and Anna stood on the very outskirts of the party, identical grimaces on their faces.

"So this is Zelos Wilder, Tethe'alla's Chosen..." Kratos shook his head. "What a waste."

"He is a bit of an ass isn't he?"

Anna smiled as Kratos did not follow the example of a few other husbands who were keeping a tight grip on their wives. He held her hand, but his grip was gentle, relaxed. She smiled and leaned into him, and though his face was expressionless she could feel him tense. She reached around and adjusted his cloak, which he had carelessly put on lopsided in their rush to get to the ball early. Taking advantage of how close they were she pecked him on the cheek, and laughed delightedly as he flushed.

Her angel was as formal and modest as always.

He turned all the redder at her quiet laughter. Anna took pity on him and change topics to something that wouldn't leave him flustered.

"He's a Chosen? If so Tethe'alla is in for some bad times."

"I'm very glad I did not get assigned to watching this one..." He smiled just a bit, then regarded Zelos for a moment and the smile slid off of his lips. "Let us get this over with."

"After you're done you wouldn't mind to stay here a little while do you. Not too long of course, but well I'd like to see everything here."

"The art gallery, it might be worth taking a look at. I'll be back as soon as I'm done."

She laughed at his expression. It wasn't one of malice, so much as extreme disgust. Kratos sighed, then with the air of a man pulling a dagger out from a vile place, he walked forward.

All he had to do was read the boy's mana signature and ask a few questions to feel out the child's intelligence. When he was done with that he would go back to Anna. As he approached the mass of women, who were all wearing shades of green and blue, he heard some of the men snicker. Perhaps they thought him a fool who was going after his wandering wife, perhaps he did look the fool, he certainly felt it. Muttering a few polite words, and using a few nudges, he made it through the ocean of ladies and came to see the chosen with his own eyes.

Wild red hair slid around his skinny boyish shoulders. That mane of red gleamed in the candlelight. Something, a woman's ring, flashed as if caught in the light. The playful woman right behind the Chosen had set herself to weaving her digits through all that hair. Another woman lay at the child's feet, looking up at him in adore that a dog could have envied. The boy stood out in the sea of blues and greens that his flock wore. Like any good shepard he wore a white tunic, unlike the modest people who took that task he had silver embroidery stitched into his clothes. In all possibility that silver was real.

Like a cat, Tethe'alla's Chosen radiated smugness, his head tossed back so that he could better be petted. He all but purred as the two woman behind his little throne whispered endearments on him.

Then there was silence, a hush as the women who were practically worshiping the boy saw the Kratos. A frown touched those angelic features, and the green eyes slid open. With a slender hand the Chosen made a gesture, and one of the girls came to him, a glass of wine in her hand. The boy took the glass in his hand and lifted it to Kratos, his green eyes glittered with contempt.

"I say, who let this filthy commoner in here?" Blue and green clad ladies tittered at the Chosen's words, a few of the braver ones sneered at Kratos. Crimson wine shivered in it's crystal container as the boy who held it shook. The boy shook because unlike all the other men he had challenged, this one wasn't phased. This one gave him a look that held no fear. "Oh come now, if you aren't going to say something then leave. My dear, fetch a servant to show this spoil sport out."

_Spoil sport_...

Kratos grinned, it was his teeth only grin.

Despite his manly posing the Chosen was still a child.

"Chosen of Tethe'alla," Kratos bowed, and told himself killing the brat wouldn't keep him on Mithos' good side. "I am a messenger from the Church of Martel..."

"If this is about the Regeneration Journey tell the Pope I'm not going on it yet. The world seems to be doing real good for itself right now." The wine was gone from it's glass, all in one shot. Kratos had to admire the boy's stanima, he recognized that vintage, and a full glass of it would have rendered Kratos drunk. "Tell them that next time they shouldn't send a mercenary to do a _man's_ job."

Kratos felt his lip curl into a silent snarl. His hands ached to grip a sword, to run the brat through. Keeping hidden was the key though, this Chosen would swift forget a messenger from Martel's church, but he would be much slower to forget a man who drew a blade on him. Kratos managed another bow, and left, his mind so rage filled he could not get himself to read the mana signature.

All in all the attempt was a total failure.

"That bad huh?"

Startled Kratos hopped, Anna had gotten behind him some how... He had walked to the refreshment table had poured himself a glass of wine, and she had slipped up behind him while he had gone through the gestures of getting a drink. His sword was halfway out it's sheath before he could stop himself. So he stood there, glass in one hand, sword half out in the other, looking at his wife with a kind of helpless chagrin. Anna was only a few steps behind him, she regarded him with her head tilted to the side, it was almost funny to see her using one of his pet expressions. She didn't seem too surprised with his reaction, but after a long moment in which he seemed frozen Anna sighed. With a gentle hand she took the glass away from him, he sheathed his blade and coughed. People were staring at them, so much for remaining unnoticed.

"My Goddess Ruian, his brattiness must have ticked you off."

"It's worse then Yuan thinks. Much worse."

"I'm surprised he even talked to you at all, while you were busy I talked to the few men here. Normally all he does is talk to women, he normally has nothing to do with men. You were lucky to have spent as much time with him as you did."

She went to the table and poured herself the only non-alcoholic beverage on the table. The other party guests looked at her in shock, almost morally offended as she sipped on a glass of water. She absently snatched a lemon slice and forced it on the side of her cup. She considered her self made concoction, and satisfied took another sip. With a slight grimace she set it aside.

I never tasted anything that sour before..." She coughed. "Goddess what do they put in the ground here to make lemons taste that strong." She gathered her courage, took another sip, and then seeing it was as bad as before firmly pushed it away. "Did you get what you needed?"

"No," Kratos draped his arm over his wife, being oh so gentle he lead her away from the table. He drew her away from the marble sheathed tables where the other guests ate and loitered, he lead her to one of the more private corners in the ball room.

"I lost it. I couldn't even concentrate..." He growled, dropping the facade of calm he had worn up to this point. Anna nodded her head in understanding. She seemed to share his anger a little, though not it's intensity. She snuggled into his arms, and even though he was mad he noted that she smelled very nice.

"I understand, he doesn't even think of them like humans does he. They're just pets. I... saw a little of what's going on. But the press of people kept me from seeing everything. It's sad really, I've never seen a sadder person in my life."

"I really am not in the mood to sympathize with that little pervert." Kratos hissed. His hands were clenched and refused to unclench.

"He must be very lonely to live like that. And those woman must be very desperate, that or blind."

"Desperate? Anna these are the most wealthy woman in the whole of this world, how can they be desperate?"

"How little you know of women." Anna kissed him, her eyes were sad. "They were raised to be presentable, to get a husband, and to marry to another fortune. All to better their families, all to enhance their status. It's never for love. Someone who marries for love is a fool, that's what they've been raised to believe, and if they dare to marry for love they lose all status and money if their lucky... If they aren't then they are disowned. So they play this little game, throw themselves in the rules and niceties to the point they accept what they have been told is true. That's their life beloved, status, wealth, power, and that boy is playing them against each other for his amusement. He dangles love, passion, and status before them and snatches it back with a smile. After a while of that I think anyone would get desperate."

Kratos snorted, shook his head at the follies of humanity. It was times like this Mithos seemed to be right. The human race would destroy itself, or throw itself into such mass stupidity if not firmly herded in the right direction.

"Well at least I know that he's not suitable for the goal of the Regeneration. Mithos will be content now that he will have two reports instead of Yuan's one."

"Ruian..." Anna looked at him with such hope in her eyes it melted his icy thoughts and firmly banished the half-elf's poison from his heart. "let's go outside for a bit."

She took his hand, and he allowed himself to be lead from the opulent ball room. They walked outside, the rich green lawns were covered in a nights dew. She let go of his hand, walked into the moon touched false field, and smiled at her surroundings. She paid her new dress and shoes no heed, walked in the lawns, her eyes lost in an inner dream. He stood in the shadows of the building, as always his gaze slid around assessing the dangers around them. They were completely alone, the street that lead back into the heart of Meltokio was empty. From the partially open door light streamed past him, pushed the shadows onto each other and added to the gloom he stood in.

Anna knew that he did not follow, and she turned to him and beckoned in a imperious manner. The twitch of her lips ruined her _Tethe'alla Chosen_ impersonation. He stood for a bit longer in the shadows, and she stomped up to him and grabbed his hand. He allowed himself to be lead, for he felt as if he was in a trance. The moonlight hit the ground as they walked onto the lawns hand in hand. If hit it just right, and the dew seemed to be slivers of diamonds scattered over the earth. Music drifted to them from the open door, it seemed as if the dancing had begun inside.

In his minds eye he could see the Chosen shooing his ladies off of his lap, and his hungry green eyes roaming the dance floor for energetic partners. Part of him knew he should go back, complete his duty, then leave.

In his mortal eyes he saw Anna, her hand outstretched in silent entreaty.

He took Anna's hand, drew her close. Alone they danced in the lawn, the music a whisper from the window throbbed in his bones. There dance was slow, his ancient, her's a little dated. Still they made it work, though there was a moment or two where she stepped on his feet, and he on hers.

Instead of anger, or frustration, at his lapses Kratos found himself laughing. Anna laughed with him, rested her head on his shoulder with a quiet sound. He trembled as her scent filled him, and taking advantage between steps he moved to kiss her cheek. She squawked out in pain as he accidently stepped on her toes, she lightly kicked at his leg and he almost tripped on the dew covered grass. They had a good laugh over that, she teased him, called him a klutz, and when the music seemed right he gently took her hands in his and proved her wrong. They flowed from dance to dance, forging their own movements, somehow wielding their grossly different styles so that it worked. Once they found a semblance of grace the world seemed to drift away, and time held still while he held her.

Soon they could no longer hear the music, if it had it fallen silent or was merely absent to there ears didn't matter. They danced under the stars, the dew was a false field of stars at there feet. They danced to a song that they could hear in there hearts, then at last when Anna grew weary Kratos lay his cloak on the ground and she sat. Though he had no need for rest he joined her, and she smiled, leaned into him. Her breathing was a little forced, she was obviously winded from the exertion. Anna's leaning grew more pronounced, turned to snuggling, and he smiled at her. With a shaking hand he stroked her rich brown hair and succeeded in messing up the order that Anna had somehow forced on her normally wild hair.

She didn't seem to mind though, one hand playfully slid up the side of his face. She caressed the back of his neck, and then with a evil laugh she swept her hand up and his hair fell into his eyes.

"You muss up my hair I muss up yours!"

"Then we are even." Kratos chuckled, eyes closed as he savored just holding her. His grip tightened a little as she shivered. He cursed that his cloak lay beneath them, that he could not draw if around her shoulders.

"I'm just a bit cold." She whispered, as he drew his arms around her. "And since my cloak isn't practical... You'll just have to do."

"Of course." He bent his head and kissed her exposed neck. He could feel her heartbeat under his lips, feel it throb through him. "Whatever is practical." She laughed, leaned back as he kissed her yet again. With trembling hands he unfastened her thin cloak, it fell to the ground and pooled at his side. That disturbed him somewhat, but he forced himself not to think on it, every act of chance was not symbolism. Symbolism had no place here.

Anna's hand slid under his silk shirt, slid down his spine. An old pain began. But it was a sweet pain, a welcome pain. Pain spread across his back, he could feel his blood seep out from ancient wounds that re-opened. Her hands trembled, slid down and drew a pattern across his belly that tingled. Silver blue light ran the length and width of his shoulders, it was little more then light cast by the dying embers of a fire. She sighed, her hands went back to running across his back, even as he lovingly eased her down to the grass. Kratos closed his eyes, smelled her, the wet grass, he loved her. Loved her more then life itself, he ached to show that, to prove that. Perhaps he was talking, he wasn't too sure, but from somewhere he heard a voice whispering of love, it was so tender and soft, it could not have been his, he was certain...

His hands slid down, caressed her stomach. She shivered at his touch, her own grip slid down to the small of his back.

They were just mortals, though Yggdrasil had not wanted them to be. He was a mortal, and only had a mortal man's way of showing his love. But by the darkest of ironies, only ironic because it was unintentional, to show love he would have to shed his humanity. He stood at that point, that one last step before losing himself to his passion.

One last kiss... he had to take one last kiss before all sensation was lost, before the torment of his non-human existence was thrust on him.

Then her grip changed, grew painful, and that pain was in no way connected to pleasure.

He was jolted out of his trance as abruptly as if someone had doused him with water...

Warning, it was a warning, Anna was trying to warn him...

Kratos' eyes snapped open, old instincts came to life, and he threw himself on Anna. An arrow hissed by his ear, embedded itself on the ground less then an inch away. Kratos lifted his head up, and looked at where the arrow had come from. A man in Desian garb was running, and he was too far away to catch by conventual means. He shoved Anna off of him, drew a hissed breath of rage, and staggered to his feet. Mana flickered around his hands, but Anna dug her nails into his arms, pulled herself up, and he lost his grip on the power. She pushed her body close to his to hide the tell tale glow, her eyes darted back to the way they came. Something was wrong, he doused the light from his still sheathed wings, he prayed that whoever saw them could not destinguish the gentle light from say starlight.

Kratos turned, and saw the Chosen of Tethe'alla staring at him. A sneer was on the boys lips.

"For a man who thinks himself better then me he certainly doesn't act that way."

Anna firmly pushed him away. She found her feet, and though she was rumpled and dirty compared to the Tethe'allan Chosen she stood more magnificently then any queen.

"Don't ever compare yourself to my husband you little snot nosed brat."

"Ohh what a protective little hunnie you are! You certainly are cute, for a gutter witch that is."

Kratos snarled, moved to draw his sword. Mithos the farthest thought from his mind. Anna shot him a glare that made him back up. Then she smiled to the boy, smiled a venom filled smile. She walked across the lawn, walked straight up to Zelos, a dreamy look in her eyes. Kratos noticed how Anna's hands clenched, he kept that observation to himself and waited. He had a feeling how this was going to turn out, Anna could deal with this without his intervention.

Startled at the abrupt turn in her personality Zelos smiled and gave her a wink that humored his other hunnies. She only kept smiling, walked up to the boy and stopped only a few steps from him. With that smile on her face she slapped him, and the boy staggered back into the wall. Tears were running down his face.

"You.. you can't hurt me! I... I'm the Chosen."

Anna hit him again, and the boys legs almost buckled.

"I could kill you right now." Anna hissed, Kratos felt the hair on the back of his neck prick, Anna was a force to be reckoned with. "And I might if you don't listen to me."

A child, not the false man guise he wore, the Chosen sniffled and wiped at his eyes.

"What you are doing is ripping live apart. It might just seem fun and games, but it's not. You turn those people into slaves, you make them pets, and you forget they are people." Zelos, despite himself it seemed, was looking into Anna's eyes and listening. "What me and my husband do isn't what you do to them. We love each other, all this is, an expression of our love. What you do to them is use them, and rip them to pieces while you use them. And I swear by Martel if I ever see you again Mr. Wilder, and you are doing what you were doing back there, you'd best run. Because I can do worse then this. _I will_."

The tears had stopped, there was too much terror in those eyes to have tears in them. As the boy ran off Anna sighed, looked at her hand, and then turned to him. A sick look was on her face. It was the first time she had ever had to hurt someone before. He nodded his head in understanding, at the pain and horrid understanding that came after a threat had been made with force. It was all too easy. It was easy to get carried away, to kill instead of hurt. Anna now know one of the truths of a warrior, one of his truths, and she wept her silent tears as that truth came home. Picking up his cloak from the dewy earth Kratos went to his wife and lay it on her shoulders. He held her for a moment in a hug, then lifted her from the ground and carried her to the inn that served as there home.


	13. Heart's blood

Tetra-Slash: Easy.. breathe... yeah an hour, longer sometimes... Thanks for pointing out the sectoins that need fixing, I really am trying to get the paragraph size down to a beter chapter 12, some time passed between the chapters, I just didn't indicate it really well, I will fix that when I have the chance. And I couldn't find the paragraph you weretalking about... I will look more forit thought. Also, this sin't a race, take your time, enjoy the chapters, I'm in no rush you shouldn't be either.

MoonCanon: Glad you're enjoying it :)

ArchNavyBlue: Name change right? laughsI didn't know you could do that, most forum's I go to it's not allowed..Back to topic... writing the Noishe scenesis a little rough actually, since I don't own a dog. I kind of model Noishe off of my cats (minus the psychopath-ie-ness)so it's amazing that a "dog person" would fall for it. I must have some pretty wacky cats. Oh and about the "Girle Squeel", I imagine your going to be doing it a ton in chapter 15. One of the most anti openly expresive people (this guy could give Regal competition) I know actually squeaked and said Lloyd was cute in that chapter, so don't put money on that yet...

Serrated Darkness: (sorry if I miss spelled your pen-name...) I'm glad you enjoyed the supence/drama I was trying to cultivate in that chapter. As for how Lloyd defeats Mithos... well you'll find out when I get to it in (blantant self avertisement)Shards of Regeneration(/blantant self avertisement) Beautiful chapter blushes there's a first for you... hopefully you will find them all as enjoyable as the story presses on.

Chapter 13

Heart's Blood

"How do you live with it?" Anna whispered, she lay in his arms, so still and quiet, he had thought her asleep. "How do you keep sane?"

"Hmmm?" Kratos didn't want to open his eyes; he was content only to hold her, to listen to her voice. But she needed this answer. He could hear the need in her voice. "Live with what Anna?"

"The… The killing, what that monster Yggdra-"

"Shh Anna, you are not to say that name. If anyone hears you say it I can not protect you... We have been over this."

"Kratos!" Her voice was a whisper. "You have to answer me, please! I... I need to know."

"I'll tell you, but when I'm done I need to know why you want to know this." He felt her nod, felt her snuggle a little closer to him. They were back at the inn. Kratos had very carefully questioned the innkeeper, had shown a strange paranoia, and at Anna's questions to why that was Kratos had said nothing. She seemed relieved that he was again being open. A strange sadness had been troubling her, had almost consumed her after the ball. She had spoken to Altessa in a detached, almost mechanical manner, had remained silent at dinner, and had gone straight to bed. Not even Lloyd's cries had roused her from the strange sleep she had taken.

First Kratos had been worried for her health; he had hesitantly joined her after tending their son. She had grasped him, stubbornly held onto him, as if he was a lifeline. He had almost fallen into a panic. The moonlight had revealed Anna's tear streaked face. She had looked at him with wounded eyes. And to his questions she only hushed him, and drew him to the bed. She had held onto him in desperation, had clung to him with all her strength. Now after an hour had passed she was talking to him again. Her grip was now not so desperate, not so frantic. He sighed into her bare shoulder, considered all that had happened to him, that allowed him to kill with what she thought of as a causal air.

"Kratos, are you alright?"

She was concerned for him, at a time like this... He smiled into the silver highlighted darkness that was there room. With a sword calloused hand he tousled her hair, he could feel her relax. Even though he was a murder she still felt safe in his arms. He remembered once when they were in the Iselian Ranch how she had told him that his arms were the only safe place for her. That she had no home, no place to call her own. Save with him.

Then she had told him that though she loved being held he needed to loosen up a little, she couldn't breath.

"I'm fine Anna; I just have a lot on my mind. Despite what you think... it's all so horribly easy. There is a shock at first, a violation of the soul. That which is valued the most is the most fragile; a human life is so fragile... I learned that when I was twelve Anna, when my Father slashed my Mother's throat."

He felt her shudder, heard her whimper. He hated how his voice had no emotion in it. But he could not force himself to speak what he did not feel. He felt no more hate for his Father; he only felt a faint sadness for his Mother. In the end she had been spared living, watching her son become a monster.

"My father was insane. I guess it was a mix of too many years in the wars, too many years in the Humanification Camps."

Kratos closed his eyes, tried not to remember the 'camps' that held half elf and other none humans like so much cattle. The sights, the sounds of those places were still with him, and he heard them every time he stepped into a 'ranch'. While he had fallen far in his life time he had never sunk to the level of serving in one of those places like his father, he took comfort in that.

"He was drunk out of his mind when he murdered Mother. He always seemed to be drunk, at least while I was at home. I never saw him all that much, because I was too young to be a soldier I guess." He could feel Anna shudder. Droplets, neither hot nor cold, fell on his shoulder. Anna was silently crying. "We do not need to go on Anna, you do not have to know of this..." He moved a little so that she could see him, could see the agony in his eyes. "I wont hurt you Anna, not with the past."

"No," Anna shivered, forced a smile past the tears. "You aren't hurting me, I'm just sorry that you had to see that. If I could I'd go back, I'd change it, so that you wouldn't have been hurt... Your old pain, that causes me pain. But like you, I have to endure it."

"No Anna, it is not needful for you to..."

"Kratos, hush." She wormed a hand out from the mess of blankets that kept them shielded from the prying eye of the night. She caressed his face with that hand, and then placed a finger over his lips. "You are going to listen to me for once my love, and you are going to listen to me good." She blushed and stirred a bit with obvious discomfort. "When a man and woman come together it's not just the... physical. Such a flippant attitude towards love making is really looked down upon where I come from. It's tolerated, after all people do have urges, we know that and make exceptions, but still. When a man and women love each other in the... physical way... it isn't sport. It's not a game. Once you lay with someone that you have any feelings for, it binds your very souls together. Basically when you become one physically it bonds you to that person for the whole of your life."

"When the Desian's-"

"I didn't feel for them, not the men who raped me. I hated them, I wanted to kill them, and I came very close to it a time or two. So they don't count, it just... hurts. It hurts every time when I think about it... But I look at you, and I know that someday soon I'll be able to look back and not bleed. Someday, it won't hurt, and it doesn't hurt, not as bad as it used to." She tried to smile, but it failed, so she lowered her head into his shoulder. "I knew you'd never hurt me, and you haven't."

Two pin points above his shoulders began to ache, but Kratos firmly ordered himself not to allow that pain to spread. He smiled, or tried to. She looked at him, took in his pain, than an evil glint came into her eyes.

"Problems dear?" Her hand slid to those points of pain, and she applied just the slightest bit of preasure.

"Anna…" His teeth were clenched so tight they ached. "Enough, not tonight, it's not safe, the window..."

She snorted, and then stood pulled away from him. Kratos closed his eyes, ordered himself to exert some God damned discipline. She was angry at him, of course she would be. But he hadn't been lying. With the large window at the far side of the room, the curtains carelessly left open... He had felt strange enough going to bed with her like this; he had wanted to draw the curtains closed. She had firmly left it open. That; coupled with everything else that had happened and was said... He would be sharing the bed with no one tonight. His eyes snapped open as he heard the sound of fabric being rustled, the whisper of a cord being tied. Anna had closed the window, had walked across the room in the nude, and had closed the window that faced out on the main square of Tethe'alla's capital city Meltokio. He wrestled with that image; part of him screamed how wrong it was that Anna had done that, that it wasn't proper.

Another part of him wished he had opened his eyes a little sooner.

"Take the bed, I will..."

"Get back in bed, that's what you'll be doing Kratos!"

It was now so dark even his enhanced vision could make nothing out of the room. It would have been a trial to walk around the room, find the dresser, and then fumble out his clothes. Anna, he could hear her walking towards him. With a slight smile Kratos lay back down, and he knew that in the darkness Anna too smiled.

"You are such an innocent sometimes." The bed creaked as Anna sat down. "Now, you're going to explain." Though the tone was light there was a strained quality to her voice. He cursed the darkness that made it even harder to read her. "After your Mother's death what happened?"

"I killed my Father. I hated him for what he had just done, so I answered that hate with a knife. I was dubbed a murderer and chased out of the village. They would not listen, none of my friends. None of the neighbors who heard the fights, the sounds of my Father beating my Mother, they never came forward... I did not understand Anna, I did not know what I did wrong." He felt her shiver and drew her close. "After my exile was announced I was stoned out of town, one of the people set a dog on me."

He closed his eyes, in some dusty corner of his mind he could still taste his childhood fear, could still hear the dog baying at his heels. The few times he ever did dream, when he did nightmare, he heard the barking of that dog.

"All I had was a practice sword on my back, and only a handful of gald. I lived on the outskirts of the village for a few weeks, there were others like me. Other orphans, victims of fate, much like myself. If I recall properly there were even a few half-elves…

It was there I learned what I had done, I grew to understand death and hate from those children who wallowed in it. Ever since I was growing up there were horrible stories about brigands who killed merchants, mercenaries had been paid to come out and kill them yet they came back baffled. It wasn't brigands that were killing those merchants, but those children..."

Anna whimpered, even after four thousands years of life between him and those memories Kratos still got the chills thinking of the "pack" as they called themselves. Bound by desperation, and mutual hate to those that wronged them, the children and young adults of the fishing community were worse then brigands. They didn't kill for need, or even greed, they killed because they had grown to love it. It was the salve to there wounds, it filled the void where love had been. He remembered the leader of the "pack" the blooded boy of sixteen. The ratty blond hair, the sharp green eyes, he remembered the scars that slid down the boy's left eye, like a tear frozen to his skin. Kratos remembered that broad smile that was missing a few teeth, but what he mainly remembered was how that boys eyes had slid over him, and how the boy had smiled.

i You're right Ferith. This one has it, you can see it in his eyes. /i

"They found me, took me in. They offered a home, a family; they promised me I would never be alone again. I was desperate, I'd tried hunting and surviving by myself and I was dieing due to my failures. There was no other option, so I trusted them. They took me to there leader... I do not even think I ever heard his name... He was the leader of the Pack, he took me as his second, said I had what it took. I abandoned them after they trained me Anna. They beat me black and blue, barely fed me enough to keep me alive, and when I finally ran I had to kill their leader. I had to prove I was ready to go to the outside world, they called it a "blood edge", because the leader would bloody his blade killing those who wanted out."

He could fell Anna crying, he wanted to stop. But she whispered that he should continue that she was strong enough to take the rest of it.

"After I left I went to a town, Uthik, I found the mercenary group that had tried to find the brigands. I told them everything, of the red paths, the oaths, and I had enough proof on me and information at hand to basically hand the Pack over on a silver platter. This is exactly what I did. I went with them, I watched as they attacked the camps, and when they were done I asked them if I could join them. They were the Crimson Talon, and there leader was my mentor, he took me in, and taught me the ground work for swords-craft. He was at first disgusted with how free I was when it came to killing people, to how casually I took a life.

By the time I was thirteen I had probably killed more men then the rest of the company, they were horrified, they thought I was a demon. Before I turned fourteen he forced me to re-think how I viewed life and death, in the only way that would have affected me, he died. It wasn't immediate, it wasn't a clean death, and before he died I was able to bring him proof that the man who killed him was dead. He was shocked that a child would avenge his death, shocked and horrified. But unlike all my other companions he let me see that horror... He told me how I was doing what I was doing was wrong. A man should not kill so freely, that even as we take a life we must honor it. To take a life to protect another, to take it to defend your self, to take it to avenge the innocent, to right the most grievous of wrongs, that was right. I took life without thought, and that was wrong. Those were his last words, he turned from me, and he died. His code, that dieing man's code, is what I centered my... my professional life around.

That is how I deal with death, because I deal death with full thought, and full understanding of the consequences. It's a weight Anna, my sword is the heaviest thing in all the worlds, and yet I have to use it. I have to protect those I love, I have to protect the innocent, to right the wrongs that I see."

"Like in the camps?" She whispered.

"Anna that's different..."

"No Kratos, it's not different. It's not any more different from what those people did to you at your village."

He snarled, started to push her away. She held onto him, he could force her off of him, but only by hurting her. He stopped struggling against her, and lay still. In the darkness he could feel her move, shift, and then her head was resting on his chest.

"Why did you come to the camp?"

"I was ordered too, Forcystus was to get a cruxis crystal implant, as well as a... An addition, a weapon was to be fused on his arm. Someone had to run things while he was gone, it's years until the next Regeneration journey so Ygg-... I was ordered to go, I went."

"Things changed when you came. You didn't push us as hard, and we actually were making things at the camp instead of rotting there." Anna whispered. "Why did you do that?"

"I..." Kratos sighed, and in the darkness reached out to touch his wife's shoulder. "I do not know why I did what I did. I just did. It had to be done Anna, I do not know why, it just did."

"You've never said that before." Anna whispered, clasping his hand in her own.

"What?"

"You never said you didn't understand. You never admitted you were helpless to not do what your heart was telling you to do. I think somewhere in that very thick and stubborn skull you knew what was going on was wrong. I think you knew somewhere that Mithos was lying to you, that he wasn't going to keep his end of the bargain, to fix the two worlds."

"Anna..."

"Kratos, we can't let him do this... We have to stop him... Please, there must be a way!"

"Anna I already tried nothing I could find would work."

"I wont let our son live in a world that.. that that monster can just obliterate with a snap of his fingers. I won't! Please Kratos, you have to try again, and I know that if you do you will succeed."

"I... Anna I've already failed. There is no..."

She pinched him, and he fell silent.

"There always is hope Kratos. And you won't be alone, I'll help you, I'll be with you every step of the way."

"No I don't want to lose you to Cruxis, I wont! It's too-" He was silenced as she firmly kissed him on his lips. He pulled away first, gasping for breath. She had taken advantage of his dazlement to curl up around him.

"I won't be lost, I won't die, not if I can help it. And you Kratos will not give up, even if I have to apply all of my stubbornness to your head with a frying pan!"

"Anna this is no game..."

"I know that." Her hands caressed him, made him ache, but he turned from her. "You are being so stubborn, you know that? Kratos, you can't stop him alone, and I most certainly can't either. But if you wont help me I'll leave Lloyd with you and do what needs to be done on my own."

He froze, stiffened at that threat. She could feel it under her hands.

"You would abandon me?"

"No, if you don't do this there wont be anyone to abandon, because you'll already have abandoned yourself, and everything that makes you you. You won't be the man I fell in love with if you keep turning a blind eye to that monster. The man I love would fight, the man I love would never give up, he hasn't given up, not in four thousand years. He just got a little sidetracked, that's all."

"A little?"

"Yes a little." She kissed his back, since that's all she could reach. The pain came back; he growled and almost rolled out of the bed. She caught him though, steadied him. He pulled himself back, squirmed back on the bed even as she teased him for letting cold air in. The pain suddenly left him, a silver blue light burst into being, and Anna laughed.

"You are a very strange woman Anna." It was only a soft whisper; her fingers were already weaving through his wings.

"Yes, I am. I'm the only one I know who has a wing fetish. You wouldn't believe how hard it was to get a boyfriend who'd understand." She teased, then after a moment found the back of his head and gave him a peck. "I told you before I'm the luckiest women in all the worlds. I have a wonderful son, and a husband who's a hero and an angel." She then snuggled against his winged back. "I wouldn't trade him, or any of this, for anything in the two worlds."


	14. Pursuit

Chapter 14

Pursuit

"I'd have to see it to believe it Kratos." Anna snorted, she was eating, and a small wonder he was too. Granted he was probably eating a fifth of what she was having, but it cheered her whenever he came to the table with some appetite. "A bridge that spans an ocean, you have to be joking."

"It's a wonder of Tethe'alla Anna, and it will take at least a half day of walking to cross." He moved a bit of curry on his plate, he had already eaten a few bites, and his slower metabolism wasn't demanding much more out of him. "There are rest stops, small benches here and there, but no place to rest if you were caught out there at night." He contemplated the plate, toyed with a pool of sauce, then pushed the food away.

Noishe, hearing his master was done, came to the table. With wide eyes, ears slicked back, and a whine on his lips, he begged, and barked, until Kratos relented and handed over the remains of the inn's well made curry. Kratos had, at first light, gone and ordered food for himself and Anna. Then just as the sun fully risen and false dawn was but a memory he had returned and brought their breakfast back to the room. Anna had not been pleased to wake up in a room with no fire or no warm husband to snuggle up for warmth. She had let him known how she felt, keeping her tone down so not to wake Lloyd, and had been a bit sour until he mentioned the bridge.

Now she was restless, she wanted to see this wonder.

Kratos had kept his thoughts to himself. He had seen this bridge hundreds of times, another visit wasn't going to mean anything more to him. But Anna had never seen it, she had seen so little in her life.

As a daughter in a large leather armor makers family, she had been shunned all contact with the outside world. She once grudgingly told him that her family wanted nothing to do with her, and she wanted even less to do with them. All save her half sister Lillith, but because Lillith was a priestess of Martel seeing her was out of the question. Anna knew that, accepted that, and admitted to him that it hurt.

"Trust me," She snarled, her hands clenching in a show of rare rage. "We will have to deal with them once, I need to see Autumn, to see if she will leave, then after that we'll never have to deal with them ever again."

Kratos had wondered, worried and wondered what had happened to Anna to make her hate them that strongly. She was normally so filled with love, with hope. He had swiftly changed subjects, and she had been relieved to do so. Something fluttered in the back of his heart, a warning, but he kept that to himself, decided that Anna's family who were a whole world away, had no influence on them at this moment.

"It seems as if you will get to be an adventurer after all."

Kratos mused, watching Noishe walk around the room whimpering, his tongue lolled out as far as it would go. The protozoan whimpered, as much as he could around his tongue, and was now begging them for a bowl of water. Anna snorted, then went to the sink and turned the handle. Water poured out, and after her moment's shock she worked herbowl under the stream of water. Kratos watched as the protozoan all but dove into the bowl.Noishe quickly pulled his head out from the water andwhined,he thenran around the room yalping.

"Anna, did you turn the red nozel to get water?"

"Hmm, yes dear, why?"

Kratos coughed, then pointed to Noishe. It was not his _dogs_ day, Noishe rolled on the wooden floor, yalping, hot water dripping from his furry face.

"Oh no, that was the hot water wasn't it? Oh Noishe I'm so sorry!"

"Finish packing Anna, I will tend to this." He got up, then snatched up the bowl Anna had left for Noishe and dumped the contents into the sink. Then he turned the blue nozel and let the water run for a moment. After the water stopped steaming Kratos filled the container, and turned off the Tethe'allan mechanism with much more confidence then Anna had shown. He kneeled down and lay the bowl on the floor, Noishe again tried to drown himself. The protozoan's teeth chattered when he came up for air. "I told you begging for human food was not a good idea when you are still in your Arish evolution Noishe, you must be patient."

Noishe only glared at Kratos, his ears were slicked back in chagrin.

They had had this talk a hundred years ago, and it always cropped up every century as Noishe would forget the last embarrassing incident and try to eat human food yet again. At least this time he wasn't in his hawk form, coming in to a hawk trying to eat spaghetti had been one of the strangest experiences in Kratos' life. How Noishe had even made the food still baffled Kratos, there was very little in the way of ingredients in Derris Kharlan, and talons were ill suited for turning nobs and pressing buttons that worked the magi-tech stove he owned...

"If you try again I'd at least smell the food first, to see if it's spicy instead of just wolfing it down."

Noishe snarled, revealed his tiny teeth, and the mercenary laughed. Anna came into the room, a backpack filled with their lighter traveling gear on her back, their son in a strange purse-child carrier hybrid. She stared at him, a humored smile on her lips. Anna still believed that Noishe was a dog, no insistence on his part would sway her to realize that Noishe was one of the eternal protozoan. Noishe's first form having been crafted by the Essence of Mana and the High God at the feet of the Mana Tree, Noishe was definitely older then Kratos, and in all probability was stronger and wiser then the seraphim could ever comprehend.

All Anna ever saw was a dog, and all their son ever saw was a ride.

Kratos mentally sighed, and gave Noishe's silken ears a scritch.

"Better now?"

Noishe barked, wagged his tail, and wiggled his silly looking ears.

"Good, lets pay the innkeeper and leave."  
"To adventure!" Anna was yet again filled with enthusiasm. She always was enthusiastic about anything new. He recalled her first reaction to his wings and flushed. Enthusiasm was not the word for that scenario. She had also been so thrilled to see Noishe, had fallen in love with the puppy shaped protozoan at first sight. As long as Anna trusted her gut instinct, as she called it, she was thrilled with whatever she saw.

In that way they were opposites.

Anna was out going, honest, sincere, loving... She trusted others. Loved humanity, and what she didn't love she knew that all she had to do was bend her will on it, be determined enough, and she'd change it. Mithos, no problem, they would just walk to Slybek, do some tedious research, and the answer would materialize right before them in easy little packets.

A life time.. no four hundred life times... had shaken Kratos of that determination.

Time had bleed determination out of him, along with his faith in the good of the human race.

She'd have hated him if she knew what he was thinking, she'd had smacked him at the very least. Time, he sighed and rubbed at his temples though it was his heart that ached, too much time. He had been here far too long, seen far too much. Noishe barked, then sensing his mood whined and gave his friend a lick with his severely abused tongue. Kratos smiled, stroked the back of the protozoan's head, and stood.

"Adventure?" Kratos rose an eye brow. "All I see is a very long walk over miles and miles of ocean."

"You are such a grouch, you know that?"

Anna crossed her arms over her chest, or rather tried. She was hampered by her son, and the many straps that held the packs to her back. The newest additions to her belt made him grieve. Anna, at Kratos' firm order, now wore a sword and knife. He wanted to give her a shield, for they were very expensive. He honestly didn't have enough money to get her one yet, hopefully as they traveled they would gain funds through various jobs and skirmishes that they'd encounter on the road. Kratos freverantly prayed that it would be jobs, not fights, that would add to their income. He did not want his wife and son exposed to combat, did not want to see them become as scared as he.

"Maybe, I am."

Lloyd smiled, oblivious to the whole conversation, and made a happy noise. Seeing his father, and his "dog" always made him happy. Kratos hopped that his son would be able to hold onto that happiness, the road was always rougher then the cities, any child would grow annoyed or angry at the lack of comforts.

"Daddy's just a grouch Lloyd, don't pay any attention to him."

Noishe barked as if to agree.

Outmatched Kratos rose his hands in defeat, then slipped out of the room. In the hall he sighed, opened thier money pouch and did a quick scan of the remainingfunds. If they were very lucky when they got to Slybek they'd be able to rent rooms for a week. And he had yet to get the price of the room from the innkeeper for this weeks stay. Closing the pouch, tying it to his main belt, Kratos slid his sword over it. Any pickpocket would have to work around three feet of steel to get to the money inside, and the only way they could honestly slash it open was by crawling under him, pushing the sword aside, and making a stab at the sack, then trying to snatch the pouch or money as it fell. He'd feel that, and any stupid would-be thief would feel his sword in their gut.

A fair trade over all.

Kratos picked his way down the stairs, turned towards the welcome desk and froze. Three papal knights stood in strict attention. They looked like statues cast out of bronze, and the bronze was starting to change colors. At least that's what there armor looked like it was made out of, and he could see nothing of the men in the armor. One visored head swerved in his direction, and Kratos forced himself to not tense, ordered himself to remain calm. With what he hoped was a casual air he hung back, leaned against the wall, and then closed his eyes. After all no sane man would approach the papal knights, they were notorious for seeing blasphemous thoughts and taking the sacrilegious person to the nearest prison.

_Anna _

Anna shivered, she could have sworn she heard Kratos' voice.

_Anna_

Her hand drifted to the new sword, she shifted Lloyd so he would not get hurt when she drew it.

_Papel knights are in the building, you must stay in this room. They might be Mithos' pawns_.

"What..Kratos how..."

_Anna I can not hear you, I can only sense your emotions, you must listen to me. Stay in the room, they are searching for a mercenary and his slave. They do not seem interested in searching the rooms right now... Damn that bastard! Anna you have to leave the room some how without being seen, the innkeeper just suggested that they check the clients rooms. They have a description of you, but strangely not one of me. I am safe down here, so focus on getting yourself out of there_.

A strange calm filled Anna, she held Lloyd to her, and with the packs in her back walked out of the room. She went down the hall, then went to the far room, the cheapest and one of the few unoccupied rooms of the inn. They bed was made, not recently since the covers were slack. Over all the room was bare. Gently Anna lay her baby on the center of bed, then went to the window. The innkeeper's voice echoed in her mind.

_"Normally people don't like this room, I mean all you see is a wall._"

The man had been making a gross understatement. There was at most three feet before you saw the other wall. It wasn't even an alley, it was just a space between two buildings. She swallowed, then unhooked her packs. Quietly, aware of every squeak of the floor boards, she lay out every scrap of clothing and sheet that they owned on the floor. Then, because she had no other ideas Anna tied each item end to end, making a primitive rope.

"Come on Noishe," Kratos' green and white dog looked to her, then to the rope, his eyes filled with horror. "You get to go down first."

The door opened, and as it did one of the most annoying inventions of man kind went off. A bell had been placed on the upper left corner of the door, it jingled with a cheer that was a marked contrast to the demeanor of the one who entered. The two knights who weren't searching the rooms, and the innkeeper, turned. A dog, brown, wet, and miserable came into the inn. It whined, and at that familiar sound Kratos looked up from his sharpening of a knife. Coated in mud, literally dripping mud onto the hard wood floor, he had to admit the messy dog looked familiar.

When as the dog's brown eyes met his Kratos understood.

"Aisst! Mutt, get out of here you filthy beast!" The elderly innkeeper snarled. He flapped his hands and waddled after the dog. For a second the "beast" looked like it was contemplating murder then with a low growl it trotted towards the door. That sounded like a great deal like a human's grumble, and it turned into a snarl as Noishe head-butted the door. Noishe wagged, no.. he wiped, the thick stub that was his tail, on the door as it swung shut. Innkeeper, knight, and mercenary, stared at the door for a long moment. Kratos snickered, and the innkeeper looked at him, morally offended.

"I'm sorry sir, but the way you have kept me waiting to pay you... I sympathize more with the dog then you."

At the word pay the innkeeper actually brushed past the knights and apologized. Kratos ignored the man, fished out the pay, it was when he was going to give it to the innkeeper that the two other knights came roaring out of the guest quarters. There was a commotion, a babble of words, the words "break in" carried over the rest of the babble, and all the knights and the innkeeper went up to the stairs. Alone in the main hall Kratos considered leaving the money on the desk...

For all of two seconds.

Pocketing the money the seraphim left the inn. He followed the muddy paw prints to an abandoned building. Anna was already washing off the muck that covered Noishe, all the while whispering what sounded like an apology. Noishe growled, nipped Anna, and the second she untied his tail went away from her so that he could lick where the string had bound it.

Seeing him approach she smiled.

"Adventure, is it always like this?" Reading his troubled expression she laughed. "Don't worry Lloyd's fine, he's right there." She nodded her head to a small drawer she had stolen from the inn. The blanket that had been laid in the drawer stirred, and Kratos could see their son moving. He did not like the small cold drawer, and though he did not cry, unhappiness was on his face. Kratos went to Anna, kissed her, then went to his son and held him. She smiled at Kratos, smiled as he held his son, then went back to packing their clothes.

"Anna, why in Origin's name are..."

Noishe whined, then when Kratos turned to look at him the protozoan shook his fuzzy head.

"Yes dear?"

Noishe whined louder, then shuddered.

"Ahh, never mind."


	15. Storys

Stories

Chapter 15

They walked hand in hand. Steel under there feet, the ocean to both sides partial hidden by the mass of wire and steel. It was like walking through a hall really, a very large steel hall... As he felt her hand slide into his, as he felt her pulse under his fingers, he recalled the other times he had held her hand. He tasted the desert, the grass of the forest, phantom sensations, little more them memory. Yet it seemed wrong somehow, with the sun blazing above them it seemed wrong. He loved the night, loved the mystery. He found beauty in the world as it fell into nights shadowed embrace, the stars, the moon, seemed more graceful then the sun. There were few clouds in the sky, distant wisps that slithered across the heavens. A shame really, there were not enough to pursue Anna's favorite past time of cloud gazing.

Perhaps some other day...

The wind kicked up, the scent of sea filled the air. Both of them sighed, both of them allowed their memories to take them back to childhood. They had both lived by the sea, Kratos the son of a solder and pretty fisherman's daughter, Anna's family while not right on the ocean had lived close by. Noishe sneezed, wrinkled his black nose, then whined. Lloyd seemed happy enough, his eyes were fixed on some sea gulls that floated around the horizon to there backs. Their baby had stared at the water, had stared at the few people that they came across, and just about anything else that moved. He was very quiet, not fussy, as were other children. Or rather the other children Kratos saw. So long as Lloyd could see them, so long as he could hug them, be hugged, he was happy. Kratos recalled seeing a harried looking couple early on in there walk across the bridge, recalled how the couple's child had howled and fussed. In a strange way he was proud that Lloyd took all of this in stride, and he hoped that the stoic nature their son was showing now would stay with he as he grew up.

"You've been awful quiet." Anna's eyes seemed to glow as she took in the experience of walking over the ocean. She was enjoying herself, and her enjoyment was contagious. "Thinking about something important, dark, or deep?"

Kratos smiled. "Not really, I am dwelling on nothing I guess."

"You, woolgathering? Dear Martel I think I heard the underworld freeze over!" Anna mock gasped and Kratos snorted. "I swear, any moment now some demonling is going to come up to us in heavy fur garments to chew you out."

"That would be an interesting sight." The seraphim chuckled. "Unlikely but interesting all the same."

"Think of the theological turmoil it would raise!" Anna laughed and he smiled. They were alone so it seemed a safe enough comment.

"Anna, that is enough." And though he scolded her his smile softened what harshness could be found in his tone.  
"Humph!" She tried to imitate him and failed miserably. "Grouch."

Suddenly seized by playfulness Kratos mock winced. Mimmed taking an arrow in the heard and looked to his wife still stuck in that melodramatic pose.

"I am wounded to the heart, can you not see the arrow here?"

"Sarcastic grouch."

He dropped the pose, snorted, and decided to act the roll of "sarcastic grouch".

"The agony..."

"Very sarcastic grouch."

"Really Anna, you've been with me long enough to think of a better rejoinder then that, haven't you?"

"Very _very_ sarcastic grouch... who will be having tomato soup tonight."

"How many "very"s do you plan on adding?"

"Very very very sarcastic grouch."

"Do you plan on doing this all day?"

"Maybe." Anna's tone had a wicked note to it. "It annoys you, so I might just remember it for special occasions."

"Oh joy..."

"It'd be a good way to make you not sarcastic. My very, very, very, very, sarcastic, grouchy, husband."

He laughed, a sound that had once been so rare for him now came more easily. To Anna a smile, laughter, joy, these were old friends of hers. Only from very early childhood did he recall being free with his emotions, and as an adult he had very little to take joy in. Little joy until Anna had stepped into his life. She carried her own joy and laughter in the Camp, and had more or less rammed it down his throat until he had "loosened up" as she once called it.

Lloyd made a happy noise, reached for his father. Anna laughed, then Kratos found himself holding their son without knowing all of what happened.

"You two look adorable like that. Of course Lloyd's always adorable, he's just the right type of adorable though, the type that spreads when anyone holds him. Even you." Anna cocked her head to the side, considered them both for a long moment. " He has your eyes, and the shape of his face, I bet as he get's older it'll look more like yours then mine."

"Your eyes are the same color as mine beloved."

She looked at him, and smiled. Was there a hint of sadness in her? For some reason he thought that there was.

"No, he definitely has your eyes. Yours are a lot darker then mine, and I don't know, but there is something different about them. And your age has nothing to do with it... It think they might be a little closer to black then brown, that's all." She smiled, then they walked for a little bit. About halfway across the bridge she stopped, rubbed her leg, and Kratos suggested they take a break. If he hadn't she would have kept going, despite the fact that she was in pain. As they rested, or rather while she rested since he had no need to, Kratos cradled their son in his lap. Anna was right, he mused as Lloyd stretched his arms up, trying with all his might to reach up and give his father's hair a tug. Lloyd's eyes were a little bit darker then Anna's, they held slivers of black, much like Kratos'.

For some reason that bothered the seraphim.

"Ga!" Lloyd cried out, he wanted a Noishe ride. But they were too tired, Anna and Noishe were drained. The bridge seemed a small obstacle to a man who never grew tired, but to Noishe who's little paws had to scramble to keep pace, and to Anna who was unused to such physical labor. It had been a long day, a very long hard day. So Lloyd had to settle for a ride on Daddy's shoulders. He took the compromise gracefully enough, and spent a long time tugging on his Father's hair and squealing. Kratos' scalp wasn't having as fun a time as his Son, and he honestly considered shaving his head for the sake of a little peace. Another sharp tug made the seraphim wince. The way Lloyd was going there wouldn't be much to shave.

Anna was asleep, she had set up the tent and she and Noishe had retreated inside at suns setting. Lloyd, had perhaps inherited a little of his father's nature, he didn't seem to want to sleep. Didn't seem to need to sleep unless he wanted to. That's all Kratos prayed his son had inherited from his fathers twisted blood. Could his son feel heat, cold, would he some day come to grow wings? Would he live for an eternity? As horrible as it was Kratos prayed that his son would live a mortal's span, that he would enjoy the _weakness_ of a mortal's existence. The other alternative was worse, so much worse.

"Shh." At the seraphim's command Lloyd fell quiet, looked to his father with those dark brown eyes. "You need to sleep, you are worrying me because you sleep so little."

Lloyd giggled, not understanding, just taking joy in his father's voice.

"You are not going to sleep, I know that look, but you need to."

Lloyd made a noise, stirred.

"You are not even two and I am already boring you with my speeches. You certainly know how to make a man feel less important about himself."

He shushed again, and Lloyd giggled quietly as his father picked him up and carried him away from the camp. They didn't go far, just far enough to stand in the moon streaked darkness. Away from the gold and red of the firelight.

"I think it's time for a little story, if I tell you a story will you go to bed?" No response, save one hand gave a vicious tug to one of Kratos' dangling locks of hair. "Well I'll tell you one anyway, who knows, maybe it'll work."

With his son in his grip the seraphim lay down. For a moment Lloyd snuggled against his father's chest then squealed as the warrior lifted his son. Kratos held him for a few seconds, then eased him back down. They both spent a long moment laughing, and the seraphim decided that some tickling was in order. Lloyd giggled as he was supposed to while his father expertly hit every weak spot with gentle fingers. When Lloyd seemed to settle down Kratos stroked his son's wild hair, put some order to it while he gathered his thoughts.

"Once, long ago, in a place far far away there was a man. He lived in a place way up high, higher then any other place in the whole world. His name was Syhin, and he had one of the greatest treasures in all the world. You see his father was a very wealthy man, a good wealthy man, who shared all he had with the world, except the worlds greatest treasure..."

Lloyd settled down, snuggled against his father's chest and though he must have been to young to understand, seemed to be paying total attention.

"You see, un-like now, when the sun sets there was no stars that came out. Only Luna, and with her came the moon. The moon's radiance was enough, just barely, to make it through the night. But you see, human's need light and dark, and though Luna tried her hardest she was not strong enough to truly nourish humans through the night. No one knew what to do, but it was rumored that Syhin had the greatest treasure in all the world, and that that treasure could fill the sky with light. Light that the people needed. So people from all over the world came to Syhin, they asked him to give up that treasure, that it was for the good of all. Syhin refused, would not give up his father's keep sake, not for anything or anyone in the world. Not even for the whole world... The treasure, he said, was worth a thousand worlds. In someways Syhin was right, it was worth a thousand worlds. It was in a way a thousand worlds... For you see the treasures Syhin so coveted was the millions and of human hopes and dreams, the shards from Origin's work."

Lloyd yawned, gripped his father's tunic, and though it seemed as if he was trying his hardest but his boy was scumbling to sleep.

"A young man named Aska fell in love with the moon, he was a strange man. He loved the moon, and the moon maiden, and seeing her every night suffering he could not take it. He went to Syhin and begged the man to give him the treasure. When the man clung to his treasure and said that he would never part with it Aska left, or seemed to. Later that starless night he slipped back into Syhin's home, and stole the treasure chest. As he ran, Syhin behind him he called to Luna, asked her to help him flee. And she did, she gave him wings, and Aska became a great bird and scattered the shards of creation across the heavens. And from that night on, we have had stars, and Aska and Luna have had each other. Kind of like you, your mother, and I. We have each other, and we always will."

Lloyd yawned, his grip was going slack, and Kratos smiled. His boy's chest rose and fell in the pattern common to those asleep. Until dawn Kratos lay still, just enjoyed the sensation, the raw experience, of being with his son in this peaceful summer night. At the suns rising he heard the sound of someone's approach. A soft huffing pant told him that it was safe, so he re-closed his eyes, relaxed his grip on his sword's hilt.

Less then a half hour later after Noishe's arrival Anna came out of the tent, and after a minutes searching found the three of them. She "aww"ed softly, muttered something about wishing she had one of those Desian camra-thingies. Kratos smiled, and moved a little so that she could join them. As Anna lay besides him, one hand absently wrapped around both her husband and son Noishe whimpered softly.

"Oh hush you big baby, there's room for you too." Anna whispered.

Kratos grimaced as Noishe decided that his spot was going to be to lay across Kratos' legs. But this was right, a little uncomfortable, he amended as the protozoan shifted a bit, but it was right. There was nothing more right to him in the whole world then this one moment.


	16. Angelic Nature

Angelic Nature

Chapter 16

Slybek, city of scholars. Everyone who lived there, even the innkeepers, the servants, all had some type of education. It was daunting to Anna, and on some levels humiliating. Where she had come from seeking an education was looked down on, it was scorned as a waste of time. Surrounded the those who had taken that time, shown the dedication, it made her feel small, insignificant...

She sighed, shifted her son so that he was more comfortable, and tried to keep what she was feeling private. She should have known better, she had no privacy or secrets from her husband. Kratos looked at her from across the dusty oak table, or rather tried. The table was so covered with books that she could only see the top of his spiky hair. She could feel his gaze it was so intense she wouldn't have been surprised to see the books turn to ash under his eyes.

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing dear, just wool gathering I guess."

Anna smiled as Lloyd fussed. Lloyd wanted to see Daddy but the books were in the way. Well the books were in her way too, but they were also serving as a shield, and one she was grateful for. She stroked her son's brown hair, and he settled down under her soothing touch. 

"Are you having problems with the book you are supposed to be reading?"

"Ahh, no dear..." Anna mentally flinched at her tone, she might as well have said it out loud that she was having several problems.

"Anna, I haven't heard a page flip in at least ten minutes,"

Despite herself Anna shivered, it was scary sometimes how Kratos knew everything. How his hearing was so accurate. He had once told her, grudgingly, that if he concentrated hard enough, and there was enough quiet he could hear a persons heartbeat. From that sound he could tell if they were panicked, ill, or sleeping. She wondered if in the small room they had reserved at Sybeck's university if he could hear her own heart. If he could hear it pick up pace as she fought down shame for her lie. Kratos remained quiet for a few moments, and as if sensing the tension between his parents Lloyd fussed a bit. Anna soothed him with a few whispered words.

"What is wrong Anna? Something is the matter, do not try to hide it." 

"The reading... It's not what I'm used to I guess." 

She heard him stir, felt his anger rise. He knew that she was being evasive, he hated when she did that. Anna could feel him wrestle with his frustration, could feel him force it down. His hair, the only part of him that she could see, shivered a bit as he moved. 

"What is the matter with the reading? It is historical text, not too much unlike that which you read during your pregnancy." 

"It's.. it's nothing, I guess I'm restless." 

"Anna." The hair shivered, as he sighed, then swished a little as he shook his head from side to side. "You almost left me for playing word games, and now you play them with me. If you can not be useful here, if you wont tell me why you can not be useful here, then perhaps you should go back to the Inn. I can not help you unless you let me Anna."

Anna flushed, looked out towards the window, but the shutters had been thrown over it and the curtains drawn over that. After listening to her lack of reading the first hour he had closed the one window. After the second hour he had drawn the shutters closed, and after the third he had tied the curtains shut and lite candles. He had obviously had enough, and was dragging this out in the open between them. Forcing her to answer for her behavior. He was just trying to help her, in his clumsy, tactless, way. With that thought in mind she kept a cap on her own anger, took a deep breath, then told herself to get it out fast.

"I can't read."

He was silent for a long moment, then she heard him put a book down on the table.

"During..." 

"Yes I know, I can read ang- ...that... that language. The one you taught me. But remember when we started? I said _teach it to me like a first language_, I guess in a way it was." She blushed, shifted Lloyd a bit, then swallowed. "My mother would hit me when I slipped away to go to class. So all I learned was how to write my own name, then I stopped going. One of my sibs -Ellith- she kept going, and Mother made an example out of her. After that I was too scared to go back, to even think about going back." Anna waited, waited for his rage to explode, for his snarled demand for more information. At the very least, a growled " Why the hell didn't you mention this before?". She was floored when all he said was a quiet.

"I am sorry Anna, I should have known."

"I didn't want you to, I didn't want you to think..."

"That you were stupid?" He snorted, and she could hear him force out his words past a dark rage. "I was a peasant. Remember? When I was 'normal' well over half the people didn't read or write. It's just strange that a craftsman would inflict such illiteracy on those who's key to maintaining a job is knowing how to read and write."

"It wasn't about money, it was about power, she wanted to control us."  
There was only silence on his part, then she heard him shuffling a few books around.

"How confident are you in reading... that language?" Anna muttered something to the effect of comfortable enough and Kratos sighed. "Stupid question, I apologize."

He got up, a few thing books in his hands. With a sigh he took the book she had been leafing through and handed her the smaller ones.

"These should be easier on you, when your done there are a few more untranslated books that you might be up to going through."

"I'm just in the way again, aren't I?" Anna could not get herself to look at her lover, she reached out to take the books from his hand and looked up in surprise. He had pulled them out of her reach, was regarding her with his shadow touched eyes.

"You are never in the way."

"What about that wolf outside the city, you told me stay out of your way then."

"I would hope by now that you would have some level of self preservation in you. That you would know not to get in the path of a charging beast. And you misquote me as well. I said stay out of _the_ way, not my way. What I meant was stay out of the path of the fighting, it is dangerous, and I do not want to see you become a wolf's supper. I was pressed for time though, so I merely cut a few words out and put a few in."

"A few words?" She snorted, reached for the books.

"A few." He smiled a strained smile and this time allowed her to take them. "If you have problems with these let me know."

"I will." Anna sighed, took the books up, and after skimming the titles picked the one that looked the most promising.

"I thought there would be less speculation in scholarly stuff."

"Anna, scholarly is not a word."

"I just used it, it's a word!"

Kratos sighed, rubbed at his temples. He wished he had known about Anna's weakness earlier, he could have spent some time teaching her how to read the common language. She ate, Lloyd in a high chair was reaching for the meal of mashed vegetables. He had come to the point in his life where he was to be weaned of his mother's milk, or at least that's what Anna had said. Having no clue Kratos had merely bowed to his wifes judgement.

He ate nothing this afternoon, talked only when prompted, and it was obvious his full attention was on reading the booklet of notes that he had composed. He felt Anna's eyes on him, he felt her sadness at his lack of humanity. Any other man would have become bored, drained, or merely taken a quick break. Four thousand years of life, of sleepless nights, and centuries on centuries of living in a world un-touched by time had made him capable of this. It was his single minded determination, dedication, that bordered on obsession, that he could call forth at will.

Kratos had no choice, he was relying on that inhuman single mindedness so now.

He knew that it scared Anna, but it was part of what made him different. And it was a difference that no mater there love they could not breech.

No it could be breeched, she could become like him, all he would need to do would be to remove her Cruxis Crystal, take off her ex-sphere, then make a special key crest and wait. In a month she would no longer need to eat, no longer need to sleep, she would live for eternity.

It was something that they had yet to discuss, or rather it was something she had yet to talk to him about. There would be no discussion when the topic finally came up. She would ask, and he...

He would deny her.

He sighed, focused on the notes before him, he had allowed his consciousness to drift a little. Even as he thought and decided on this personal matter there was a part of him that continued to absorb what was on the paper. His eyes, roved the pages, read, and to Anna they merely scanned each section. But he wasn't scanning the pages.

He was reading it.

Memorizing it.

That was another of there differences, another of the massive obstacles that kept them on some levels utterly separate. No longer able to sleep, no longer able to rest, Kratos had lost the capability to turn his unconscious mind off. He was aware of everything, he had lost the ability to tone out the insignificant. If he applied himself to anything, if he concentrated on anything, he was constantly bombarded with information. The barriers that were up, that allowed him to work on instinct, that allowed him to draw on intuition, were all but destroyed. Because of this strange twist thrown at him by his transformation Kratos had mastered his emotions, had learned to live behind a mask, and lived in one of two modes.

There was one way, where he endured all the information, picked it a part, and shifted through it in the most logical manner. Right now he was in that mode, and it all but made him a breathing machine. It was the farthest that he had ever been from his old self, the closest he ever drifted to Mithos' ideals of how Angels should be.  
The other, the part he show Anna and those around him as much has he could, was where he forced himself to react emotionally to all situations. The clamber of his inner turmoil, morals, and ethics, was normally enough for him to tone out all the information that he took in day to day. That was why, when he first began to understand the parameters of his angelic existence, Kratos had mastered an expressionless, soul-less facade. And after so very long living that facade it had become a part of him, he had in truth become very close to being a soul-less being.

Anna had rather forcefuly battered down that facade, had made him meet his emotions head on.

He cared for Anna, and at first he hadn't been able to express it. She had shown him how, by caring for him. He then had grown to admire her spirit, and was enough of his old self at that point to recall how to do and show that. But when he had realized he was in love... When he knew, when he finally was human enough to know, he had found to his horror that he didn't know how to say it. It wasn't words that he lacked, an eternity had given him words aplenty, he could have said it in any language, in any dialect, if he willed it. What he had lacked was the capability to show it, to express it. She had shown him how, in a thousand little ways.

Done with his notes on mana manipulation and elfin blood theories, Kratos set that stack of notes aside and reached for the other. Anna, he heard her make a sound, a quiet protest. He could sense her unhappiness, she hated this side of him. As his eyes roamed the first page of notes, that blurred into a second page, he could feel her grief. At last unable to take it he put the notes aside, and looked to her and his son.

"Anna, for just a night I need to do this. Please try to understand."

Lloyd whimpered, his face was smeared with orange, remnants of his lunch. Yet because of the state Kratos was in he could not respond, only absorb and note. He could see the torture in Anna's eyes, yet he could not reach through the ice that shrouded his soul to hold her.

She shivered, then nodded.

"Will you have your answer in just one night?"

"Yes," Kratos would have shuddered had any talked to him in that dead thing that served as his tone. "I think I have the beginnings of it now, it's just a matter of double checking it."

"Kratos, this is really important, that's the only reason I'm trying not to make a fuss over this. But... for the love of all that's holy don't do this to yourself again, please..."

He couldn't respond, he couldn't. It went against his angelic nature. And for now he could not deny that darker part of himself. Not now, not while he needed it and the power it offered..


	17. Guardian Angel

MoonCanon: you really are liking Anna aren't you? Well I'm glad you are. As for Kratos' story, he tends to tell a ton of them in this fic. I swear it's like every other chapter or something, but then I like telling folk tales, so it's my fault I guess...

ArchNavy: lol my chapter size does tend to be a bit short, or rather it seems short doesn't it? Chapter 16 was five pages single spaced font 10... so that'd make it on the lines of ten pages if it was put in it's proper format. For a fanfic that is rather long, it just reads fast for some reason. _(snatches 50 glad) Yes now I can finally buy the defender blade... erm I mean thanks:)_

"would it have anything the Japanese Imperial Sword, the Kasanagi(sp?) perhaps?"

Wow Kasan is actually related to something in RL? I'm floored. I made the name up for a origanal character in a book I hope to publish someday... Since that book isn't published I figured I could just use it here because no one else would have claim to it. I know almost nothing of Japanese weaponry, I'm more versed in western midevil/archiac weapons then eastern.

As always thanks for reviewing you guys.. and here is the next chapter

Kasan

Guardian Angel

Chapter 17

"Feeling better?" Anna asked, turning to him with a smile on her face. Strain, no fear was in her eyes. It was morning, he had decided to stay with Lloyd that night, to tell another story. When he was done he had felt much better, the ice in him was gone, melted by the endless warmth and affection that only Lloyd could give to him.

"A bit." Kratos stretched, then rubbed at his scalp.

"Lloyd was laughing, so I'm guessing he got you good."

Kratos chuckled. "Good" wasn't the word, if this was a sign of anything Lloyd was going to be very strong. He was already learning how to take his father down. Kratos stretched, then absently ruffled his hair, then pulled a few strands into his eyes. The motions of tending his hair were as natural to him as a cat licking it's soiled fur. Anna stood, walked across the sun warmed floor, and before he could protest, or say anything for that mater, she smoothed his hair back. Her gesture of fixing his hair was almost as absent as his was of mussing it up. He wondered, as she looked at him for several long moments and said nothing, how long she had honestly wanted to play with his hair like that. Silence stretched between them as Anna red his eyes, seemed to look for something he could not place... It was to the Seraphim's relief that she lost her hesitance, as she seemed to recognize that the man standing in front of her was her husband.

"You gave me a scare yesterday." Anna smiled, then kissed him on the lips. "You've made up to Lloyd, now how are you going to make up to me?"

"I'll think of something..."

He kissed her cheek, lips, strayed to her throat. He stopped just above her key creast, the flavor of iron and ore made him grimace. Sensing his distaste, she stiffened. He only looked to her and smiled, kept what he could hidden.

"Now how about breakfast mi'lady?"

He picked her up, and she gasped at his cold hands wrapped around her. He then carried her across the room as easely as he carried their son. Being what he was, did have it's advantages from time to time. She yalped as he set her down on one of the chairs, and seemed a little disapointed that he had carried her to the kitchen.

She was a bit of a hedonist at times.

"You know," She called to him from the chair, not bothering to get up and help him. "Cooking is a woman's job, right?"

"Not if you travel for long spans of time it is not. Cooking is useful, it allows you to worm your way into a companion's good graces, and it if you are good enough it also reaps a bit of a pay bonus if you are say... escorting a wealthy client."

"Mercenary to the bones I see."

"Anna!" He protested, his eyes going wide in mock pain. "How could you say something so evil?"

"Because... it's true?" She laughed, and he chuckled, then he focused on mixing the batter. "It's so strange." She said as he flipped over what was fast becoming a pancake. "You can cook, clean, sew, tell stories, write poetry, you know just about every scrap of history of well... everywhere, you can read and write more languages then I can even think about, you have good taste in clothing, though I'm going to make you cut off those silly flaps on that cloak if they move one more time!" Kratos forced himself to stop laughing, but it was very hard. "Now where was I..."

While Anna went through her long list of what he did perfectly with what appeared to be not difficulty, Kratos fought down his laughter. He could tell her a thousand stories of how he burned his meals, how he ripped his own clothes to shreds while trying to sew them. She'd never believe it though, she thought he was perfect. He sighed, worked the first pancake off, and poured the next bit of batter on the stove.

"Is there something you can't do?"

"I am a poor fishermen." He offered, he decided to leave the food for a moment, and brought Anna the first part of her breakfast. "I could never stand putting a worm on a hook."

"Eww, you mention this while you hand me breakfast? I guess you also need to learn some tact."

"You asked."

"Couldn't you think of something else to say?"

"Hmm, do you know about the college in PalmaCosta?"

"Nope, can't say I have."

"They have an entrance exam, and I was bored enough three millennia ago to sign up and take it. I brought Yuan and Mithos with me, we were all rather bored and since it was a good time before the first planed Regeneration attempt, and we needed something to do..."

"Huh." She was pouring syrup on her pancake, he left her for a moment, then came back. The last pancake balanced on the flat of an over large knife he used for cooking. He tossed it on her plate, and watched as she drowned it in syrup. It was interesting really, he always assumed that drowning an inanimate object was impossible. He left again to turn off the stove, and throw the pot and pans he used at the sink, and when he came back he forced the syrup bottle away from Anna.

"Cheapskate!"

"Anna," If a pancake were able to gasp for breath this one would be doing so. It had actually shrunk down, almost crushed by the rain of syrup. "enough it enough. I despise people who torture others."

"It's just a pancake!"

"Yes, but if Noishe wants to have your plate when you are done, or rather tries to take if from the sink like yesterday he will probably never be able to open his jaws again."

"Humph!" She crossed her arms. "You're just a cheapskate. Alright, so what happened?"

"We all failed the test."

She stared at him, open in mouthed shock.

"All of you? But..."

"The test is very large Anna. It's divided into several sections. Historic Non-human culture, archaic histories, modern histories, politics, economic theroys, advanced mana theories, poetics, persuasive argument, and..." he shuddered. "mathematics."

Anna continued to stare at him in disbelief.

"I failed the mathematics, the economic theories, and the non-human culture. Mithos failed the mathematics, both the histories, and the politics. Yuan..." Kratos actually laughed, shook his head. "He failed everything but the mathematics and economics. As I recall the headmaster told us that if we could somehow become one person we might be allowed to enter. But we'd do rather poorly because we all had very little going for us on the intellectual front compared to the other students."

Anna laughed, laughed so hard that she nearly fell out of the chair. He rolled his eyes, and smiled. It was good to hear her laugh, good to have someone to laugh with. Someone just to talk to. How long had it been since he just had that? Someone he didn't have to lie to, someone who would not look at him in hate because he had to betray them.

"Oh my God, what happened next!" She gasped between laughs.

"We had to carry Mithos out of there. He was screaming on the top of his lungs that he knew more about arcane manipulation then some human scholar... that he'd show him advanced arcane manipulation first hand. He'd burn the whole school down." Kratos smiled, recalled how Yuan had dumped the near foaming leader of Cruxis into a horse traw to cool him down. How pathetic Mithos had looked, how the half elf's blonde hair fell into his eyes in a chaotic mess. "After Yuan calmed Mithos down and the yelling stopped a young girl, probably sixteen or so, came up to us. She then asked Yuan if the even of tossing a young magic user into the element opposite of that which he was calling on produced any steam, or, how did she put it... An outstanding visible phenomenon? Something like that..." Kratos shrugged. "She then dragged Yuan off, to question him about elven culture. It was more of an excuse to flirt with him though. Some scholars took pity on Mithos, got him some towels, and we were both being swarmed by women who wanted to take Mithos off of my hands. You could almost see them thinking about how cute he'd look in something that wasn't white."

Noishe came into the small room, his ears perked up, his tail a-wag. That reminded him of what happened to him, and his private experience with the scholars. Kratos smiled at the memories and the chaos that had followed.

"Others wanted to study Noishe, dissection came up in one of the conversations, so I snatched Noishe up and made a break for it. Mithos, was very much abandoned, and when he found us at an inn that night he was... it was evident that the ladies had fussed over him."

"I take it he wasn't very forgiving?"

Kratos chuckled, his lips were twitching as he mastered himself. "Not really, Yuan at least had had an enjoyable conversation with his umm abductor. They spent hours arguing over the philosophical edicts of Martel, personal morals, and half elven practices. The scholar who kept hunting after me and Noishe was not as rational."

"Poor Noshy." Noishe walked up to Anna and whined, then all but purred as Anna began to scratch him between his floppy ears. "but that was a really long time ago Kratos, how could..."

"He has his ways." Kratos had told Anna the real reason why, she could not believe it, so he compromised. "He was one of us from the beginning, I met him right after I met Martel. After what happened with... after Martel's death we decided that it was not right for Noishe to die. I will admit I was greedy about the whole thing, and I backed Yuan and Mithos into a corner, swearing to not join them unless accommodations were made for him."

Noishe barked as if in agreement. Wagged his tail, and leaned into Anna. Noishe's eyes were locked on the table, and Anna smacked him on his snout.

"No, you are not having my breakfast. Pancakes are very very bad for dogies, you'll get sick."

Kratos decided that it was time to leave the room. He slipped out for a moment, and walked to the small room that they kept Lloyd in. Noishe stubbornly stayed with Lloyd, the protozoan would not go to bed unless he could watch over the Aurion families youngest member. He remembered how Anna had at first objected, she wanted Lloyd with them all the time, did not want their son out of their sight. Luckily time made her weaken her views. She bended, and they were able to have a few less hectic nights. Now Lloyd was sleeping through the night, and Noishe was a decent guardian, he would fetch one of his _master'_s when ever something seemed the matter. As he approached the cradle that he had made, a cradle that could be taken apart and put together with a muttered arcane word, the bundle of blankets and baby moved. Lloyd made a happy noise, his brown eyes filled with love and joy at seeing his father. Lloyd tried to get up, but fell with a laugh. His boy then settled for crawling forward, or as forward as the cradle would allow.

"Hello Lloyd, good morning."

"Ga!" Lloyd was going to ignore the bars it seemed and force himself through them to get to his father.

"That is quite enough of that." Kratos walked across the room, then scooped his son out of the crib. "Being determined is good Lloyd, but do not get the idea that everything will go your way all the time just because you want it to."

Unlike Anna, and perhaps most other parents, Kratos never baby talked to his son. He never sugar coated his language, never spoke to his son as if his boy was simple. Anna had smacked him when he had subbed his toe and cursed in Lloyd's presence, so he was cautious not to curse in Anna's presence. But Kratos figured so long as he didn't encourage Lloyd, didn't curse too much, that Lloyd would not pick up his father's occasional profanities and use them.

"You are getting very big, you know that? Do not grow up too fast Lloyd, you should enjoy being small as long as you can."

There was a clash and clatter, and Kratos whipped around, son in one hand sword in the other. At the sound of someone scratching at the door Kratos sheathed his sword, and holding his son now in both arms let his visitor in. Noishe whined, his ears were sticking out to both sides as far as they could go, a plate rested on the protozoan's head. Syrup dripped on his dog's snout. Noishe whined, or whined as much as he could. It was an great effort on Noishe's part, considering that the protozoan had his tongue stuck to the side of his snout.

"Unninnuhh!"

Anna's laugher carried through the open door, in his minds eye he could see her leaning against a wall, tears streaming down her face.

"Unninnuhh!"

Noishe was staring at both of them in pleadence. His expressive eyes filled with horror and chagrin.

"I keep telling you not to eat human food, I keep warning you, do you ever learn?"

"Na!" Lloyd chimed in, then he giggled as his father tickled him.

"Yes, he never does learn, does he?"

"Na!"

"That's right. Come on, I am going to leave with Mommy for a bit so that I can fix this."

Noishe whimpered, or tried to.

"Dad it seems, has to fix issues on a regular basis. If it's not Noishe doing this, then it is Mommy doing that."

"You did not so say that!" Anna yelled from the other room. "You Mr. Kratos are in trouble tonight!"

"Ouch," He walked out of the room, and came to Anna who was probably less then ten steps away from the door. "Lloyd, this is why you have to be very careful what you say to women, they are very very touchy."

Anna all but snatched Lloyd from his hands.

"Ignore Daddy," She advised Lloyd. "He's just very very very grouchy because he has to clean Noshy off all by himself."

"Not again!"

"Because he's a very very very very grouchy man you have to ignore him sometimes. Don't worry though, I'll tell you when to ignore Daddy so you don't catch his very very very very very... how many very's was I on dear?"

"I lost count."

"I doubt that."

"Doubt all you want, I will tend to Noishe."

"_Noshy_."

"_Noishe_."

"Whatever." Anna rolled her eyes. "Come on, Mommy and Noshy had pancakes for breakfast and you know what you're having? Mashed tomatoes and carrots! Yum yum!"

(A/N -this is where the asterics indicating a break in time would be but they are not showing up so this will have to do-)

"So we have enough money for one more night?"

Anna sighed, Kratos looked up from a book he was reading, he was thankfully not in his detached state. The book was a bit for pleasure, a bit for buisness. He had, after a bit of a grumbling argument with Anna, taken up her education. She teased him now, called him Palmacosta's Scholar. He endured the teasing, smiled a bit, and ordered her to pick up the second copy of the book he had bought. She had grumbled, protested, then bowed to her husbands demands. Anna would learn how to read the common language, he was patient with her, much more patient then he had ever been with any other of his students. After he felt comfortable with her language skills he would then move onto a more dangerous realm of study.

Anna would learn how to fight with that sword he had bought her.

She was past the age where such a study could be learned with ease, she was passed the age where anything could be learned with ease. But she'd learn, he was stubborn enough to make it happen. Lloyd lay with Noishe, near the rooms fireplace. He was asleep, as was Noishe, and they looked very strange cuddled together like that.

Anna stuttered through the second paragraph, strangled at the third, and looked ready to throw the book across the room by the time they finished the first page.

"Very good Anna, you are getting a little better at this."

Startled Anna turned on him, a protest on her lips.

"I think that's enough for the afternoon." He reached across the table and took the book from her hands. "Let us not wear ourselves out yet."

Kratos put both books aside, he had stopped reading when she wasn't reading, it was mainly to not annoy her. To not make it look easier then it was.

"What do you want to do?"

She asked, her slender fingers made a false temple in front of her. Perhaps it was a childhood habit, perhaps only a female habit. Whenever he thought, or was distressed, Kratos would cross his arms in front of his chest. Anna would fold her hands in front of her, as if in prayer. Kratos considered her hands, slender, labor calloused, they looked rather nice against their backdrop of golden brown wood.

On an impulse he gently reached out and unclasped her hands, lay them on top of his own. He kissed both her palms, and she snatched them out of his reach.

"Stop that, for a minion of evil, a knight, mercenary, seraphim, and whatever you used to be, you are such a flirt!"

Kratos snorted, rolled his eyes.

"I was never a knight, though I was much like one in my old days. I lived by a code, went into large battles, I was on a journey to save the world Anna. We all were."

"You still are."

Kratos looked up startled.

"Martel's death was horrible Kratos, it was a horrid thing that drove a great group of people to do horrible things. When she died she broke Mithos, and Yuan. Her death drove Mithos mad, and in his madness Mithos dragged you all down with him. Yuan, from what I know of him, he loved Martel, he loved her more then life itself. But Kratos, when you lose someone like that, you also lose the will to live. When Mithos promised to bring Martel back, he bought Yuan over, and nothing else would ever matter to him ever again. All except Martel."

Anna sighed, looked at Lloyd with her sad eyes.

"So he stopped trying, he gave up, Mithos gave up too. Mithos gave up on humans the second his sister died, and he gave up on the world." Anna looked at him, and smiled a proud smile. "You never gave up, maybe you did for little splurts here and there... But you kept Mithos under control as much as you could, you kept him from destroying everything, you didn't fight him, not in the open, that would have been suicide. But you did what you could. You never gave up on the world. So even though you aren't running around swinging your sword in a big battle, even though you've turned into the worlds biggest grouch, you fight for the world."

He sighed, wished it was all that easy, that it was true.

Catching the cynical note in that sound she met his gaze then narrowed her eyes.

"You don't believe me do you?"

"Of course I..."

"You only "of course" when you don't believe me Kratos. Fine, don't, I can't make you see it any other way. You're too smart for me to persuade you other wise. Lets try this a different way."

Humored, Kratos leaned back in the chair, his arms crossed.

Anna sighed, she _knew_ that gesture and all it's implications.

"You're gunna make this hard huh?"

He rose an eyebrow.

"OK your Grouchyness, what do I fight for?"

"Anna grouhyness is not a-"

"I used it!" The steel in her voice made Kratos shut up. "You don't know do you?"

"I've never seen you in a fight Anna, so I wouldn't know."

"_Men!_" She looked to the ceiling in mock piety. "Why do we need them oh higher powers!"

"Anna!"

"Shut up Kratos, you don't count as a higher power."

"It is going to be a long day."

"Yes, it is." Anna sighed, ran a hand through her hair. "Before the ranch I never had to fight anyone, or anything before. But when I was there I had to, you had to fight to live, to stay sane, and to not give in. That's why I started fighting, that's where I learned how to fight, in the ranch." She waved a hand to indicate the sword on her belt. "Not with this, I had to fight with my fists..."

She looked away, they had been away from the ranches for a little over two years, or rather she had been away from the harshness of the ranch when she had become his lover. They had courted for almost a year, and had been on the run for almost two. Sometimes at night he could see her rub her ankles, as if to tell herself the shackles were off. Sometimes she would have nightmares, nightmares where she looked up at him with frightened animal eyes until she knew by his touch that they were away from the human ranches.

"But people turn into monsters if they live like that for too long, they attack everything that moves, they go nuts. So I had to pick what I'd fight for, and how I'd fight." She sighed. "I couldn't right all the wrongs around me, but I never, ever, allowed anyone to get hurt around me if I could. If someone else needed my food they'd have it. I wouldn't let anyone suffer, because that's wrong, it's one of the things I fight for Kratos. I fight for everyone who's hurt as best I can, and I fight for those I love, so in my own way I guess I fight for the world."

"Once, when I was a young man, I would have said much the same thing. Now I fight in regret that I never stopped this before it came to this."

"See, you do fight for the world. If you regret, then you still know what right and wrong are. If you fight to right a wrong then you fight to protect those hurt by that wrong and..."

"But I allowed this to happen, I just sat back and..."

"What are you, invincible, infallible? Kratos, you made a mistake, everyone does."

"Not everyone's mistake lead to this-"

"Kratos shut up!" Anna looked to Lloyd and the seraphim flushed, he had been losing control, had almost been yelling. "Shut up and listen to me for once. You didn't give up, you never did. What happened to Mithos is that he did, he gave up questioning himself, looking for ways to fix his, Martel's, everyone's, mistakes. You went with Mithos because you wanted to fix your mistake with Martel, and you started protesting when he started killing people."

"I stopped..."

"No, you never did. You stopped openly protesting, but you felt bad, guilty, and you know what you did to fix that? You went to that Forsymin's, whatever his name's is, Ranch. You saw what was going on, understood, and you stopped hurting us. Kratos no one died while you were in charge, no one. Every night before you came at least one cell would be empty in the morning, and there would be monsters flocked around the back gate eating. The rapes stopped, my Goddess, half the women in that ranch adored you for that alone. You let parents see there children, the children weren't being executed at whim, that Ranch was heaven after you started reining the Desians in. And I can wager every piece of gald I have that you started ticking Mithos off, but things never got as bad as they were."

"One ranch, for what a year compared to thousands and thousands of..."

"And from that you are here, trying again to stop Mithos, to stop that monster's madness. you had to learn a lot, you had to become strong enough to fight Mithos, to see again. And that takes time."

"Four thousand years..."

"No, it wasn't bad, not at first. Somewhere along the line Mithos stopped caring for other people, he stopped caring what he did so long as it got him closer to getting Martel back. That's probably when the Ranches started, and Cruxis turned bad."

He considered that, and nodded. Anna had a point.

"Cruxis wanted to get Martel back so they could continue saving the world, and that's not a bad thing Kratos, what is bad is how they were doing it. Some people died, maybe a handful, and some people would argue that it wasn't a big loss if it got what needed to be done done. It was when that small number went up, when Mithos stopped caring, when Yuan stopped caring, than you started. You protested, maybe you even threatened to leave."

_He recalled holding Mithos, slamming the boy into the wall. He could feel the boy's frightened pulse under his hands, but he didn't care. Blood stained the marbel floor, the woman was dead and Mithos held the knife in his hands. The boy's white robes were crimson, on a plater lay the woman's heart. _

"She was dieing already Kratos, humans die all the time, all I did was make her suffering stop." Mithos shook as he hit the wall again, he trembled as Kratos' brown eyes looked at him and judged. "Martel needs her heart Kratos, she's dieing." Mithos winced as he hit the wall, the stone cracked under the force Kratos was slamming the smaller angel into the wall. "Please stop Kratos, I wasn't bad, please! Martel needs me, she needs to live, the woman was dieing, I knocked her out before I cut her open! I told her what I needed her for and she agreed. She said yes, she sacrificed herself!"

Kratos' eyes widened in horror, in numb shock, and he put the half elf down.

"She gave herself up for Martel, so that Martel would save the world! I'm sorry if you liked her... I didn't know! I'm sorry Kratos!"

"Sorry wont bring her back Mithos."  
"No, but she might bring Martel back. This is all for Martel, Kratos. All of it. Us being angels, Derris Karlan, it's all for her. You said you'd sacrafice your life for Martel, remember? Well she said the same thing, and I tryed not to hurt her, I really did! The blood wasn't working, so... so... I... I took her heart. And it did work Kratos, look, Martel's just sleeping now!"

He turned and Mithos was right, Martel who had looked like death, now only slept.

"Maybe now we can just wake her up!"

Kratos watched in horror as his pupil brushed past the dead woman and went to his sister. He shook her, and shook her, bruses were apearing on Martel's pale skin. At that sight Kratos firmly picked up the boy and carried him out of the chamber.

"Kratos, why did you do that!"

"You were hurting her Mithos, I had to stop you from hurting her."

"You love her too don't you?"

"Yes, I loved Martel, but I also loved that woman. She was a good person, a good friend too."

"Martel's not dead, we are going to bring her back! We have to, no matter what!"

"No, she wouldn't like that Mithos, she would want you to re-"

"We have to bring her back!"

"Mithos listen to me! She would not want you to kill anyone to bring her back, that is why she died, to stop people from dieing!"

"And when she comes back we will finish our quest, and she'll be happy Kratos, so happy!"

"Mithos!" At his roar the young half elf froze, and looked at him.

"The only reason she died is because she saved you. She died because when that assasin came back to finish the job, she kept healing you."

"I...I told her to run, I wanted her to leave... she would not..."

Samll hands gripped him, hugged him. Feathers brushed his cheek and Kratos looked up. All the colors in the world gleamed around Mithos, shimmered around him. Kratos shivered, pulled away from the angel child. Mithos held onto him, fluttered up, and stroked his hair.

"I'm sorry Kratos, I'm sorry I hurt you. I never should have said that to you."

"She would not want you to kill someone else. She hated it when people died. Now you kill others to keep her from dieing, to bring her back."

"But when she's back it will all stop Kratos. When she comes back everything will be made all right!"

"Will it?"

"It will, trust me, please..." Tears had stood in the small angels eyes, the lips were curled down in a frown of pain. "You never trusted anyone before, please, trust me, just this once..."

Kratos looked away, put his hand to the wall and sighed. It had been forever since he had felt heat and cold, he ached for it like he ached for food. He ached for what he once had, it had seemed so small a price to pay. Now he wasn't so sure.

"Trust me Kratos, please..."

He wanted to trust Mithos, he had to trust Mithos, there was no one else left to him now. His family had been Mithos, Yuan, and Martel, without them what was he? A wandering mercenary with a blood seeped past.

"What you did was wrong Mithos, you hurt someone who didn't deserve to be hurt, she was a good person."

"I'm sorry..."

"I already told you, sorry doesn't cut it. It never does. Don't forget, don't ever do this again. If you do... you are on your own. You and Yuan can revive Martel, I wont have anymore blood on my hands."

"You'd abandon me?"

"I wont kill innocents, I wont be party to it. No mater how willing they are."

"Then I promise, as a Yggdrasil, that you never will have to."

He then had hugged Kratos. Snuggled into his arms. Wanting for just a moment to re-capture the closeness, the childhood that was five hundred years behind them both.

Kratos stood, rolled his shoulders. He could feel the phantom pressure of Yggdrasil in his arms. He looked to Anna then, and she braved the darkness in his eyes, and smiled. She trusted him, she always would, no matter what.

"We have to stop him, not just for our son, but for everyone he's hurt."

"I don't want to kill him Anna, he was my pupil, he was a little brother to me, Martel a sister, and Yuan... Well when Yuan stopped seeing me as competition for Martel we became friends."

"They are your family, or as close as you ever have had."

"No, you and Lloyd are my family. Mithos... he is not as he once was. If there was some way to make him as he was, to bring Martel back without suffering... I would do it, I would reason with Mithos, bring Martel back, without a thought to it."

"There's my grouchy bear thinking straight again." She smiled at him and despite the sadness he felt, he laughed.

"Is that my new name, grouchy bear?"

"Yes, it is. Unless I can think of something better."

"Hmm I just do not know if it fits me very well."

"Give me time, I'll think of something else more fitting."

She stood, went to him and he held her. Together they stood, looking down at there drowsing son and Noishe. After a bit of time had passed Anna leaned on him, her hands playfully stroking his hair. She kissed his cheek, then whispered into his ear.

"I have it."

"Hmmm." he was only looking at Lloyd, his thoughts drifting to what awaited his son and wife.

"Your new name silly."

"I'm listening..."

She laughed, her hand lingered in his back, but did not slide down. She was not going to bring forth his wings, but she was letting him know that she knew very well how to.

"_Derris fa Gathsuun_."

"Angel of Gardening?" Kratos muttered, baffled.

"No silly, Guardian Angel. When you change the word guardian to complement "fa" it just sounds like garden. Remember the long "o" versus short "o" speech you gave me?"

"Faintly..." He looked to Anna a frown on his face.

"You don't like it? I'll think of something else then..."

"No, it fits... I... just coming on top of a lot of thinking I guess I can not appreciate the humor right now."

"Then stop thinking for a little."

"And how would you propose to do that?"

"How would you like me to?" Her lips twitched as evil thoughts ran through her head.

He chuckled, and she gently kissed him on his cheek.

"I could say to hit your head on the wall several times, very hard. That would make you stop thinking, I could do that and when you were done tuck you in with Lloyd but I have an evil-er idea... Wake Lloyd up, he'll keep you busy while I shop, now tell me what we need to get for the next part of our journey."

"I have a list."

"Humph, well that's nice, can I read it?"

"Yes, I wrote it in angelic, you should have no problems. Just..."

"Keep track of the list, it could fall in the wrong hands... I know this already, we've been over it."

"Then keep safe, and enjoy yourself."

"Oh," her eyes gleamed with a playful light. "I most certainly will. Remember, if he gets too much sleep he'll wake up again tonight.. and I want to sleep through tonight, well most of it."

"Hedonist."

She laughed and dashed out of the room. For a moment Kratos considered Anna's advice, considered the past, and then he looked at his son. Yes, it was time for them to wake up, maybe he and Lloyd would take Noishe for a walk. A little father son outing, Anna would have called it that. And it wasn't as if they were bound to the city, a quick stroll out from the press of people wouldn't be bad. Kratos smiled, it actually sounded like a very good idea.

"Come on you two, time to wake up."

Noishe opened an eye and growled.

Lloyd yawned and rolled over, almost burying himself in Noshy's furry tail.

"I have your throw disk Noishe, and human food that isn't coated with syrup or spicy."

The tail wagged, and Lloyd squealed, and gave it a tug. Noishe woke up fully with a yalp, and Lloyd giggled. He always woke up quick when his Daddy was there with him in the morning. To him it may seem a little funny place to start out, but it was to him morning.

"Da!" Kratos felt his heart swell, he smiled and picked up his son.

"Close, we will have to work on the talking thing later. For now though I want that walk."

Noishe barked, and all but pranced. He could smell the jerky Kratos had in one of his pouches. Jerky to the protozoan was a rare treat, and it was a break from the nutrition pellets or un-flavored meat that Kratos would give him. With a growl Noishe hopped up and snatched the throw disk from one of Kratos' belts, and made a break for the door. Lloyd and Kratos were fast behind him.


	18. Curtains

Decision

Chapter 18

"Mizuho?" Anna asked, she didn't stutter as much as before, seemed much more sure of the sounds and pronunciation. She tapped the dot on the map, the city, or town rather. Kratos looked over her shoulder, read the squiggle, and nodded. She didn't look up, she knew he nodded, she could feel his hair tickle the back of her neck. She giggled, then after a quick scan tried another town's name. "Ozzettie?"

"Close enough."

"I want to know Kratos, close enough isn't an answer I take anymore, remember?"

"Ozette, no "ie" sound at the end. But it was still very close."

"If it's not right then it's not right. I'll take very close in a few things Kratos, but not reading."

"Now who's PalmaCosta's Scholar?"

Anna whistled sharply, and Noishe came up to Kratos. The mercenary cursed as the protozoan knocked him over, buried him under his weight. Noishe mock growled, jumped up and down, all the while Kratos struggled to get up. Anna leaned against a tree and watched as her husband struggled to sit up. When it looked like he was going to be able to pull himself off the forest floor Noishe ran across the clearing and bowled the Seraphim over in a flying tackle. They rolled around a bit, but Noishe came up on top. Watching Noishe play with Kratos was a treat, and one Lloyd seemed to enjoy. He was a little older now, in the later part of two years in life, and he was beginning to understand that Daddy was very serious. So he laughed with his mommy as Kratos was bowled into a bush. There was no movement for a long time, Noishe's ears slicked back and he walked to the mess of a bush with a whimper. A gloved hand reached out from the darkness and leaves and Noishe was dragged into the ruined flora. He managed a very convincing panicked yalp before vanishing from Anna's sight.

"Bye bye Noshy!" Lloyd chirped, and Anna laughed. Lloyd was talking, a little early, and he didn't alway make sense, but he was still quite the talker. What peace and quiet that Anna and Kratos had savored was now non-existent. Lloyd would make up nonsense songs, ask for stories, and when his parents couldn't talk to him he talked to Noishe.

Noishe was now the official Aurion family pet and its sounding board.

When Lloyd wasn't talking to him Kratos was, even Anna had caught herself unloading to the dog.

Kratos would have sighed, corrected her, told her that Noishe was a protozoan.  
Whatever that was...

Oh he had told her the legend of the protozoan before, had told her that Noishe was a being of ancient times, that he had been created on the dawn of the world. But that was impossible! Yes, anyone else could have told her impossibility was no longer a part of the world. After all her husband was an angel. Angels did not exist anywhere but in the scriptures, at least for a rational person they didn't. Rational, normal, these didn't exist in her life. But Noishe, Noishe made sense. He was a dog, he looked like a dog, acted like a dog. What else could he be?

Yalping in terror Noishe ran back to Anna and the clearing, Kratos had either used his magic to douse the dog, or had finally found a stream to chuck their pet into. Kratos came back, a lazy swagger to his step, a smug smile on his lips. His sword on was as always on his main belt, his purple clothes a little worse for wear, but then all there clothes were. Living out in the wilds, occasionally going into the cities every month or so... It was to be expected. He was covered with bits of plant and dust, and seeing Anna, paused to pull out the worst of his play from his hair. Noishe snarled, then sprang forward, Kratos threw his arms in front of him, braced for yet another tackle. Noishe skid to a stop in front of the seraphim, then shook himself out. With a happy bark Noishe ran away, and the now muddy seraphim glared daggers at the fleeing hound.

"I think he got the last laugh beloved. He always seems to keep the upper hand on you."

Lloyd gigged, then totted to his father with a happy smile on his face. He bent, picked up Lloyd with a powerful arm, and swung there son in a circle over his head. Lloyd squeaked, he loved it when Kratos did that. Kratos made a point of doing it often. Life was a rough for them, Kratos passed onto her what he could of his endless knowledge of survival. He taught her how to hunt, to make traps, what plants were safe to gather. He also was continuing her normal education, Anna was a competent reader now, but he was always insistent that she learn more. To better herself, to become stronger. But now he was lessening the time they spent on intellectual studies, he was trusting her to teach herself and come to him when she needed help or wanted to be tested.

"Did your mother do the reading like she was supposed to?" Kratos asked Lloyd. Their son giggled, nodded his head.

"I see you have a little spy on your side Kratos. For shame! You shouldn't use Lloyd like that!" She glared at him over the pot of rabbit stew she was making, and waved the wooden spoon at him like a sword.

"Two, I have two spies Anna."

Noishe padded from the darkness, and seeing that Kratos had forgiven him, barked. The dog wagged his bushy tail, and met Anna's eyes. One of them closed in a sly wink. He always winked at her, winked at Lloyd. Then he'd stiffen up into a military attention stance when Kratos looked his way. Lloyd giggled, reached for Noishe, and both parents rolled there eyes.

"No Lloyd, no Noishe rides today. You have already had your Noishe ride, remember?"

"Noshy!"

"Lloyd, no." Kratos' voice became firm, and Lloyd stopped arguing. He knew better, even at two, then to argue with his father when he talked in that tone. "No rides until tomorrow."

"Noshy..."

It was a bit of a grumble, a bit of a sigh of defeat. Lloyd knew better then to try to yell his Father down. To try to cow either of his parents with raw volume. Oh, he did try sometimes, but Kratos always took firm steps to stop Lloyd when he carried on for too long. Their son brightened when Kratos set him down, and he tottered over to the fire. Anna saw the panic, saw the harsh retort on Kratos' lips, and saw him relax when Lloyd plopped down a few feet away from the fire. Lloyd was mimicking his parents, was sitting by the fire.

Kratos sighed with relief, wiped his brow, though he could no longer sweat. Well at least he claimed that he couldn't, Anna had her doubts about that, but kept her thoughts to herself. After a moment Kratos adjusted his sword and then joined Lloyd. The youngest member of the Aurion family seemed happy enough, seemed to have forgotten that his father had just scolded him. Lloyd leaned back, lay his head on his father's lap, and looked up.

"Daee big."

"Yep, Daddy is pretty big." Anna laughed, and checked the stew, it was ready to be eaten. "Are you three hungry?"

"Three?" Kratos cocked his head to the side, Lloyd tried to do the same thing, but all he did was squirm a little. Kratos looked down, and smiled. Noishe barked and Lloyd looked at his daee with hope on his face.

"No Lloyd, you must be patient. Tomorrow you can have a Noishe ride."

"Noshy." Lloyd muttered. Kratos' eyes narrowed and Lloyd giggled. "Noshy funny!"

"I guess he is, are you hungry Lloyd?"

"Yup!"

"Anna, look at what you started!"

"Kratos he's what, two and a half? He's not going to be talking well until he gets a little older."

"You are making it worse." Kratos muttered, then as Anna moved to make him a bowl he shook his head. "Not right now beloved, I am not hungry at the moment."

"You need to eat when you can Kratos. Lloyd really looks up to you, I don't want him thinking that he doesn't have to eat because Daddy never does."  
A worried look touched Kratos' face, he looked at Lloyd then to Anna. Anna could see him ready to say something. Then Kratos sighed, took his thought, and added it to the many others he carried but never told. There was a point that Anna could never cross, an invisible line that kept them apart. That line is where Kratos kept his darkest secrets, his worries, that line was where the drew curtains so that even his own eyes could not peer into the darkness inside of him.

"I will have to pass on lunch Anna, I will try to have dinner tonight."

"Luntuh!" Lloyd chirped, then sensing the mood patted his _dadee_'s leg.

"Lunch." Kratos muttered, ruffling his son's hair. "You will get it right soon enough."

There were times Anna wished Kratos would keep his thoughts to himself, she wished that the Seraphim wouldn't let her into his fears. But there were times when she hated the barriers he had in his soul. Yet she feared what was behind those inner walls. She was a hypocrite in that, and if she had the nerve to tell him of it, he would have just said she was a normal human.

"They want me to make a report at Derris Kharlan, then they want me to move onto Sylvarant." Anna shivered, she recalled the tomb city, the city with no ambition, the city of angels. She held her son to her, Lloyd was asleep, he had fallen asleep in her lap after dinner. Anna was just glad to be able to hold him while she took in the horrible news. "Now that leaves us with a few options. I could leave you here with Lloyd in Tethe'alla. Set you two up with some small noble family, and you could live here while I..."

"Don't even finish that thought Kratos. We are going with you, no matter what."

"Anna it's dangerous, here at least you will be safe!"

"No we wont, or have you forgotten Meltokio? Or how about the stranger asking around for me in Ozette? Kratos we are still being hunted, I don't know by who, or what, but we can't settle down. We don't dare."

"Damn it Anna!" He stood, turned from her and clenched both his fists. "I want to protect you, but if you stay with me then Mithos will see you. If I leave you then whoever is hunting you will catch you!" He sighed, his hands unclenched. "Maybe if I had never..."

"Kratos Aurion shut up right now!" To her wonder, he did. "Don't you ever ever think that you would have been better off having never met me! Don't ever think that I'd be better off if I never met you! And Lloyd, your son, don't hurt him like that. Don't make him into nothing because times are rough for you."

"Anna this is not about..."

"Yes it is. I told you the second I knew I was pregnant that I would take what ever risks needed to keep our son alive. I would bear him, I would bear all the wraith of Cruxis, I would live my life in flight if need be! I love you, I love him, if I have you both I'm fine. That's all I ever need. Danger, ha! Kratos there is no safe place in any world or place between the worlds, or under, or whatever nasty hide-y hole Mithos made when he went nuts! I'd live through anything, endure anything, just to be with you. Even if it were safe do you think I'd just meekly wait, ten, twenty years for you to stop playing as Mithos' pet and come back. Kratos I may not live that long. You have eternity, me and Lloyd don't."

Agony, her words were ripping into him, making him bleed. She could see it in his eyes. This was one of the things in him he didn't bring forward, it was one of the slivers of darkness behind the curtain.

_Forgive me beloved but you have to understand, you have to see..._

"Kratos, I will die, you have to come to terms to that. I will die before you, I don't want to see you become another Yuan, please, don't do that to me."

A tremble wracked him, he still did not turn to face her.

"Kratos I love you, I knew what I was going to have to sacrifice for that love. I would never have a normal life, I'd see things, horrible things, and I'd probably die young. I knew that before I ever saw your wings. I.." She blushed, shifted Lloyd. "I was jealous at first, you'd just disappear for long spans of time, I knew you were doing some of the tasks Forcystus did, but I also knew that they weren't taking as long to do as you were gone. So... so I slipped into your room and hid in your closet when you weren't in there."

"You what!" Kratos looked embarrassed, his face was so red that Anna laughed. Luckily for them both Lloyd kept on sleeping.

"You heard me, I was jealous, angry, I just knew you had another woman. I was just your pet, a pawn, it happened to me before and the symptoms looked the same."

Kratos strangled, his face a rich crimson, and for the life of him he could not get a coherent sentence out of himself.

"I was such a little girl Kratos. Hurt, angry, I wanted a reason, any reason, to be dismissed. I wouldn't be killed I know you well enough you wouldn't have me executed... So I figured you valued your privacy, I'd violate that and maybe get beat then forced with all the other prisoners. Then I'd never have to deal with you again." Anna smiled, a cynical smile. "It would hurt you, and the way I was I wanted you to be hurt because I thought I'd make me feel better. So I hid in your closet, and you came in. Or rather you flew in." Anna closed her eyes. "There was blood all over you, all on your sword, your hands, your wings were dripping with it. I was scared to death Kratos, I had been hiding in that closet for hours thinking about how angry I was with you, and I had just started to realize I was just angry with myself. I was about ready to slip out, then you came in."

She waited, Kratos only stared at her in total disbelief.

"I thought you were a monster, I thought you were a demon, I didn't recognize you at first. I'd never seen you like that before, so distant, so cold." She shivered despite herself. "I though you could see me, I thought I was going to die. I ah watched while you cleaned up..." She blushed, looked to Lloyd and wouldn't lift her gaze. "I felt like I was going to be sick, I wanted to get sick, I'd never seen so much blood, so many scars, in my life... but despite that I was worried, you looked like you had gotten hurt really bad. You know even though I wanted to bolt another part of me wanted to run out and help you? I couldn't make up my mind, so I lay pressed against the wall, watching. I realized that you weren't human, or rather you were a different type of human. I also realized that I didn't care. I still cared for you, and I was going to have to grow up. I couldn't be a little girl anymore Kratos, I had to grow up as fast as I could. I realized that if I wanted to keep caring for you I'd have to do things most people wouldn't have to, I'd have to see more things then anyone else would have to, I knew at that point I could never be normal again. So I know that there is danger Kratos, I knew it the second I saw you come back all battered. I knew that I might die, God you might have to kill me yourself just to spare me greater pain. I knew then, I know now, and I live with it. But don't you ever ever use that as an excuse to separate us, ever! I can't be alone Kratos, I wouldn't make it, I don't have anywhere else but with you, but I thought I told you that already?"

"I wont take you to Derris Kharlan Anna, I can't."

"Then like before, find someplace else that you can get to real fast."

"Not the tunnels, Anna it was hard enough on you the first time..."

"I'll live."

"Damn it Anna, do not make me put you in danger."

"You didn't put me anywhere, I decided where I went, I decided to stay with you. Just think of yourself as putting me someplace a little safer, if I had my way me and Lloyd would be at your house."

"Our house damn it, it is _ours_, not mine."

"Well then, is it safe?"

"No, Mithos has easy access to it... Bloody abyss!" Kratos whirled away from them. Looked as if he was going to storm out of the clearing. "Give me a little time I will think of something safer."

"Then," She snapped steel in her tone. "we will discuss it, together."

He froze at that, then nodded.

"Yes, we will." He grimaced. "You have pinned me you know, I can not deny you now that you hold my heart in your hand."

"As you hold mine." She whispered, he jerked, his hearing was after all better then her's ever could be. "I'm sorry I hurt you Kratos."  
"As am I, it was a stupid idea."

"Try to think straight, or come to me when you aren't thinking straight. If nothing else I can call Noishe on you and he can swat you into a tree."

"As if that would help me?"

"It might." She smiled. "You aren't alone Kratos, you have me and Lloyd, don't forget that."

"I wont."

"Good, now scoot, go do your sulking somewhere else, you're curdling my food."

"Scoot?" Kratos muttered to himself as he left the clearing, his mood hovering between insulted and humored. "Scoot?"

He sighed and did as ordered, sulking and scheming aplenty, and when he came back a few hours later he did something he had never done before. He told Anna everything, he lowered one of the curtains and brought forth a sliver of that darkness, and they talked and worried over it while Lloyd played with Noishe. For the first time in his life Kratos did not work alone, and he found great comfort in that.


	19. loyalties

MoonCannon: When I was originally writing this I never considered that I was filling in the details of Kratos' past, nor Mithos, nor Noishe's -Noishe fill in occurs later on in chapter 20 something- Only when I looked back did I realize how big this fic was, and all it filled in. I am glad ( as always) that you are liking it, and I hope the future chapters will please you as well.

Ark Navy: People actually do that, just read the reviews and not look at the fic... I can't imagine that at all, it seems so weird... Well if they are doing that it seems a shame, and they certainly aren't gleaning the plot out of what you guys put in you reviews. Thanks for trying to drag in more victims... err I mean reviewers, and I am glad you are enjoying this fic so much. You know even though I _wrote_ all of this I still get the fuzzy warm feeling when I'm reading certain chapters... Chapter 17 was/is on of those chapters.

MoonlightC: I am looking for a beta reader, the trick will be finding one that specializes in -what was your term?- "technical presentation". I'm doing what little I can, I am going through my old chapters and editing them in my comp, when I have the first ten done I will re-submit then... I doubt I can catch any more grammar errors, but at the very least the town names will be spelled right! I'm glad that you are liking both the Kratos Anna relationship and the Lloyd Kratos fluff that is in this fic. I'll just say this, you think you're a sap for TOS father-son moments I'm probably a thousand times worse! As for Kratos and Anna... I really wanted to see a fic that handled their relationship realistically, so many others had Annagirl Lloyd scenarios... While a few of those were good I just wanted something else, unable to find that "something else" I decided to write it... -laughs- I need to stop reading fanfic... I swear every time I do I wind up writing something like this when I get dissatisfied or if I think of a "what it" question while reading. As for having a "long" review, no problem, you had a lot to say, you made several points, and those points helped me out... I don't really care how long a review is, I just like getting them because it tells me that people are enjoying my stories.

A/N: Speaking of big my word doc I have this saved on now hit the page 114 mark:) bet none of you guessed it was this long hmm...

A/N2: Kind of sounds hypocritical when put on the same chapter as the above... but warning short chapter ahead... I will try to get 20 up by tomorrow... as it is I am working on a late valentines day ficlet with KratosxAnna. Hopefully that too will be up by tomorrow as well.

Chapter 19

loyalties

Lloyd was not happy, he cried quite a bit when Daddy left him in the cold lightless rooms. He loved seeing the sun, seeing the birds, life, he loved life. And now it was cut from him, and he and Anna were alone in the steel tunnels. There was light of corse, moonlight and mana light. But it wasn't the same, it offered light but no warmth. He was cold all the time, he snuggled with his Mommy now constantly just to stay warm. Mommy understood, told him he was being so brave and that when Daddy was done dealing with the bad men they hopeful would never have to come back. She was cold all the time too, and Noishe, Noishe had a warm coat so he wasn't as cold. But he always looked sad, and he'd stare out the window and whimper. Mommy held him a lot now, held him, and sometimes she cried. She never had cried before.

asterics... they wont show up so imagine them here-

Time passed, tortured him. Every time he dared to slip away he saw his family, he saw them dying. The harsh conditions, the cold, the thin air. It was killing them. He could see it in their eyes, could feel it in Anna's weakening pulse when she took his hand. Lloyd... once so full of energy and life was listless, he stared at the world dully. No interest was in his eyes, only a mute suffering. He was cold, Kratos could feel his boy shivering in his grasp, holding onto him with a every weakening grip. he felt those small hands tugging on his tunic, quaking through the fabric of his gloves and cloak, a phantom touch. It followed him, it gave him the rage he would need. He stormed through Mithos' castle, image after image of his families suffering playing through his mind. He all but broke down the doors to the audience hall. Yuan hopped, then seeing his brother seraphim's expression his hand drifted to his sword. Rage pounded in Kratos, but a caution kept him in check. Kept him from acting on that rage. Mithos looked up his eyes twin pools of ice.

"Your late."

"I had reason."

"Really, enlighten me."

"No."

Yuan gapped, dropped his report, then edged for the door. No one in there right mind would talk to Mithos like that. Kratos wasn't talking like a servant to Mithos, he was speaking to him like he did in the old days. Like a teacher who had found something about his student and was going to correct it by raw force. This had the potential to turn ugly. It turned ugly right after Yuan finished that thought. Mithos stood, his eyes churned like a sea storm. Hate, rage, the half elf's face went through a horrid transformation. The lips curled back, the thin brows drew together, and a fierce scowl twisted the angelic looking man's features into a demons.

"What did you just say!"

"You heard me, my reasons are my own. I do as I will, when I will."

"So long as it serves Cruxis!"

"Oh it serves Cruxis boy. Have you taken total leave of your sense!"

"What did you just call-"

"You heard me, where the Hell do you get off destroying Iselia!"

"Iselia is a back wash community why should we be concerned..."

Yuan forgot his terror, his eyes went wide in shock.

"Mithos! Have you forgotten! Martel's vessel is there, the blood of the mana clan resides there!"

"There are other decedents..."

"None fit for this Regeneration. The mother is dead, the father has no ties beyond the fact that there is some very faint elvish blood in his line. The other decedents, do not make me laugh. The other two with the blood, one of them is eighty, and the other went through the Asgard wind dance rite. She can not have children anymore, if she's alive it would be a miracle all on it's own."

Dead quiet filled the room.

"I'll counter that order, Forcystus will not kill off the last decedent of the mana linage."

"Spare the town, leave them alone, honor your treaty."

"Why should I, the are just a pack of filthy humans..."

"You have finally taken leave of your senses Yggdrasil. You have totally forgotten, everything. Look at me, remember what I am, then finish what you were going to say."

"You aren't like them!" The response was a child's whine, though it came from the throat of a full grown man.

"Really?" Kratos voice was pure scorn, he had talked to Mithos like this once, when he caught the boy about ready to kill some petty thief who had picked Martel's pocket. He had physically beat Mithos black an blue, despite Martel's protests. He had made a point, Mithos had always hesitate before killing someone after that. And he never killed for a petty reason, not until Martel died.

Mithos snapped his head up, he knew that tone, he was being scolded. His lips curled in a snarl, he stood, shoved the chair behind him, so forcefully it's legs broke. He met Kratos' eyes, the grey of a storm coated the sky blue orbs. Hate, raw bleeding hate radiated off of his old pupil.

"I'm not your student, I'm not the young puppy that followed you around. I'm an adult, I am your better in mana and strength."

"Yes you are not my student, but power hasn't made you that."

"Oh really, and what did Kratos?"

"You just did." Kratos stood. "Spare the child of mana and her village, or prepare to deal with Zelos as the vessel of your hopes."

"My lord..." Yuan was actually knelling on the floor, his show of servitude nauseated his fellow Seraphim. "Kratos does have a point."  
Kratos only went for the door.

"Where the Hell are you going Kratos, you weren't dismissed!"

Kratos only grabbed the door handle, turned it.

"You will answer me!" A foot stomped down, so childish a gesture that was both humourous and terrifying at the same time.

"No, I wont. I do as I will, when I will, by what means I will."

"You are my servant!" Yggdrasil shrieked. "I made you what you are! I gave you power! Without me you'd just have been some wandering mercenary, with no one, with nothing!"

Kratos stood still, and Yggdrasil purred an apology. He beckoned Kratos to return to the table. Kratos trembled, not in fear as Yggdrasil thought, but rage. How far they had all fallen, how bloody far. He clenched his hand, felt the crystal door nob shatter under his hand. He paused, and almost in a detached mood, pulled out each shard of bloody gem. He tossed the remains, all coated in blood, to the floor. They tinged against the onyx, and sent small splatters of blood at his feet. Still with his back to the others Kratos ripped off the edge of his white cloak and wound it around his bloody hand.

"Kratos, are you alright?" Yuan hissed out of the corner of his mouth. Still distant from the world Kratos looked down and saw a large pool of crimson, his hand was in bad shape, but he wouldn't die from it. Not like they were dying, in the cold metal Hell below his feet.

"I will be traveling to Sylvarant, to do as I always do. Make an identity, wander around, and when the time comes I will go to the oracle in Iselia and wait. Make sure I have something to go to Yggdrasil."

There was a sharp hiss, he could feel the mana build in the room.

"I don't have time for your posing Yggdrasil, either kill me now or realize the value of what I said and act on it."

"You arrogant human.. I'll..."

Kratos whipped around sword leading in his bloody hand. Instinct made Yggdrasil fall silent as the sword was pressed against his throat. It was only a steel blade, it could not puncture, or wound, the old hero's Angelic flesh. It took a moment for Yggdrasil to remember this, another moment passed and he stared at his mentor who had just denounced him. Kratos' eyes were distant, he looked through Yggdrasil as if he wasn't there. It was the same gaze he turned on anyone who threatened his friends.

"Get out." Yggdrasil hissed. "Get out, both of you!"  
"As you wish." Kratos could feel his son still in his arms, could feel the shaking, and it made him shake in response. When he paused by the door, looked to Yggdrasil. The leader of Cruxis was troubled, then sensing the scrutiny lifted his head up and snarled.

He had more important things to do then waste his time here.

He had a family to get back to.

asteric goes here...-

Kratos had looked at him as if he was an enemy.

There was no remorse, only a bitter pain, a hint of grief, and Yggdrasil realized that for his old friend, his old mentor, he was dead. Kratos sheathed his sword and stood waiting, in any other situation retribution wold have been swift and brutal. Kratos knew that he now was going to die and looked at it with what... hope? Mithos didn't know. He couldn't read Kratos. He dismissed them both then, and they left with what... relief? Well Yuan looked relieved, Kratos.. He couldn't tell anymore. Hovering his wings a whirl of movement Mithos Yggdrasil stood in the center of the room. He could still feel the pressure of Kratos' sword against his throat. He could still see those dark empty eyes, and feel a sharp void in him.

Kratos had looked at him in anger before, scorn, and once in a while with compassion and friendship.

_He remembered once, when Martel was alive but very sick, how he had cried. _

Kratos watched for a bit, he always watched. His eyes were the only thing he offered to them, he was the most grudging member of their little journey to save Sylune, a small city being attacked by brigands. Kratos had worked for the brigands, had walked along side them and despite knowing that, Martel had healed him.

_Mithos was angry about that, this Kratos guy was a real meanie! He stared and watched and said nothing. But when he fought, Mithos could tell Yuan was jealous, he was jealous too. No full blood elf could move with such grace, such animal motion, strike with such perfection. No half elf could either._

_Feeling those eyes on him Mithos tried to stop crying, he really did._

_But he couldn't. _

_Martel was sick, but he couldn't help her, he was scared she was going to die._

_"You do this often?"_

_Mithos whipped around, he wanted to be angry but all he could do was keep crying._

_"How old are you?"  
"Te-twelve..." This was weird, Kratos never asked anyone anything before. "Wh-why?" _

_"You are too young to be here, you should be home. But I'm guessing by the looks of you and your sister you have no home to go to."_

_"Because you and your brigands burned it down!"_

_"My brigands?" Kratos rose an eyebrow, a flicker of scorn in his dark eyes. "They are not mine boy, they just are. They are the hated, the despised, the refuse of the towns, and they bind themselves to their hate and lash out. Your town just happened to be in their way."_

_"I'm not a boy, I'm twelve!"_

_"I am twenty three, I am your elder, and you are a child in my eyes. When you are a man, provided we both live long enough to see that day, I will address you as one." _

_"You're mean!"_

_"Really? If I was I would kill all your friends, take their heads, and go back to the camp. They would let me back in, after all I only broke a small rule. And the profit I would reap from your collective deaths would buy me a life of ease."_

_Mithos went pale, he was scared, if all this human had to do was kill them..._

_"I am however, not, going to do that."_

_The young half elf's head whipped up._

_"Why not?" Then he blushed, realized what he had just said._

_"I have my reasons. As long as Yuan continues to give her the tea I made your sister will recover." _

_"Why are you helping us?"_

_"Because I owe your sister a debt, and as an Aurion, I pay my debts." There was something funny in Kratos' eyes, some strange thing that Mithos saw in Martel's all the time. "You should get some sleep, you look worn out."_

_"I..I'm not sleepy." he yawned despite himself._

_"Yeah right kid, and I am the king of Tethe'alla. Get to bed."_

_"I lost my blankets at the river..."  
Kratos reached into his own packs and tossed something at Mithos' feet. In surprise the half elf lifted the bundle out. It didn't smell good, but it was a blanket._

_"What will you sleep on?"_

_"My back, the ground, it is nothing new. Get to sleep, you can't cast spells if you yawn all the time, right?"_

_"Err right?"_

_Kratos said nothing, only pulled out his sword and began to polish it. And the funny thing was that Mithos wasn't scared anymore. Kratos promised that he wouldn't hurt them. And in a really weird way it was comforting to have the merce- whatever he was- on there side. Because he kept his promises, all of them._

"Was I bad Kratos?" His voice was a child's, he had lost control and changed back. "Did I do something wrong?"

There was no one to respond he was alone.

asterics go here-

"Daee!" Kratos smiled, or tried to. Lloyd would have run across the room faster then a arrow and attached himself to his daddy's leg. He was enthusiastic, but tired. Anna lifted her head from where she lay, she was taking another nap. For a moment Kratos felt guilty, he should allow her to rest, she needed it. The news he had though would hopefully bring her a bit of cheer and energy.

"Hello, been busy?"

"Unun, swepin."

"Sweeping?" Kratos allowed a hint of confusion to enter his voice. He knew what Lloyd was saying, he just wanted Lloyd to try to say it right.

"Sloopin?"

"Easy Lloyd, don't hurt yourself." Anna muttered from her nest of blankets. "What are you doing here Kratos? I though it wasn't safe..."

"It is now, after what I did earlier Yggdrasil will want nothing to do with me for a millennia."

"What did you do now?"

"I p-" Anna's eyes narrowed. "Err made him mad. If he is not somewhere chewing carpet I owe myself twenty gald."

"huh... So what does that mean for us?"  
"We will be out of here in a few hours."

Anna smiled, though she looked so horribly tired. Lloyd whooped, hugged Daddy's leg, and would not let go. But still he trembled with that wretched fatigue. But it would soon be over, soon they would be safe. He would do anything to keep them that way too.


	20. Izoold

MoonCannon: As always thanks MoonCannon for your steady reviews.

FairyV: I'm responding to your review from chapter one. First off, yes I view what you said as constructive criticism. I didn't even know I was writing in slang because those sayings are such an ingrained part of speech where I live I didn't even notice them. It's good that you pointed that out, I'll fix the ones I can catch when I do that edit I was talking about earlier... As for training, I'm self trained, I taught myself with wildly informal methods, so technically I'm not really trained at all. It's because of that I miss grammar, slang, and other small details -it didn't help that I slept a lot during school when I was younger- that you and other readers seem to catch.

By the way, how did you guess where I live? You're the first person to get it right too... Yes I'm from North America, a citizen of the US, "and all that jazz" as one of my professors is so fond of saying.

And well in my comp the chapter count is up to 41 and I'm not done yet... Keep in mind all those chapters are in RD format, so I have to fix them up before I toss them here, but the RD uncompleted fic is 41 chapter and only 30 or so pages shy of 400. So yeah, this is a TOS novel.

Now on with the next installment...

Izoold

Chapter 20

Lloyd lay in their arms. Held by both mother and father he slept. He had had another nightmare, the one where he would wake up screaming. He never told them about it, he just would stare at them for a long moment. Then the tears would start. Nothing they could do or say would sooth those tears, and he would fall asleep in their arms with a wet face. First they thought it to be Noishe's absence, and after a long talk they decided to let the protozoan back into their son's room. It didn't work, he still was having nightmares. Anna was asleep, she had fallen asleep right after Lloyd, only he was awake. Kratos sighed softly, and looked at their son in wonder. He was two, barely two, and he was waking up with horrors.

Kratos had woken up with horrors after his first battle, after his first murder, but certainly not at this young age. He tried to remember, tried to recall being younger, but couldn't . He could fuzzily remember that he had nightmares, but he had to have been older because he was by himself. He had been alone most of his life though...

Lloyd yawned, stirred a bit, and rolled over so that he was facing his Father. His dark brown eyes warmed as he recognized his Daddy, and he reached over. Kratos winced as his hair was tugged, but Lloyd was not so rough, he only gave it a small little tug.

"Daee!"

"Good morning Lloyd." Kratos kept his voice to a whisper. "Shh Mommy's sleeping... we need to be quiet."

"Daee..." Lloyd squirmed a little, Kratos knew that look. Lloyd was up for the time being. "Sowy."

"Sorry? Why are you apologizing?" Kratos tilted his head to the side and Lloyd giggled quietly.

Lloyd squirmed a little more and Kratos scooted back a bit. Lloyd, using his Father as a prop found his feet. He was walking a bit now, clumsy, but doing well for someone so young. Lloyd flopped down, buried his Father in a hug, or rather his Father's face. Lloyd giggled a little louder as his Father gently scooped him up, and carried him from the room. Anna would be angry when she woke up, for he didn't start the fire. But Kratos didn't feel comfortable placing Lloyd on the floor while he placed the heavy slabs of wood in the grate, while he worked with the flint. He also was not exposing his son to mana of any type.

Anna would just have to deal with being cold, and he would have to deal with Anna's anger at being woken up cold.

Noishe saw them leave the room, and with a quiet good morning bark padded into the bedroom. Well Anna wouldn't wake up cold, but she'd wake up mad anyways.

Lloyd giggled again, reached for the upraised tail as it passed. Noishe, a long time veteran of Lloyd tail pulling fetish, merely dipped his tail while he passed the Aurion men and whipped it back up as he pushed open the door. There was a pause, a creek, and a few muttered words by Anna.

"Uh oh!"

"Uh oh indeed, hmm I believe we should make a strategic retreat about now. Let us go for a quick stroll Lloyd."

"Walk!"

Then there was another good morning bark followed shortly by a shriek.

"Kratos! Get your dog out of our room!"

She was talking to an empty house however, her menfolk had wisely made themselves scarce.

(one of these has to show up whatever one it is will be my new asteric symbol)

"You Kratos are in so much trouble!"

"Mrs. Aurion, whatever have I done wrong?"

Kratos had decided to make himself scarce for a few hours, hoping time would dull his wife's anger. He and Lloyd had strolled on the beach of Izoold for an hour. He had a pleasant time watching Lloyd chase after seagulls and watching crabs. There had been a quick scare when one of those crabs had gotten annoyed enough to chase Lloyd. He dealt with the situation, sparing the animal, and by way of two sticks carried it to the ocean. Now he was home, and Anna was giving him heck over that morning. With the sea in his nostrils and Lloyds laughter still in his ears Kratos could not find it in himself to be annoyed.

"Where have you been?"

"Out, a little walk."

"Before sun rise!"

"Lloyd was up and filled with energy. I figured you would wish to keep sleeping..."

"Humph!"

"Amazing, our positions are reversed."

Lloyd oblivious to his parents anger went on playing with the stuffed animal Kratos had just bought him. It was impulsive, Kratos knew that such little impulses would whittle away at there tight income, but he couldn't help himself. Anna was angry about the cold, the splurge on his part, and probably his strange behavior.

"Kratos we are running low on money and..."

"Is it really that important?" Anna looked ready to snap out a response, but Kratos firmly turned her so she could see their son. "Does it really mean that much Anna? Look how happy he is, all for what, a piece of gald?" He drew her to him, she leaned on him and he enfolded her in a hug. "It is not that important, we can make do with little, we have both done so before, and if it gets really bad I can cheat. You know that."

"Oh Kratos I don't want you to have to fight to make money, I don't..."

"I wont, not if I do not have to." He kissed her, regarded Lloyd with somber eyes. "Not just for you, but for him."

Anna sighed, then ribbed him. He mock winced, and Anna seeing an opening fell on his lowered guard with playful fingers. He laughed, strangled, and was down in less then a minute. Anna sat on her _kill_ and Noishe came in to deliver the finishing strike. He struggled, squirmed, but Anna held him down while Noishe tried his best to lick off the seraphim's face.

"Late again are we?"

Kratos winced, he had hoped that his employer would miss seeing him slip in. It was strange after four millennia to be given orders by someone weaker then himself. He held a lot of scorn for the tar smeared man. Urik was a crude, blunt, and unclean man. He also had a foul mouth, and an even fouler temper.

"What en Hell ye standin' there for, git to work. No pay fer today though, 'cuz ye were late o' course."  
Kratos grimaced, considered protesting.

"An' no story 'bout yer family keepin' ye. I don't give a rat's ass one way or the other what kept ye."

"Understood."

Swallowing his rage Kratos sighed and went to the docks. A multitude of fishing boats were suspended by rope and wenches above the sea. Urik's employees would tend to the various leaks and patch ups that were needed. And then after a day the boat would be put back in water. If one of the men's patch ups failed all of the men would get no pay. Men who had no skill were swiftly culled out of the business, many were even beaten. They had tried that with Kratos, he had failed two ships in a row with the same group. They had come after him at his home, had threatened his wife and son.

None of those men had made it back to there homes. There were rumors of course, but nothing ever came of them, no bodies were found, no proof that they even had come to the Aurion house. Kratos was very thorough about tending all the little details.

Despite those rumors he was actually regarded as a bit of a challenge by some of the women in the small port town. He had women flirting with him, vying for his attention, even though he was married. And simply saying he was wed would not deture them, how Zelos could eventoleratit was beyond him. _He_ felt much like a deerwho was beingbeaded by a master marksman, and took no pleasure from that sensation.

As it was he really didn't know how to take all the attention, as a young man he had been consumed by duty and self preservation. He served loyally any who paid him, drifted from job to job, and when he finally joined up with Martel's little expedition he had fallen in with Martel's ideals. Oh he hadn't believed them all, he agreed more with Mithos' edicts then Martel's, but he lived by both of those codes as best as he could. He had spent years working along side the half elven outcasts, had part through mishap and plan actually stopped the ancient Kharlan wars. Now after all of that, and a massive span of life as a Seraphim, he was reduced to this. Laying under these elevated boats, applying tar, and wooden planks to holes.

"Hey Ruian!" One of his more friendly co-workers smiled to him, he was missing a tooth, and already covered in tar. "Late yet again huh?"

"Aye," He picked up what he needed with a grimace. "How is Issia doing?"

"Well, very well. Pregnant again. And your Anna, how's she doing?"

"Congratulations." Kratos smiled, he liked Syt a little. The man was simple, but good intentioned. Not malicious, or desperate, as were most of Urik's employees. "She is in good health, a little snippy."

"Aye, aren't all women? I hear a dog beat you this morning."

"Noishe? Oh yes, but he had help."

Syt laughed, his wife and Anna were very close. Syt would know everything his wife knew, for they both had a very honest relationship. The Syt'sloved to talk, Anna loved to talk, and for the first time in a very long time Kratos had visitors frequent his house. Well it was _their_ house, not just his. Lloyd was adored by the Syt family, while Anna adored the three children of the fisher folk. Kratos didn't exactly like the Syt's children, they seemed more noisy, annoying, but he wiselynever mentioned it. Asboth menducked under the slender belly of the first fishermans ship Syt kept talking, all about his family, his kids, and his wife, his parents. Kratos grudgingly tossed out slivers of information, was a little vague, but that never bothered Syt. Syt respected Kratos' privacy, never really pried, he just chattered away to cover Kratos' extended silences. Soon all chatter died down, the other co-workers came up to the boat and began to work.

It was strange really, he would lay on his back for hours. Over his head a boat hung, a series of planks a rude frame, that had wooden supports that connected to the platform where Urik's workers lay. They all lay, a few feet apart, side by side, passing wood or small buckets of tar back and forth.

Such a closeness did not lead to a great deal of comradery though. Most of the men did their jobs sullen faced, worked, and prayed that their efforts would reap them some pay. Kratos didn't much care for the workers attitudes, and Syt didn't either, they both took pide and effort in what they did if not pleasure. The other men were drones, they did as ordered then stopped. Obviously they didn't understand that their pay would probably be more likely if they put more into the work then slapping tar and wood and praying to Martel it held.

They worked for five hours, then came out of the wooden cave and ate. During the lunch break Syt sat by his silent friend, a thoughtful look on his face. Kratos, as always. was grinding up the bread of his sandwich and tossing out to the sea. The seagulls did quick swoop and dive stunts at the edge of the dock, all vying for the bread Kratos tossed them.

"Nice how you fed the birds an' all..." Syt bit into his own sandwich, his eyes curious. "You know, this I'll seem mighty strange, but I can't think of a time I saw you eat a full meal."

"Anna stuffs me before I leave the house each morning."

"Huh, I've seen the size of her dinners an' all, they don't seem all that big."

"I have a delicate stomach."

"Ahh, 'K then, you don't want me to pry, I wont, sorry."

"You were not prying, merely concerned. Do not worry, I am in good health, and I wont suffer any from my somewhat strange eating habits."

"Aye, just don't make yourself sick. But if you do fall on it rough, you know that we'll always chip in 'til you catch your feet, right?" At Kratos silence Syt snorted. He had picked that up from being with Kratos and Anna for so long. "Didn't know did ya? You're a stubborn man Ruian, you draw on no one save yourself. Well you have friends, well me and my family at least. So if you need anything, anything at all, you just ask and we'll help."

"Thanks..."

"And if you don't ask we'll nose around and if we think you need something and are bein' stubborn we'll ram it down your throat till you take it."

Kratos glared at the fisherman and the man just shrugged off the glare. He had learned working with Kratos these past few weeks to shrug off glares and sarcasm. In Syt's mind they were friends, Kratos was just a strange man, a good person, just a little off. So Syt shrugged off the glare like so many others he had received.

"What if I said the rumors about me were true?"

"Which ones?" Syt smiled, then shrugged. "You mean the one where you might of killed those other boat patchers? The ones that were talkin' about pealing off your hide and usin' it on the next boat."

"It was not my hide they were after, they were going to kill my wife and son to teach me a lesson."

Syt looked at Kratos for a long moment, he had after all just confessed to murder. Syt scratched at the his scraggly chin, he was trying to grow out a beard, or so he claimed. Kratos figured the boat patcher was just doing it to irritate his wife. After a full minute Syt shrugged, bent down to retrieve the bucket of oil.

"I'd say, good for you. You saved your wife and kid from some damn nasty minded brigands. Oh they might have been fisher folk by profession but they were brigands at heart. They attacked the weaker people here, steal what pay they earn, then threaten the stronger ones families." Syt's hand clenched around the bucket's handle, it was so tight that the knuckle paled. "I'd say you did more then I ever could."

"I apologize, I was unaware."

"And if you were would you have dolled out justice on them?"

"Yes," Syt looked up startled at the ice in his friends tone. "I probably wouldn't have killed them, it all depends on what they did to you, and how long they have been doing this to others."

"Aye you got some cold bits in you don't you?" A flicker of a thought came into Syt's eyes. A glimmer of fear. "You never told me what you did before you came here."

"I never did." Kratos agreed, his voice quiet.

"We're friends aren't we? You can come clean with old Syt."

"Really?" Kratos' lip curled in a dark smile. "I was a mercenary, I have left that life and its sins behind me. But they are many, those dark deeds, and they run deep."

"Aye, that's what the sea is for friend. We come here to clean away the past when it needs to be cleaned."

Kratos turned to the ship patcher with a humored smile on his lips.

"You are wise Syt."

"Nah, just been livin' here too long. You get corny after a while, lookin' at the water all the time. Speakin' of lookin' I'm thinking we need to go get lookin' at the next ship."

Taking the hint Kratos picked up the bucket of tar and joined the ship patcher in his work.

(asterics here)

There was no knock, the houses main door swung open. Kratos jerked, fell out of his near meditative trance, and firmly disentangled Anna's arm from around his neck. Anna muttered something, then rolled over, fell deeper into sleep. Kratos pulled himself out of bed, then snatched his sword from where it lay propped up against the wall. Not bothering with the belt, or even clothes, he padded across the room, broadsword in hand. He quietly opened the door, and say a dark form across the room that served as kitchen and living quarters to the Aurion house hold. Whoever it was, their back was turned, and they thoughtfully closed the door behind them.

Huh, that didn't make sense, thieves normally didn't close and lock the door behind them, it closed a good escape route.

Which meant that Kratos wasn't dealing with a thief, a person with a more sinister thought in mind would think to close the door, and lock it behind them. It closed an escape route for his victims.

In the darkness Kratos slid, his sword drawn. Whoever it was they were having a problem of some sort. He moved to re-open the door. Kratos didn't give him that chance. He covered the length of the room, and slammed his opponent into the wall. There was a rip of fabric, a grunt, then the intruder was pinned against the wall. A fistful of tunic in one hand the ex-mercenary lifted his foe, in the other he pressed his sword against the throat of the would be...

"Kratos, it's me, Syt!"

Startled the Seraphim took a step back, loosed the fisherman.

"My Goddess, Anna wasn't joking when she said never to come here after you all turned in."

"What is the meaning of this?" Kratos' voice was pure malice, and Sty shook at the tone. The fisherman swallowed, gathered his courage and his feet.

"There was some stranger in town, at the pub... He was asking about a mercenary and his slave... I didn't tell anyone, I was just taken old Kith home 'cuz he was couldn't do it himself.. I over heard it..."

Kratos swallowed, ordered himself to remain calm.

"The person did not see you?"

"No, I heard it through a window, Kith was ahh out back, so I went there to fetch him and take him home."

"You did not run straight here?"  
"Hell no, what do you think I am stupid!"

Kratos smiled a little at that, pulled the man to his feet. Syt was staring openly at the seraphim's scared form.

"Sweet goddess, what the Hell happened to you?"

"A lot." Kratos stepped back into the concealing shadows and leaned his sword against the nearest wall. "You should go home. I probably wont be in tomorrow.. or the day after that."

"One of your enemies I take it? You need some help?"

"No, if things go badly then you wont be seeing us ever again. And if you ever do I highly recommend you do not remember me."

Syt shook his head.

"Damn it, let me help! I can fight, if that's what needs doing."

"I have to talk to Anna... you may or may not see me tomorrow, I do not know what will happen. Regardless, thank you for what you have done for us."

"Heh, that's what a friend's for. Hey, is Anna naked? I always wanted to see..."

"Get out!"

"Damn it, take care of yourself, and hopefully it turns good for you and your family."

"If I am here tomorrow your wife will hear about what you just said about mine."

Noishe at that point came charging out of Lloyd's room, teeth bared. A hissed word on Kratos' part made the protozoan skid to a stop and lay down. Syt took one look at the protozoan and swallowed. Though Noishe was on the floor he looked up at Syt teeth bared in a mute snarl.

"Nice doggy, don't kill me, I'm leavin' right now..."

The second Syt was gone Kratos hissed a line in the angelic language. With a yalp Noishe ran to Lloyd's room to stand watch. From thierroom Kratos could hear Anna just beginning to wake up. He wasted a moment cursing in angelic then went to Anna, to break the news that they might have to go on the run yet again.


	21. Matter of Trust

Matter of Trust

Chapter 21

Kratos came back two weeks after the stranger left Izoold. The autumn winds stirred his short sleeve tunic, tousled his bandana and what hair that it did not slick down. He paused for just a moment tasted the sea laden wind with its touch of ice. He walked through the town in mid-day, when all the fisher folk were out in the seas, were occupied with their tasks. Those few he saw, those too elderly or too young to be set to task, he said no word to them. He made no move towards the pub that so many of his co-workers frequented when they decided that they would have a day off. His somber eyes warned off any who would think to talk to him. His eyes were filled with shadows, though he had cleaned himself of his deeds, there was blood on his hands. Any who knew him could see it, could see it in the distant way he took in all around him. Luckily there were very few he knew, very few who knew how to read the darkness in his eyes. He picked his way across the dusty road, passed his neighbors homes with only a slight glance. At one home he actually paused, paused to look at it. Seeing nothing wrong he went on his way, mounted the familiar two steps and on the porch of his house he hesitated.

A familiar barking on the other end made him smile. He whistled a shrill note, and the barking stopped, or rather it changed. Once aggressive the barking became joyful. He turned the handle, and before he could take a step into the house was bowled over by a hundred pounds of protozoan. He was actually knocked off of his feet, and sent sprawling onto the small wood deck. His vision was filled with green and silver, he squirmed, tried to avoid it. The tongue came out, and Kratos could do nothing more then endure the licking.

Laughter, he heard Anna's laughter, and after the days of silence he had endured it was a welcome sound. Noishe barked, sat on his master's chest and proceeded to take advantage of his new found weight and power and lick Kratos all the more.

"Noshy, enough!" Anna whistled and the protozoan with a happy bark hopped off of the Seraphim. "Well look at what the dog dragged in... or more accurately, what the dog threw out."

Noishe barked, his tail wagged madly.

"That..was not my.. idea... My God Anna... what have you been... feeding him?" Kratos rubbed his chest, told his lungs that they were free to draw as much air as they wished.

"What you do, he's been going through a growth spurt, again."

"Huh," Kratos took in the protozoan, before he had left the protozoan was level with his waist, now Noishe could at least reach Kratos' chest. "I wonder how big he is going to get?"

"No idea." Anna looked at him, saw the darkness in his eyes and a faint sadness touched her face. "Was it bad?"

"Not as bad as it could have been, we will talk about my business trip inside." Kratos pulled himself to his feet. Noishe swatted him, and the Seraphim dodged the attack. "That is enough Noishe." At his tone the protozoan whined, and cocked his head. "I need to rest, it was a bit of a hike to get back in town."

"A hike... there's no rough areas until the Ossa..." Catching his look Anna let the thought go. "Alright dear, lets get you cleaned up for lunch at least."

"Lunch sounds nice..." Kratos closed his eyes, allowed a bit of wariness to touch his face. "What I probably need is to lay down for a bit after we are done eating."

Anna only held open the door for him. And he entered his home while Anna tended to him the best she could. When Anna went back to close the door she froze, one of the fisher folk wives stared at her, one of the nastier ones. Telling herself that it didn't matter Anna closed the door, then firmly locked it.

Xxxxx xxxx xxx xx

Kratos didn't sleep, merely lay on the floor watching Lloyd snuggle with his stuffed rabbit. He matched his breathing with his little boys, and watched him sleep. There was a touch of envy in his eyes, he envied that his boy could sleep and he could not. He was also grateful, eternally grateful that the existence he endured would not be inflicted on his son. Anna yawned, watching Lloyd sleep always made her sleepy.

It was mid afternoon, a few hours after Kratos had come back. They had yet to talk about the trip, they only enjoyed the moment with each other and their son. Most other people would not have. He could see any other woman nagging him, demanding details, or making small chat to break the silence.

Anna was different though, she had learned to enjoy each moment, to savor it. Being what he was Kratos savored every moment that had to do with life. He enjoyed the silences of life, because they were not silent. The beating of a heart, the whisper of breath being drawn. A soft muttered word, the affection that could dwell in the eye. Those things he lived for, and Anna shared that love of life with him. She smiled, sat on the floor as quietly as she could, and watched as he watched. He felt her hand grasp his hand, felt the pressure of her touch, felt the whisper of her pulse as if thrummed against the skin of her hand. He smiled, but did not need to look away from Lloyd. Her fingers playfully caressed his palm.

"I've missed you." She whispered softly, after a long span of time.

"As I you beloved."

And that was all that was needed. No other words were nessicary. Hearing a familiar voice Lloyd cracked open an eye. He saw his father and fully woke up.

"Daee!"

Kratos was then buried in a tackle. Well it was more of a fall, as Lloyd firmly wrapped his small arms around his father in a bear hug. Lloyd giggled, looked over his "daee" shoulder, and the seraphim was tackled by someone a little more adept at the art then his Son. Noishe barked into Kratos' ear, and Lloyd nestled into his father's shoulder. Anna wisely retreated before the protozoan decided to drag her into the pile too.

"Men," She snorted. "Why must you tackle each other all the time to show affection?"

Noishe whined and cocked his head, then aptly put a paw on the back of the seraphim's head. Having his face pressed against the wooden floor Kratos couldn't reply. Noishe went into a string of yalps and whines that almost sounded like he was trying to explain. Anna laughed, reached down, ruffled his fur, then bent down and tweaked her husbands wild hair.

"Sorry Noshy I don't talk dog. Explain to Kratos then maybe he can explain it to me. Well since you all are keeping each other busy I'll go out for a bit. I need to pick up some food at the market. Noshy be a good boy, and keep these two out of trouble while I'm gone."

Noishe barked, and his tail smacked into the Seraphim's leg as it wagged.

"Good dog, now I'll be back in a bit."

"He's not a dog!" Kratos managed to gasp, Noishe smacked him with a paw, and the seraphim glared at his _pet_.

Noishe only barked a goodbye, then plopped down to get more comfortable.

"Fuzzy!" Lloyd chirped, snuggled with the massive protozoan. Kratos was little more then a rug for them both. Then his son crawled a little bit and found his daee's hair. Kratos winced as his boy's hands descended and began their inevitable tugging.

Xxxx xxxx xxxx xxx xx.

"Well well well this is a sight to be seein' no doubt of that."

Kratos snapped an eye open, and glared at Syt as he came in his hands loaded with a basket full of food. Anna came in behind him, and Syt's wife after his own. Syt's wife tittered, and Anna rolled her eyes.

"Your Anna was sayin' how you were weighed down and all, but Goddess I didn't think she was serious about it!"

"That is quite enough, someone help me!"

"And wake up your tyke? Naw, we'll just leave your food in front of you and you can eat it with your dog."

Kratos snarled an oath into the floor boards, Noishe smacked him.

"Heh, I think he thinks he's master of the house now."  
"Damn it Syt, help me."

"Noshy, Kratos said a bad word, smack him again please."

Kratos winced as the paw hit him.

Syt's wife, a plump dark haired woman was all but crying in laughter. Anna smiled a smug self satisfied smile and went to the fire place to begin making dinner. The obviously pregnant Issia joined Anna, and they began to cook and talk of woman things. Syt was only leaning against the wall, taking in the sight of Kratos pinned under Noishe.

"Never thought I'd see the day you were bested."

"Shut up and help me!"

"Noshy..."

Kratos was yet again hit.

"This is just rich!" Issia's shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter. "Anna, could I borrow you dog sometime?"

"No you may not!" Kratos gasped, he flinched but the paw never came down.

"Aye, don't think about it woman! You just stick to poisenin' me with your cooking!"

"I cook wonderful meals!"

"For dead folk you do!"

"Why is it every time you come here we get dragged into your domestic issues?" Kratos grumbled.

Noishe, having enough, walked off the seraphim. The protozoan thoughtfully picked Lloyd up by the scruff of his tunic, and placed him gently on the floor some distance away. With a groan Kratos straightened, rubbed his back, though it did not ache nor did he feel any strain from being trapped in the same position for a few hours. He could have lain like that for several more hours and not felt a twing of discomfort.

"Dunno? Hey, take a look there."

Kratos turned, and saw to his wonder that Noishe was looking at Lloyd with a thoughtful expression on his canine face. With a whimper Noishe nudged Lloyd and when the boy's face was tilted just the way he wanted it to be he began to lick. He groomed the youngest Aurion, slicked hair back until it looked as much like Kratos' as the protozoan could manage.

"Oh Noshy, bad dog, uhh now I have to give Lloyd another bath..."  
Kratos smiled, and Noishe winked at him.

It was nice to have a pet that had a sense of justice.

Xxxx xxx xxx * 

"So how'd your trip go?" Syt asked over the stew Anna had prepared. Kratos glared at the man and Anna flinched. That was not a safe question, or topic. But after having been caught up on all that he had missed it was now the Aurion's turns to talk. If only it hadn't been that subject.

"Well enough."

"May I ask why you suddenly disappeared?"

"You can, I wont answer though."

"Ruian, we're friends aren't we? At least tell me why you can't tell me!"

Kratos sighed, moved the food around in his bowl. He had eaten all of five bites, much to the Syt's family worry. Having friends made it very difficult to keep his cover, and Kratos was regretting being as open with them as he had been.

"My past is very dark, I have several enemies in high places." Anna coughed, excused herself. Said something about checking on Lloyd. "These enemies have the power and resources to destroy villages, to send assassins, I have to be on my guard and make sure that their agents do not find us."

"What'd you do to..."

"I exist, and possess free will, that is enough for them."

"How long you've been runnin'?"

"Long enough."

"How long Ruian?"

"Almost four years now."

Dead quiet, a tense quiet. Kratos sighed, ground a bit of bread in his hands and tossed it in the stew. He pushed the bowl away from himself, stood.

"I wish you'd telled us sooner Ruian, there might be somethin' we could do to help you out. There anymore secrets we need to know about?"

"If I tell you anymore you would both be in grave peril. I would have no choice but to kill you, because what I know would destroy everything for you. And if you so much as thought on it, and the wrong person was about, Izoold would be little more then a ruin."

Syt swallowed, his wife looked frightened.

"How much does Anna know?"

"Enough to guarantee that if those I flee from capture her, question her, she will face years of torment."

"She has one of those ex-sphere things that the Desians make, doesn't she?" Issia whispered.

"Yes," Anna had told him to do this, had told him to break what news he dared. "The Desian's are one of our many enemies."

"You certainly have a way of makin' some mighty powerful folks ticked, you know that?"

"It is a habit."

"More like a hobby." Anna grumbled, she came back from Lloyd's room.

"I thought you did not want to be present for this?"

"Like I'd abandon you, or trust you, to break something like this gently."

"Anna, how could you..." Issia began.

"I love Ruian, I endure it. Just makes life interesting, that's all."

"Aye, you're a brave one lass... Here I am gettin' faint hints of the storm and all and I'm still quakin' like a babe."

"It takes some getting used to." Anna sighed. "Come on Issia, lets go for a walk."

Kratos snapped his gaze up, shifted his eyes from Anna to Issia. Anna catching the look nodded. They had discussed this in Angelic, and had agreed that if Anna felt Issia couldn't take it the women would go for a walk. Obviously Anna dubbed Syt's wife not to be strong enough to bear what little more was to be said.

"That.. that was planed wasn't it?"

"Yes," Kratos sighed, forced himself to sit though he felt more like pacing. "It was."

"Your real name isn't Ruain isn't it?"

"No, I can not tell you my real name. That alone would damn this whole town to instant annihilation. Of my enemies those you can help me with are the Desian's... the others are far too powerful for one man to challenge. You asked me what you can do to help me, now I ask knowing just the edge of all of this, will you still help me?"

"We're friends." Kratos blinked, and for once he was shook, caught off guard. "I don't abandon my friends, not ever, even when they're in deep."

"If only I was worthy of such a comrade as yourself..."

"Oh shut up Ruian! You've helped my family, taught me and my kids how to read, and you've covered for my ass more times then I can remember. Ask and you'll have it."

"Be watchful, keep an eye out for Desians, half-elves can pose as humans but there are ways to snif them out. Once I teach you that, what I will need from you is a way to make sure you always keep your guard up. And if any come asking for me, no matter the story they weave, no matter the guise they wear, do not tell them of Anna. And if there is any good in you, you will not even think of my son while they are around. If they capture him..." Kratos swallowed, looked to the dying fire. "I would rather not think of that, what they did to Anna was horrid enough. Even though it has been four years, she still bleeds when she thinks of what they did to her."

"What..."

"I do not know all of it, and what I do know is frankly non of your damned business! It is between me and Anna, and Lloyd, when he is old enough to understand."

"Alright, I'll help you, I'll protect you best as I can. And if they come we'll hide Anna, and your boy, and you, if need be."

Kratos lowered his head into his hands. A familiar sickness was in him. He was dragging innocents into this, sacrificing those who were willing. If he did that then what kind of man was he, worse then Mithos most certainly. Syt didn't even know all of it, just a sliver. In this the man was as much a victim as the poor soul who was chosen for world regeneration.

"Don't go beaten yourself up for this Ruian. And thank you, for what you've told me. I'll be seein' you tomorrow on the docks?"

"In all probability, yes."

"Good, the boss been naggin' me and I was runnin' out of lies to feed him."

"You can lie?" Kratos rose an eyebrow.

"Only to those who deserve it. An' I'm not all that good truth be told."

"Huh, I'll see you tomorrow then I guess."

Taking the hint Syt left. Off to find his wife and get both of them home. If only Kratos could merely walk a few feet, close a door, so to lessen the danger to him and his own. If only...


	22. End of peace

Chapter 22

End of peace

He once thought that he hated routine. Now he learned to enjoy it. Day after day was much the same, only slight varients were in his life. Where others might have found boredom in this, he found joy. Routine ment peace, it ment that all was well. He sliped out of the room at sun rise. Started a fire in the fire place, then would make a very light lunch for himself, set up breakfast for Anna, then check on Lloyd. Noishe would whine as he entered, his tail a wag. At that quiet sound Lloyd would stir, wake up, and greet his father. Lloyd was walking now, was growing, and soon would be too large for the crib his father had made for him. Kratos as always would pick his boy up, hold him for a bit, then set him up for breakfast. This morning Lloyd was having mashed potatoes and greens. Lloyd looked at his Father's food, then at his own, then considered the spoon he used.

"Do not even think about it."

Lloyd only smiled, and he didn't think about it, he did it. Kratos sighed, spent a bit of his morning cleaning the table and himself free of Lloyd's play. Anna came into the room at that point, rolled her eyes, then went through her routine. She kissed Lloyd, protozoan, then husband, then went through her second trip around the room ruffling hair. No longer having acess to Kratos' wings Anna was making do with what she could. With pracitce the Seraphim learned how to get out of Anna's grip before the comb came out, Lloyd thought wasn't as apt as his father at avoiding the comb. He glared at his father as Anna decended, and Kratos winked at his boy. Lloyd "humph"ed, or tried to, and crossed his arms while his mother lovingly combed his hair. A snicker on his part made Anna look up, a thoughtful dreamy look was in her eyes. Kratos muttered something about taking Noishe for a walk, tried to get away. It was too late, he was caught, and sat down by his son. They both had thier hair combed, styled, and were both mothered over.

Lloyd giggled at his father's surly expression. Anna was oblivious to it all, she just lovingly smothed back thier hair, then drew out a small bowl of water. Lloyd winced as the cold water slid down his neck, Kratos grimaced as the liquid slithered down his back. Niether feeling hot or cold, having water touch him was a very unsettling sensation. Anna of course was thrilled, and fetched a peice of mirror that she had bought a few months ago, so that they might see her work. Lloyd's expresion was much what his father thought of the hair style. Lloyd "ick"ed and stuck his tounge out at his reflection. Lloyd's hair was slicked back, and parted to the left, the back was flipped up as much as Anna could manage. Anna rolled her eyes then handed the mirror to her husband.

Kratos stared at himself for a long time, fighting to keep his expretion nutreal.

"Anna, a woman styles her hair like this, not a man."

"But it looks adorible!"

"I have to go to work in less then an hour, please fix this."

"Fix what? It looks good, it'll be just for one day..."  
Kratos looked at himself, his hair had been tossed to the side, and fluffed. Fluffed! His banges had been thrown to one side, and the back of his hair had been flipped up. Having more hair to work with Anna had made her husbands hair look very very fluffy. Noishe padded into the room, and took one look at Kratos' hair. He fell over, howling, his paws were kicking at the sky as he writhed around laughing.

"See!" Kratos pointed at Noishe. "Even our dog thinks it looks bad! Anna fix this, please!"

"Well I like it! You can fix it yourself Mr. Ruian, if that's what you want! But if you do fix it we will be eating spaggettie tonight."

Kratos winced, considered his stomach and his masculine dignaty. Being what he was did have it's advantages, he really didn't have to eat. But Anna always made him eat at least five bites of every meal. He weighed those five bites against a day.

"Can I at least cover my head? After all I don't want tar getting in my hair."

Anna considered, then sighed.

"Fine. It's such a shame really I mean I work on your hair for so long and you have to cover it up all day long."

He decided to keep to himself how much of a blessing it was. And if he decided to say... wet his hair and slick it back while on the job... it wouldn't hurt anything. He could just lie a little, tell Anna he fell into the water or something. Or he could arange to fall into the water and avoid the lieing part.

"Well, I best get going, Urik's temper with me these days has been short."

With any luck he'd be able to get to his work early enough to conviently slip and fall without an audience.

"Have a good day, or try to."

She kissed him, and he smiled. He hugged her, breathed in her scent, and kissed her. Lloyd "ick"ed from his chair, and Kratos laughed.

"I will try my love, I believe Lloyd's having a problem of sort with our affection, so I will be off."

"Hmm... It's not that bad, is it?"

"I will survive."

She hit him, dilevered a playful punch on his sholder.

"Scoot!"

"Yes, mi'lady." He mock bowed and she rolled her eyes. Then shooed him out of the house with a broom in mock rage when he moved to linger.

Xxxx xxx xxx

"Take it off." Syt was waiting for him, he leaned against one of the suport beams at thier station. By the looks of his red face and twinkling blue eyes he had heard the stroy of Kratos hair and had run here to see it. Kratos flushed, growled under his breath, then pulled off his bandana. Syt laughed, staggeded back, and fell into the water. Well at least Kratos had his reason to get wet...

"My Goddess! It looked horrid, and she what? Threatened to cook somethin' you don't like so you'd wear it? By Martel man, I'm happy I'm not married to your wife, she's a sneaky one." Syt was vigerously rubbing at himself dry with the towl Kratos had brought. Kratos was trying his best to slick his hair back and get rid off the fluff in it.

"Heh, sneaky is not the word."

"Birds of a feather..." Syt grinned then ducked under thier newest assignment. "Hey, get under here, this one's gunna be tough and I need your help here."

"Tough?" Kratos crawled in the false wooden cave, then rolled over and hissed through his teeth. "My God this one needs to be destroyed, there is nothing left to even fix!"

The whole belly of the ship was ripped out. One or two planks held, Kratos slithered to one of those planks and put just a slight bit of preasure. The wood snapped like a twig.

"What the hell!"

Kratos turned and looked at Syt in surprise, that was perhaps the fiercest language he'd ever heard the fisherman use. Syt pressed agianst the space between two of the supports, and there was a ripple in the air. Mana made the air tingle around them. There was a twang, almost musical, a familier hiss... Kratos snarled, grabbed the younger man's legs and dragged him to the center of the ship. Kratos could hear a rope slither, could hear the pully that it was attached to rattle as the strain of the fast moving rope upset it. Still retaining his grip on Syt, Kratos dragged them as far away from the front of the boat, from the pier as he could. The boat shuddered, there was a loud creek, then a loud crunch as the boat fell on the frame. The parimitive ceiling shuddered and the wooden beams that were to serve as supports, all of them cracked, lines marred every one of them. The exit, the one way out, was no impassable for the supports were bent in, the supports twisted in, made a baracade that was impassable. For one horrid moment there was stillness, a second where the world held it's breath. The wooden support, the ceiling cracked, then pitched and what might with time and effort be torn down and made passable again was now replaced with the front of the ship. Ominously the other side of the structure creaked, shuddered, and a rain of splinters came from all sides. When it died down both men coughed and choked on the dusty air, and lay wild eyed in center of their station.

"Damn it Ruian I want to see my family, I don't want to die here!" A hand gripped him, shook him hard. "Wake up, think of somthing, for the love of Martel do something!"

There was only one thing he could do, he would have to reveil himself, draw on the power that was in him. Any other mana besides angelic and he would announce his presence to every one of his enemies. Syt gasped when the sholder he had been gripping turned bloody. He scrambled back as far as he could when what little space they had was filled with those wings of silver blue that were coated with crimson.

"My God what are you!"

Kratos didn't have time for an explaination. Merely called forth his power. A familier humming took his wings, the shivered then with a sharp flap three razor sharp feathers slammed into the platform. The wood broke, ripped open under the power that was stored in those feathers. Another crack from above, louder then before. Kratos felt his world sway, he had lost a great deal of blood, not having drawn his wings in so long left him vulnerble to this. A rough hand grabbed him, dragged him to the hole he had just made, then he was falling. His wings flapped in blind instinct, but weighed down by blood they could not even slow his decent. Water, slithered around him, pressed all around him. Wieghed him down... His wings were absorbibing the water, adding wieght that he could not endure. Arms wrapped around him as he was about to go under, held him up.

"Damn it man, draw them in!"

"Yu..Yuan?"

"Damn it!" for one second he was forced under the water. He came back sputtering and more awake then before. Kratos' vision cleared, and he took in the sight of the pale, shaken, Syt. "Your wings, draw them, fold them, whatever, put them away! I can't keep this up much longer!"

Muzzly Kratos did as ordered, and if he could have wept would have, as his wounds absorbed the salt water.

"Come on, hold on! Just a bit longer!" He flet like he was being pulled along, dragged through a field of heavy air. "Almost... almost there.." Syt was panting like Noishe after a long run. "Need to get a little farther away so that when it falls... Damn it need a boat... send a boat..."

The world was tingued with grey, Syt's voice was fading in and out at random intervals. Then a flash of crimson, he heard himself scream as if from far away. Dazed he looked behind him, to see a piece of bloody wood inbedded in his back. Then the red world went black.

He lay on the dock, Syt stood over him with a knife, wrenching out the wooden stake in Kratos' shoulder. Anna had been summoned by one of the fisher folk, the words Ruian and hurt were all she needed to hear before abandoning her home and making a mad dash for the docks. She trembled while she watched Syt work, but refused to look away. Men, bloodied men, grown men, looked away, a few turned green at the massive amount of blood Kratos was spilling out on the dock. A rough voice snarling profanities was comming closer, ordering the men to go back to work. Anna trembled, but this time in rage, as the man she thought to be Urik bulled his way past his men and came to what was causing the camotion. He paused, stared at Syt and Kratos, then had the gall to order the fisherman away from her husband. To tell him that if he didn't get back to work he was fired.

"Fine then!" The fisherman snarled, "fire me if that's your way!"

"Bah, he's good as dead. I'll give the bastard a mercy killin' and you'll git back t' work, ye hear!"

Anna stepped forward, stood in front of her comotose husband.

"You'll have to get through me first!" She shivered as the man's pigish face curled into a smile. As he dismissed her as nothing.

"So yer his little bitch..." Urik laughed, cricked his knucles, and advanced on her. "Protectin' yer own are we... When I'm done with ye I'll have some sport with ye no fear o' that..."

Syt shook himself, then brandished the knife at his employer.

"Leave her alone you bastard."

"I can take care of this myself." Anna shifted her skirt and drew out the knife she carried on herself at all times. The hilt flet strange in her hands, cold. She regreted that she had not taken up her husbands offers of training. "You wont hurt anyone, and if you try I swear I'll kill you."

"Heh," Urik looked to Syt, smiled, then with one punch lifted the man off his feet and sent him flying. Urik then looked at her, and a horrible familier light filled his eyes. Anna had seen that look before, knew that the man was not jesting when he said he'd rape her. "Well yer a liar, already I hurt someone, and I thinkin' I'll do more then just hurt you..."

"Well then," Anna shuddered as the other work men actually began to obay this monster's orders.

_There are no heros in this world. All the heros are dead in this mockery of a world_.

"I'll have to kill you then, wont I?"

"Ye can try little miss that ye can try..."

"Then I will, and I wont fail."

Anna dashed across the slippery dock, her sandled feet slapped agianst the sea sprayed wood. Startled Urik froze, then bent down in a bull rush. Bad mistake, he ment to force her down, to burry her in a tackle and then force himself onto her. Knowing the move Anna managed to slide out of the mans rush, catch her feet, and whip around to deliver a parting slash along the man's back. There was a moan, Syt was just coming around. Urik growled low in his chest, charged, and this time did not crouch. This was no tackle, but a true attack. Anna managed to bring the knife around, managed to get in a deep slash along the big man's chest, his massive fist connected, and she was thrown to the side like a doll.  
"Yer a fighter, a Hell Cat, I love breakin' fighters..."

Anna lifted her head, stared at the man as he walked across the dock. She fought her fear, found her feet, and grimaced as she felt the nasty bruise along her face begin to throb. The knife, she cursed in angelic as she realized that she had lost her knife! Now the odds were against her, Anna took a step back, felt terror in her heart like all the times before. Urik screamed, clutched at something behind him, then whipped around and lashed out with his fist. Syt yalped, and landed against the wooden deck. There was a loud crack, a groan, and the fisherman lay on the deck whimpering, tears of agony rolled down his face. Urik snorted, ripped the dagger out of his side, and threw it, it sank into the wood with a thump. To get to it Anna would have to charge the man, rip the dagger out of the deck and try to use it. All the while she would be vulnerble.

_You can't protect me beloved, no one can. I have to protect you and everyone else. I can't fail this, if there is a Martel, a true Martel and not just a tortured woman, then help please help me. If there isn't then Origin, Gnome, ever summen spirit out there, help me to help him!_

"Make it easy fer yerself, give up, I'll be gentle."

"Go to Hell you bastard!" With a defient shriek Anna charged, dove for the knife, wrenched it out...

A wieght heavy and rough slammed down, swated her aside like a fly. She hit the deck, heard something snap inside of her. She held onto the knife though, held onto it for dear life, and tried to find her feet. It was her leg that was broke and it could not support her, she could not stand, but only kneel. He laughed, she could hear that slobery laugh as he came closer.

"No I wont let you hurt her!" Syt gasped, he tried to get up but failed.

"Yer both weaklings, I'll deal with yer man first Hell Cat, then you, and yer little friend.

Urik walked over Anna, absently kicked her as he passed. She shuddered in pain, and through the tears only had one goal. She lashed out with the knife, dragged it across the big man's lower leg. Urik screamed as he was hit, then whipped around, bloody murder in his eyes. Anna closed hers, she tried to see Kratos, Lloyd and Noishe in her mind, tried to hold onto a peaceful moment. She remembered that morning, with Lloyd in her hands and Kratos sulking as she combed his hair, how Noishe lay on the floor howling in laughter. She tried to remember that, to feel that, insteed of the hands that rolled her limp form over. She held onto that moment even as she flet the hands go over her neck, even as they tightened.

A snarl, a animal's snarl made her eyes snap open. Urik let her go, cried out, and a familer silver green blur slammed into the big man. Limp with relief Anna lay unmoving, even though she could make out Urik's screams over the howling and snarling of Noishe. She lifted her head, and watched in horror as the dog's mane bristled like a lions, how the wild crest on his scalp spread behind him. Noishe arched his back, took a deep breath, and roared at Urik. It wasn't a howl, a snarl, but a roar. Noishe, his snout covered in blood, his paws booted in red, drifted across the deck, stood between Anna, Syt, Kratos, and Urik. He curled his lips back, and with no sound bared his teeth at the fisherman.  
"Damned beast I'll..." Anna heard a glass break, some worker must have left a wine bottle out. "I'll skin ye alive!"

Noishe let out another roar, then threw himself across the deck. Urik managed to get a thrust in with his weapon, and Noishe took the hit without complaint. He whipped around the man, bit down on the leg that Anna had slashed, and hamstrung the fisherman with ease. Screaming in agony Urik fell on the deck, blood pouring from his wound. Noishe wasn't done thought, he calmly walked across the man's back, and dug his claws in. He racked them across the sun worn skin and drew even more blood, ripping old scars open and creating new ones. Urki howled, tried to dislodge to dog, and Noishe lightly valted off the man's shoulders, landed in front of the man. Syt shuddered, his eyes were wide in shock. Anna flet the blood drain from her face as Noishe calmly tilted his head to the side and considered the raving Urik. It was a gesture so much like Kratos' , so human on the face of something that was obviously not human...

Then with a detached air Noishe camly bent his head, and ripped Urik's throat out.

From far away Anna could hear the other fishermen coming over, she could also hear Nosihe's roars keeping them back. No one in his sane mind was coming over to this part of the dock with the crazed dog roaring at people.

"Anna.." Syt coughed, he crawled over to her. "You alright.."

"Yeah," Gritting her teath Anna rolled over, brushed off the man's outstretched hand and looked dazedly for her husband. "Kratos, is he alright..."

"Kratos... Ruian?"

She cursed herself for her lapse, but felt too sick and weak, to care all that much at the moment.

"Syt, what happened?"

"I.. the boat just colapsed and... Ruian.. he saved me, he just grew wings and..."

"Shhh..." Anna glanced around, her mind paniced, but no one was close enough to hear. "We'll talk about it after... after..." Noishe, he whimpered, almost in her ear, how had he? She couldn't keep track of time, the world was going fuzzy.

"Docter are they going to be alright?"

"I don't know, come on, you there, help me carry them off, and fetch a vet for that.. that thing."

"Aye sir!"

Hands, human, warm, picked her up.

"Ruian.. where's Ruian?"

"He's alright little miss, just out cold... Don't worry he'll be fine."

Lies, she had seen him, he had been dieing.

"Can't believe it meself miss, looked royal bad an all, but the doc says it's just a nasty tear in his skin, that's all. He should be up and about in a day or so."

The world went grey, then balck, and she welcomed the darkness behind her lids.


	23. Honesty

Fairy V: This is a little of the explaination you wanted on Kratos' condition... There will be a chapter later on (_either 43 or 44 I can't recall right now_) where the full paramiters of his existence will be explained, but in this chapter he does talk a little about how he preceives the world.

As for Lloyd talking you will get your fill of that in the later chapters, he grows into quite the chatter box.

Lady Serefina: I'm writing many stories on this site, though I am working primarily on DES and SoR there will be the ocasional odd fic I bring up. Just take a look at my profile, I add in stories every few days or so. I am glad you like my perspective on Kratos' relationship with his wife/family, and I'm glad you enjoy my stabs at establishing aSymphonia mythology, expect more of that in later chapters.

Ark Navy: ... Um I did not understand the first two paragraphs of your review for chapter 21... Alright... I take that back you have officially baffled me. Yes I live in the US, and don't feel too bad you aren't the first person to think I live in England.

Dirk in a tutu? I think that's more disterbing then Kratos with fluffed up hair... I know one fanartist put Kratos ina dress once, and that is somewhere were I will (hopefully) never go!

MoonCannon: Thanks... I take it you like action scenes, there should be a few more in this fic. My personal favorite is the flight/fight scene in chapter 31. That will be up soon enough, I plan on tossing up a few more chapters today since I have the time

Serrarted Darkness:I'm glad you are enjoying Syt, and thanks for the praise, when I have time I'll reviewyour fic.

Honesty with Friends

Chapter 23

He groaned, stirred, his mind had been conscious, but his body was paralyzed and unresponsive to his will for hours. Images, crimson stained like a Seraphim's wings, had been playing in his mind. It took him a while to realize that these were his memories, and when that realization came to him there came a fuller remembrance. He recalled every detail with super human clarity, every terrified heartbeat, and in the darkness surrounded by the light of dream memories, trapped he lay for hours. Mulling over his mistakes, considering everything in a colder jaded light. In the heat of the moment, in the passion he had stopped thinking had... He might have doomed his whole family. All it took was one word spoken from the right mouth and everything, everything, he valued, he cherished, would be destroyed. When he felt he could come back to his body, or rather when the barrier that kept him from working his body lifted he opened his eyes. A strange woman stood over him, smiled... And it took only a moment for him to remember that it was no stranger, but Syt's wife. She looked at him as if she expected him to... he didn't know what.

"Mrs. Issia... where.. where am I?"

"Home, our home lad..." Syt's wife's hands trembled, she dipped them in a bowl of what he thought to be water, Issia pulled out a rag "This is going to sting..." and with that warning shedispelled his illusions that it was going to be water. She put the rag down on his back, and he almost screamed, he gripped the sides of the cot and gasped profanities. "You got messed up rather bad, do you remember anything at all?"

"Bits, pieces." He lied, blinked sharply as tears formed behind his eyes. "I have a few holes in my memory."

"Aye, comes from havin' a boat fall on you I figure."

Kratos slowly lifted his head. His reflexes were dulled from being comatose, so the motion was a bit jerky. In an hour or so he'd be fine, he could feel that, his old reflexes were coming back to him.

"Really? Is that.. what happened?" He hissed as his doctor applied pressure on his back. "Issia stop!" His wings, they wanted to come out...

Issia hopped, drew away from him in terror.

"My God that hurt.. don't every do that again!" Kratos gasped, closed his eyes, and exerted what little remained of his control over himself, he ordered himsel not to get up and strangel Issia.

"I'm sorry Rui- err Krato- whoever you are!" Issia snapped in frustration, anger making her master her fear. "Anna told me to do that, to make you.. err _extensions_ come out. Her orders not mine."

"What!"

"Aye, we know a little now, and we be wantin' an explanation. Anna told us to wait though till you heard everything so that you'd not be in the dark. Though she did say you'd remember it all your self when you'd wake up."

Someone shot an arrow at that ship Kratos. We found the damned proof of it, or rather your dog did, and he practically rammed it up the Mayor's ass when the man tried to claim it was all an accident." Syt gasped in pain. "Issia, me leg's killin' me, you have any more gels?" Kratos came back to himself, and took in the bruises and cuts that marred the cheerful man's face. Bandages were wrapped around the younger man's mid section, he was obviously nursing a broken rib or two. And his leg, it was wound up in a rough cast.

Kratos trembled in rage, his eyes seemed to fill with fire. His breath came out in a hiss that was no way conected to pain. With those hell fire eyes and icy expression he turned to Syt, and the fisherman paled.

"What happened Syt?"

"Heh, Anna owes me some gald after all, little bet me and her had... The ship fell, you remember that, right?"

"Yes."

"Some crazy bastard decided that the world would be better with both of us out of it, shot the rope, and we almost got smashed to bits. You, you made your.. I don't even know what they are, they just appeared and you ripped the planking out with a bolt of light. Anyways you were all weird because of all the bleedin' you were doin' and I tried to get us to land." Syt tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace of pain. "Anna needs to feed you less, we didn't get all that far when the boat fell on us."

Issia tittered, but still looked very nervous.

"There has to be more..."

"There is." Syt shuddered. "Well some boys pulled us to land, but you'd know it, part of the boat got stuck in you, I wrenched it out, I thought you were dead on me Ruian, I honestly did. You were as pale as pale gets, and bleedin' more then I care to think about. An' don't worry, no one but me saw your... you know... watch-a-ma-call-em's. You pulled them in 'fore anyone got to us. Had to dunk you to make you do it." Kratos remembered that very well, he could still taste the salt water in his mouth. "Anyways you were on dock and Urik comes, wantin' a piece of my hide for makin' this all happen. He took one look at you and figured he should do a mercy killin'." Kratos hissed an oath and Syt laughed. "More or less what I told him. Tried to protect you, I did... Anna wound up protectin' us both."

Syt closed his eyes, rubbed his leg.

"He was gunna rape her Ruian, and she fought him off with everything she had." A cold pit fell into the Seraphim stomach, his lungs could not draw breath, a wild look touched him. Something that wasn't quite sane. "She did good for herself, got a few good licks in, was gunna slash the bastard's throat for him. He beat her bad Ruian, but that dog of yours damn!" Syt shuddered. "Never saw a man die before, much less like that. How do you honestly sleep well at night knowin' what that thing can do to a man?"

"Noishe?" Kratos shivered, but he pushed that thought aside. "Anna where is.."

"She's fine, napping actually, let her sleep she's had it rough." Issia swallowed. "Her legs broke, she's battered and bloody, but she's healing up well."

"How long have I been out?"

"A day, nah more like two days." Syt's wife left the Seraphim for a moment, and tended her husband. The fisherman sighed as the red apple gel was rubbed into his chest. "You're a blessin' me love."

"Don't you ever do anything that stupid ever again!" Issia smacked her husband on the back of the head.

"Yes dear..."

Kratos grunted, tried to get up, Issia looked at him, walked up behind him, then poured something on his back. Kratos collapsed, lost in agony.

"Disinfectant, you're slashed up bad Ruian. I'd not move, me wife has a rule, you don't get up 'till the wound's closed. And she'll make sure you don't get up Ruian. Says she does it to make sure us men folk don't get crazy ideas and get ourselves opened up again without thinkin' about it."

"It.. works..." Kratos managed, blinking several times to keep from weeping.

Xxxx xxx xxx

Anna sighed, looked up from her bed and blankets. Well it wasn't her bed, but it had been assigned to her. Kratos sat, he had made the long walk down the hall, legs twitching, fumbled with the door knob, and entered Anna's room. She watched as her husbands limbs twitched, watched as he colapsed into the chair. Two days had passed, two days where Kratos had evaded questions, had his wound tended, and rested as much as he could. There was no way to hide his strangeness, the limitations of his existance were now out in the open, and at least one family now knew he was not normal. He did not eat what meals they offered, did not drink more then a mouth full of water. He lay still, his eyes half open as he sought solace from his pain in a meditative trance, but never did he slip into true sleep.

He knew he was scaring poor Issia, she looked at him like she'd look at a monster.

Syt was unsettled but was not terrorfied. He showed little fear save that his friend was ill treating himself.

Two days later, much to Syt families horror, the wound in his back was healed. Totally healed, he didn't even have a scar to show for what any other man would have called a mortal wound. He grunted, ripped off the bandages, and forced himself through a light regimine of exercise. He was healed, completely healed, but still horribly weak.  
"Ruian shouldn't you be layin' down or somthin'?"

"No, I am fine." Kratos sighed, rolled his shoulders, and considered. No not now. He'd wait until Syt was out of the room. Quietly he regarded Anna, and she regarded him. They needed no words, only to see each other to find that peace, and they both needed peace sorely. For a long moment Kratos sat in the chair, then after that long moment he stood, using the wall as a prop he managed to get to Anna's bed, and sat himself down.

"Kratos..." She knew what he was going to do, she looked meaningfully at Syt.

"It doesn't matter now beloved, they know almost everything, one last truth wont kill them." He opened his hands, silver blue light arched between his palms, and he put that light to Anna's leg. there was an audible snap, a wet grinding sound. Syt cried out, tried to get across the room to stop what he thought was Anna's death. The seraphim sighed, then gently unwound the bandages that bound Anna's leg and ran a hand over it. He applied presure, and if her leg had been broke she would have been in agony. But she didn't cry out, only smiled, and reached up with a shaking hand to caress her husbands cheek.

Syt stood frozen, his mouth agape.

"What in the Goddess' name are you?"

"Does it mater?" Kratos sighed, moved to tend to Anna's ribs. Anna's glare made him stop.

"No more beloved, you're drained down to nothing."

"Damn it Anna I will heal you!"

"Forget it Ruian, I know that look you'd not be able to stand after you tended her. An' you fallin' on her, aye that'd kill her quick."

"Shut up Syt!"

Kratos closed his eyes, the world fadded away, blured as he dragged more mana out of himself. He did not hear the door squeak open, nor see Syt's eyes widen in shock. He missed how the other man paled, twisted out of the way, or as much as his leg would alow him to.A growl made him stop, come out of his trance. Noishe it seemed was going to take a side in this. Somehow two paws came to rest on his lap.The protozoan's lip were curled back reveiling very sharp, dangerous, teeth, less then an inch from the seraphim's face.

"Noishe, let me finish this!"

Noishe growled even louder, and glared on top of that.

"You're out numbered Ruian, an' me wifes gunna peal off your hide when she hears about this. Yon Anna was very specific on what and what not you should be doin' while you healed. Magic-in was one of the things your not supposed to be doin'."

"What all did you tell them!"

"Enough Kratos."

"Why she keep callin' you that Ruian?"

"Errm family pet name?" Anna managed, there was a strain in her eyes that betrayed she was lying.

"Huh, I ain't stupid Mrs. Anna, not by a long shot, an' I be wantin' the truth so I can protect my own. And I be wantin' it soon."

"You will have it." Kratos sighed as Anna's hand stroked his side. She wanted him to join her, and modesty aside he wanted nothing more to lay with his wife. To just hold her for a few hours, and maybe, if the Gods were merciful, sleep. "Could you leave us alone for a bit, we need to talk."

"Among other things." Anna chuckled, scooted as much as she could.

Syt flushed, and excused himself. Anna's laughter all but pushing him out the door. She sighed, then glared at him as she felt healing mana seep into her last injuries. Kratos smiled at her, his eyes were glazed, with little intelligence in them. Feeling much beter, just a bit on the woozy side, Anna scooted, and eased her husband down on the bed. She embraced him, nestled against him as he slid into slumber.

Xxxx xxx xxx

"You talk in your sleep, you know that?" Kratos cracked an eye open, Anna was playing with his hair. She yawned, snuggled against him, and he felt himself flush. Anna's hands slid across his spine, he couldn't help himself. He groaned as his wings slithered out of his back.

"Damn it Anna I did not want to bloody up their bed! This is not our home and..." He lost his train of thought as she nuzzled his throat, and found his lips after a bit of exploring. He tried to pull away, tried to resist. Sensing his hesitance Anna pulled away with a grumble.

"You're no fun, you know that?"

"Not when I'm in someone else's house, with children about, and fatigue plaguing me."

"I feel fine..." She caressed his wings, and they of their own accord wrapped around them both. With a smile Anna snuggled into them, her hands became lost in the silver blue mess of feathers. He shuddered a bit, delicious tingling assaulted him every time she touched his wings. "Is something wrong?" She leaned back against his wings, he almost drowned in the sensation.

"I... I am fine... My wings, they have... never acted.. like this before..."

She pulled away, or rather tried, his wings had other ideas. They gently pushed her to him, and she now lay on him, held oh so gently down by the silver blue light. He shivered, then stopped breathing as her heat assaulted him. He felt heat, in over four thousand years he felt heat! With wondering hands he caressed her, lost for the longest moment in such a primitive physical sensation. Touch, his sense of touch was always muffled, dead, he had always fumbled through any task that required any dexterity. And if he could not see what he was doing all he would feel was a slight tingle under his hands. The sensation was unpleasantly like having a limb asleep, and it was like that for him all the time.

"K..Kratos..." He could feel her shake, she was scared, not cold. She was scared for him.

"I am alright I..." He closed his eyes, and allowed his hands to caress her. To just feel her heat, to feel her. "Anna I can... I can feel heat again!"

She stared at him, not understanding.. he had never told her about this, or rather he had and she had not fully understood. But then she smiled, and she embraced him, held him. He felt as if he was drowning, euphoria picked him up. His wings held her, caged her, even as his hands gently pulled her to him. She trembled, but neither from cold, or fear. Ecstasy had taken them both, and the world was soon forgotten to them both.

"My God." Anna trembled, her eyes closed as a phantom of their pleasure made her ache. "My God... We need to do that more often."

Kratos flushed despite himself, trembled in a mix of fading passion and embarrassment. To him, no mater the wars he fought, the enemies he defeated, in maters of the body, in maters of love... He lived in fear, a fear of messing up, of causing pain, or misinterpreting Anna's thousand and one signals. It was lesser now, that fear, he was beginning to savor it more then fear it. To grow out of his fear, but he doubted it would ever leave him, not fully. But it felt right, it was right, perhaps the rightist thing in all the worlds.

"Yes.." He closed his eyes, and tried to call in his wings. They were too busy humming, and he could not exercise any control over them right now. She laughed, quietly, and let her hands caress his wings. The humming, which he had only felt, became audible. Anna giggled, both of his wings slid around her, and she obligingly scooted closer.

"Your wings, I think they like me a little too much."

"Do they now?"

"Yes they do, you know it's strange, I always thought you controlled them."

"Technically I am supposed to be able to."

"But you looks so surprised now. So I'm guessing that this wasn't fully your idea."

"It was not. Not that it was a bad idea, mind you."

"So they're smarter then you, ouch."

He chuckled wrapped his arms around her, and his wings with a whispering sound kept them both together through out what remained of the night.  
Anna sat, no longer hampered by bandages, or cast, she sat on the edge of the bed. Her eyes dreamy as she combed her long brown hair. She looked out the window, watched the sunrise. Her husband's orders, he was so shy sometimes about stuff so simple. It was one of his few boyish qualities that were absolutely adorable. Not that she'd ever say that to him, it'd hurt his pride too much.

Xxxx xxx xxx

"Well thank you for last night." She said, and felt him freeze. She knew that if she looked over her shoulder she would see him in the process of putting his pants on. He always did that first. For a long moment she considered turning around, then decided against it. "For the healing and everything else."

"I should be thanking you beloved."

"Hmm well if we did that we'd never stop thanking each other, it'd make breakfast tedious and awkward to say the least."

Kratos laughed, unfroze, and went back to getting dressed.

"Can you still..." She left it hanging, hesitant to bring up something so delicate.

"No, well not like I did. Inanimate objects just don't seem to provide enough stimuli for my altered nervous system to..." Anna's eyes felt like they were glazing, and somehow Kratos seemed to know that. He snorted, muttered something about the Sylverant education system being worth nothing. "When I touch you, yes I feel heat, anything else.. well as far as I can test, I get no response. One of the joys of being a Seraphim I guess."

"Damn Mithos for doing this to you Kratos."

"Anna, that is enough. I signed up for this, I knew what I was getting into... I have to be adult enough to live with the consequences."

"Adult enough?" She turned and smiled, he had frozen again, with a mess of belts in his hands. She grimaced at his mercenary outfit, she hated when he wore that. It meant they were leaving again. "You're more then an adult, I can testify to that!"

"Anna!" He blushed.

"I know what you mean. I just wanted to have a little fun with you, that's all."

He muttered something, focused on the belts.

"You need to come with a sign so that when you do that I can read what you just said."

"Very funny..." He rummaged through their packs, and fished out his black short sleeve tunic.

"Kratos, it's cold out today, you probably want to wear something a little more heavy."  
"After our meeting with the Syt's, we owe them an explanation."

"How far do we go Kratos, how much can we trust them?"

"I'd trust Syt with my life, I had to as a matter of fact. He, I know can take it, all of it. But his wife, she is not as strong."

"She's not weak either, don't worry beloved, they'll help each other get through it."

"Their children?"

"They're too young, lets let the parents break it to them when they are older. Syt's grandmother, we can leave the Syt's children and Lloyd over with her for a few hours."

"But the assassin..."

"If he has any brain in his head after that little show yesterday he'll be out of town and running. If he isn't Noishe will be with them, no one in their sane mind is going to attack Lloyd with Noishe around."

"Alright then. Considering what to tell them... I have to tell them what I am now, there is no other option in that.. but Yggdrasil, how much of that do we mention?"

"Tell them the church and the Desian's are connected, but it is not the pastors themselves but the higher entities that exist within the church. That should be enough."

"The split worlds? No.. not even an option... But I think they might want to know a little more about the Regeneration journey, a little of the truth behind it. After all I will be participating this time, we may cross paths again, so they need to know why that is."

"Derris Kharlan?"

"No, let us not totally destroy their faith Anna. They have so very little left... We need to persuade them to leave Izoold, we need to find a way to get them, and us out of here fast. To let them live here is to see them dead in a month."

"Yes, that will be the hardest. They've lived here their whole lives you know. Leaving all that will be rough on them."

"they will live, if they stay they most certainly will die. If not by the hands of our assailants then by those who will avenge Urik."

"Why would anyone avenge that monster?"

"Greed, he paid them to work after all, and unless someone takes that task this place will fall in desperate times. That can be done much easier with our absence."  
"I don't understand..."

"I know, it's one of the viler facet of the human nature. Do not worry too much about it. I will make Syt and his family leave Izoold before worse comes to worse, even if I have to tie them up and carry them somewhere safe. Do you have any objections to going to Luin?"

"Several." Kratos turned to Anna surprised by the hate in her tone. "None of them mater though, and I need to pay that visit to my family anyways."

"You were born in Luin.. I remember that in the paper work, but you never mentioned it yourself.."

"I have reason to not mention it." Anna shuddered. "Several reasons. Come on lets get this little talk over with."

Startled by her sudden business tone Kratos looked at her, tried to read her. But her shields were up over her soul, and all he could sense was a deep pain in her.

"One of these days you will tell me why you bleed Anna, one of these days you will tell me and I will try my hardest to heal away your pain."

"Not today beloved, I'm not strong enough right now. But when I am I will tell you, I promise."

Syt and Issia trembled when Anna more or less explained that what they had been raised to believe was nothing more then a lie. They took the truth of the Regeneration grudgingly, and all but exploded with Anna told them that the Desians and the Church of Martel were interconnected. Kratos sick and tired of the fighting finally left his bed, and came into the room. His wings made a grim backdrop to the truths he told them, they made it real, and in the end it was his presence that bent them. that made them begin to believe.

"I was a research project, some random Desian test rat, tortured, beaten. Urik was nothing compared to what they did to me." Anna shuddered. "I was supposed to be part of the Angelus project, I don't know what it was, but Forcystus, a Desian Lord from Iselia, took me from Kvar. Or rather that's what I thought..."

"I was head of the ranch, the master of both the Desians and Cruxis made me head of the ranch. I have served him for an eternity, once long ago as a human, and now as a Seraphim, one of the guardians of heaven." Kratos swallowed, looked away. "Except it is a lie, almost everything you know is a lie. There is a heaven, a higher power, but we of Cruxis only pose, mimic it. We are not angels, none of us, just a handful of half-elves and humans who have gone under intense torment to become what we are now. That was how it was... Now our leader takes people throughout the ages, and offers them immortality for their souls. All the Chosens who have failed in the regeneration, they are now agents of Cruxis. Empty of heart and soul they exist as lesser angels, guards, and citizens of that which you think of as holy. There is a Goddess, or a God, I am not sure anymore, but there is a higher power. The writ of Martel is not wrong, the ethics, the ultimate ends, it was all a religion that existed far before your, or even my, time... It was twisted, the Spiritia, and the Regeneration, were added in, as the leader of Cruxis took a flowering faith and twisted it to be a vessel of resources."

"Is there really a Martel, a sick Goddess?" Issia whispered.

"No, not a Goddess, but a woman who was so much like a Goddess that few could tell the difference. I had the honor of traveling with her four millennia ago, to learn from her, and it was on her ethics I coached the church, that I broke it from it's brutality that the leader of Cruxis wished to fully poison it with. Not one of the pastors, not one of the priests, know of what exists. They do not know the truth, and those who stumble on it are killed. Look to your Pope, look to your highest religious authority, and you will see the one man in the world who probably knows what is going on."

"The Desian's..."

"Pawns." Anna shook her head. "Persecuted by humans in ages past the half elves joined together, waged war on humanity, and lost. Cruxis gathered them up, gave them weapons and power, and let them loose on the people. As I understand it they were once equals now Cruxis is in charge."

"Anything else you wanna throw at us?" Syt managed, his eyes were a bit wild.

"I am perhaps one of the most powerful entities..." Anna ribbed him.

"He is one of the most powerful men in Cruxis, second in command, and trying to weaken his leader's power so that Cruxis can undo everything the Desian's and Cruixs have done to the people."

"I was lead for centuries by a false promise, by a fixing of this world, the re-mending of the reality that has been destroyed. When I learned, and had proof that this promise was but a lie I came here, where I met Anna. together we have been trying to find what answers we can to destroy the mad-  
man who runs Cruxis. Unfortunately we got sidetracked..."

"Lloyd is not a sidetrack!" She mock smacked him and he rolled his eyes.

"And we decided to break here for a few years, unfortunately one of our foes has come after us. And because of our friendliness with you you too have been targeted."

"Your not in deep, you're buried!" Syt managed after a moment.

Kratos sighed, rubbed his eyes, and nodded.

"Yes, we are, and because of what you offered. Because you offered your friendship, you too are now trapped with us. We will help you, establish false identaties for you, settle you down somewhere else. You can not stay here Syt, you will be killed if you are lucky, or dragged off to a Ranch if you are not. Your family will be exterminated, your name crossed out of every record, you will never have existed." Kratos eyes were grim. "I warned you my friend, I did everything I could short of telling you the truth to keep you away. And you were very stubborn, I relented, and I am sorry for that."  
"Don't apologize for that!" Syt snarled. "How'd the heck you think you'd make it, alone all the time like you was. You, Anna, and Lloyd, you need people around you, friends, people you can trust, and you have that in us." Syt's friendly eyes had a hint of steel in them. "you keep my family safe, you guard us like you do Anna and your boy, and we'll help you out anyway we can. We stop this nutcase of Cruxis, and fix all that need fixin', and we do it together. You hear me?"

Kratos mouth sagged open, after all of this he expected rejection, had been prepared for it.

Anna only laughed, told him that he owed her twenty gald then hugged Syt.

Issia nodded her head, she was shaking but she agreed.

"Now what all can we do? fixin' a world sound mighty complicated and all."

"Oh that it is." Kratos managed after a few false starts. "For now though we flee, that's all we can do right now."

"Well then stop gawkin' we need to pack an' all don' we?"


	24. Journey

Author ramblings: You might see in this chapter how this story ties into "Shards" it's a lot of work but I'm trying to tactfully weave them together. When I'm done with both stories maybe we can tell how well I did. :)

Journey to PalmaCosta

chapter 24

The boat ride was sad. Well it was sad for Syt and his family, now that they knew it would probably be the last they would ever take. Kratos and his family gave the fisher folk their privacy. They enjoyed their day at sea below deck, basked in the closeness that kept them all sane and happy. Anna smiled, and like six days ago drew out the comb. There was no Noishe to walk, or rather no way to walk Noishe, so Kratos sighed and endured his wife's grooming. Lloyd grumbled more then his father, but he too was put under the comb, and the Aurion family had a bit of a chuckled over Anna's new styles. She was experimenting, and becoming very good with her brush, he was just utterly lost. He couldn't even describe to Anna what he wanted done, couldn't see what was happening until she gave him a mirror. Oh he could slick back his hair, part it, but that was the bare basics. It was a little scary how skilled Anna was when it came to his hair, he had a suspicion that she sometimes played with it at night just so that she'd get ideas on what to do with it in the morning.

Sipping her tea Anna smiled, looked out the port hole to watch the sea. Lloyd scampered around at their feet, playful and energetic as always. That rabbit of his was taking a beating, one eye was already lost... Kratos reminded himself to get his son a new rabbit when the opportunity presented itself.

"And what are you sulking about over there_ Derris fa Gathsuun_?"

He smiled at his pet name, he would have to think of something for her sometime soon.

"Nothing much, I think I'll go check on Noishe."

She made a noise, her mind lost somewhere else. Again he was forced to wonder what was troubling her. By the door that lead outside Kratos paused, fiddled with the handle. It had to be Luin, there was something there that she was bracing herself to face down. But what? Anna never hinted at anything dark in her past. But she never had told him much either.

"Anna," She turned to him, surprised at the sadness in his tone. "If something was troubling you, you would tell me, correct?"

"Of course... why are you asking me something like that?"

"Because you are not telling me something, and whatever it is you are omitting is troubling you."

"Of course not... I'm fine..."

"No, you are not, not fully. You do not have to tell me soon, but please tell me before whatever you are worried about happens."

"Alright... Later, not today, after we get back on land, I'll tell you."

He sighed, and left to go check on his _dog_.

Xxxx xxx xxx

Noishe was a bundle of cheer, and he meant that in the most sarcastic sense as possible. Green was the tint of a sick man, was the sign of someone fighting down vomit. Noishe was born green, in his Arish and other evolutions. A make shift lean to had been made for him, a rough chamber pot, but he was rarely there. Kratos found his pet hanging his head over the side of the rail, eyes closed in abject misery.

"I am sorry my friend, I had forgotten."

Noishe whined, cracked an eye open, and his tail twitched.

"I had hoped that this evolution of yours would not be prone to sea sickness. Although how a hawk managed to get sea sick is beyond me."

Noishe growled, or rather tried, it came out more of a whine then anything else.

"Do not worry, tonight we should be in PalmaCosta."

The tail tried to wag, but Noishe stopped, stood rock still, and then leaned as far as he could over the rail. Kratos left him alone, gave him what privacy he could on the small ship while Noishe battled his sea sickness.

Xxxx xxx xxx xxx

"Aye," Syt grimaced, coughed, then pushed side the meal Issia had cooked. "You're lucky my friend, no appetite left to you that you don't have to endure this."

Kratos smiled, glad that he had looked into the kitchen while Issia was cooking. He managed to slip in, and make Anna a sandwich so that she wouldn't go hungry tonight. Lloyd, from his father's lap made, a rude noise. He put his hand over his nose and mouth. Never had the seraphim seen so much onion and tomatoes in what was supposed to be minestrone soup. Though he did not have to eat he still had to breath, and smell the monstrosity in Syt's bowl.

"Poor Anna, does she have to eat like a normal folk too?"

"To some degree what I am has rubbed off, but not much."

"Your tike, he eats enough for the both of you! Poor guy, had to eat a bowl of this... I owe you an apology Kratos, never thought Issia would snatch the kitchen from the chief."

"She wants to prove her worth I guess."

Lloyd "ick"ed and squirmed. He wanted down, to run around. Kratos was not letting him wander around the mess hall, he was far too young to be on his own, and already some of the sailors on the ship were tapping into their ale freely. Kratos muttered a few words to his boy, and Lloyd settled down.

"How you do that? I need some lessonin' on how to calm 'em down that quick."

"He knows and respects me because I demand that respect. Also I am not very loud, nor is Anna. So he wont learn loudness from us, and we always discourage it when he gets too vocal."

Lloyd tugged his father's sleeve and the seraphim looked down.

"Daee wide?"

"A little later Lloyd."

"'K"

Syt smiled.

"How the heck does people so somber like you and Anna make someone that cheerful."

Kratos shrugged, was more interested in Lloyd, for his boy was tugging on his sleeve again.

"Daee, stowy 'night."

"Of course, come on, lets get going."

"Good night my friend." Kratos said in parting.

"Aye, rest well Ruian."

Xxx xxx xxx

Kratos took Lloyd for a ride on his shoulders around the ship. They made a full lap around the dock, while the sailors looked on. When the stars came out in full Kratos took Lloyd to the most private part of the ship, where in the distance they could see the lone captain stood turning his wheel slowly, the taste of winter was in the air, and it kissed the flurried sails and caressed them both. Lloyd shivered, snuggled to his father, and waited. He did not have to wait long.

"Look up Lloyd." Kratos commanded gently.

"Stars.." His boy smiled, as he always smiled at the stars.

"Yes, do you see that one over their, that red one?"

"Yep!"

"Do you want to hear a story about that star, and all the other stars that it's connected too?"  
"Pwease Daee!"

"Alright, settle down, I will tell that story."

Obedient Lloyd settled down, leaned his head into his father's chest and looked up with raw love in his eyes. And for anyone who did not know him well they would have ben floored by the look that Kratos gave to his son. The found pride, the warmth, the love. Mithos would never have thought it possible for his old mercenary mentor to feel such things, Yuan would not have understood.

"That star is very special, it is called the crimson edge, it is the hilt of the double-edged sword that the angel of shadows wields. Tell me about the angel's Lloyd."

"Thwee angels!" Lloyd chirped.

"A little more, and we will get back to the story."

"'K Yuan, Martel, Mithos! Martel weas a crown, a sparkly star crown! Martel there..." Lloyd pointed off towards the western horizon at the empty sky. "Soon she there." Lloyd pointed to the eastern horizon. "She comes every spring wi' the birdies."

"Very good, keep going."

Lloyd beamed at his fathers praise, then his face became a scowl as he tried to remember more.

"Wen everythin turn yellow an it get weally weally hot Yuan comes. Blue star over heart." Lloyd tapped his chest to illustrate. Mithos... Mithos come when leaves tun wed, Mithos little kid, like me!"

"Not exactly." Kratos sighed, wished his boy had not said that. "Mithos was a half elf Lloyd, he is very lonely up in the sky. You have Daddy and Mommy with you, Mithos does not have anyone right now."

"Maybe someday I go play with Mithos! Make him happy like me!"

Kratos almost strangled, then stroked his son's hair while he forced himself to calm down. That was an image the Seraphim could do without seeing in his mind. Mithos would not be happy to see a human child, the only happiness Mithos would diverge from Lloyd's presence would be his boy in a torturing chamber.

"No Lloyd, you must never talk to anyone named Mithos, ever."

"bu why?"

"Because..." Kratos hesitated. "There is a boy named Mithos, a bad boy who hurt other people. I do not want him to hurt you. So if you ever see someone named Mithos, you come straight to me, understand?"  
"'K"

"Lloyd this is very important. Try to remember alright?"

"Uh huh." Lloyd nodded and Kratos sighed. Lloyd would forget come morning in all probability.

"Now where was I..."

"The star! The red star!"

"Ah yes I remember.." Kratos loved teasing Lloyd like that, and Lloyd loved it to, it was a little game they played. "The red star is the hilt of the shadow angels' sword. It's the jewel a the very end of the handle. You see Martel, Yuan, and Mithos were once very nice people, and they did all sorts of nice things for others. They were light, and their shadow's name was Kratos."

"Like Daee!"

"Yes, like Daddy. He had the same name as Daddy. As a mater of fact it is Daddy in a way." Kratos smiled, and Lloyd looked at the star with wonder filled eyes. Now that he knew that it was Daddy's star it would mean a great deal to him. He'd never forget. "The Kratos up there is a Seraphim Lloyd, a guardian, and he is very serious."

"Not like Daee.. Daee neva serioussus."

"Oh Daddy's serious when he needs to be."

"Hmm." Lloyd leaned back, his arms were crossed in front of his chest. Kratos almost laughed at his boy, but managed barely to hold it in. "Sometimes.." Kratos coughed, looked away, and fought with himself so he would not fall down howling with laughter. He wondered, just for one wistful moment, if he was like this at Lloyd's age. So serious, so earnest...

"When he starts to come out, it gets cold. Winter is coming, the red jewel of the sword is a warning."

"Brrr." Lloyd cuddled with his father as another cold gust drifted by. Kratos could not feel the cold, but had come out dressed for it. He gently wrapped Lloyd in his thick fur cloak, the Aurion's only child smiled up a his father. "Late, your late!" He accused the star, Kratos smiled drew the cloak around Lloyd and held him till his Son's little teeth stopped chattering.

"Not really, he is on time, it is just that we are a little farther north then before, so we get cold faster then the star comes out, that's all."

"Ohh."

"And not all warnings come in time for us to prepare, sometimes we get a warning at the last possible second, but it is still valuable, and if we think fast enough we can always act on it. That is what the star teaches us Lloyd, to be prepared for winter, to be ready for times to get a little rough."  
Lloyd did not look like he totally believed his Father on that account, time and experience would only reenforce his Father's words.

All too soon he would learn the full import of his Father's words.

"Do you know why the warrior comes out in winter?" As Lloyd's head shook Kratos smiled, lifted his boy up, Lloyd squeaked in joy. He still loved to be held, that never would go away it seemed. "Winter," he began, after setting his son in his arms. "Is the hardest time. It is pretty, the snow and ice are beautiful Lloyd, but it is dangerous, much like say... a sword. A sword is magnificent, silver in the sunlight, it is breathtaking to watch a warrior practice his craft. But a warrior always practices his craft so that he may protect others, and sometimes when he protects one person he has to hurt others. He leaves winter behind him, bits and pieces of a red winter..."

Lloyd sensed his Daee's sadness, and hugged him. Kratos smiled, rolled over a bit, and tousled his sons hair.

"That is why the star is red Lloyd, to symbolize the red winter of a warrior, and to warn other people that true winter is coming."

"Daee?"

"Hmm what is it?"

"Aw you a warria?"

"I was, not too long ago."

"You protect me an Mama!"

"Yes I do, and I always will."

"... Di you eva hurt someone else to protect me an Mama?"

Ice slid into the Seraphim's veins. He shuddered and Lloyd looked to his father with hopeful, innocent, eyes. He thought of Syt and his family, how close that had been. He thought of Urik, dead by Noishe's fangs. He thought of the assassin in Tethe'alla. The Desian stranger in Izoold. the guards who had tried to rape Anna in Forcystus' camp, he saw clearly their mutilated bodies. Most keenly though he recalled his blood rage in Triet, sometimes when he closed his eyes he could hear the mad raving of the beast that had snapped inside of him.

"Sometimes I do, but only when I must."

"Mama dosn like it."

"I imagine not, I do not either."

"Why..."  
"Because sometimes you have to fight to protect those you love. And I would rather die, or make others die, then see you or Mommy in pain."

"I thoud killin' was bad."

"It is, never ever think it is right. There is almost always another way. But when there is not, then Daddy has to fight. Sometimes Daddy has to kill, even though he really does not want to."

"When I grow up I'll make it so Daee neva have to fight again, and everyone will be happy!"

"Tell you what," Kratos smiled, he felt tears sting his eyes but just barely held them back. "When you are all grown up Daddy will help you do that."


	25. Home comming

Homecoming 

Chapter 25

There trip to Luin was long, longer then any other trip they had been on. While Kratos like Syt and his family he missed having peaceful moments. They had no reverence for the quiet, they were distressed by it. All of them, down to the children, felt they had to talk all the time to fill up the silences. It was a bit of a relief and that they came to Luin. At the sight of the city Syt's eyes widened. A sea faring man he had lived in dread that there destination would have no access to the water. The lake wasn't exactly an ocean, but it was something, and if did sport many fish. Kratos chuckled, and the men went off a ways to spent one last evening together. To split a flask, as Syt put it, though all knew that it would be Syt doing most of the drinking. Anna and Issia spent the last day together cooking and watching the children play. Lloyd knew, he understood that soon he wouldn't have any playmates his age, and seemed determined to get as much out of the day as he could. Syt's brood did not understand, thought one was a good two years older then Lloyd, they were not as hardened to the facts of travel as was the Aurion's child.

They had been on the road a good two months, all of it in the winter, and handled in easy stages. Kratos would disappear every night to hunt, or so he claimed. Anna a bit wiser to Kratos' ways knew that there were a great deal less brigands when they left a land, and what rations he came back with came from those dead men. She hated it, but they had had that fight early on in the journey. There was not enough resources to feed eight mouths, not with just one skilled hunter in their party.

So Anna said nothing, and helped Issia cook the last of their food. They would be splitting up soon, the winter storms were coming in hard now. Issia's family would be going to Luin, and Anna's... After much inner turmoil Anna had told Kratos that they could stay with her family for a week, then go back to PalmaCosta.

"A week at the most..." Anna had sighed. "We wont be welcome any longer then that, and we will have to pay them to stay that long anyways."

"Pay?" Kratos sounded shocked. "Why would we have to pay your family?" 

"Because, they wont take us in otherwise. I'm disgraced in their eyes, I left, abandoned my duties to find adventure. Oh I found it.." She had smiled, shook her head. "Got captured by the Desians after freeing some of their captives. My sense of justice made me leave home Kratos. Remember that."

Kratos leaned against a tree while Syt took a swig from the wine flask. Anna's foreboding words played in his mind. Absently he took the flask when Syt offered it, took a sip, and felt a vile taste enter his mouth that had nothing to do with the alcohol. Anna's cryptic warning worried him, normally blunt and headstrong her evasiveness was worrying him more then he cared to admit. Kratos sighed, rolled the liquor on his tongue, and swallowed. Nothing was strong enough to get him drunk anymore, he was immune to the effects of drink, and that was something he missed, sometimes.  
"There are times when a man wishes to be drunk, it help deal with pain." 

"Huh, first words you spoke since we got done reminici' an' all." Syt blinked owlishly.

"Are you drunk?" Kratos' eyes narrowed, a dangerous sign.

"Nah, I'm not drunk..." Syt blinked, swayed a little.

"Really?" Kratos lifted the flask, it was almost gone, and he could count the mouthfuls that he had consumed on one hand and come back with three fingers. "You look it. Stand up."

Syt did so, or rather he tried and fell.

"Bloody Hell man, I knew this was a mistake... Alright, I am going to sober you up, and I am going to use mana to do it." Power flickered in the seraphim's hands. "Anna can just be ticked with me, rather just her then everyone being mad at me at once."

"Hmm whatcha gunna do?" 

"Teach you the values of moderation. I should warn you, you are going to experience a hangover, withdrawal, and all the other effects of your folly all at once. But at least you'll be sober." 

Anna cocked her head to the side. She could have sworn she heard Syt crying out in pain. Before she could worry though, both men came back into the clearing. Syt was wincing with every step, clutching his gut as if in pain. Issia dropped what she was doing and ran to her husband, the children all went after her to tend to the fisherman. Kratos drifted in her direction, and slid a new flask into their packs.

"What did you do to him?" Anna hissed over the food. Syt looked horrible, he was pale and shaking.

"He was drunk, I dealt with it."

"By what, holding a sword to his throat?"

"No." He wiggled his fingers meaningfully and Anna snorted.

"My God, we need you to go to every chapel, the way he looks he'll never touch a flask again."

"Heh, that is good then. He tends to go a little overboard with the drinking."

"And what did you slip into our packs just now."

"A bit of wine I picked up on the way back."

"Syt's wine?"   
"Yes. I do not think he will want it though."

"You, Mr. Aurion are evil!"

"Anna, I am a representative of the greater good cloaked in mortal flesh and blood, there is no way I could possibly be ev-"

Anna tossed a snowball at him and Kratos decided the food looked done enough. War was declared when he slipped behind her and poured snow down her back. She pelted him with snowballs, he returned fire, and soon the children joined them. The picture-esk clearing was a tromped up mess by the time Issia called them all over for dinner. She scolded Anna for leaving the food to play, and Anna smiled and endured the older woman's lecture with grace. She was not defiant, but the twinkle in the young woman's eyes was defiance enough.

"You Ms. Aurion are not serious about important matters! What example will you be setting for your child on what to expect from a woman?"

"The best I can."

Annoyed Issia rolled her eyes, gave more of her well meaning lecture, then seeing it wasn't making a impact fed them all.

That morning was a bit sad, Syt embraced the Seraphim, wished him luck in his travels, and to look him up if he needed anything at all. Syt even went so far as to tell him that even if Kratos' time of need came, and Syt wasn't alive, that his family would do what they could. In so saying he bound his decedents to the Aurion families fate. Kratos promised to keep an eye out for the Syt's bloodline, to protect them as much as he could. He also warned that he was not all powerful, his vision not omni-  
present, and Syt told him he'd take whatever Kratos could offer.

Anna and Issia hugged each other. Tears fell from both women's eyes, words of kindness and advice from the lips. Anna then handed over a small booklet that she had composed while they had traveled together. It was a recipe booklet that the children could read to their mother so that her cooking would improve. In a way it was Anna's gift to the whole Syt family.

The children cried, well the Syt children cried. Lloyd had cried that last night with his parents. He knew they were leaving, he was losing his playmates, and having his spat of tears already done, he appeared to be the strong one. Lloyd promised them he'd visit when the came through Luin again, and Anna smiled sadly knowing that they'd in all probability never come back. After it carried on for long enough the parents took their respective offspring, and went their separate ways.

Lloyd sighed, snuggled with his parents, but seemed listless the next day. His sense of budding adventure dulled. Anna was concerned, worried Lloyd was getting ill from traveling through the snow. Kratos though understood, he had gone through this too as a youngster, though Lloyd separation from his friends hadn't been as traumatic as his own.  
"Do not worry, he will get over it."

"But what's wrong?"

"He is lonely, that is all. He misses his friends, certainly you know what that was like and went through it when you left home."

"I didn't..." Anna sighed looked away. "I never had any friends."

Baffled Kratos tried to press more information out of her, but she gave him the look and after his first attempt gave it up.

They paused on the top of a hill, looked down at the small series of squat almost militant buildings made of wood and stone. Steam wafted up from one of them, and the winter chilled wind picked it up and sent the taste of meat and something far less pleasant towards them. Lloyd sneezed, and Noishe made a gaging sound. Anna sighed, looked down at the buildings and swallowed. She was trembling ever so slightly, but she looked at Lloyd and gathered enough courage to speak.

"This is where I was raised Kratos, this is the factory that I was born in." she pointed to the few buildings that weren't exuding smoke. "Those are the colts, where the rest of my family go to bed every night, the rest of the buildings are work stations." There was, strangely a kind of cabin in the front, it seemed homely enough on it's own, but wreathed in smoke and with those crude buildings behind it it gained a strange sur-realness to itself. Seeing his what his gaze was locked on, Anna grimaced. "That's Mother's house, where she entertains the guests. We have to go there, and talk to her to see if we can stay the night. Just, whatever happens, try to keep your temper in check. This isn't going to be pleasant."

"Anna, you are worrying me, be more specific."

"I left in disgrace, they wont be happy to see me, and Mother is a petty tyrant. If I'm not with Lloyd you stay with him, don't let Mother alone with him for any length of time. She'll work him in the factories."

"He is three, how can any humane person expect a child to work at that age!" Kratos felt his blood simmer with anger.

"I never said Mother was humane Kratos.

The seraphim swallowed his anger, took a deep breath, and wished a bit selfishly he could hold Lloyd, draw calm and strength from their child. Lloyd's eyes just went from one parent to the other, a baffled look on his face. Anna shifted him a bit, closed her eyes, then began the decent down the hill. Kratos kept pace with Anna, and moved the more perilous objects out of her way. It scared him that she refused to open her eyes as they went down the hill, for some reason it scared the hell out of him.

At the door of the cabin Anna knocked. There was a long pause, and Kratos shifted his sword around nervously. Old instincts were roused not only by Anna's tenseness but just something in the air. And the vile smell that hung over this place had nothing to do with it. The door opened, a comely young man with Anna's eyes opened the door, stared at Anna in total shock. there was a tense moment, then the man who had some of Anna's features, but a sullen face, took a step back and let them in.

"You know where to go." the man looked at Kratos, then to Anna. "Strangers aren't welcome, only family can come in, you know the rule." Kratos snarled, his hand slipped to his weapon's hilt.

"That's enough Kratos! This man is my husband, he is part of the family, and if Mother has an issue with it she can talk to me about it." 

"You haven't changed a bit, Anna." The sullen eyes slid over to Lloyd, measured him. "That runt yours?" 

"This is my son, Lloyd. And if you call him runt one more time, like you call your own children, I swear Philip you wont live very long. If Kratos doesn't skin you alive I will." 

"No use to 'um unless their working."

"That's your small minded opinion."

"Heh, you'd think if your husband had any brain in him he'd of beat that attitude out of you by now."

"I'm not here to trade insults with you Philp, come on Kratos, lets get this over with."

Kratos shivered with rage, but kept pace with Anna. His silence was heavy, the air around him crackled with tension, and Anna suddenly spun on him. Startled he froze.

"It's going to get worse from here, much worse... Please hold onto Lloyd."

Kratos took their son, who looked baffled by everything that was going on. he'd never seen his father angry before, never had seen his mommy angry before, and he was fast becoming scared.

"Shh..." Kratos rocked Lloyd, and the youngest Aurion settled down, some of the fear left his face.

"If only someone would do that for me." Anna's lips trembled, and Kratos could taste her fear. "Gods, why did I agree to this..."

"We can go back, there is still time to find shelter from the storm. There are caves nearby..."

"No, we do this, for one night at least we endure this, then we leave in the morning."  
"Anna..." 

"Kratos, hush." She licked her lips, took a deep breath. "We go here, up the stairs."

Kratos sighed, held onto Lloyd and climbed the stairs. He noted, with some disgust, that the stair way was not lit with candles, there was even no place to put candles, it was as if who ever lived at the top liked it dark. Or rather didn't think that paying for candles was worth the effort. At the simple un-ornament door Anna paused, leaned against the frame and took a deep breath. She then rapped on the door, an age worn voice from the other side crooned for them to come in. Anna went into the sparse room first, looked at the leather covered chairs arranged by the fire dully. It was all one massive room that served as living quarters. A stove, a bed, he spotted those in the inky blackness that pooled in the corners of the rooms. There was only one source of light, and that came from the fire. He looked to the largest leather coated chair, and saw a blanket wrapped figure regarding him. The scorn in those shrunken black eyes, made Kratos stiffen. They slid from him to Anna. Then from the bowl that sat in the figures lap a spoon came out, lifted by a scarred hand. It pointed to the two chairs closer to the fire, then went back to it's bed of soup. 

"Mother, this is my husband, Kratos Aurion." 

"Mercenary." The voice was shrill, grating, and the seraphim felt his Son flinch in his arms. He didn't blame him, it did hurt to listen to it. "Not a tanner."

"Sorry Mother, all of the tanners were taken." At Anna's glib tone the blanket wrapped figure shuddered.

"None of your lip child. You left, and then you married below your station? Why are you here?"

"The storms are fast behind us, we were hoping to spend the night here, perhaps the week..."

"No." 

"She is your flesh and blood, you would turn her away, for what some error committed almost five years ago?"

"It's not your place to speak boy!"

Kratos shivered, his eyes narrowed. Anna went to him, gripped his shoulder, muttered in his ear in the Angelic language to calm down.

"Hmm think your better then me learning how to talk in a fancy language do you?" 

"No Mother..." Anna swallowed. "It is the language that my husband speaks natively, I only learned it to fulfill my duties as an obedient wife. We converse in it, because he finds more ease in it."

"You've obviously learned a few things..." the spoon dipped int the bowl, and disappeared into the crones mouth. "Tell me child, what are her duties of a wife to her husband?"  
"A woman must obey a man in all things. She must defer to him in all situations. He is her only concern, his wants and needs are to come first, the child's second, and her own last of all."

"You remember that, I am surprised... I recall once long ago how you had the nerve to tell me that was garbage. That a woman and man were equal. Tell me do you live by these rules, do you set yourself to them?"

"No." Kratos hissed. "She would not be the woman I love if she did, nor would she be if she lied to you to get us shelter for the night." 

The old woman's eyes widened in surprise at his rage filled voice, then narrowed.

"Well it seems you found some young puppy who shares your ideals Anna. May you have each other, and the storm take you both. You can leave the boy here if you want, we will take care of him."

"No, there would be no way in Hell I'd leave Lloyd with you for a minute, much less forever. We were just on our way out, I don't know why I bothered to try..." 

"Because you are stupid." The old woman snapped, then went back to her meal.

Kratos had had enough. He stood in one motion, his hand went to his sword. Bloody murder was on his face. Anna stood in front of him, protecting the hag with her body. Then she yalped, clutched her back, and sank to her knees. The old woman's hands were wrapped around a cane, it was raised as she considered making another strike.

"Remember the first edict child, a man's will is surpream. Never get in his way, ever." 

The cane descended.

Kratos was faster, with a hand he reached out, caught the weapon before it connected. It cracked in his hand, numbed it, but he still held on, stood with his son in on hand, protecting his wife. With a snarl he wrenched the weapon out of the hags hands, and threw it into the fire. He then ignored the woman's shrill screams, and helped Anna to her feet. She looked at him, ashamed and in pain.

"We never should have come here, Kratos, I'm sorry."

The door bust open, two men with swords came into the room. Kratos snarled an oath, pulled Anna behind him, and handed her Lloyd. He then stood whipped his blade around as the two men came forward.

"Philp, Frank, please don't fight him!"

They didn't respond, only came at Kratos in a charge.

"Kratos these are my brothers, don't kill them, please!"  
Cursing in Angelic Kratos changed tactics. Struck with the flat of his blade though he hungered to lash out with the sharp. It was a quick ugly fight, both men lay on the floor nursing broken bones and a few scratches, but nothing life threatening. Kratos considered them, considered finishing them, then he considered the woman who obviously ruled over then with an iron fist. Life would be much more painful to these two then Hell, or any death he could hand out. It wasn't for mercy he spared them, but spite.

The old woman cackled, it was an ugly sound, a insane chittering.

"You think because he defended you he'll honestly keep you? Autumn thought much the same, she came back with her man to mock me, to mock all of us! Oh he defended her, bleed for her just like your man." Kratos flexed his fingers, tried to ignore the tingling of his blood on his hand. "And he left her, abandoned her for some other pretty thing that swished her skirts." 

"Let's go Kratos..." Anna turned her back on the woman who had given birth to her.

"You order him around, you think he'll stay? He'll leave you after the boy's old enough to tend himself. But then he's a Merc. those types, they like to leave things well tended, kill there women folk they do!"

"Don't give her what she want Kratos... please, let's go..."

There were tears in Anna's eyes, as she pleaded with him.

"No, do not beg my love, do not look at me and beg." He kissed her gently on the forehead. "Let us leave this Hell hole behind us." 

She smiled through her tears, and they walked off, never looking back or paying heed to the shrill ravings of the woman behind them.


	26. A Gift

FairyV: I based her off of the main character's mother in "For Water or Chocolate" when I was writing this chapter I was reading that book, and she seemed like a great villan, and from all of your reactions she worked out rather nicely.

MoonCanon: Thanks for the complements and steady stream of reviews.And sorry it takes a while for the action to build, but I have this strong urge to write cute/fluff chapters like this one and... Well I promise when I get to the fighting it will be well worth the wait.

ArkNavy: This chapter is not exactly a sandwich treat that you wanted... You'll have to tell me if it's as good though. :)

Serrated Darkness: I'm no master of writing by any stretch of the imagination, so I think now that I have time I'll get to reading :) Oh and if you like what Anna did to Urik you will love what she does to... well to someone who has it commng... OK several someones who have it comming.

Chapter 26

A Gift

Anna squirmed, it was strange really, he was normally in the position where she was in. She hissed as he gently applied a bit of healing mana to her back, and under his hands her bruise fadded, the swelling around the injury disapeared, and the small infected cut in the injuries heart healed. She leaned back into him, sighed, then shivered. It was cold, he had a fire going, but still the cave was freezing. It had been three days after.. after the incedent, three long cold days. Lloyd and Noishe lay, sleeping as close to the fire as they dared, Kratos and Anna were a little ways off. Task done Kratos pulled his glove back on, adjusted it so that he could see the exsphere that rested on the back of his hand. He sighed, considered the gem. It was old, it's power was fading these days as the soul trapped in it tappered off into nothingness. Not that he really needed it's assistence, not with the Cruxis crystal that lay over his heart. That gems power would never fade, so long as Mana existed in the world around him, it would forever feed strength into him. Anna smiled, stood, then kissed him. With a shiver Anna left him and went to the fire. In the back of the cave he thought, he had failed to defend Anna in Izoold, almost failed at Anna's old home...

He recalled Anna's wound and admitted to himself that he had failed, he hadn't been quick enough, strong enough, he had lost control.

He would not fail her again. Never agian.

"Kratos, are you going to sit back their and freeze to the floor?"

"Hmm perhaps."

"Get over here right now, I refuse to go to bed with a cold husband."

Figure Anna to say that. He smiled, rolled his eyes and joined her. At his meek _yes dear _she snorted.

"You were sulking agian." She acused playfully as she gently guilded his arms around her. She aranged him much like an oversized cloak, then leaned back, looked at his dark eyes. "Kratos, what's wrong?"

"I am just worried, you got hurt and..."

"I was stupid. I lost my head and dragged us into something I should have had the sense to aviod." She closed her eyes, and he gave her forehead a quick peck. She smiled but did not bother to open her eyes, seemed ready to fall asleep in his lap. "I'm sorry beloved, I should have thought that through, I was stupid to hold faith that that... woman would change in time."

"No, you were not stupid, you just held onto your hope and love and prayed that she'd return it. If it is stupidity I think all of humanity needs it inflicted on them a little more often."

She laughed softly, cracked an eye open, and took in his somber face.  
"You need to stop sulking, your face will freeze like that if you keep it in that expression."

"It is cold enough for that." Kratos admited, he tried to smile, but her scowl told him that his attempt failed. "I was thinking about your crystal and ex-sphere beloved. Right now they do nothing for you, they are a danger to your health. I dare not take them off for that would kill you. Yet if I am not mistaken your ex-sphere is active."

"Active, what do you mean?" Both her eyes were open as she regarded him in curiosity.

"An ex-sphere drains the energy out of it's victum, saps the very life out of them while it is dormant. When it becomes active it stops draining the life out of them, and if the person does not have a key crest the person's mana will go out of control. This normally happens when someone tries to remove the stone without a crest, but there are some cases when it happens normally. Regardless of how it happens it can lead to insanity, death, and occasionally a monsterous transformation in the victum. If there is a key crest however the ex-sphere becomes a kind of tool. It can enhance the potential in a person, it taps into the dormant potential in a person and makes it accessable."

"I'm lost..."

"It gives you a bit more strength, agility, or perception. Each ex-sphere is different, but with the proper key crest attached they can be very benifitial."

"But didn't a key crest make you..."

"No, it was the Cruxis Cyrstal that changed me, exposure to very high levels of what we call Angelic mana, and... I do not wish to say any more of it but that there is a long complicated rite that one must go through. I had to ingest a certian toxin, endure a few injections of various substances to counter that toxin, and then be imursed in Angelic mana."

"Sounds painful..."

"It was." Kratos closed his eyes. "It was very painful..." He shivered. "There were of course some variants on my ritual that were not carried out on the others because of the negative effects that plauged me. My appitite for starters, the fact I still bleed when wounded, and several other small things that disgust Yggdrasil. Also I had to take a Aonis transfusion so that I could manipulate the mana around me, and so that my Cruxis Crystal could work to its full compasity. There is more, but you will have to forgive me if I do not go into more detail."

"What are getting at Kratos?"

"I can not removed the ex-sphere on you, nor the crystal, but I could alter the angelic writing on your crests... Or beter yet make you an acessory so that they would benifit you."

"Why do you want to do this?"

Kratos closed his eyes, lowered his head, and remained silent for a long moment.  
"I failed you Anna, I was barely able to save you from that woman... and if Noishe had not appeared in Izoold you would have died. If I make you this item it will keep you safe, or rather it will alow you to make yourself safe when I can not."

Anna shook her head, though Kratos could not see it he could feel the wavy locks brush across his chest. She leaned into him, for a long momet enjoyed his warmth and presence.

"You never failed me, I told you I was being stupid... If anyone failed anyone I failed myself. But... as much as I hate to admit it... it is a good idea. For the ex-phere that is. Don't even touch the Cruxis Crystal, it's scary enough when it makes me cold from time to time. No offense, but I don't want to tamper with it and accidently become an angel. I don't want to live forever."

Kratos nodded his head, he understood that wish. She only understood a sliver of his existance, and it terrorfied her so much that she would live a mortal's span and leave him someday. He did not be-  
grudge her this, he would have been horrified if she wanted to live forever, and would have stopped her from doing so.

"No offense taken beloved."

"Somehow we have to make you back to what you were, I don't want you to live forever beloved, I don't want to see you keep going and suffering like this."

"First we deal with Yggdrasil, we can focus on me when we are done."

"Alright, well since we can't deal with your little problem I think we should take some time to enjoy it a little..."

"Not with Lloyd in the same room. It is dangerous to expose him to Angelic mana when he is so vernable. He has to develop some resistance to mana before we can expose him to anything besides healing spells."

"Mana resistance?"

"Humans at a young age have no defense against the power of mana, they pick it up as they are exposed to the natural world. A massive amount that is drawn on... in say a spell... can be dangerous."

"That's why you've been..."

"Exactly, when I leave I do draw my wings, just so what happened in Izoold does not repeat itself. But to do so in front of Lloyd till he is say five or six, would probably be dangerous for him. I do not recall the exact age, but then when I was learning about mana I never figured I would be having children."

"You never wanted a family, did you?"  
"No, the right woman had yet to come into my life and inform me what I was supposed to be doing. As I recal that same woman also hit me upside the head with a frying pan to keep me from hurting her."

"Really, why do I suddenly recall how much fun that was?" She laughed. "The way you were layed out on the floor I figred you would have forgotten that one."

"I remember everything my love."

"Really?" She arched an eyebrow. "Then what's special about today?"

"Well, it's supposed to be a full moon tonight, in Izoold there is a neap tide in effect, Forcystus is to return to Iselia Ranch this eve, and ahh..." Kratos' face turned red. "Happy Birthday Anna?"

"You just remembered, and I had to remind you too?" She mock punched him. "Men are so worthless sometimes!"

Noishe cracked an eye open, and his tail wagged.

"Did you remember Noshy?"

The other eye opened, then it closed in a wink.

"He got me something I might add." Anna smiled. "Not that I really wanted a blue rock, but at least he remembered and fetched it for me this morning."

Noishe winced as if in pain, the movement made Lloyd wake up. He yawned, and rolled over and burried the Protozoan in a hug. Lloyd always hugged the first thing he saw in the morning, which had lead to some rather interesting situations, and lead to several trees being showered with affection. Kratos coughed, tried to think of something to say, or fetch. Fast.

"And of course you forgot... like last year, and the year before that..."

"I did not forget.. umm I have to add something to it and then it will be done..."

"Mm Hmm... I believe you. Well go run outside in the snow and find something then. Maybe you can find me another rock." Anna's lips twitched. "This will be entertaining to see what you do bring back."

"I.. do not need to find anything..."

"Alright then, what do you have for me?"

"Err..."

"Stop digging yourself in deeper Mr. Aurion, just admit that you don't have anything."  
"I need to go fetch something outside... I just remembered we are running low on fire wood..."

"You used that excuse last year, remember Mr. I-don't-forget-anything? Well at least don't forget to take the axe out with you this year."

Kratos snatched the axe and went for the cave's exit.

"I wager he comes back with a rock of some type, Noshy."

_Noshy_ barked, and nodded his head.

"Dear if you can't find anything we can do what we did last year, you could cook all the meals for a week."

Kratos all but fled.

Xxxx xxx xxx

"Every single bloody year!" The axe bit deep into the tree, tearing a sizable hunk out of the sappling. "How does she always remember and I forget?" The sappling winced under his next blow, he could have cut it in half with a pass of his sword, but was using the dull axe so he could have something to vent his frusteration on. "I will never understand women!" The sappling had enough, and decided to fall over on the seraphim, or rather it tried. Kratos was agile enough to avoid the small treeling. "The year I actually remember will be the year when the world ends."

He pulled out the rock he had picked up from the nearby river, and considered it. It would match Noishe's rock, it was a deep blue, and was conveinently layed out on a tree stump for him. Noishe had thought of his owner that morning when he had ran out to get his present. Anna wouldn't be mad with him, he knew her well enough to say that safely. She was just disapointed with him. And she had right enough to be. After all he was an adult, he should remember these things without prompting.

"A rock and a week of cooking... What a wonderful husband you are Kratos Aurion, thinking of your wife all the time..." The tree was suffering under Kratos' frusterated axe swings. It was fast becoming logs that they could use to start and maintain thier fire. "Damn it! I have to think of something." He looked at the sappling, the pieces of fire wood weren't giving him any ideas. He sighed, then pulled out the rope that he carried on him and began to bind the wood together, for a moment he paused, checked the bindings, then lifted it up. The stump of the sappling, he considered it for a second, the trees heart was a rich tan with faint whirls of red, so strange a color... It couldn't be natural could it? He let the packet of wood drop, then picked up the axe, it would be a bit late, but he could make Anna something decent with that wood. He wasn't very skilled at wood work, but he wasn't so bad as to totally bloch something that would be simple. Kratos smiled, Anna loved surprises anyways. A late day of birth present, or rather a spontanious gift, would please her. He considered the stump then swung the axe, and for once in a long time, miscalculated his strength. The wood split into three large pieces under his swing, and for a moment he cursed at himself... then he stopped cursing as another idea came to him. Gathering the strange wood, Kratos slid it into his packs. He then picked up the fire wood and the axe. It was time to go back to Anna and get scolded for his rock, then start on dinner.

For the first time in a long time, Kratos whistled a tune that was centuries old, a bit of a smile finding his face.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Hmm you've been secrative lately." Anna commented, they had begun traveling to Hima, having decided to for go a return trip to PalmaCosta. The snows had died down a little, and it was thier first day traveling in a long time. Lloyd was so happy just to be on the road again, he was running ahead of his parents whooping and chasing snowflakes. He was good about his wanderings though, always staying in sight of his parents, so niether Anna or Kratos had decided to rein him in.

"Have I been?" Kratos tried to assume an innocent expresion, Anna laughed.

"Yes you have, and I want to know what's going on."

"That would ruin my secret though." Kratos grinned. Then seeing Lloyd chasing after an animal dashed ahead to save him. Anna only shook her head and sighed with relief. Lloyd, it seemed, had been chasing after a skunk. That could have turned out to be a very nasty surprise and experince.

"Alright Mr. Aurion, you can have your secret for now." She called out to her husband as he scooped up thier son. "But I think Lloyd has a surprise for you too." Kratos turned to her baffled, and at that moment Lloyd dropped his handful of snow on his Daddy's head. Lloyd giggled, Anna laughed, and Noishe pranced around them all barking his strange bark-laugh. Kratos sighed, freed one hand up to wipe away the snow from his hair. His expresion was just a bit pained. Anna laughed all the harder.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Kratos considered the rings that lay in his hand. The two rings from that strange, alien, wood. He had polished them, oiled them, treated them, and had cast a spell over them so that they would endure both time and ellement. He had been very carefull about that spell, had woven the mana very far away from Lloyd. It had taken some time to think of an excuse to leave them for a while, and it had taken his consious some time to get over the fact that he had left his family for a handful of hours. Looking at the two rings Kratos considered the effort and slight subterfuge to be fully paid off. The wood, under the various treatments had turned a beautiful gold lined with whorls of rich red-brown, on both rings were marked with various runes in the angelic language. While part of him knew that putting anything on the ring would be damning to him if Yggdrasil came across it he could not help himself. Anyways the runes were not on the outer band, not in plain sight, but were engraved on the inside of the ring, the part of the band that would touch the wearers skin. On top of the rings, which were purely ornamental, Kratos had finished a bracelet for Anna, something that would tap and stabelize the mana from her ex-sphere.

It had taken him a month, a long month of effort, but they were done.

"Kratos, what are you doing standing there in the shadows like that?"  
"Nothing!" He kept his tone innocent, and Anna snorted.

She had been doing that a great deal lately.

"I just finished a little something and was gloating over it before I gave it to you... that is all."

Anna's brown eyes seemed to melt as she looked at the rings. She smiled, hugged him, and actually cried a little. He smiled, kissed her, and she rather firmly kissed him back. She then snatched up her ring, admired it, and then ordered him to sit. He did so, a little baffled, he obayed. To his shock Anna curled up in his lap, she all but purred as she weedled the details out of him on what how he had made the rings, and what the writing on the inside ment. Lloyd giggled, and sat on Noishe as his parents cuddled with each other. Noishe whined, looked a little offended to be used as a couch, but then made no more protest. The protozoan's tail wagged slowly as he watched Anna and Kratos hold each other, as he saw them both wearing thier rings. He too seemed happy with the arangement.


	27. The Locket

Author's note: Wow, I'm starting to finally get around to the point, or rather to the part where things begin tolink to the Falinor scene. Things get a little darker here on in as the fic goes intoit's climax.

I've been having some problems submiting chapters,all the paragraphs get merged or broken up in places I don't want. Also I'm not getting to read all of the reviews, there are times that the site will let me look at them and times it will not. The only reason I know some of you are reviewing is because of the e-mail alert I have set up. Oh and the tabs are refusing to work, as well as the center option, which is going to lead to some problems in the next few chapters... Can anyone suggest to me how to fix any of these problems? I'm getting to my wits end here.

Lady Serefina: Thanks...

FairyV: Same here... I have no idea what's going on.

MoonCanon: lol thanks...

Chapter 27

The Locket

With the last of the snows came the strangest visitors to Hima Rumswell had ever seen. Rumswell was a pudgy man of short stature, his hair, what little remained was graying, and flapped quite a bit when the wind kicked up. He was known by the people of Hima for his good humor, and a burning zeal for sunsets, and spicy food. Hima was heaven to him, for it had wonderful sunsets and a excellent chief who loved to set people's tongues a flame with red peppers. He had lived here for years, his ritual, would be to eat a spicy dinner, then run to Hima's summit with his hands filled with paints and canvas. Rattling in his thousand and one pouches were various pieces of chalk, charcoal, and other accessories that were nessicary for his trade. It was a noisy climb, and all the citizens or regulars of Hima knew what that sound meant, and normally made a break for it. So it was to his surprise that when he rounded the last turn to see three people and one very strange dog sitting side by side admiring the sunset. He considered approaching, considered saying something, but froze as he took them in.

He could not make out their faces, could only see their backs, they were bathed in the crimson light of the dying sun, the four of them were little more then ghostly profiles. Hints of red light gave a whispering glimpses of their features. The boys eyes were soft gentle, filled with awe at the sight before him. The man who wrapped his arms around the boy so protectively, was well muscled. The allowed his eyes to leave the beauty of Hima, to regard his boy for just one instance with fierce pride, then went back to watching the sunset. His soul mate, no other words could describe her, was leaning into the man. Her tunic, whatever pale color it must have been was grey in the dying light, highlighted with red. She had one arm slung over the man's shoulders, and she too turned from the beauty of nature to smile at the man, and playfully ruffle his hair. Getting no response she did the same thing to the massive dog. The strange bat wing ears wagged, the wolfish tail swished once, but the dog paid no farther heed, seemed as entranced with the light as the rest of them. Rumswell stopped breathing, considered them all, then began to quietly set up his canvas stand and put a piece of parchment. he then began a series of rough sketches, of charcoal drawings, and it was only when the light dimmed that he came back to himself.

"God Ruian, is it always so beautiful here?" The woman's voice was soft, gentle. Just as Rumswell had expected.

"Sometimes." The man's voice was just as soft. It was deep, powerful, almost regal, but jaded. There was just a faint hint of boredom in that voice, a whisper that such a sight had been seen before... Or perhaps that such a sight when seen again would never mean as much as the first time. Stupid man, if that's how he took everything in his world he was a fool. Rumswell humphed quietly, and was surprised to see the man's hand drift to the sword on his belt. "We do not seem to be alone."

"Daddy, pretty sunset!" "Yes, I guess it was."

"Grouch!"

"Lloyd, that's not nice... But it is true. Daddy is a grouch."

"Anna!"

"Yes dear?"

"Our guest..."The man called Ruianrattled his sword meaningfully.

"None of that is needed young man!"

Rumswell padded out from his place behind a boulder. He rattled the whole way up to them, and the man with the sword and the strange wing like cloak regarded him, measured him, then dismissed him all in a second. Rumswell decided to ignore the man, he studied the woman. She was, as he expected, a picture of beauty. Her form was slender, but powerful, her eyes dark with just a touch of mystery to them. Her heart shaped face was open, where the man whom she had called dear was as closed and guarded as it could get.

"Mi' lady." He bowed, or rather tried, and she laughed.

"Well Master Artisan, I was wondering when you'd show up. You have quite a reputation in these parts."

"Thank you my dear... It is a good one I hope?"

She laughed at that, then cocked her head to the side. "May I ask why you are covered with charcoal sir Artisan?"

"I uhh did a few sketches, the sunset was rather beautiful and all so I..." He smiled a child's smile, the joy of his work shone in his eyes. "I hope you don't mind being subjects for my work, its not right and all to do it without your permission, so I guess I should ask now."

"Even though you have already done several pieces, at least I presume that looking at you." The man's dark eyes flickered with amusement.

"Humph, well better late then never."

"Better never late." The man growled, a wind picked up, flared the cloak behind him like a pair of sinister wings. The effect did nothing to soften those stern eyes.

"Grouch!" The brown haired boy called from his mother's arms. The woman laughed, rolled her eyes, then gently scolded her boy. The weird dog creature barked, and wagged it's tail.

"You're outnumbered Ruian, you must be a grouch if everyone says you are."

"That is no great revelation Anna." The brown eyes seemed coated in ice.

"Well good Sir, it seems as if my drawings have offended you for some reason." Rumswell shrugged. "You haven't even looked at them and you are already offended, this is why I left PalmaCosta... I'll tell you what sir, I have a little rule I make with all people when I put them in my drawings. Before I do a finished piece I always ask them if they want me to do it. All I have here are concept sketches."

"If you are asking weather or not we want our pictures put in some gallery, the answer is no."

"But.." The woman sighed, considered. "You have a point Ruian, I'm sorry sir, but we don't want our images shown in your show."

"But..."

"You can use the sunset though, after all we aren't in that, just don't put us in it."

Rumswell was in a dilemma. He had liked those scenes, wanted to add to them. The crude sketches he had done, he knew they would be breathtaking if only he could add some color, pick a proper frame... One look into those icy brown eyes told him his life would be at an end if he pursued that trail of thought too far. They had looked so well together, it was one of those very few things outside nature that looked right. That rightness made him itch to put it in some other form, to hold it always... He wanted it, just a sliver, all for himself... But then maybe it wasn't meant to be his, maybe it was theirs.

That gave him an idea.

"I'll tell you what, how 'bout a deal?"

"No deals." The man growled, he began to walk off.

"I wont put it in a show or anything, not like there are any here... You can have it, I have a locket, some random trinket I picked up, I could put a small picture in their for you."

"Ruian, I like the idea..."

"What is the other half of the deal, do not trust someone when they offer something so freely Anna, they normally try to swindle you."

"That was uncalled for Sir! As a mater of fact I want to be paid for my efforts, a hundred up front and a hundred on delivery!"

"Your daft man, I could..." The woman named Anna stepped on the stern man's foot.

"Do you have any samples of your older works, so we don't go into this blindly? I'd like to know the skill of someone before I purchase their wares."

"Of course... Are you resting at the Echos Inn? I have a room just for me there all the time. I'm a permanent resident and all, and I have a small little place where I store old work. Would that be significant proof for you?"

The man seemed to hesitate, the woman gave him a pleading look. It was funny to watch as the ice melted from those eyes, to see them warm, then finally submit. There were no words to it, no argument, just a softening of the man's expression. When he looked like that he didn't seem all that terrorfying anymore, he looked human. Grudgingly the man in black nodded his head, his son whooped, and the woman named Anna grinned.

Rumswell all but skipped back down the hill, whistling a little nonsense tune. Anna chuckled, and pried him with questions the whole way down. Happy to talk to his work with someone who actually wanted to hear his opinions Rumswell chatted with the woman the whole walk down. The man in black considered them both, shook his head, then took up the rear. His hand never leaving the sword on his belt.

xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Not bad..." The man in black- no his name was Ruian, Ruian Synst- commented. There was for once no scorn in his eyes. Rumswell had been so happy to have guests, half the folk here thought he was daft and all.. It was so nice to have company, company that wasn't here out of pity and liked what he did. The people of Hima were just not interested in what he did. They saw the sunset everyday and grew bored with it. After living here for twenty years Rumswell never had grown tired of it.

"You show a good grasp of proportion, shadowing, and several other advanced properties of artistic realism in your work."

"I.. don't think I understood that."

"I see, so your husbands the artistic one in the family? I wouldn't have guessed." "You presume all swordsmen to be fools?" The tone was deadly, liquid malice.

"Phh no! My cousin went into that line of work, it's just the majority of swordsmen these days seem to be little more then bullies with little or no regard for the lives of others."

"Hmm a hazard of the profession I guess."

"So do you want me to do it, or not?" The couple looked at each other, talked without talking. To most it was unsettling, but to Rumswell he knew a little of what was going on. He never had anyone like that personally, but it seemed as if he found more words in his paintings then he ever did in any normal conversation. After a span of time, after that moment where they looked at each other they turned to him as one.

"It is a deal." Ruian actually smiled.

"And money very well spent." Anna smiled warmly.

"Now we-" They bothsaid simutaniously,then they looked at each other and laughed

Ruian waved at his wife and she took up thethread of conversation. "Wehave a few questions, and a few ideas on what we are looking for. We want a family portrait, something that has all of us in it... but we need it soon, we wont be here for more then a week."

"No problem." Rumswell smiled. "Here let me first show you the locket I have in mind, we can work out from there."

xxx xxx xxx xxx

Kratos rolled the locked in his hands, it was plain, circular. No ornamentation had been scrawled on the side, and at a glance it appeared to be little more then a talisman. The hinges were hidden, secret, and only by touch could you find the nick and open it. It was so finely made the Seraphim had thought it to be a product of magi-technology, but it wasn't there was no mana in it, it was just a very well made human trinket. His hands absently slid to the nick, applied a bit of pressure, and it slid open slowly. He considered the picture. Lloyd was perched on his shoulders, Anna had one arm wrapped around his side, and one hand playfully scritching Noishe's head. The protozoan sat, eyes closed in bliss, his tail frozen in mid wag, a smile somehow curling that canine face. Lloyd was smiling, perched on his Father's shoulders, he was leaning into his Daddy's head, his eyes filled with curiosity and happiness. Kratos himself was smiling a small guarded smile. His smile was more then made up for Anna's own wide smile and Lloyd somewhat goofy grin. It was day, the sky behind them pure blue, no cloud in the sky. Kratos frowned at the somewhat unrealistic background, but recalling the man's other pictures that had the sky as a centerpiece had to admit that he should have expected it. And that little bit of sur-realism wasn't all that bad, it only made the Aurion's stand out more.

Anna had trusted it to him, wanted him to wear it. When he first put it on, he thought he would go crazy with the constant rubbing of the chain to his skin. It set an unpleasant tingling across his neck, but time had lessened the effect. His seraphim nerves relaxed, grew accustomed to the chain and pendant. He had found comfort in it, when he had to leave them for spans of time to say hunt, or any other reason really, he found comfort in the pendent. In that he owed Rumswell a great deal.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Is this the residence of Mr. Rumswell?"

The woman behind the counter shivered, shook, and said nothing. He sighed, rubbed at his temples. There was a snicker behind him, he turned and his guard wisely shut up.

"Miss. I do not have time to play games, you will either tell me, or you will die. Which will it be? I would customarily prefer the latter, you understand, but I need to talk to this man. Perhaps we can arrange it on the way out hmm... Now, where is he?"

Still no response, save a muttered prayer.

"Annoying little she-beast. Fine, I tried to be civil." He snapped his fingers and a knife materialized in his hand. "Please try not to scream too much child, but feel free to scream just a little bit. I like to know that I'm doing my work right, and that what I'm doing hurts you a great deal."

The woman whimpered, tried to run. She shuddered, her body would not obey her, and the black clad guard looked away as his master clucked at the girl. As he whispered oh so softly, like a child telling a secret, exactly what he was going to do to her. The guard closed his eyes, but could not shut out the sounds. he could not close his ears as the woman tried to scream with his numb lips, tried to thrash with a numb body. Finally the soft hisses of pain and animal pleasure died down, fell into a silence that was punctured with the snap of electricity crawling the length of an enchanted steel blade.

"I have what we need, come along." The guard opened his eyes, what had once been a comely woman wasn't even human anymore. It was just a mess of wounds and scorched skin that looked out at the world with terrorfied eyes that would never again blink. The aging man chuckled, snapped his fingers, and the knife disappeared from his blood soaked hands. He then casually threw a key ring over his shoulder, the guard snatched it before it hit the floor. Whistling a tune the aging man clad in rich black pants, a silver and blue vest, and black undershirt, skipped up the stairs. He left bloodied foot prints behind him, his shirt front was stained red, his hands dripped it, not that he cared. He was in such good spirits, anyone would have thought him a bit tipsy. He wasn't though, killing just put him in a good mode.

"Ahh here we are! Shall we knock?" The guard said nothing, knew better then to speak. "Ah well, no point in it is there? I'm very certain Mr. Rumswell would appreciate a surprise anyways, keeps the elderly on their toes or so I'm told."

Crimson coated hands snatched the key ring from the guards hands. They were inserted in the lock, and there was a click. The elder human male on the other side of the door looked startled, then horrified. He stood, trembled from head to toe, and looked ready to bolt. The guard stood in front of the door, a whip in his hands, and the human froze.

"Good day to you Sir, are you a Mr. Rumswell?"

"Y...Yes..."

"Very good man, very good." The elder man smiled, and clapped his bloodied hands together in joy. "I have been looking for you, you have a little something I want... A picture you might have done recently, I'd love to look at it! But please, let's not all be business, have you have your evening meal? I have not, and I would like to eat, tend to me man, and we will talk shop over a bite or two."

Rumswell shivered, he was scared to death of this slender man with his steel grey slits that served as eyes. He then nodded stiffly, his mind a blur of speculation and worry. He went to the stove while the strange man, who had just barged into his rooms, brightly suggested what he should make. No, the strange man didn't suggest it, he made it a command. While the food was simmering Rumswell went to the small chest that held his most recent works, he pulled it to him, pressed it to his body to keep it hidden. Of course the steel eyes man saw it, he must have saw everything... But if he did he said nothing, only sipped at the tea Rumswell had made and admired the paintings that hung from the walls of the little studio. When he seemed most distracted Rumswell opened the chest, then dumped it's contents into the fire, at that soft sound the man turned, his civil facade shattered. He snarled, leapt to his feet, out of nowhere he drew a dagger then advanced on the artisan.

"You shouldn't have done that." The man's tone was gentle, a whisper of scolding in his voice. "You just destroyed what proof I needed, the concrete proof that would have helped me ascend to greater power. But don't worry, whoever you think you're protecting will get caught, right after I deal with you."


	28. Hunter and his Prey

Well if there were any doubts on who that stranger was they get resolved in this chapter.

Chapter 28

Blade snapped against blade, the young man grunted, tried to ignore how his arm was fast going numb under the raw power of his older opponent's strike. His arms twitched with fatigue, after all he had been on the brunt of several of these swings. When he thought his arms were going to fall off, his opponent stepped back, the young soldier fell on his nose and did not get up for several moments.

"Can't move arms.. too much pain..."

"If you can talk you can get up."

"And if I lay here for too long your gunna make me get up, huh?"

No response, course this man wasn't one for talk. He wasn't a swords master, a teacher, but a mercenary. He was noted along PalmaCosta for his grim demeanor, his laconic speech, and his sword skills. The wealthiest payed for his services, he had great repute for knowing how to get a job done, and for getting it done fast. No matter how vicious he had to be. All that a side though, the man was a master at the blade, brilliant, brutal, deadly. The soldier wanted to learn, and so he had done something that none of his fellow soldiers dared to do.

Laric had been persistent, had hounded this stranger for days and days, until finally the mercenary had agreed to have a practice duel with him.

Laric knew it was just an effort to shut him up, to get some peace.

That didn't mater though, he thought he could better himself by learning under this distant man, had tried to arrange lessons.

No luck there. The man was like ice, totally not interested in taking a pupil, totally distant from the pains of the soldier.

Laric was pulled to his feet by a cold hand. The mercenary, gesture of politeness done, left him alone in the square, well not totally alone. Laric's comrades stood in the shadows of the Government building, his fellow guardsman shook their heads. One of the few soldier younger then himself snickered, the others only looked at him in pity. Laric was one of the youngest soldiers in the PalmaCosta guard, over shadowed by a father who had served until his death three years ago. Always eager to show his skill, to become more powerful, Laric was well known to pick a fight just to get some practice in. Rain, snow, -though snow was rare in the sea side city- sun, he was out in the square practicing, training.

As the mercenary disappeared in the crowd Laric seethed. How the hell did someone get so good? He'd been training his whole life it seemed and this guy just tossed him around like a un-blooded greene. Suddenly, he couldn't take it, the snickering, the pity... Laric stormed off, taking a route that would lead him away from his companions, away from the damned mercenary, and into the mess of people who lived in PalmaCosta.

The sea, it always calmed him, he even had a little bench he frequented that looked out on it. He went to it, sat, and ignored how his armor scratched the wood. Laric was well aware of how the bench had many similar marks, scars from the other times he had come here to think, and it bore a gash that ran along the benches back from the one day he had lost it and lashed out with his sword. It was an old bench, this small scene facing away from the hubbub of the city, that looked solely on the ocean and was unmarred by buildings of the activities of men. Save for when the lone fisherman's boat would drift into view, but those times were rare, since the fishing in that section of the bay was very poor. The view, the area that it faced had no beach, very little of PalmaCosta actually was over land. Some mad man had suggested going beyond the beach, foundation pillars ran from building, sank into the soft sands of the sea, and where weighed down by stone centuries ago. And somehow that mad scheme had worked. Storm, tsunami, PalmaCosta had survived the worst that nature could throw at them. His mind was far from the though of natural disaster, or rather the one on two legs who had just bested him.

He was wearing chain mail, like all the other days, like every day, like every guard. But there were some differences, for one his leg and arm guards were more suited to a man wearing plate armor. They gave him a somewhat spiky appearance, and it wasn't something he minded. He admitted only to himself that he liked the spikes, it wasn't for the attention, it wasn't as if he wanted the girls to notice him. They'd be a distraction, and he could afford that right now. He wasn't like the other guards, going into the job to get the ladies, he went into it to learn the sword. That's it, that's all he ever wanted, to become the best. And in several ways he was, in several ways he was the best, better then all the men his age, better then most of the men in the Guard. Only the Arms Master could still get a hit on him, only the Captain of the Guard could nail him. And that was fine, that was good. He wouldn't serve anyone weaker then him anyways, and he did his job, and practiced the blade to get better. 

Then what... three months ago this guy just shows up. He goes to the captain of the Guard, and he takes assignments along with the soldiers. This mercenary, this power house of swordsmanship, just starts taking jobs with the rest of them. Laric had lost a handful of jobs to the guy, but then everyone had at some point. He was making a few enemies in PalmaCosta, and seemed indifferent to it all. In some creepy way it was like the guy wasn't even there, he didn't care what the world thought of him so long as he did whatever he needed to get done.

That freaked Laric out.

But what really pissed him off, was that the guy didn't even look twice at anyone else. Didn't take a pupil, wouldn't teach anyone anything.

Laric wanted this guy to teach him, wanted to be as good as him.

He had tried everything he could think of... tried even offering to pay the guy and...  
"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"

Laric came to himself, growled something at the old man, and moved to get up. Not that he cared if the man had a seat or not, he just wanted to be alone and didn't want some nosy old person giving him well meaning advice. His father had given him enough of that to last forever. 

"Don't go... I was hoping to have someone to talk to." 

This was weird, it wasn't the normal _I'm desperate and old talk to me please_ it was different. Laric snorted stood, but did not leave, and the old man took the other half of the bench. He was dressed in a rich blue, his hair was grew, with silver highlights, his eyes were mere slits in his face, his lips were a thin wire. He grinned at Laric, smiled without showing the teeth.

"I saw your little performance a while back young man, and I would like to hire you for your skills."

Laric shuddered, the guys voice was like oil, it was slick, too slick.

"If you saw what you did, then why don't you hire that Merc?"

"He doesn't have what I'm looking for, you on the other hand do. It's so refreshing to see hate in the younger generation, it gives me such hope for the future."

There was no sarcasm, the guy was sincere.

Nutcase, senile old nutcase.

"Hey, I got a shift in like an hour, I ain't takin' any jobs now alright. Go to the office, write a petition like anyone else, and it'll get handled."

"What are they paying you, a hundred gald per job? No.." Laric felt a kind of stabbing in the back of his head. "Next job you get fifty, because it's a minor guard station, no risk, little profit. I see that adage still plays.. or should I say pays... true in this place. I'll tell you what young man, I'll pay you five hundred thousand gald if you do me a little favor and skip your duties for the evening."

Laric stopped breathing, that was two years pay for one job! No it was more then two years pay! He couldn't even begin to imagine how much it was, how to spend it all!

"How squeamish are you boy?" 

Here was the catch, the snagging point, Laric braced himself. 

"I'm not... I've killed a few people when it's needful." 

"Good... Very good... What if I were to tell you that the man who just beat you cheated?"

Laric's hands clenched in rage, and the old man chuckled.  
"Temper my boy, temper... He probably didn't even realize he was cheating really... after all being a monster an all that he is. You see boy he isn't human, he is a lesser demon that posses as a man. He has bewitched two innocents and..."

Laric wasn't listening, all he heard was that the mercenary had cheated. The old man smiled, changed tactics.

"You hate him, and have good cause rest assured. After all he never saw your potential, never saw your skill, and casually tromps on your few weaknesses because he has cheated. That's why I think you will like this job."

Laric was paying full attention now.

"Yes, I do think you will enjoy this job a great deal, tell me what would you do if I told you this man's greatest weakness..."

"I'd use it against him."

"Good, you do have great potential to me then. Come, is there perhaps a tavern in which we can continue our conversation over a bit of food?"

"I know a few..." 

"Good, let's go then."

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Daddy!" Lloyd was getting better at talking, and grabbing, he was very good at grabbing.

"Hello Lloyd." Kratos bent, unclasped his sons hands from his leg so that he could walk. "How have you been today?"

"Good!" 

"That's good." Kratos smiled, Lloyd beamed at his father. "Now where's Mommy?"

"Garden, playin' plants." Lloyd yawned, and Kratos chuckled.

"Really, have you been helping Mommy?"

"Nope," Lloyd yawned again, as if to say plants were boring. Kratos smiled, Lloyd did tend to get bored a little quick with Anna's plants.

"Were's Noishe?"

"Noshy nappin'."  
"Lloyd, is that Kratos?"

"Yep Momma, Daddy's home!" 

"That's good, could you two come out back?"

"'K"

Lloyd scampered ahead, then looked back, and the mercenary followed. Lloyd was very serious about getting his Daddy to his Momma, and would only go so far ahead before turning around to see if he was being followed. Kratos chuckled, and kept his slow pace as they walked through the small three room apartment they called home. Lloyd and Noishe were of course together, Anna and Kratos slept in the room across the hall from their son, the rest of the house served for living space for them. It was barely large enough to serve as kitchen and living room, it felt cramped compared to the house they had owned in Izoold. If it weren't for the small garden in the back that faced the sea Kratos knew Anna would have made his life miserable. As it was he knew that she would want to move out when Lloyd got older, and Kratos agreed with that, thought they wouldn't be moving to a larger house when that time came. They would probably have to flee PalmaCosta, perhaps journey again to Tethe'alla.

Lloyd fumbled for the doorknob and Kratos chuckled and opened the door for his son. He was still too short to have it easy with doorknobs and the such. Kratos didn't mind it that much, he had no problems with Lloyd being small, or young. It was in fact the opposite. As Lloyd grew up their would have to be a series of talks, very awkward conversations and revelations. Already the local priest of Martel was nagging him to why their boy wasn't in school yet, it was custom here for youngsters at four to join the classes and learn... no be brainwashed into believing in Martel. Kratos just couldn't think of Lloyd in one of those schools, the thought turned his stomach.

Anna smiled at the seeds she was putting into the earth, feigned not seeing Lloyd, and mock fell over when she was tackled and hugged by their son. Kratos stood in the doorway, and watched as Anna, with soil sheathed hands, tickled Lloyd.

"Daddy! Help! Eeek!" He squealed as Momma found a ticklish spot, he tried to get away. With a whoop Lloyd evaded Anna's hands, ran to his Father, and was firmly picked up and brought back so that Anna could go back to what was important.

Tickling their little boy.

It took a while before Anna decided to get back to her planting. Kratos took Lloyd away, both Aurion men were filthy from their play and needed a bath. Shame Noishe had missed the whole thing, but then maybe it was for the better. Giving Noishe a bath wasn't a chore, it bordered on torture. Lloyd sputtered, grumbled, and argued, the whole time while Kratos cleaned him up. He squirmed, and tried once to actually crawl out of the washtub. Kratos firmly kept him in, continued to scrub the dirt away until he was satisfied that every inch was as clean as he could manage.  
"Ick.." Lloyd glared at the tub as if it was to blame. Kratos smiled, toweled his son down, and lay his clothes on the floor. He picked up the small tub easily, then took it outside and emptied it. When he came back Lloyd was hopelessly tangled up in his own clothes, having tried to put his pants as a shirt... Saving Lloyd from small things seemed to be Kratos' main job, he guessed it was part of being a Father. He liked that, Kratos the Father, much better then Kratos the Mercenary, Kratos the Seraphim, Kratos the Ancient hero of the Kharlan Wars... 

It felt right. All the other titles were shards of his past. Being a Father not only gave him a present, it gave him a future. 

Lloyd was safely dressed, dried, and he watched as his Father filled a larger tub that was always left hanging on the wall. 

"Big." Lloyd noted sagely, Kratos chuckled.

"Yes, it is a little big, isn't it?" Kratos grimaced at the water, it would be freezing cold, part of him knew that even though he could not feel it. Kratos gave his boy a firm look and Lloyd turned around. Anna would have laughed, she thought his modesty was silly. Kratos though could not get himself to bath with anyone watching, not even Anna. He recalled their argument about it the first time it came up, he fumbled with his belts, leaned his sword against the wall but in hands reach, then worked off the rest of his mercenary outfit. Anna's ultimatum rang in his ears even as the water of the tub lapped at his knees. He sighed, sat, and shifted a bit in the tub, then gave himself a firm scrubbing. There would be another argument on the horizon if he didn't clean himself up good. Lloyd was bored, shuffled around a bit, then turned.

Kratos froze, then gave his son the turn around now glare.

It of course didn't work.

"Lloyd you have till the count of three to turn around, one..."

That always worked, Lloyd turned swiftly, he only once challenged his father and let the count go all the way down. One spanking was enough for Lloyd, and it was enough for Kratos too. He hated when he had to hurt Lloyd to bring a point home, to discipline, and only did so when absolutely nessicary. Normally his voice, his words, his tone, his gaze, were enough to cow Lloyd in. Satisfied that he would have to do no more, Kratos went back to his bath.

"Mamma said to scrub behind your ears..."

"I normally do that." 

"Nu uh!"

"I forgot, _once_." 

Lloyd giggled, sat on the wooden floor. He wanted to turn around, to watch his Daddy play in the tub, but he knew better then to do so. When he was done Kratos snatched the towel, did a fast drying, and wrapped it around his middle. He went to the small chest, opened it, and armed with a comb descended on his un-suspecting boy. 

"Ack!" Lloyd tried to run, Kratos firmly snagged him by his orange tunic, and held him down. Lloyd for the life of him was trying to run away.

"Why is it you let Mommy do this, but give Daddy such a hard time?" Lloyd only kept trying to run. "Lloyd Aurion, settle down!" Seeing this was getting no where Kratos called in his last defense. "Anna! A little help here!"

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

The Aurion's sat at dinner, Kratos eating a small portion while Anna and Lloyd made up for his lack of appetite. Anna was experimenting with the fish that she bought at the market, this was one of her more successful attempts. If only... Kratos sighed, then while Anna was busy trying to get Lloyd to eat his meal scrapped as much of the tomato sauce off of his side of fish as he could. He had so little need for food he wasn't going to torture his tongue by eating tomatoes. No mater how lovingly Anna had prepared them.

"Come now Lloyd, you need to eat your tomatoes to grow big like Daddy..." 

Lloyd only glared at his food.

"Daddy.." Anna gave him a meaningful look. "some help here."

"Anna I am out of my depth, as a child I never ate tomatoes willingly." 

"Well you both will now! Lloyd, every tomato you eat Daddy will have one with you so you know they aren't all that bad..." 

Kratos felt some nausea coming on.

"Ahh I have eaten all I can, and was about ready to get up anyways." 

"Don't even think of leaving the table mister!" 

Kratos meekly sat down. Anna then stood over them firm as any drill sargent, making them eat three tomatoes a piece. The second she left the room Kratos gave his son a look that the boy recognized. He slapped his hand against his leg, and Noishe slipped into the room. Firmly Kratos took both Lloyd's plate and his own. He scooped the tomatoes on Lloyd's plate onto his own, then left his plate on the edge of the table. Noishe needed no second invitation. Kratos went to the bucket that served as their sink, then acted as shocked as Anna to the site of Noishe's tomato smeared face. The protozoan was firmly smacked, and chased out of the kitchen, then seeing her meal ruined Anna sighed and took away both their plates. Noishe was left outside for the rest of the night as punishment, but Kratos slipped out long enough to leave a blanket for their dog.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx  
"Hoy mercenary!" Kratos turned, startled to see the young guard approach him so cheerfully. He had figured that the man would be avioding him after his defeat. He seemed like that type. "Have a note for you, some fellow named Rumswell came by looking for a Ruian, he very well described you, so I..."

"Hmm I have a half brother named Ruian." Kratos lied easily. His face was cool and collected, while his soul shivered with warning. "I will take that I guess and give it to him when I next see him."

"As you will." The guard smiled, then whistling a tune, trotted off. 

There was something wrong with the young man. Kratos considered the prideful guard, considered the uncharacteristic warmth and cheer, and toyed with the letter in his hand. He slid it in a pant pocket, and watched as the young man wandered off. It was in how he walked, there was a smugness in him, and a eerie grace that was not their before. For a long moment Kratos considered going to the guard house, going with one of the small groups on his regular monster hunt. The letter seemed to weigh him down, the sense of something wrong made him hesitate. Kratos slipped into a side ally, then once sure no one was near by ripped open the letter.

There was no note inside, only something wrapped up in a piece of red fabric. Wet, the fabric was wet, crimson dripped from whatever was inside and fell on the envelope. Slowly he opened the fabric, long accustomed to gore the sight of a human finger did not un-nerve him, it was the implications that did. Letting the letter and the morbid gift fall to the cobble stones Kratos ran back to his home.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Noishe growled, paced by the front door and snarled. Anna looked up from cleaning the last dish from breakfast. Lloyd was asleep, taking a nap in his room, yet here was Noishe pacing in front of the door. That was strange because Noishe would watch over Lloyd when he slept.

"What's the mater Noshy?"

Noishe whined, his eyes were wide as if in fear. 

"Is there something bad outside?"

Noishe did something very strange then, he nodded his head, no bark, no whine, he just mutely nodded.

"There aren't any monsters here Noishe, don't worry, we're fine."

Noishe whined, his eyes still looked panicked, tortured. It was like he wanted to talk, he wanted to say something, but couldn't. Anna tried to shrug it off, tried to ignore it, but she couldn't. Kratos had once told her that Noishe's judgement was as keen as his. But that was ridiculous, Noishe was a dog. Dogs, while smart in there own way, couldn't be _that_ smart. Noishe whimpered, backed away from the door as someone on the other side knocked. Baffled Anna considered the door, then considered Noishe's reaction. She decided not to answer it, let who ever was knocking to go away.

"Ms. Aurion, be a good lass and open the door."

Anna almost dropped the plate, she knew that voice. Shivering she quietly put the plate down, then pulled a knife out a cooking from the bucket of dishes to be cleaned. It still had some fish on it from this mornings meal...

"Don't make this difficult for me, you've been running a long time now, be a good girl and I promise you wont be hurt... Well until we get to the Ranch, but you know how that is." 

Trembling with every step Anna picked her way across the room, sidled up to the door, but did not open it. The hand holding the knife trembled. Her pulse hammered in her throat, she shook, fought back her terror as much as she could and waited.

"Hmm.. you are going to make this difficult aren't you? As you will Mrs. Aurion, as you will."

The air around her tingled, that familiar voice hissed a few arcane words. The door blasted in, splinters went everywhere. Through the smoke and dust Anna could see a man enter, she didn't even think about it, she attacked. She slammed into the man, brought the knife around to slash at his throat... The Desian whipper snarled, threw her aside. She fell to the floor in a heap. Calm, cold, Kvar strolled in after his guard, an arrogant smile on his lips.

"Mrs. Aurion, it has been so very long since we talked, I was merely coming through the neighborhood and decided to stop by for a visit." His slit eyes gleamed with wicked delight. "It's been far too long since we've seen each other, what three... four years?"

There was the crackle of electricity, the faint reek of cooking air. Shivering Anna found her knees, looked up at the sight that had haunted her nightmares for so very long. Kvar had his head cocked to the side, a thoughtful smile on his thin lips. There was just a touch more silver in his hair, a few more lines of age on his face, but he was more or less the same. Steel grey eyes slid across her, violated her without touching her. Anna was back in her nightmares, lost in her own private Hell that Kvar lorded over. He smiled, understood the animal terror, and took delight in it.

"You seem to be doing very well for yourself Mrs. Aurion. Married, in good health, a child I hear. Such delightful news! I can not wait to meet your little boy." At her startled look Kvar laughed. "You really should have kept in the wilderness, my dear! You are all too easy to track in the cities, parading yourselves openly, not bothering with any form of disguise. Ruian, Aurion, they aren't all that different... You've made this all too easy. Of course the hardest part was your husband, getting him away form you for any length of time. It was so hard, at least until you came to PalmaCosta... Then he got careless. But don't worry, no fear he will come to save you, or what's left of you when I am done."

Anna shivered, tried to stand, to fight, but found her body would not obey her will. Kvar wiggled his fingers at her. Then laughed, he laughed his insane high pitched laugh. As suddenly as it appeared all humor left his face.  
"Where is your boy?" Anna tried to talk but couldn't, the Grand Cardnel smiled, and waved a hand at her.

"He's with his Father." Anna lied once her lips would work again.

"Really? Well well, lets check shall we?" Kvar turned to his guard. "Go through the house, kill everything that has life in it to kill. Unless... unless Mrs. Aurion would like to tell us if there is anything alive in the house... If she did that then you may not have to kill anything at all."

Anna shivered, part in fear part from the Desian spell cast on her. She remained silent, unable to speak. Kvar snorted, gestured for the guard to start his search. He went into Lloyd's room first, cried out, and was thrown into the hall. Noishe stood on top of the Desian, then with a growl ripped the man's throat out. Bloody muzzled, Noishe turned to Kvar, and showed off his impressive fangs.

"Hello there." Kvar smiled to Noishe. "Well this is the last bit of proof I need... So this is Lord Aurion's mutt..."

Noishe growled, crossed the room silently. Kratos' dog did not move like wild animal, a crazed beast desperate to protect his own, but took Kvar in with a eerie intelligence. With a smile Kvar pulled a wand from his belt, leveled it with the Aurion's dog.

"Bad dog." Kvar hissed. "Play dead."

Light flashed, Noishe howled. When Anna's sight returned to her Kvar was casually walking over the protozoan's limp form, going into Lloyd's room. He came out a moment later with thier son in his arms, Lloyd saw Noishe, saw the body of the Desian, and began to cry.

"Shh.. Shh little one, no one's going to hurt you now." Kvar turned Lloyd so he could not see his mother, so he had to look at the two corpses in the room. "These people tried to hurt you, I saved you that's all. Shh... I'm a friend of your father's I'm here to save you from the bad men who are looking for you..." Kvar met Anna's gaze, drew a knife from the air and held it to the back of Lloyd's neck. "Isn't that right Ms. Anna?"

"Y...Yes Lloyd...Kvar is our.. our friend..."

The knife disappeared again, Kvar smiled at her. He smiled much like a man smiled at a good pet. 

"Yes, now hush hush, no more tears little boy." 

Lloyd began to whimper, but at least he no longer cried. 

"That's better, come on you and your Mother are coming with me for now." Kvar smiled at Lloyd, gave Anna a meaningful look. She could not refuse Kvar, not when he held her soul in his arms and threatened to drown it in blood should she hesitate. "Don't worry, we are going to leave your Daddy a little note." Kvar glared at Anna and the woman found her feet. "Hold him." He ordered her icily. Anna took her son, watched as Kvar left some strange black box in their kitchen table. "Come, you can hold onto him while we walk. Do not fear host body, you still have a use for me, so you will live, as will your boy, for now."


	29. Rules of the Hunt

A/N: Short chapter

ArkNavy: You'll find out soon enough... and what the heck is KH2?

FairyV: Maybe, I'm trying to put up the whole fic before I go back to class, because when class rolls around I wont have any time.

Lady Serifina:Trust me this fic may look like it's over but hold on it has several twists, and the nature and extent of Kvar's involvment is one of them. During the Falinor Scene Kratos says:_However, Anna and I were pursued by Cruxis. We traveled from place  
to place, and when you were born, with you as well,_when Cruxis enters the hunt you will know that the fic is winding down, and the conclusion is something that I doubt you'll expect.

Chapter 29

There was a sense of wrongness in his soul, a gnawing doubt. He walked through the door fragments, and beheld a horrid sight. Noishe lay on his side, his limbs were twitching, the scent of cooked meat hung in the air. He ran across the length of his home, ran to the protozoan and sank to his knees at his poor companion's side. Power arched between his hands, snapped into the protozoan's seared flesh. Slowly, so slowly the power was mending the burns, he could feel it run through Noishe, it tried to heal all the damage but failed. There was too much, internal bleeding, physical trauma, scorched flesh... Closing his eyes Kratos dove deeper into his power, a drop of his blood slid off his wings, fell onto Noishe's face. Those expressive brown eyes slid onto him, tears were pouring down the canine face, then it was all lost in the green runes that pulsated along the floor. A green wind rouse from the runes, engulfed the protozoan, when it faded Noishe still lay on his side, but most of the damage was gone. When the protozoan made to get up Kratos held him down with a hand, called one last time on his mana. Water whispered around them, soft, gentle, it lapped into Noishe's wounds, cleaned them, mended what the winds could not. The whole house was filled with a silver blue light of his mana signature, the very air sang with his power. There was no help for it though, when the last of the power he summoned dissipated into nothing Kratos released Noishe. Slowly the protozoan opened his eyes, he twitched his hind paws, swished his tail, then with a grimace found his feet. With a whine Noishe ran... no he staggered to Lloyds room... ran straight to the bed, and howled. Kratos walked over the body, paid it no heed, and stood in the door way just taking in the sight of Noishe howling mournfully at the empty crib. Dazzled Kratos went from his son's room to his wife's, it was as empty as all the others.

Noishe's howls echoed throughout the house. Gripping his sword the Seraphim staggered out of their room, went back to the body, and turned it over. It's features were little more then a smear of melted flesh, it's throat a ruin of dangling skin and dried blood. The garb may have once been a soldiers, but now all it was black ash. All identification had been destroyed, cursing Kratos stood.

There had to be some hint something more, there had to be!

It was when he got to the main room, to farther take in the scene Kratos noticed it. A small black box, a rectangular box that could rest easily in a man's pocket. He recognized it, his blood went like ice in his veins as he recognized it. For one second he stood, numb, not wanting to believe. Reality would not change for him, would not bend to his soul's desperate cries. Hands coated in ash, with blood, the Seraphim reached out and touched the box. As if possessed his fingers slid to the small indent, the box hummed with mana, he could feel the power that it absorbed just by laying there. Not even on it ate the mana around it, fed the natural power to keep it self alive. Taking a breath, ordering himself to be calm, the seraphim pressed the small indent, there was a flash of grey light, then a voice came from the box.

"I imagine you know how to use this. You've come home, in a panic, no doubt wondering where you're pet's are. We will get to that My Lord, we shall, but to a more pressing matter. You may not remember me, my name is Kvar, I am a Desian Grand Cardinal. You have something that belongs to me, I merely have come to take it back. It's been a good chase My Lord, a very good chase indeed, you have kept me busy for almost five years, for that I thank you and now strive to return the favor. Your animal, I hope you don't mind his condition all that much, but as I understand it death's permanent. Unless you wish to go over their now and try to resurrect him... You can do that after we are done talking... Don't worry, it wont be all that long now, we are almost done. As I said earlier I only came to fetch one item, but as it is it seems as if I'm lucky. I snagged a little something extra. You know what I'm talking about don't you? As it is I have no need of it, I don't particularly want it, and if you know of me at all you know that what I don't want I tend to get rid of swiftly."

Kvar drew a dagger, the device was so powerful that it picked up the hiss of steal slipping out of it's sheath.

"But I'm not an unreasonable man, I'm quite willing to make a deal. I have an agent waiting for you in the "Rip Tide", he knows you on sight. Go there, he will give you your next set of instructions. Oh I imagine you will want to kill him, and all of my other pawns, feel free to do so... But I'd get the message's first, after all I'd hate to have to keep sending you notes like the one you got earlier today. I'll start with hair of course, but your wife will eventually run out of hair after all, and she only has so many fingers and toes. So be prompt, because when I run out of conventual tokens to take from your wife I'll start taking them from your son. Oh, and don't try to do anything too creative, you will get your son back one way or the other, but weather or not he is sane when he is returned to you... Keep that in mind when you get ideas."

The box shivered, then the grey light it radiated disappeared. Numbly Kratos stared at it, in his mind he could still hear Kvar's voice. With a snarl he brought his fist down, the magi-tech talk box broke in half. His soul raged, his mind felt like it housed fire. He had failed them, again! He'd lowered his guard and this Kvar had come in and taken his family!

"Noishe come..." Kratos' whisper cut through the house, and after a small pause the protozoan slinked out of Lloyd's room. Noishe looked at Kratos, met his eyes, and backed up when he saw the hint of insanity in the Seraphim's eyes. Kratos didn't pause to see if the protozoan came, he went for the door, walked out of the house, and after a second to get his bearings went in search of the tavern Kvar had indicated.

"We don't let animals in our establishment." The taverns owner growled, looking meaningfully at Noishe. Kratos paid the man no heed, let his gaze run through the patrons of the tavern. None of them were half elves, none of then were marked as were all the Fallen with a scar on their forehead. Some one cleared there throat, Kratos looked to the tavern owner with dead eyes. He took in the mans scarred face, the hairless head and dull blue eyes. "Your animal, make it wait out-"

Kratos cooly drew his sword, pressed it to the man's throat. The patrons looked on bored, fights were common here, deaths were rare, but still were dismissed as the norm.

"My companion stays with me." It was a hiss, a whisper, and the tavern owner paled. He didn't mention Noishe again, and all but fled the mercenary's presence. Annoyed, frustrated, Kratos scanned the crowds, and was not too surprised when he felt someone's eyes on him. Turning the mercenary looked to the darkest corner in the tavern, there was a man in the shadows regarding him intently. A chair had been pushed out, a mute offer to sit. With a stiff nod Kratos acknowledged his observer, sheathed his blade, then made his way to the table. He sat, absently shifting his sparrow-  
tail cloak so that it would drape over the back of the chair, he considered the young man before him, and it was all he could do to keep from pulling a dagger out from his belt and slashing the bastard's throat.

"Hello Kratos, having a bad day?"

The Seraphim only glared at the human.

"I can't believe someone as strong as you could be so weakened just by taking a woman and kid away. Guess you aren't as strong as I thought."

Kratos growled, his eyes narrowed to slits.

Laric grinned, and leaned back in his chair. He closed his eyes, seemed totally content with the world, he looked almost ready to nap. Sharp pain run across the Seraphim's back, he rolled his shoulders, exerted the ragged bits of his control to keep his wings in.

"Here's your note, and don't worry, we'll see each other again soon enough." With a smile the man reached across the table, patted the Seraphim's cheek, then walked out of the tavern. Trembles racked the Seraphim, he ached to lash out with his power, to annihilate Laric. The man's retreating back was little more then a target to Kratos, power sizzled in his hands, white, the aura of divine judgement. Pain, sharp pain, made Kratos come back to himself. Seeing that Kratos was not going to call of his most powerful spell, Noishe loosed the Seraphim's arm. Fresh blood marred the protozoan's face, he had bitten deep to make his point. Or rather he had tightened his bite when the Seraphim had not responded to the gentle warning nip that Noishe always gave him. Ignoring the small injury the Seraphim ripped open the letter, it was a note really, he ignored it for the moment, pulled out the lock of rich chestnut brown hair. He rolled it on his fingers, his mind empty of all but his rage. Noishe whined, nudged the parchment that rested in his other hand. With a shudder Kratos forced himself back from his hate, he read the few words scrawled on the letter.

Hima,

Echo Inn

Spasmodically his hand tightened, the parchment crumpled under his death grip. It would take him three weeks to get to Hima if he took Noishe. He didn't have that much time, didn't dare leave Anna in a ranch that long. He would not leave then there to rot for that long while this mad man dragged him from one corner of Sylvarant to another.

He would not play this game by Kvar's rules, he would make his own. Power flared in his hand, consumed the paper. He let the ashes fall to the floor. No one had seen the power, none had been paying him any heed.

Sane people did not regard the insane, did not turn their gaze on them for fear they would too become crazed...  
For a long moment Kratos sat, planing, scheming, then gently he folded Anna's hair, placed it in a empty pouch on his belt.

It was time to move on, he had a plan sired from his desperation, but it would serve. It would have to.

xxx xxx xxx

Kvar held him, was carrying him much like Daddy would. Still it wasn't the same, Kvar's hands were like wet snow. Lloyd didn't like being held by Kvar, he wanted to go home, to see Daddy again. He even said so. To his words Kvar would smile, and tell him to be quiet, that they would all see Daddy soon enough. Once in a while the world would get all blurry and spin around, then they'd find themselves somewhere else. That was scary, he cried the first time. Kvar held him tighter, rocked him just like Daddy, whispered soft reassurances, and told him it was all almost over. When he said that Mommy went pale, she looked scared.

Mommy never looked scared before.

They set up camp for the night, it was just like being on a quest. like the quest to stop the bad people, the little quest's Daddy went on. Lloyd scampered around their campsite, doing the thousand and one little things that needed to be done that he could do, Kvar watched him. Mommy said nothing, did nothing, well until Lloyd sat by her. She smiled faintly, held him, and her eyes sparkled. They sparkled like the stars, like wet stars. When Mommy fell asleep the old man named Kvar beckoned to him. Curious, Lloyd left mommy. Joined the man who was dressed in weird black and blue clothes. At his approach Kvar smiled. it was a weird smile, not like Mommy or Daddy's. Suddenly Lloyd wished he hadn't come, he wanted to go back to Mommy. But those grey eyes held him, kept him from leaving. Kvar smiled, reached out and touched Lloyd's face, cupped it so that the boy would look up. Lloyd shivered as the cold hands touched him, then slowly the hands slid, caressed his cheek, then ruffled his hair. Lloyd was so cold now his teeth were chattering, he wanted to run, he really did, but he couldn't...

"Don't worry my boy, this wont hurt but for a moment." Kvar's voice was a whisper.

And the cold that was in the man's hands seemed to creep into his skull. Lloyd's little legs buckled, and the Desian Grand Cardinal held him up, kept him from falling, all the while his mana poured into Lloyd's mind, gentle, he was gentle so not to wash away the boys wits... After all it wasn't his goal to drive the boy insane, but to make him a tool in his plans to come.


	30. Counter Measures

Chapter 30

Page after page Kratos scaned the report that had taken him two days to obtain. No longer having to resrain himself to shield Lloyd, Kratos had traveled to Derris Karlan. He had walked the days and flown at night. It had been a hellish journey, his body normally imune to fatigue decided that it didn't like the strain of journeying day and night without rest. He had no choice, had left Noishe in PalmaCosta, instructed the Protozoan to make for Luin. Kratos had gone to Derris Karlan first, in secret, had been so descreet that even Yggdrasil did not know of his presence. In the cold Hell that was the city of Angels Kratos found what he needed, then left, none the wiser. He now knew where Kvar was, he now knew which ranch the Desian called his own. Armed with that knowledge Kratos had some leverage, had a weapon.

If Kvar would take everything from him, Kratos would return the favor.

He'd destroy the ranch, all of Kvar's pet experiments, all of his research, all lost in the cleansing blaze of angelic mana. Everything Kvar had worked for, everything he cherished, would be gone... and while that sank in Kratos would kill the bastard. It would be a slow death, a long hard death. But first he would save his family.

He cursed himself for not just going to the ranch by Luin. For not just knowing to head there instead of taking this side trip. But he had to know, needed to be sure. Still his emotions did no bow to reason, they never did. Anna could help him sort it out, Noishe at the very least could pull him out of his own despair with a bite if it came down to it, Lloyd could just calm him by being thier. But he wasn't, none of them were, for the first time in almost five years he was alone. It chaffed him, the silence he had once longed for. He ached as the echos of nothingness whispered around him. The sense of thier absence was a festering wound in him, that chafted against his control, his strength. Without them he was weak, in that Laric was correct. Without them he bled, felt a numb death crawling into his soul.

How did I live before them, was I even alive at all

He knew the answer to that one, he wasn't alive. He had been a 'droid, as soulless as the failed vessel's of Martel. With trembling hands he put the papers back in his packs, considered the inn at Hima. He was of course playing the role of servant, hopping through the hoops that Kvar wanted, well the one hoop. Kratos was only coming here to put aside any fears that Kvar might hold of him not obeying. He hiked up the mountain pass, the sun setting behind him, and for a moment thought of the artisan Rumswell. It was a fleeting thought, a glimmer of memory that was buried under his mission. To fill that silence, to know they were safe, that was what he needed to do. To get them back, no matter the cost to himself, no matter the pain he must inflict on himself. Pain, his existence was pain, his soul bleed, his flesh screamed due to the strain. Having not eaten, nor slept, nor rested, nor taken a sip of water... Kratos was pushing himself to his limits, drawing on his angelic nature to keep going forward, he was running on nothing, drained down to so little...

He would not be this bad had he just gone to Hima, but Kvar wouldn't know that, nor would Kvar's agent.

As the third day bleed magnificently into the third night Kratos entered the inn. His expression was enough to make the inn keeper not pester him about pay or the like. Smart man, wise man, Kratos might have just lashed out with his blade, spilled the man's life out on the floor boards. He was that worn down, almost down to the animal instincts that had kept him alive after his exile. He brushed by the scared inn keeper, went to the common room. No one seemed to recognize him, at least not in his first scan of the room. Recalling last time he allowed his gaze to go to the darkest corner of the room. A chair was pulled out, an invitation. He went through the handful of people, wove around the few tables, then sat. Laric looked at him, took his disheveled appearance and "tisk"ed.

"You should take better care of yourself Kratos, you look like Hell."

"Shut up and hand me the damned note you bastard."

The soilder chuckled, drew out an envelope, then mockingly snatched it back, out of the mercenary's grasping hand.

"Really, you wont be up to much more at the rate you are pushing yourself. Please, dine with me, rest, then over the meal we will discuss this like gentlemen."

"You do not qualify as a gentleman, much less a human." Kratos growled. "Give me the letter."

"Why should I? I can hold onto it indefinitely, merely tell my employer that you never came."

"Kvar, your employer? Be realistic dog, he is your master, and you are his slave."

Laric hissed through his teeth, his eyes burned in rage.

"Shut up old man, or I swear I'll throw this in the fire."

Kratos stiffened, put on a reasonably good act of fretting.

"Please, there is a menu booklet, pick something we will talk over a bite."

"I do not take nourishment the same way you do. Order what you will, then talk."

Kratos shifted in his seat, looked at the man with a neutral expression. All the while Laric wondered over Kratos' cryptic words, worried.

"Certainly all men eat..."

"I do not, now then..." Kratos gestured, one of the servers came up to them. "I hope you have something you wish to eat in mind?" Kratos met Laric's eyes, his own telling him the man better damned well not take too long.

Unnerved Laric made his order, stuttered a bit, then handed the girl his menu. At the girl's wait for him to order Kratos asked for some water. The girl waited a bit more, at least until he snapped at her to leave. Baffled, because no one in their sane mind ever ordered just water when one of the best chief's in Sylvarant worked here, she left them. When she was gone, safely out of earshot, Kratos dropped his polite facade. He let Laric see the madness that boiled in his soul, the hatred.

"I have been raveling hard for three days, not to talk with you, but to get that note." Kratos smiled. "Kvar gave me permission to kill any of his pawns, and since I know you have that note your life now holds no meaning. So you can hand it over right now, or I can gut you right now. Decide before the girl comes back, I am in a bit of a rush to move on."

"Here." Laric handed the letter over in a sulky manner more befitting a child then a man.

Kratos ripped the letter open, tenderly pulled out another lock of Anna's hair and wove it in his fingers even as he read.

"Your master needs to develop a larger vocabulary, these one line notes are beginning to grate on my nerves."

He saw the serving girl leave the kitchen with a plate of food and water on a tray. When she came up to them she lay it on the table between them with a bow. Annoyed Kratos took the glass, drained it in one swallow, then stood. He noticed how the girl was subtly flirting with Laric, nausea rouse in him.

"Do not waste your life child, you talk to a snake who would put any to the sword to farther himself."

The girl pulled away from the soldier, perhaps believing him, perhaps not. For a moment Kratos considered the glass, considered Laric. It would have felt good just to throw it at him, to dispel some of his rage in a weak attack. No, now was not the time. Kratos placed the glass on the table, took a step back and regarded the human for a long moment.

"I have something to give to your master." Kratos produced an envelope of his own, lay it on the table. "Be a good slave, make sure he gets it." With a meek sound, the girl got Kratos' attention. Annoyed he turned to her, listened to her ask if he was taking a room for the evening. "No, I plan to be in Luin tomorrow." He said that for Laric's benefit, no one else's.

Laric stared at him, unbelieving, then took the letter off the table.

Satisfied, Kratos excused himself, and left.

"Do you think he was joking, about being in Luin tomorrow?" Laric asked himself, the girl looked at him for a moment.

"No sir, he wasn't joking, he meant it."

"Bloody Hell..." Laric whispered, and wondered for the first time in his life if he had gotten himself in too deep. Banishing his regrets with a shake of his head he decided that the food in front of him wasn't going to go to waste. He'd make his report to Kvar after he ate.  
She walked into nightmare, into her darkest most twisted nightmare. And if she cried out, if she whimpered or shook their would be no one their to wake her up. She wasn't asleep, she was awake, though she wished to the core of her being that Kratos would gently shake her shoulder to wake her up. There was no awakening, the only slumber that could take her now was the eternal. She couldn't though, she would not abandon her son, not like that.

"Ahh home sweet home!" Kvar cackled, held onto Lloyd who had strangely been sleeping the whole day.

Anna had been frantic, trying to wake up Lloyd that morning. Kvar, annoyed and awoken by the human woman's attempt to rouse her son, had ordered her to stop. The boy had had a nightmare, her merely forced the child into a deep cationic slumber. When Anna had dared to inform him that's not how one dealt with the a child's nightmare Kvar had slapped her.

Guards approached them. They bowed to Kvar, and said something in a language Anna heard all too much of. She didn't understand the words, but knew the tone all too well.

"No, take her to one of the Black Rooms, the one with the monitor in it... Fed her, bring her water, then leave her alone. She wont escape, she knows what I'll do to her child if she tries. Hmm leave my tools in the room, then lock the door behind you. I'll give you fuller instruction later on." They bowed again, then restrained her, and dragged her off. "Don't worry about your son, Mrs. Aurion, continue your good behavior and he shall continue to be in good health!"


	31. Crimson ties

A/N: Some action, primarily flying(I love flying scenes expect as many as I can squeeze in in this fic and in all my others), but some combat. Since combat is not my specialty I tend to avoid it when I can. I consider this one of my darkest chapters. You all have been warned.

Serrated Darkness: Kvar is one of the highest on a long list of villains that I have either been exposed to in video games, literature, or my own twisted imagination. This chapter that I'm putting in now did more then just put shivers up my spine, and I wrote the thing.

MoonCanon: Here you go, and enjoy!

FairyV: Like Kvar hmm ( bad Kvar impersonation there), and not so much as moody Kratos as glimpse of "Kratos of the future".

ArchNavy: I've heard about both games, and "Tales of Legendia" is a totally different game then Symphonia. Unfortunately it's only for the PS2 so I wont be doing any work on it...

Lady Serefina: Your wish is granted and then some in this chapter and the next one as well.

Crimson Ties

Chapter 31

Anna shivered, the room was dark, no not dark, it merely seemed dark. The walls were black, the and the white light above her. It turned the ceiling grey, it illuminated the room, but did not take away from the darkness it harbored. There was a smell, an all too clean smell, the scent of chemicals. She had heard of this place from the guards during her short span here before. She had heard them talk of how the Shadow Rooms had this scent of being un-lived in. Of being far too clean...

She hadn't believed them.

Now she did.

She was alone, a bowl of water left by the door, a crust of a piece of bread left on a plate. That was her meal for the day, that was all she was getting. She'd been here before, remembered the long days of hunger as it's ghost stirred in her belly. She went to the bowl, tried to lift it from the floor... the underside of the bowl tingled, it was.. how had Kratos put it, magnetized? Something like that, the floor was steel, and the thing in the bowl was attracted to steel, she could tug all she wanted that bowl wasn't coming up. It was one of Kvar's subtle torments, his pleasures, as he would watch and laugh as the mass of his human test subjects got on their knees and lapped at the water like dogs. Anna grimaced, considered the bowl and her aching throat. It had to have been a day, the hunger felt like it was a day old. Soon though her hunger would twist into her, would gnaw away at her mind until time became meaningless. The bread, Anna realized after a tentative nibble, was harder then a rock. With a sigh the woman dipped it in the water till it softened, then ate half of it. The other half she kept out of the water, left it on the plate. When the ache in her stomach grew too strong she would finish her food. For a long moment she regarded the bowl, hoped, but understood that she had not choice. She would lose too much water should she try any other way... with a curse got to her knees, and like that time long ago drank from the bowl as a dog would.

Xxx xxx xxx

"I'll be damned." Laric whispered, putting his glass of wine down and watching as a ragged Kratos slipped into the common room. It was impossible, Laric had been teleported here. Yet Kratos, he looked as if he had traveled through hundreds of miles of wilderness, his clothes were travel worn, ripped, muddy. A months worth of travel, all in one evening. Laric, seeing the man's eyes calmly sift through the crowd, shivered. It was safe, the man -if it was even a man- had yet to notice him. Then with a slight grin Kratos spotted him, nodded his head like all the other times, and wove his way through the crowd. Four days, four days and this man had probably traveled more then anyone else would in their life, and Laric would be damned if the bastard didn't even look winded.

"For a man who's on a mission to save his family you seem to be in a good mood."

Kratos chuckled, took the seat across from Laric, a smile on his face.

"What the Hell man, you must have gone nuts or something..."

"Perhaps." Kratos shrugged, "something has occurred that has put me in a good mood. Come, certainly you don't wish to eat your meal in here?"

"Huh?"

"I beat you here, ordered a dinner at one of the tables outside. Come."

Annoyed Laric began to protest. The mercenary met his eyes, and there was a searing explosion in his skull, a numbing pain, he wanted to cry out, to say something... His lips would not obey, his throat felt paralyzed, his eyes would not weep though he was in agony. From far away he heard himself mutter an agreement, felt himself stand, and watched, a prisoner in his own body, while he walked out the side entrance and onto the small patio. The second Kratos locked the door behind them Laric regained control of himself, he fell to his knees gasping in agony. He was aware of someone standing a bit behind him, but he couldn't lift his head, the agony in him... It knew no bounds, he felt as if he had been dropped in fire.

"This the bastard?"

"Yes, it is."

"Aye, so you're Laric eh lad? A damned fool you are, doin' what you did." Knuckles cricked unpleasantly. Laric tried to get up, tried to go for his sword.. The pain he couldn't... all he could see were the floor boards, and those black boots. "You wanna question him now or do I get a few hits on 'em first?"

Boards creaked, the boots that were on the edge of his vision came closer, then a cold hand touched his brow. There was another blast of pain in his skull, another moment of agony, then the hand withdrew. Tears streamed down his face, tears of agony, frustration. All his life he had spent fighting, being able to fight and now... now he was more helpless then a babe fresh from it's womb.

"Beat him until you have satisfied your rage... Do not kill him though, he is mine to kill."

"Wouldn't be arguin' that with you with that look on your face Ruian."

Then the pain that he thought could get no worse did get worse, as scared and sun worn hands slammed into him for a few minutes. then the hands withdrew.. it wasn't all that bad really, just a light thrashing.

"Is that all you are going to do?" Kratos' voice sounded amused.

"Aye, all I can get myself to do right now. I got more important things to do then waste my time beating the shit out of this one. I think I'll be cleain' my hands now, do what you will to him, then lets be off."

"Of course..." There was a hiss of a blade being drawn.

"Don't be too messy 'bout it, I have to clean up after you're done, and I don' want anyone stumblin' on this so don't take too long."

"If it were your wife and children would you take any such reprimand from me?"

"I don't know. All I know is that I'm lucky as Hell it wasn't me and my family dead instead of the artsy fellow. I feel sorry for the man, but I have to protect my own right now because I can't protect him, him bein' dead and all that."

"Understood, I will tend to the mess myself, you would be best to absent yourself for a few moments."

"Aye you don't need to tell me that... Fountain?"

"Yes, in a few minuets."

The impatience, the hate in Kratos' voice made Laric shiver, he gathered the last of his strength to speak.

"If you are a man with any good in you, you wouldn't leave me with this monster!" He wanted to scream it, but all he could manage was a horse whisper.

"Aye need to be lookin' in the mirror before you say anything of the like Laric. I love Anna, she's like a sister, and Lloyd is one of my boys, as far as I'm concerned you aren't human. You turn your weapon on an innocent, you serve demon's like the Grand Cardinal you aren't human. Make it quick Ruian, I know you hate him but don't drag it out. Make it slow for that Kvar bastard, not his pawn."

"Begone Syt."

The other man walked off, and he was alone, the stars gleamed off the edge of Kratos' silver sword. Laric tried to grab his sword, managed to get a twitching hand around the hilt, and he held it for a heartbeat. Warmth throbbed from his hand, the ex-sphere gave him the power to work around the pain, to draw out his weapon. He blocked the chop that would have split his head down the middle. With a grunt he managed to find his feet, to shrug off the attack that would have left his arm numb. Kratos regarded him, considered his new power and nodded. Kratos brought his sword around, Laric managed to catch the blow. This time when he pushed back the mercenary did not move. Did not respond to the new power that Laric wielded, did not bow to it.

_This item, taken from the life of another of your specie, will give you the strength of ten men. _

Kvar's words echoed in his mind, he grinned, drew deeper in the ex-sphere's power. His shirt that had been loose, tightened as his muscles swelled due to the burst of mana they absorbed. Kratos took a step back, for a second disgust touched his face, then he brought his weapon to block the impossibly fast swipe that Laric delivered.

"So you have truly sold what remains of your soul for power."

"Shut up, what do you know about souls? You must have sold yours to get where you are!"

Kratos calmly regarded his foe, his face and eyes empty of all emotion.

"You were one of the best, you never could have measured up to me because of what I am. You had a life, ambitions, dreams, and you toss it aside for something as stupid as pride."

"Shut up!" Laric roared, he aimed a thrust Kratos' chest. Coldly the mercenary side stepped the wild attack, his sword flashed between them, then Laric's blade fell to the ground, still gripped by his hand. Power that had been fed into him flickered and died, Laric wailed, clutched his hand stump, then there was another flash of pain...

Kratos did not bother to salute his foe as he would have for a honorable opponent. Laric did not deserve such respect. He had far too much practice with this, he mused as he pulled his sword out from the back of Laric's skull. The sword make a grinding sound as it slid through the shattered bone. Yet the strike had been clean, he had effectively shut off his opponents vital organs by piercing the part of his brain that conducted each organ's movements. Kratos knelt by the man's side, white power arched in his hands. Laric's body spasomed, then turned to dust from it's brush with angelic mana. He passed his hands over the bloody spots on the deck, and watched as the blood shined silver, then it too turned to dust. Kratos took a step back, considered the clean up, then winced as blood from his sword fell on the deck. He should have first grabbed the man's cloak, cleaned his blade, then destroyed the evidence.  
A wind stirred, clothes on a nearby string danced in the night breeze. Kratos turned, watched them for a moment as they danced on the string, as much as they could anyways. Opportunity never knocked more then once, that's how the old saying went. As if to disprove it the clothes stirred yet again, repeating the soft noise that had gotten his attention in the first place.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

She lay, not on the table that so many other's had lain before, but on the floor. She slept, shivered in her sleep, from the cold. Her clothes were in tatters, they could not keep her from being cold and miserable. Despite being ordered to leave her alone the guards had come for her, had tried to... She swallowed, forced down the memories of those rough hands. She gripped the hilt of her blood stained knife all the tighter. They had come a little while ago, taken the corpse out of the room. She had watched them do it, they had watched her, weary of another attack. Now, at least now they were leaving her alone. She gave up on sleep, sat up, and held herself. She hadn't seen Lloyd in days, hadn't been told anything that was going on with him. If her situation was bad... then his must be a thousand times worse. She closed her eyes, wept for her Son, and wondered if perhaps Kratos had left them here, if he didn't have the power to stop Kvar.

"Kratos, come for us please... Don't leave us here..." She bowed her head, wept into her knees.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Kratos paced, his cloak snapped behind him with each sharp turn he made. Back and forth, he had probably covered the length of the fountain thirty times. Each lap added to his rage. Each lap made him seethe, but he had to restrain himself, had to hold himself in check. His allies were human, were not aided by any Desian or Cruxis technology. Syt came then, he heard the man, saw the man, before Syt's rather limited powers of perception could make Kratos out from the thousand and one shadows that filled the square.

"All's set Ruian, we have all that you asked. I'm taken it Anna's gunna be in bad shape when you get her back."

"Bad is not the word, Kvar is a sadist of the worst kind... if she is... if she is alive then..."

"She is alive. I know now don't you go doubtin' me on this. Go, all the medical stuffs ready, we whapped the Doc upside the head and tied him up in our house. The children are with a friend for a week. Everything's closed as closed gets. But you have to be back by tonight, you hear? He'll be missed if he's gone any longer."

Kratos didn't respond, he merely drew his wings. Syt paled at the sight of Kratos' wings, they were frayed, chaotic. Even as the Seraphim kicked off the ground and soared off Syt felt his blood turn to ice. Ruian had once told him a Seraphim's wings betrayed his soul. If that was Ruian's soul... Syt shivered.

"Martel, help them, keep them safe."

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Wind rushed around him, tugged at him even as he fought against it. It was a slightly breezy night to those on the ground, but as high up as he was the winds were more potent. His clothes were pressed against him, his cloak flared behind him like another set of wings. His wings snapped up and down, threw him against the air. He could feel them quaking, he'd never used them like this before, never had them out this long before, never had he strained against the limitations of his existence so much

The world below was a blur of black green, the sky above obsidian with nicks of silver. He did not look up though, he glimpsed the sky from the lake of Luin, he glimpsed it as he followed one of the small man made rivers that lead to where Kvar hid his forces. A sudden breeze picked up, his left wings slowed their mad pumping while his right picked up the pace. The stillness, the tautness of his left wings and the motion of his right made him slowly turn. The motion was a little like a rafter who would paddle on one side of his vessel, the motions on that one side rather then the alternating strokes on both sides made him turn. Unlike the said rafter he dropped as he circled the area where the river just suddenly stopped. He could feel mana whenever he looked beyond the river, when he regarded the forest. For a moment he studied it, to any unversed in nature it would look much the same as any other patch of forest. There were trees, yet there were many flaws. All the trees looked more or less the same, there were five specie of tree around Luin, this rather large patch only had one. And all the trees looked exactly the same...

He drew his right wings together, they pressed together, formed on greater wing, or rather the illusion of a large wing. Gravity pulled on him, with the left wings he snapped against the air. He dove down, veered away from the hidden fortress, when the trees brushed at the soles of his boots Kratos unfurled his left wings, stilled his right. Though he still plunged through the branches, though he still fell, the force of his earlier motion made him turn. When he was facing the right direction flared both his wings as wide as they could go. He could feel them strain, the rips in his flesh around where they poked out ripped a bit, and fresh blood gathered at the base of each feathered membrane. The force of his dive, and his sudden stalling, pushed him back. It pushed him away from the ground, sent him flying backwards. The energy of his motion made the air around him shiver, made his muscles tingle with strain. He gathered that energy, the potential, energy, the residue energy from his dive, he drew that all around him and the tingle around him intensified. Then he channeled the power, turned it into raw speed. His wings were whirling as he threw him forward. He blazed through the forest, a harsh snap of one wing would send him to the side, this allowed him to weave through the trees without slowing down.

A tingling assaulted his body, the air around him shimmered, then what had been trees was now a steel wall. Snarling a curse Kratos stilled his wings, his feet touched the earth, kicked off... He managed to keep most of his momentum, turn it from a wild rush into a decent leap. The Seraphim kicked off the earth, kicked off of one of the protrusions of the fortress' wall, then snapped his wings down wildly. He just barely made it over the wall, a guard looked up, lifted a cross bow. The Desian didn't live long enough to pull the trigger. He held back none of his angelic strength, the solder fell in a bloody mess under the swing of Kratos' broadsword. Landing on the wall Kratos withdrew his wings, he had strained them enough for now, he would draw them out later if he could... A voice cried out in elvish, the Seraphim pulled a dagger from his boot and threw. The cried of alarm turned to a gurgle, there was a loud thump a few moments later. Alarms whooped, lights flashed, combed the walls.  
"Damn it! I do not have time for this..."

From either side three Desian's came out of the very night air, someone had teleported them in. Arrows hissed through the air, one of them drew a symbol in the air and a bolt of lightening streaked down from the heavens. All the attacks hit nothing but air, as the Seraphim had merely leapt from the wall. He grunted as the air was blasted out of him, he broke into a staggering run. A few archers managed to shoot at him while he ran, luckily they all missed their mark.

xxx xxx xxx

Lloyd lay down in his lap, sleeping. He did that quite a bit, not that Kvar minded. Every time the boy took a nap Kvar would gently nudge the boy's mind, mold it into what he needed. Hatred, malice, all were dreadfully dormant in his boy. He coaxed them into wakefulness, being oh so gentle about the whole thing. After all he needed a heir who was sane, who possessed his full wits. Lloyd yawned, stirred, and Kvar ruffled the boys hair. So he heard it too, the howl of the alarms. Lloyd cocked his head to the side in confusion, obviously he heard but did not understand what the noise meant. Kvar didn't quite like that gesture, he'd take some time later on to train it out of him.

"The bad man I warned you about is coming." Kvar said softly. "He's coming to take you away now."

Lloyd whimpered, looked frightened. Kvar smiled, gave his boy's shoulder a squeeze. Lloyd relaxed under the familiar cold hand, took comfort in the gesture, as he was well supposed to.

"I can't stop him right now, but I will get you back. I promise."

Lloyd nodded his head, tried to look brave. Kvar gently took his boy up in his arms. He had so little time left, so little time with this one. Kvar had just barely began to mold him, to coax him down the path that human's termed as the fallen. Humans were fools in that way, but not his, not his human.

"Do you remember the game we played with the rabbit and the knife?"

"Yep!"

"Good, I want you to remember that, remember everything I told you. No mater what the man and woman who take you away say, you remember that game. We had a lot of fun didn't we?"

Lloyd smiled.

"You need a little more practice though, you aren't very good yet, but when I get you back we'll work on that. Do you remember how I showed you to slash the throat, to make it quick?"

"Uh huh!"

"Good, and remember, it's the same side on a person as it is on the rabbit."  
Lloyd looked a bit confused, Kvar was more then happy to clarify what he said.

"Maybe, when the woman's asleep you can play with a knife and the human. When you do that I'll know where you are, and I'll find you really quick, now... Daddy has to tend to some adult things. You stay put in this room."

Kvar sighed, took in the small bed and bare walls. It was rather dull, boring even.

"Would you like me to bring you a knife, and a new toy before I go?"

"Nope."

Lloyd looked at his old toy in interest. It was still alive. Soon though it would be very dead, it's life blood splurted out of the wound over it's heart. All and all it was a good thrust, it didn't kill quickly, but that wasn't the point of the game. Kvar had done the damage himself, had left it in Lloyd's room so he would grow accustomed to the sight of death and dieing. How he had cried the first few times! How he had gone to Kvar and cried in his tunic! Kvar had held him then, told him that everything had to die at some point. Kvar never wanted Lloyd hurt, so he did this to make Lloyd strong against death. Personally the Desian didn't understand why the Seraphim had left such vital life training go untended for so long.

"Alright then, I'll come back for you as soon as I can." Kvar smiled down at his boy. "And remember..."

"Left to right!" Lloyd chirped.

"There's a good lad." Kvar bent, ruffled the boys brown hair not so different from his own when he had been young.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Mrs. Aurion..."

Anna shivered, stood, and turned expecting to see Kvar behind her. No, he wasn't in the room, his image was though. It was the faint blue tint, the translucency, that told Anna that he was not with her.

"How are you feeling Mrs Aurion, well rested I hope? As much as I'd love to hear your response I am afraid I don't have time for pleasantries. Your husband has violated our little game, he is here in my fortress even now blasting it to bits and looking for you. He has killed my men, my messengers, and now threatens to do the same to me." The old half elf's image shrugged, as if his death was un-  
important. "As it stands we have little less then half an hour before he barges in here, and takes you back. Your son though... now we have a little predicament don't we? He is in my personal quarters, while your cell is clear on the other side of the fortress. He is sleeping right now, I've been taking very good care of him, much better then you host body. He is totally ignorant of the true nature of this facility, I have been keeping my hobbies from him, and the guards know very well not to lay a hand on him, or even to speak harshly to him."  
Anna froze, hope and fear rising in her.

"That could change in any moment, I could kill him, and I will. The second your husband enters this room I will personally slash his throat, and you both may watch. That is after all why I have the monitor in here for, it's a fascinating device that..." Static hissed, Kvar's image grew fuzzy. "Hmm annoying human, he seems to have knocked out the camera's power source, never fear though, while his entrance and wanderings in my fortress will remain unrecorded we can still talk to each other. I have a private generator in my own quarters after all, something that he probably never suspected. The monitor will still work, and the camera that links it to this room is still functional, after all we're still talking aren't we?"

Anna nodded her head, her mind whirling as she tried to figure out how to warn Kratos to find Lloyd first.

"Imagine as he holds you you get to hear your son's final wail. Have you ever seen someone's throat slashed before Mrs. Aurion?"

Anna shook her head.

"It's a rather messy a fair. You see, if you do it right the person chokes on their own blood before they bleed to death, and trust me when I say this Mrs. Aurion... I have had plenty of practice, you both can watch as your son chokes to death. It's a rather pleasant sound they make, the eyes bulge out, the person falls over thrashing, choking. Perhaps even bringing a hand up to stem the flow of blood, although at that point it's a futile exercise. They then gurgle, go limp, and slump forward, dead. Of course they bleed for a little while longer, after all one of their main arteries has been cut."

Tears stung her eyes, Anna found her feet.

"You bastard! I'll..."

"Do what Mrs. Aurion? My guards have locked the door, they will stay there until they meet their death at your husbands hands, and if you get out they have standing orders to kill you. You are completely helpless... Now while I'd normally take the time for your anxiety to build, or even make an example of some brat that we have in the facility, I'm in a bit of a rush. So I'll be quick about this. You can stop this, you can do something for me and I spare your Son."

"What... anything..."

"You do know what a Key Crest is, don't you? If so, show me."

Modesty had no place, she took off her tunic and ignored Kvar's humored chuckle. He regarded her for a moment, took a long look at her ex-sphere then looked at the cruxis crystal in her throat. When his eyes strayed down Anna glared at him, he laughed.

"God has given you many gifts host body A012, is strength one of them? There are an assortment of knives on the table, I only see a Crest on your throat so you'll have to be very careful when you cut it off wont you? I'd be a shame if you accidently slashed your throat."

"What!"

"It's that, or your son dies... Oh, and if you die in the attempt to remove your crest then I will consider that sufficient and your son will be spared."

Anna trembled, then went to the tray, there were several knives awaited her.

"Come now, don't dither, your husband is very near after all. If you aren't done when he comes in the room, if that crest is still attached to your skin by even a sliver, I will go in the back room and kill your only child. Tick tock..."

"Shut up!"

Kvar smiled, his image wasn't going anywhere. He hummed a little tune while Anna picked up a knife and turned it on herself. Then sat back and clasped his hands in his lap while she tapped against the band of metal around the base of her throat.

"Time is wasting... What do my monitors spot an angelic presence in the hall that leads to your room?" His voice was high pitched, a mock pronouncement of doom. "Ahh well, wrong hall, my he does move fast doesn't he?"

"I thought I told you to shut..."

"The room isn't sound proof Mrs. Aurion, far from it, if you scream loud enough he might hear you."

Anna fell silent.

"Now get to what you were doing Mrs. Aurion, you seem uncomfortable doing this with an audience, so I'll leave, make a little snack. When my monitors tell me he is in the hall I will re-appear to assess if you are done or not. If you don't look like you'll be finished with this little chore in a moment of two then I will go back and do what needs to be done."

His image disappeared. Anna shivered, then with the knife still in her hand began to cut at the skin around her throat. It hurt, burned, she wanted to scream, to stop... Gripping the edge of the metal band Anna tugged, and felt it give a little. She would have to cut around the whole Crystal.. there was no other way. With crimson hands she turned the knife about, and began to work more furiously, desperate to finish, she had no choice. Tears blurred her vision, streamed down her face... And somewhere, form far away, she thought she heard Kvar's manic laughter.


	32. Untitled email me ideas please

A/N Can't think of a title for this one, e-mail me suggestions if you have any. But you can definatly see Kratos at his strongest in this chapter's conclusion... well at least that's my opinion. Enjoy.

Chapter 32

Power hissed in his hands, he had called on his mana so much that his hands gave off an eerie silver blue light. The rooms were all dark, painted black, and with the power source to the lights giving off it's last splurts of mana the lights flickered. He had been a bit overzealous when destroying the Ranches three mana reactors, now Anna was some where in these dark rooms, alone. He was in a maze of these black rooms, and while most of them were empty, some of them were not. He recalled with a grimace the first body. Bloated by the gasses in it, with a touch of rot, it had been cut open and in the gashes were old scorch marks. Obviously Kvar had so many toys he forgot to clean up after himself, or perhaps he liked the smell of the bodies. Insane people were like that.

"Anna!" He walked out of the room, into a kind of hall that split off into even more rooms. It was a maze, a maze of black rooms that were all filled with the silence of death. Every step, every rattle of his sword in its sheath, every breath, it echoed. When Kvar's victims screamed, God it must have echoed in this maze of black for days. His own cry of his wife's name came back to him, and in his fevered mind his own echo sounded lost and alone. "Anna!"

He closed his eyes, listened, and underneath the echoes he heard something. A soft whisper of a heartbeat. She was near, she had to be. He cried out again, hoping, praying that she would respond, even as he swept through room after room. At last the sound that was so far off became louder. A groan, he heard a groan from the door to his right.

"Anna!"

Nothing, just an animal sound of pain. He tried for the handle, it was locked, out of all the rooms so far it was the only one locked. The steel screeched under the raw force of his kick, then slammed open. Kratos staggered through the door, and then with a gasp of pain ran to her. Anna lay on her back, her eyes closed, her face, her body pale. Blood pooled around her chest, her throat, she moaned, but did not open her eyes, even as he ran to her and knelt down besides her. His hands tingled as he called on his mana, the light sheathing them intensified, a silver blue light pulsated around them. He stood, lifted a hand to the ceiling, and a miniature star burst into being in his upraised hand. Raw mana poured from that star, drifted down from the star with frustrating slowness, and wrapped a cocoon of healing around the woman he loved. Slowly the horrid expanse of ripped up skin mended, the small gash in her throat sealed shut, she lay perfectly still, and it was only the rise and fall of her chest that told him she was alive. He trembled, knelt, and took her in his arms. He wasn't even aware he was talking to her, he didn't even know what words passed through his lips, all he saw was her pale face, and how the color was slowly returning to her. He held her close, and to the sound of his voice she awoke. With a hand that twitched she put a finger to his lips, it was only then he realized that he had been talking.

"You... you came..." Her voice was little more then a breath. "You.. came for us..."

"Of course." He kissed her, she trembled, her eyes were filled with pain.

"Lloyd... he has... Lloyd..."  
"We'll deal with that in a second." More healing power snapped between his hands, he gently placed his hand on her chest. The power pierced her heart, mingled with her blood, and spread through her. She shuddered as his very essence, his personal mana, mixed within her flesh and blood. Her eyes, that had been horribly glazed focused, the pain lines that marred her face eased, he took her pain, took her exhaustion, he shouldered it as his own. As she grew stronger he could feel himself weakening.

"Kratos! Stop!" Her hands dug into his arm.

He looked up, it was his eyes that weren't totally focused, his mind that felt the ravages of hunger and poison. He licked his lips, tried to think around the pain that festered in him.

"My.. my packs... tablets..."

He felt her work off the small pack that was slung over his shoulder, heard her fumble for a bit. He closed his eyes, started to slump forward. Anna gently lay him down, his head rested in her lap. Something small, bitter, was placed on his tongue, then water filled his mouth. He swallowed, shuddered, and lay still while the tablets neutralized the poison and countered the fatigue. He grimaced, shivered as the tablets did thier work, all the while Anna stroked his head, smoothed his hair with trembling hands. After a few minutes Kratos opened his eyes, Anna was looking down at him, her hands lightly caressed his face. He managed to smile at her, and some of the concern left her, some but not all. With a grunt the Seraphim forced himself to stand, he didn't have time to waste and wait for the medicine to help him farther.

"Where is Kvar?"

"I don't know, all he said was that he was on the other side of the ranch, that's all he ever let slip."

"That is more then we had." He froze.

Anna then heard what had made him stop, there were people outside. The guards, they must have left for a little bit then had come back. Kratos' hand went for his sword, much to his surprise Anna knelt on the bloody floor and picked up a dagger. He wanted to protest, to order her to stay back. The guards were too close now, any rebuke on his part and they would have heard him. Kratos watched as Anna slinked to the door, stood pressed against the wall, less then three steps away from the opening. The seraphim mentally cursed, drew his blade, then took the other side.

"What the Hell?" They had noticed the door, and they entered the torture chamber. "Damn, go, send for back up..."

The man who was supposed to send for back up turned, he managed to cry out a warning before Anna's clumsy thrust made him stagger back. With a stupid expression on his face he reached out, touched the hilt of the weapon. Kratos' thrust was more professional. The Desian stiffened up as the sword pierced his heart, a sharp kick on Kratos' part sent the dead half elf off of the blade. The remaining Desian then fell to his knees, begging to be spared. He managed to complete a sentence before he was silenced permanently. Anna slipped out of the room to see if there were any other Desian's, Kratos considered the man with a knife stuck in his belly. He knelt, wrenched the weapon out of the corpse, then thoughtfully cleaned it off on the Desian's tunic. When he joined Anna he handed her the knife, she took it with a sick smile.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Orbs of light trailed after them, they rounded a corner into the waiting patrols' grasp. Blade against blade, he crossed swords with those who wielded them, fought the three warriors all at the same time, all the while he was aware that a whipper was trying to slip behind him to get his attack in. The whipper was having a problem though, Kratos' flank was covered by what he probably thought as a deranged escapee. Anna shrieked, slashed with her knife, the Desian backed up. At any other ranch the guard would have fled, but he feared his master more then any human, no mater how crazy it was. That, he learned, was a mistake. He brought his arm up so he could bring the full force of his whip into play, Anna charged forward, delivered a slashed, then retreated out of the range of the swing. The Desian sank to his knees, clutched his stomach and the deep gash that now ran from one side to another. The floating macht-tins rounded the corner, their long noses glowed an all too familiar red... She yelled out a warning in Angelic, grabbed her husband, and together they leapt to the side. The swordsman that had been giving Kratos such a hard time fell to the metal floor, holey, that was the only word for them, they were holey.

"Stay here!" He snarled, turning on the macht-tins with a grim look on his face. He had ordered her to "stay" several other times as well. For once she listened, she could not attack these steel monstrosities, she did not have the strength to destroy them. She stood back, kept an eye out for more of the steel match-tins, for more Desians. None came, and she took a moment to lean against the wall and catch her breath. Whatever Kratos had done for her was the only thing that let her keep pace with him. It also had some very strange effects on her. She had noticed it the second they left the room, no even before then, the second she had handed him back his packs. It was strange, because as he wrapped his hand around the strap and swung it over his shoulder she had felt a strange tingling on her own shoulder, a phantom pressure on her own hand. Even now, as he brought his blade around to cut through one of those match-tins she tensed, and the strike that she never could have seen coming descended a second later. It had to be an after effect of whatever Kratos had done to her, and she expected it to dim as time went on, yet it only seemed to become stronger. She couldn't let it slow her down, she'd ask him about it when she had time to ask. Kratos side stepped one of the shots, ducked as pieces of the match-tin behind him flew over his head, then thrust at the last match-tin. It sank to the floor, sparks hissing from it's wound. He was done, Anna went to one of the last rooms in the wing, turned the handle, and pushed open the door. He cursed, ran up to her, then froze as he took in what could have been mistaken as an apartment from Meltokio.

In that room there were no guards, no monsters, no tortured humans, only a man. His hair was grey with just a few highlights of brown, his eyes were the color of steel. Clad in the fine military uniform favored by those few who shared his rank, he seemed ignorant of the blood that stained the front of his tunic. The old man smiled at them, his manner as if two old friends had barged in on him a little early. The man's smile was little more then a gash on his face, a red slit on his pale features. He sat across from them, a small tray by his side, so much like the trays that he held his tools. On that tray though was a cup, a small thing that couldn't have held much. He lifted a cup at them in false toast, and took a sip. Anna froze, she knew him. He chuckled, took another sip, then put a finger to his lips. He was ordering them to be quiet. He pointed to the door behind him, and mimed sleeping. Someone was in the back room and they were sleeping.

"Kvar, where's our Son?" Anna hissed, she lifted the dagger and he smiled at her.

"Hush, he's in the back sleeping. Don't wake him, he's had such dreadful nightmares of late, he really should enjoy what little peaceful sleep he is getting."

"So, you are Kvar..." Kratos' voice was little more then a rumble, Kvar looked over Anna's shoulder and nodded.

"My Lord, it is an honor to meet you, I apologize to you because I won't genuflect. It takes a while for us old people to get up and down all the time, and time is of the essence. Yes your son is in the back room, and no I haven't told Lord Yggdrasil about your past time. If I did then you would in all probability kill me, and I have a strong desire to live."

"Really? What you've done so far has just noticeably shortened your life span." Kratos nudged his way past Anna, his blood smeared sword still rested in his hands.

"Please, don't stand in the door way, come in. I'd offer you the hospitality of my humble quarters but you both seem in a bit of a rush, as am I, as am I!" When Kvar's two guests came in he put the cup down, leaned forward and regarded them both. "You are so droll my Lord, it is a shame we must meet under such ill circumstance. This young woman who you have taken as your own was my test subject. I so wanted to complete the experiment, but her dalliance in the realms of physical pleasure has tainted her for me. She has no use now that she has born child, I had hoped she was still compatible for my research, but now she is not. So take her, she's little more then trash to me anyways." Kratos snarled, his hand went to his blade, Kvar only laughed. "I would not do that, after all it you know how little effort it takes to toss a fire spell at a door, and that door is wood... I think you can imagine what would happen if I did that."

Kratos stiffened up, the Desian smiled, and strangely there was relief on his face.

"Go on, take him, and get out. Your pet is safe from me, I have no need of her any longer. Here's the key." Kvar pulled a card out from his vest, lay it on the table, and watched as they stared at him. "The slate is clean my Lord, there are no more traps, and I consider what time I've spent with your charming family to be equal to whatever damages you have caused in your haste. My only wish is that I had a longer time with your family, in particular with your son, having no children of my own you understand... Ahh well such issues are neither here nor now, take the card, take your boy back, and leave. What damage I have wrecked on your wench was only her punishment for running away from me. What harm I have caused her, and that which you have obviously healed, is enough."

As if in a dream Anna walked across the room, went to the Desian, and picked up the card. She was aware fo Kratos, was aware that he followed her, took the card from her hand then went to the room that Kvar indicated. She only stared at the old man, and he looked at her with a smile on his face.

"Keep your boy in good health Mrs. Aurion, and know I too will keep an eye on his welfare."

"You will not." Anna whispered, and as if possessed her hand thrust forward. The scorn in his eyes faded, he grunted as the dagger entered his side. Then he looked up at her with a pained expression. "You will leave my family alone beast." With a snarl she wrenched the dagger from Kvar's side, the Desian gasped, and looked at her with hate... and satisfaction in his eyes.

"Anna, that is enough, I've found Lloyd, it's time to go home..."

Anna did not respond to Kratos, only looked down at the Desian with hate in her eyes.

"Anna! Enough! We are leaving! Lloyd is sick, he needs to get to a doctor!"

That brought Anna back, she dropped the dagger, turned from Kvar and went to her husband. Kratos looked at her, seemed to measure her, then handed Lloyd to her. He was terribly limp. Their little boys face was pale, his skin like ice. Anna left the room, and for a moment Kratos was alone with Kvar. He took in the wound that his wife had inflicted on the Desian. It was fatal, the man would die a slow death, that was enough. It was time to go home... and find what little peace they could.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

They had thought that at their son's awakening they would find a piece of themselves, they would become whole again. His eyes once so filled with love were empty, and it was not the emptiness of delusion or sickness that he gazed at them with. He did not remember them, had no fond memories, could not even say their names. Kratos had gambled, used his angelic mana to teleport them to Luin, had taken them to Syt's inn. Their son cringed at their touch, ran from them the second he was put down, and tried to hide from them. Even the doctor Syt had abducted, not knowing the whole of it, could see there was something horribly wrong. He treated, diagnosed their son, and went beyond that. He was gentle, and managed to do something that the Aurion's could do. He managed to get Lloyd to talk. He came to them after setting the boy to sleep, his eyes were shadowed. The stress of his abduction, the searing headache that Syt had given him via a rock to the head, all of those were forgotten as he stepped out of his patients room and approached the worried parents.

"The three of you sit, I have some questions to ask, and they wont be kindly in the least." The three friends complied, looked to the man with equally hopeless expressions. "I'm going to start out with the stupid question, is he always like this, so withdrawn?"

"No, normally he's not..." Anna's voice shattered, tears were in her eyes. "Normally... we have to hold him back... He's so affectionate..."

"I expected as much, he doesn't think you're his parents. Martel strike me blind if I'm wrong, but you are his blood parents, any fool can see that." The man sighed, leaned against the wall. He wore white robes, only the green trim around the sleeves told the world that he was no priest of Martel. He lifted a hand, stroked at the scraggly patch that served as his beard, then adjusted the spectacles that made his eyes seem sur-real. "He thinks some man named Kvar is his father, and he's obsessive about it. All he talked about is how he wants to go back to this Kvar person. I told him to tell you about it, and his response scared me... He said you'd hurt him, no you'd kill him, then he told me how you would kill him. He was, very descriptive..." The doctor swallowed. "Inn-keeper fetch me a glass of your strongest, I'm going to need it."  
"What do you mean, descriptive?" Kratos managed, his voice failed him a time or two, he wanted to break so bad. His world was falling apart into bloody tatters.

"He knew more about human anatomy then I care to think about. He didn't know the words or course, but he explained it in such a way that I know he's seen someone die like... like how he expects to." Something in Kratos' eyes made him shiver, then turn to the Seraphim and elaborate. "He expects you to kill him, to torture him to death, and frankly I'm not going to go into more detail." Syt came back, handed the doctor a glass filled with bear. The scrawny man took the glass, and downed it all in two quick swallows. He wiped the foam from his face, and looked back to the door. "Don't leave him alone for any length of time, he's mentally unstable. I'd go far enough to say he's sadistic even, I've never seen it in a child his age, not so young... They normally grow into it..." The doctor shook himself. "There was a mouse in his room, and I use the past tense quite deliberately. I told him to stop... He wouldn't..."

"What are you saying?" Anna whispered.

"Keep an eye on him, but be careful, he's not quite all right in his mind. He killed an animal with his bare hands right in front of me and thought what he was doing was right." The doctor shivered, looked mournfully into his empty glass. "I have some medicines to counter his sickness in my office, some sedatives to keep him calm, and all I can tell you is that I pray to Martel that whatever is wrong with him is due to his current illness. If you need to talk to me again forgo whapping me upside the head with a rock and dragging me here, I do have an office, and reasonable hours. And if it needs to be discreet, then send me a note, I'll come by after my hours to check up on him. I imagine one of you men are going to escort me to my office, whichever one it is I'll give instructions on how to dose the boy and prep the tea you will be giving him."

"Anna, Syt, go with him." Kratos commanded, his eyes were locked on the door. "I will stay with Lloyd while you are gone."

"If he's thinkin' that you're gunna kill him then perhaps I should..."

"No, he is my son, I will stay with him." Kratos stood, went for the door, he hesitated his hand wrapped around the handle. Then gathering his courage he opened the door and slipped inside.

"I'm sorry Mam, Sir, if there was anything I could do for you I'd do it..."

"Aye, that's why I whapped you upside the head and dragged you here, your that type o shrink that'd do all he could, no matter what..."

"I'll remember that next time you are ill Syt."

"Enough, lets go." Anna stood, then lead by Syt she left the inn, and followed the doctor through Luin.

Xxx xxx xxx

Lloyd whimpered in his sleep, not exactly in a nightmare, but starting to descend into one. There was no hesitance on his part, the Seraphim gently shook his son's sholder and Lloyd awoke. He looked at him, not recognizing, then the hate came, the distrust. It took every bit of his will not to weep at the sight of Lloyd's hatred.

"Go back to bed Lloyd..."

His boy only glared at him.

"You can hate me for the rest of your life Lloyd, I wont abandon you, no matter what."

No response, Lloyd continued to glare at him.

"If you keep doing that..." Kratos' voice broke a bit. "Your face is going to freeze like that..."

"Liar!"

"Maybe." Kratos swallowed hard. "I do not know for sure if it is the truth or not. My own parent was found of saying that to me though, so I assume it is the truth."

"Leave me 'lone!" Lloyd rolled over, so that he was facing the wall.

"No. I said I would not abandon you, I mean it." Kratos shifted in the chair he sat on. "You will just have to deal with me." He felt tears roll down his face, Lloyd winced as the water fell on him, then turned to see his father crying. No it wasn't his father, it was a stranger that he cared nothing for.

"Why are you crying?" Lloyd huffed, the tears were keeping him up, he was sleepy and he couldn't sleep with this man crying.

"Because I am hurt that you are hurt, and I could not spare you pain."

"I just have a cold!" Lloyd snarled, he rolled over, buried himself under the blankets. He flopped around a bit, and Kratos reached down to untangle his boy from the mess he was making. Under his touch Lloyd stiffened, Kratos' keen sense of touch allowed him to feel Lloyd's heart beat pick up, even through the layer of blankets. Lloyd was scared of him, terrorfied, and his head poked out from the blankets when Kratos' hands gently with drew. He looked confused, baffled that Kratos was not hurting him.

"Is something wrong?" Kratos managed, his voice a ruin, half strangled by his tears.

"Nothin'." Lloyd grumbled.

"Then try to sleep, your Mother will put me to task if you stay up all night."

"I don't have a Mother!" Lloyd flared. "You took me away from Daddy!"

"Lloyd..." Kratos trembled, reached out with a hand and cupped his son's face with one hand.  
"Do...Don't touch me!" It was a shriek, Kratos snatched his hand back as if it had been burned. "Do... Don't touch me, don't look at me! Leave me alone!" Lloyd shivered, curled up in a ball and held himself. "C...Cold..." His teeth chattered. Kratos un fastened his cloak, then draped it over the trembling child. Lloyd whimpered, tried to kick off the cloak and blankets, when he succeeded Kratos merely picked them off the floor and covered his boy back up. "Stop it, go away!"

"No, I wont do that, stop fussing." Kratos croaked past the lump in his throat. "You will warm up faster if you stay under the blankets."

Grudgingly Lloyd listened, he settled down and snuggled with the blankets and cloak, and soon he wasn't so cold anymore.

"Go 'way!"

"Which way?" Kratos managed, something far to tentative to be called a smile touching his lips.

Lloyd snorted, then almost screamed as the Seraphim left the chair and sat on the edge of his bed. He shook, trembled, then froze. Kratos' gloved hand wove through his hair, so slow and tenderly. Lloyd sighed, despite himself relaxed just a bit.

"Go 'way..." It was a mutter, his eyes felt all heavy.

"We went over this, go to sleep Son, you can not out stubborn both me and nature at the same time."

"I'm not sleepy..."

"Hmm," Kratos' hands were shaking, the man was shaking, Lloyd could feel it. "So you say, yet you yawn as you say it."

"Not... Sleepy..."

The hand only continued to stroke his hair, long after he scumbled to sleep.


	33. Medicine

FairyV: Well your wish is granted, I can only write so much doom and gloom before I can't take it anymore.

MoonCanon: Intense... I like that.

Lady Serefina: Working on it. I like your title, if I use it I'll give you credit for it in the chapter.

Medicine

Chapter 33

It was a living nightmare, a nightmare that neither of them had been prepared for. There was no way to prepare for it, no way to protect themselves against it. It just was, and it was ripping them apart. She cried more then he did, he did not think of this with any pride, did not delude himself into thinking he was the stronger one. He wasn't, he was just incapable of producing as many tears as she was. Syt and Issia took turns watching Lloyd, watching them, and if they didn't have them... Kratos could not even imagine what it would have been like. Anna lay by Issia, her head resting on the older woman's lap, her slender form sprawled out on the bed. She was asleep, and thank Origin that she had fallen asleep after this newest fit of tears. She could get away for little bits of time in the dark behind her eyes, she could let go of the world, she could draw on her strength in the stillness of sleep, be ready to face down another day. He had no such solace, and perhaps it was now that Syt saw past the power that his friend welded and saw the limitations that the Seraphim lived by.

"Goddess, I can't imagine what it's like, all I can see is it's rippin' you two apart." Syt whispered into his cup, not beer Kratos noted, but a tea of some type. "Na it's rippin' you three apart, yon Lloyd's sufferin' too."

"More then both of us I imagine." Kratos managed, Noishe lay his head in the Seraphim's lap. Absently Kratos scritched at Noishe's head, his eyes locked on the air before him.

"Aye, he's sufferin' the same as you all are, he doesn't know nothin'... How you got him off of that Kvar monster I don't know, but it was a good thing..."

"Talking mainly, whatever Kvar did to him wasn't very strong. He, thank the gods, doesn't see me as a monster anymore... But he doesn't remember what I am."

"Aye, he remembers Ruian, just give it time."

"How much? Honestly Syt, how much do we have?" Kratos stood, Noishe whined shook his head, Issia gave him a scolding look. Kratos flushed, whirled away from all of them to face the wall and lean on it.

"As much as you need, you know we'd never turn you out."

"In three days your children will be returning, how will you explain to them that Lloyd doesn't recall them? Your regulars are already asking questions..." Kratos growled, then lifted his head up to look out the window. "It's time for his medicine and another dose of mana, Gods how I wish I could just rip down the walls Kvar put in him, to just have him back as he was in a second..."

"You wont do that, you explained it to Anna, and to us why you can't, so don't think on it, just do what needs to be done."  
"If it was your child and I said that..."

"I'd be mighty pissed Ruian, but I'd be goin' in now to give my boy both his medicines."

To that Kratos could think of no answer.

xxx xxx xxx xxx

Lloyd looked at him, at the cup, and scowled. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and turned away from Kratos. Kratos sighed, set the cup on the small table and sat on the edge of the bed. Lloyd's eyes narrowed when Kratos set the cup aside, he knew this trick. Kratos was going to talk him into taking the medicine. Well he had an answer for that, the second the old man opened his mouth he hopped to his feet and smacked the human with a pillow. Before he could try a second hit in a gloved hand plucked the weapon out of his grasp.

"What have I told you about hitting people?" Kratos growled, Lloyd sat down muttering a word Kvar had taught him. "What did you just say young man?"

"Nothin'!" Lloyd knew that angry voice, and he knew very well not to say anything nasty after it came out.

"Good, that's a little better, I never want to hear you say that word ever again!"

"Yes Kratos..." The man winced again, as if Lloyd had said something bad, but he didn't get angry. He looked sad, but then before Lloyd could ask him if he had a boo-boo Kratos' hand went for the cup. "Ekk, no no no!" Lloyd tried to run, but was firmly snagged by the end of his pants and forcefully sat down on Kratos' lap. "No, no, no, no!" The cries ended in a gurgle, and a swallow, as the tea was forced down his throat. "Ick..." Lloyd's tongue rolled out.

Kratos refilled the cup with water, and Lloyd tried to drown out the taste. He took two more glasses of water, and on the third he didn't drink it but played with it. Of course Lloyd dumped it all over himself, it was a unwritten rule that anything he played with he'd dirty himself with. Kratos was well prepared for this and had come in armed appropriately. Dangling from his belt, in steed of a knife, was a towel. It pressed against his side, and even through his tunic the Seraphim knew it was the type of material that made one itch. He wormed it out, then gently toweled Lloyd off. His son giggled, tried to bolt again, but only fell over on his side giggling.

"St..Stop that... it tickles!"

Kratos smiled slightly, then he did stop. Gasping Lloyd rolled over, and almost fell out of the bed. The seraphim caught his charge, and gently reeled him back up.

"No tea, no tea, I've been good!"

"Yes you have been good." Kratos' voice was thick with pain. "It's time for me to make your head feel a little funny again."

"Awww..."  
"Do you want me to not do it?" Kratos managed, he always asked, he would not force this on Lloyd if it was painful in any way.

"No," Lloyd added after a long pause. "I don' mind."

"Good," Kratos smiled his hand ran through Lloyd's hair, it was beginning to glow a silver blue.

"Daddy..."

He lost his grasp on the power, actually stopped breathing. Lloyd snuggled into his vest, closed his eyes and was falling asleep. He never had fallen asleep while Kratos had gently nudged his mind, he always stayed awake and glared at him suspiciously, then he would say he felt dizzy the second the Seraphim's hand's withdrew. He must have been tired, or just a little sick, to start falling asleep while they did this.

"When I wake can we go fishin'?"

"I'll see what we can do, you're still sick after all."

"Not fair..."

"I'll talk to your Mother when you go to bed." It was a test, a calculated test. Lloyd's response would reveal if these treatments were even working. He nudged Lloyd a little, his boy's eyes turned on him a bit grouchily.

"Momma won' let me, said I was too sick... I wanna fish... boring inside..."

"I'll see what I can do." Kratos' voice trembled. There were tears in his eyes, and they weren't bitter ones.

"Noshy, can he come too?"

"Yes, Noishe can come too."

"Mmmm."

Lloyd was going still his breathing slowed, and he drowsed off in his father's lap. It took a long moment for the ancient Seraphim to calm down, to be able to concentrate. The glow around his hand returned, sparklets snapped off his fingers, a sign of his excitement. He canceled the power, waited until he was totally calm until drawing on it again. He did this several times, and when it at last appeared to be more subdued he ran his hand through Lloyd's hair. He could see the black walls in his son's mind, could see where Kvar had blocked off memories, had diverted the flow of his son's pleasures until the at last grew tainted and pooled into sadism. Kratos had been primarily working on undoing the emotional alteration Kvar had forced on Lloyd, had gently set the pleasures, the keys for pleasure, back where they belonged. He had numbed, and erased, the Desian's mark from his son's soul. Only until his last night had he begun working on the memories, the towering black walls of forgetfulness. He was very surprised to see that what little he had done last night had broken down a few of those walls. The shear complexity of countering forgetfulness, of not inserting false memories, of checking the memories that would bubble underneath the darkness to see if they were real... Strange as it seemed it was as if someone else had continued what he was doing even when he wasn't their. He would not question his good fortune, only make use of it. He withdrew from Lloyd's mind with a shudder, his son still clung to him, even in sleep he wasn't letting go. An strange thought came to him as he looked down at his son, who even in his sleep managed to look both peaceful but stubborn.

Could Lloyd somehow be undoing what Kvar had wrought all on his own?

xxx xxx xxx xxx

"You seem to be in better spirits." Anna noted when he came back to what served as their bedroom. It was several hours later, and she had spent those hours napping. The redness around her eyes was fading just a bit, as were the rings. They were almost gone. "You have good news, I know that look..."

"I... One can hope it's good." Kratos sighed, rolled his shoulders, then joined her at the bed. He did not lay down, merely sat and considered everything that he had seen. "I think he is remembering a little bit, but it's spotty in places. I'm trying to basically link together what bits and pieces he has brought forth himself."

"That he... Kratos what are you talking about?"

"He... I do not know how but he is slowly weakening the curse Kvar placed on him. Remind me to never butt heads with him on something important, I do not know who would win at this point."

Anna laughed, the first happy sound she had made in a long long while.

"I told you he was a fighter, just like his Father."

"He wants to go fishing for some reason..."

"Absolutely not, he's still as pale as a sheet, and he gets those horrid chills! How can you even suggest..."

"He called me Daddy. Anna, he called you Mommy. He was half asleep, but I think he's coming back to us. Doesn't that warrant a little celebration of sorts?"

"He... He knows who we are!"

"He is remembering, and would it not be so bad a thing if we gave him some little reward. He is doing something I would never expect or ask of him to do on his own. I think that it warrants a treat..."

"You manipulative bastard, you're just trying to pin me in a corner so you can go fishing..." She hit him with a pillow.  
"I?" Kratos looked innocent, brushing off the hit. "Manipulative, me? Anna, I do not even like fish. I can not fish despite being raised as a fisherman. I was so bad my family made me stop fishing and all I ever did was fix nets for the neighbors. It is something Lloyd wants, and he unwittingly has me pinned against the wall with just one word."

"If he ever figures out how to use that word a little better he's going to be spoiled rotten... Seriously though, we'll talk about it later."

"Fine." Kratos sighed. Anna squeaked as he lay on across her legs, tried to drive him off with the pillow. No such luck, he was tired and was not moving. As if sensing his genuine wariness she stopped hitting him with the pillow, and slid it under his head. "I think," He sighed as he felt her sit up, before he could protest her hands kneaded his shoulders. "Mmm, never mind... Whatever you said was correct, I completely agree."

"You're just lazy."

"Yes, I guess I am..." Kratos gasped as her hands found the worst ache in his shoulders and worked it out. "When did you learn to do this?"

"When I was growing up I'd get aches and pains all the time. You learn how to deal with any type of cramp, bruise, or stress knot, after a while."

"I do not think I will move for about a year now..."

"Oh no, when my legs fall asleep you're getting up, that or you're going on the floor Mr. Aurion."

"How about you just scoot over and I join you..."

"Oh fine, you are so lazy." She mock grumbled, he joined her, and drowsed under Anna's hands while she completed the massage. He grumbled a bit when she stopped, but fell silent when he realized why she had ceased. She had fallen asleep, one arm gently draped over him, the other pillowed her head. For a few hours he just lay by his wife, listened to her quiet breath. Sleep did not come to him, but the hope that his son would soon be well was enough. He did not move until Syt knocked on the door. It was time to go to Lloyd, he was either up, or it was time to give him some more medicine. Well, well this might turn to his advantage. With a smile Kratos slipped out of bed, he quietly fumbled on his tunic, and went to the door. He stepped out of the room, and quietly closed the door behind him.

"Is something wrong with Lloyd?"

"Nah, just antsy that's all. Figured you wanna see him. He seems to be doin' a bit better an' all, Martel blast me away if he didn' call me "Unca Syt" like he did in Izoold!"

"Kvar's spell was not as powerful as I feared, but still your confirmation of that good news is welcome, thank you."

"Aye, now here's the bad news. Seems as if the Mrs. snatched the kitchen for the evening..."  
"Hmm how would you feel if we went on a small trip, just an outing with Lloyd and me to catch some dinner?"

"Huntin'?"

"I was thinking more on the lines of fishing, do you know any secluded areas that have some fish in them."

"Aye, more then a few!" Syt grinned. "You think Lloyd's well enough..."

"If he dresses warmly and doesn't exert himself then everything should be fine."

"Anna's gunna kill you."

"I will talk her around, she is reasonable, and she wont be able to do anything about it since the deed will be done."

"Aye your skin on the wall if you don't talk fast enough."

"I did not need to hear that..."

"Aye sure you didn't sure. I'll raid the kitchen so if we don't get lucky we can just chuck somethin' together for a bite before we get back."

"Good thinking, I will leave Anna a note, and prepare Lloyd and Noishe for the trip."


	34. stories II

A/N: More Tales mythology attempts, but I think the title says all. The name of the story is also (kind of) explained in this chapter.

Stories2

Syt laughed at him, he laughed long and hard, and much to his chagrin Lloyd also laughed. Hands that were masterful with any blade could not find a decent grip on the pole. The line, it tangled behind his back, tangled when his guard was down, and he spent half his time unwinding the impossible knots. As for bait, Kratos was using corn. He absolutely refused to touch the worms. Lloyd took one look at the worms and he too put a piece of corn on his hook. Syt was nice enough to not tease Lloyd about it. Kratos though might have just as well painted a target on himself. Kratos grumbled at the fish; who were proving to be a little too intelligent, and kept refusing his bait. Lloyd was having only a little more luck then his father. The one time he managed to get a bite he lost the pole, it flew from his hands, and skittered across the bank. Lloyd then said a word that Kvar must have taught him and chassed after the pole. He tripped, fell into the slush covered ground, and Kratos picked Lloyd up and held his son close until Lloyd said he was warm again. For the rest of the outing Lloyd sat by his father, watching the line with fierce concentration, as if he was going to will a fish to take his father's bait. And perhaps it worked, for Kratos did get a bite near the end of their little outing. Lloyd hopped up, tried to help his father pull it in, and yet another pole was lost…

"Wow." Lloyd gasped as the pole drifted out into the miniature lake.

"Indeed."

"Martel blast me away!" Syt pointed to a ripple, and for one second a blue green tail broke the surface of the water. "It's huge!" He then hoped up and down in joy. "It's the big one, the monster of the lake, an' I found him I did!"

"_You_ found him?" Kratos protested.

"Aye, that I did! An' now I know where he is I'll be comin' here every evenin' don't you doubt!"

"Issia's going to kill me." Kratos noted to his son, Syt just continued to stare at the water with longing.

"Corn… need to be bringing some corn next time." The chant almost sounded religious.

"I thought corn was the inferior bait among fisherman."

"It ain't now!"

"Really?" Kratos raised an eyebrow and swallowed the rest of his sarcastic response. Lloyd was using a small hand to tug on his father's fur coat. The seraphim looked down at his child, all he could really see around the fur trimmed hood was those dark black brown eyes. "Hmm, what is wrong Lloyd?"

"Tummy rumbling." As if to agree Lloyd's stomach made a rather loud noise to indicate it was empty.

"Aye, sorry lad, we don't got any fish form the pond so we wont be eaten fish tonight. But we do have some mighty fine bread and all."

"Bread, yum!"

"That's the spirit lad!" Syt ruffled Lloyd's hair, or rather ruffled the boy's hood. "Aye, so which one of us be cookin'?"

"Making a sandwich does not qualify as cooking."

"Good, then I'll be cookin' you go make them sandwiches then, since it's not cookin' and all."

"You called me sly?"

"Aye I did, you are, ol' Syt's just slyer."

Lloyd laughed at his father's expression. Kratos was both blushing and smiling, he knew he had been had, but somehow it didn't bother him as much as it should. He shielded his face with a hand, growled under his breath, then went through their packs to find what they needed to eat. Lloyd waddled after him, deciding to help as much as he could. Kratos sat in the slush, Lloyd sat in his lap, moving pieces of meat and cheese while Kratos handled a knife and spread the spicy mustard and the like on each slab each slice of bread. While he took a moment to drag the food packs over to him, to put away the knife, a piece of bread went missing. He did a quick count of the slices, than whipped around to glare at Noishe. The protozoan looked innocent enough. There were no mustard smears on his snout. Baffled Kratos looked to Lloyd, his boy only smiled, and there wasn't a crumb, a smear, on his face.

"Huh,"

He wondered, mulled on it, then pulled out another piece of bread and retrieved the knife and mustard. Bored Lloyd squirmed in his lap, and the Seraphim relented and let his boy leave him for a bit. Lloyd called out to Noishe, _Noshy_ responded to the call with a bark. They frolicked in the soon to be gone snow, and the Seraphim was so immersed in his little mystery he missed it when Lloyd pulled a piece of bread out from his pocket and gave it to the protozoan. Sandwiches done Kratos whistled, Nosihe picked Lloyd up by the scruff of his coat, and carried the still energetic boy back to his father. Syt stopped watching the water, muttering about corn, and joined them. They ate, Noishe lingered by Lloyd, and more then happily ate the crusts that the boy picked off of his bread. After their meal they all decided to call it an afternoon, and head back to the inn.

The reception was not pretty, well that's how the saying went anyways. He disagreed with who ever made that statement, after all Anna was a beautiful woman. It would have been more accurate to say the reception was not pleasant. Issia saw them enter the small common room, she sat behind a counter talking to one of the customers. The glare she shot them made both men, and protozoan, freeze in the door way. It was so venomous that the customer looked over his sholder to see what had walked in.

"Erm… I'll leave you alone with 'em Iss."

"No need Sir. Gentleman, Anna is waiting for you upstairs. She wants to have a very long chat with both of you."

"Aye, I be seein' my life flash before my eyes." Syt whispered as they exited the common room and went up the stairs. "Could we just, I dunno sit tight so I can get through the really good times before Anna kills us."

Noishe whined, as if to say. _Could I do that too_?

"Do not be worried Syt, Anna would not literally kill us."

"Aye, but I be likin' being a man! Yon Anna might change that for me."

"I will protect you, the worst she will do is yell at us Syt, and I still think I can talk her out of her mood."

"You're crazy."

"Who was singing about corn and fish earlier?"

"I was not!"

They made it up to the top of the stairs. It was the fifth door down to Anna's room.

"Were too,"

"Was not!"

"Were-"

"Kratos, Syt, come in here right now!"

They entered the room. Kratos felt his heart twist inside of him. Anna was dressed for a war against man kind, or rather men kind. Her red dress gleamed in the candle light, and what little of the sun's light that made it through the window set the beads of her dress to flicker. Anna had taken several pains to curl her normally straight hair; it slid down her shoulders in waves of cinnamon with fire highlights. Syt physically stopped breathing, just stared at Anna in awe. He'd probably never seen a woman dressed like this in his life. All Kratos knew was that the fisher folk were not wealthy, and what colors he had seen on women in his years visit to Izoold were gowns of brown or grey. All of the garments for all genders were made out of dyed wool. The only other color that was ever seen was white, and white was only for weddings and the religious ceremonies of Martel. The color suited Anna, both her current mood and overall temperament. She looked at them from where she sat on the corner of the bed, then saw Lloyd on Noishe's back and she softened just a little bit.  
"Noishe, you aren't in trouble. Please take Lloyd to his room and keep him company for a bit."

Noishe barked, wagged his tail, and if he could have talked he probably would have gloated on his way out. His self satisfied yips were enough, Noishe really didn't need to talk for Kratos to put it all together. A certain four legged someone, the seraphim decided, needed a bath. It would be fitting, after all Noishe hated baths. Maybe Syt would help him out, the fisherman's glare at the protozoan told Kratos that the man would be more then happy to help when the time came.

"There are chairs, both of you, sit."

Meekly the men did as ordered.

"Where were you?" Her tone was sweet, deceptively so, and neither man was stupid enough to miss the fires that burned in her eyes.

"Ahh…" Syt looked to Kratos. "You explain; you're the smarter of us."

"No, slyness before wisdom I insist."

Painted finger nails tapped against the small night stand. Anna glared at both men, and the tapping went a little faster.

"Damn it Kratos, why me? Aye Mrs. Anna we went fishing an' well Martel strike me blind if we didn't lose track of the time…"

"Kratos… Are you actually going to try to back him up?" Anna's gaze told him that he better damned well not back Syt up.

"No, I made a promise to Lloyd, I kept it, that is all."

"Good going Kratos!" Syt hissed out of the corner of his mouth.

"I'm right here you know." Anna snapped, Syt flinched at the anger in her voice. "And I remember what you said, and I said no."

"No, what you said was that we would talk about it. You were asleep when the issue came up, so I dealt with it myself."

Anna's eyes narrowed into slits. It might have been his imagination but for a second he could have sworn they turned red. Kratos had gambled, he knew how much Anna hated being corrected. Though his face and manner were calm he could feel moisture under his gloves.

"You could have woken me up."

"You haven't been sleeping well these last few days." Kratos countered. "You needed your sleep more then we needed that talk."

"That." She hissed. "Is what you think."

"Life flashin' before your eyes now Ruian?"

"Syt, shut up!"

"Issia gave me some rather direct instructions on how to handle you Mr. Syt. I think I'll give you her little talk for her as we agreed, then myself and Kratos will have a nice chat in private. Where I can be very very direct."

Kratos swallowed, and he'd be damned if parts of his life weren't flashing before his eyes. Syt then proceeded to get his verbal lashing. Anna never once raised her voice, as a matter of fact half of the talk was delivered at a whisper. Syt flinched, cringed, writhed, and looked absolutely miserable through it all. When Anna let him go he slinked out of the room, and if he had a tail it would have been between his legs. Then she turned on him, anger and hurt still boiling in her eyes.

"Anna, I made a promise to Lloyd, I could not break it."

"I know that." She hissed. "I am still very angry though, let's pursue why I'm angry, then move on from there shall we?"

Xxx xxx xxx

Lloyd scampered around the room totally oblivious to the air of embarrassment his sire and god-  
father were radiating. Anna had banished them from the rooms of their spouses for a week as punishment. No other rooms available they were now both with Lloyd for the night. Lloyd was so excited to have them with him he was not going to sleep at his normal time, yet another wonderful thing that Anna was going to blame on them. Noishe whimpered, his ears were slicked to his skull. He was suffering from pains in his belly, add Lloyd's loudness to the whole situation and it was easy to say Noishe was just suffering all around.

"I haven't been away from Issia in a mighty long time Ruian."

"If you go out to that pond every night you best get used to it."

"Maybe once or twice a week would be better."

"That is between you and her, do not even _think_ to drag me into it."

"But you might be able to help-"

"No, leave me out of it."

"But-"

"Syt, enough"  
"Couldn't you just try to settle Lloyd down for the night, so I can sleep if nothin' else."

"As I recall you are the one who put sugar in his medicine, I do not need to sleep so I am not going to suffer from this. As a mater of fact…" Kratos' eyes softened a bit. "I do not mind watching him play at all."

"Da-"

"Don't even finish that word." Syt wisely fell silent under Kratos' glare. "Lay down, close your eyes, you'll pass out eventually."

"You're a bundle of comfort and warmth tonight."

"You are not the only one missing his bed."

"And Anna, you be missin' her I bet?" Syt snickered, as Kratos' glare grew fiercer the fisherman lost his courage. "I'm thinkin' I should be layin' down now…" "Do that." Kratos' voice dipped down to a growl, it wasn't all that different from Anna's when she had been giving the fisherman a verbal lashing. "Daddy can we go fishin' tomorrow?" "I…" Kratos sighed as his son gave him puppy eyes. "…will talk to your mother about it…" "Ruian, you're a glutton for punishment, you know that?" "Go to sleep Syt, or I will make you." "Heh," Syt curled up with his blankets, and as Lloyd decided his grouchy "unca" needed a hug, he sighed. "If your Moma says no lad I'll talk to Issia about it." "Who now is a glutton for punishment?" Kratos taunted, he leaned against the wall dark eyes glittering with amusement. "I don't know what you're talkin' about Ruian." "Of course not," Kratos smirked at nothing it seemed. "Come on Lloyd, I think I can recall another story right now." "Yah! A story! Can you tell me the story about the big bush?" "The giant Karlan Tree?" "Bush!" "No Lloyd, it was a tree…" "Bush!" Lloyd crossed his arms in front of his chest, a stubborn look on his face. "Do you want to hear the story or not?" Kratos also crossed his arms in front of his chest, and met his boy's eyes. "Bush sounds better!" "Perhaps, but it was a tree. Was not it Noishe?" The protozoan barked, than nodded his head. "If Noshy says it's a tree…" Lloyd sighed, he hated giving up on anything. "Do not be so stubborn Lloyd, calling it a bush would demean it, that is why it is a tree." "Demean?" "Make fun of." "Oh," "The Kharlan Tree is special; it is the source of all mana in the whole world. When it was first planted, in the very beginnings of time, great and wonderful things happened. Noishe was actually born when the tree was planted." Lloyd's face crinkled up in confusion. "Sometimes things that seem young can be in fact very _very_ old." "Like Noshy?" "Yes. Like Noishe." "Noshy!" "Lloyd…" "Sorry, I stop being bad." "Good, now where was I?" "Noshy born under the tree…" "Ah yes, thank you, now Noishe was born under the tree a very long time ago…" Syt watched in awe as Lloyd drifted off with a happy smile on his face. The fisherman's mind was buzzing from all that Kratos had told his boy, of the Protozoan, the Elves, and the old world. Syt stared at nothing for a bit. He didn't watch as Kratos picked Lloyd up, placed Lloyd on his small bed, and tuck him in. Having done it often enough with his boys Syt knew how long it generally took to do so. When he guessed Kratos was done he rolled over, so he was facing the dark wall that the Seraphim was leaning against. "All that true?" "I never lie to my family Syt." "Is it safe, you tellin' him all that?" "If he told anyone they would think him strange, yes, but I don't think anyone would take him seriously… and he needs to know the truth before he hears all the lies." "The lies?" "The church will lie to him Syt, they will try to poison him. If he knows the truth, they wont be able to touch him." "What is Noishe?" Syt suddenly snapped, he looked to the wolf thing and saw much to his discomfort that it was looking back. It wasn't the same look a dog would give you, that _I love you and I'm dumb look_. It was a mix of that_ I know more then you do look _animals gave you, plus something that was strangely human.

"Were not you paying attention?" Kratos asked, a slight smile curling his lips. In the dark room it was hard to see it, but Syt knew it was there.

"He's a protozoan, you called him that, but what is a protozoan?"

"I don't know." Kratos looked to Noishe, the "dog" wagged his tail and it seemed a smile was on his lips. "Evolution personified is the best definition I have come up with. He changes, every time the world is to change he changes. That is what an Elf sorcerer once told me. He has been in this form for less then six years, so I imagine something major is going to happen."

"This form?"

"Does it disturb you so much?" Kratos closed his eyes, tilted his head to the ceiling. "When I first met Noishe he was in an egg. Fell out of a tree actually, or was about ready to. I rode ahead, caught him before he fell on the ground. I actually thought I was holding a emerald, the shell was a translucent green, not too unlike the gem stone. Martel, she was so sad, so worried because Mithos was ill. I gave her the gem in an attempt to cheer her up, and the second she touched the gem this one…" Kratos pointed to Noishe. "decided to hatch." "Hatch?" Syt was just staring at Noishe as if he'd never seen him before. Noishe met the gaze, then closed one eye in a wink.

"He hatched from an egg, just like a chicken?"

"Yes, and he looked so much like one that Yuan decided we should keep him, fatten him up, and have him when our rations ran thin."

Noishe growled, his hackles flared out behind him.

"It was four thousand, sixty eight years ago, and you still have not forgiven him I see."

Syt's eyes were glazing. Kratos laughed quietly, so not to wake Lloyd.

"It's scary how you sometimes just throw that number out like it's nothin'."

"Is it not? Yet it is everything Syt. Time is everything to me, I have eternity and yet I have so little in that eternity to hold onto. One day," Kratos sighed. "One day in twenty, thirty, maybe forty years you will be dead. What is that compared to four thousand years? Nothing, maybe a moment, but in the larger scheme it is nothing really. In one way I am lucky, I never forget, I am incapable of forgetting anything no mater how small, so what memories I have of you will not die in time... But in the same way I am cursed, because I can never forget, even what I wish to. Time is a double edged sword for me my friend, and I can see you don't fully understand from your glazed eyes…"

"Does Anna understand?"

"Yes, she does."

"She's mighty sharp if she can, my head just hurts tryin' to imagine it all, what it's like."

"She sees the world differently then most people."

"I reckon she does." Syt swallowed, than looked at the Seraphim. "We're simple folk next to you Ruian, me an Issia we're simple as simple gets aren't we?"

"Hardly," Kratos looked to Noishe. "You can take this; so many others would have broke by now. You lost your lively hood, some of your family, your very way of life, my friend; you now must endure the weight that would destroy the minds of even the most enlightened scholars."

"No weight, we're friends and all that, it ain't a weight."

"And that is what makes you different. Any other man would have called it a weight; and I would have agreed. If we see the world one way Syt you see it in another. In a much clearer way then I ever could." There was a long pause. Syt knew he was blushing; Kratos wasn't the one to praise anyone. At least that's how it seemed to the fisher man. Kratos was staring at him, reading him with those brown black eyes.

"Them protozoan, why aint there more of them around, I mean I never seen any more of 'em but this one here…"

"For all I know Noishe is the last of his kind, if the great Kharlan Tree ever is brought back into this world more may be born. But so long as it remains as a seed no more protozoan will come into this world… Even." Kratos coughed. "Even if Noshie were to find a mate…" Noishe whined, and Syt could have sworn that Noishe's cheeks were darker.

"How old is he?"

"Older then I care to think about. As I understand it a protozoan goes through several evolutions in its life time, fish, bird, wolf… Those are the forms recorded, for all we know there is more."

"That the whole of it, some book really say fish, bird, wolf…"

"No, you do not really want to hear the full of it do you?"

"Aye, I might be wantin' to awake as I am and all that."

"I can not believe you want a bed time story as well…"

"Please Daddy." Syt widened his eyes and tried to match Lloyd's pitch, the seraphim glared at Syt, then sighed.

"Why me?"

"Keeps you young."

"I do not_ need_ to stay young."

"Heh, that's Martel's own truth."

"Do you want to know or not?"

"Sure!"

"Alright, the original text I discovered on the protozoan was in a place once called Lathorian, there was a great city there, and the elvish city was lost to the wars. The passage from that book went;

_From the tangled heart of the heart of all shall form great potential. From this raw potential shall the plague of chaos rear it's head and smite down life, for hear me well potential is life in it's infancy. From that point hence death and life begin their war in the hearts of all that exist in the whole world. From this good and evil once cleanly divided and once solely potential mingle and mix. With chaos and life they slid into the great heart of all, as the heart strives to absorb all and take it back to infancy. But hear me the heart be not great enough, once unleashed and tainted potential became infinity, and pressed against the boundaries of the finite of good and evil which bind this world together there was no place for it. So did Origin, to save the heart of all, wielded in one hand the hammer of the gods, in the other the clay of the world, and from Hammer and Clay, in the heart of the great Forge, he wrought for the beginnings of life, of ever changing life. First observed was it to_ _be little more then fish, they played in the seas for the worlds land itself was a small shrunken thing. Ash choked the skies, lightening gouged the earth, chaos was dominant and deadly. But the seas were safe, and so there they stayed. Then the sky's once filled with poison, they did clean, the pools of the world grew tainted. So from watery haven to starry heaven the protozoan flew, they were for this time one with heaven, with sky, and pressed themselves against the very cage of the world and saw the chaos recede and with its recession did the world of men, elf, and those in between come into being…_"


	35. Leaving Luin

Chapter 35

The inn was busy, the small common room was filled, all the rooms were taken. Syt and Issia had hired someone else to manage things for the day, they spent the last morning with their friends. Lloyd knew they were leaving, was sad, but not as sad as last time. Perhaps it was the fact that he did not have to say good bye to Syt's children, perhaps it was merely he did not remember them. Either way he was quiet, subdued, but he did not weep. He sat by his mother, sipping the stew that had been brought for him to eat. He didn't talk all that much, he allowed the adults to spend most of the time in quiet talk. He was so quiet in fact that Kratos was a bit worried. He said nothing though, did not raise anyone else's' worries with his own. He merely kept a firm eye on Lloyd. The morning came and went, and as the noon lull came upon the small business Kratos suggested that it was time to leave. Syt and Issia walked them to the city gate, walked with them outside the towns boundaries. At last, after walking a mile outside the boundaries of the town they stopped.

"I don't be seein' why you feel you have to leave and all..." Syt muttered, as he took Kratos' hand in a farewell hand clasp. "The men who were followin' you wont be anymore."

"The Desian's wont be following us, Cruxis might."

"Damn it all Ruian, you need to do somethin' 'bout this! You can't raise a kid on the run, it ain't healthy for 'im."

"I am working on that." The grim note in Kratos' voice made Syt grin.

"Aye, I be thinkin' yon leaders days are numbered!"

"They are Syt, they are."

"Take care of yourselves, and if you need anythin' you come here, understand?"

"I shall." Kratos smiled with genuine warmth. "I owe you a great deal my friend."

"Pah you owe me nothin' we're friends. Try to visit sometime on your wanderin's."

"We will make a point of it."

"And if he forgets, I'll remind him." Anna promised Issia as they broke off from their hug. They were off a little ways, so the men had no idea what Kratos was supposed to be reminded of. "Do you need me to go through what to do if Syt gives you problems over..."

"No I have it down pat."

"Good."

"And if Kratos starts to bother you over..."  
"He wont, don't worry about it."

"Bother you about what Anna?" Kratos called to them, both woman started in surprise.

"Nothing dear!" Anna smiled. "We were just taking notes on various... domestic maneuvering."

"What she means m' friend." Syt confided to the baffled Seraphim. "Is that they're takin' notes on how to better back us into corners when we talk 'bout doin' somethin' that they don't want us to do."

"She was bad enough without a tutor." Kratos growled.

"Aye, no offense meant but I be thinkin' it's a good thing we be splitting paths. Anymore of this an' we'd have no say in nothin'."

"Indeed..."

Noishe barked, his tail a wag, a playful Lloyd riding him like a horse. Noishe was good about walking slowly, and staying in the sight of both Kratos and Anna, he had after all a great deal of practice in this. Syt sighed, bent down and gave the protozoan's head a rough shake.

"You take good care of them, you hear?"

Noishe nodded his head, then licked the fisherman. It was the first time in Kratos' memory that the protozoan had ever done so to anyone but himself, Anna, or Lloyd. They left the Syt and his wife shortly after that, just walked away from Luin with no particular goal in mind. Lloyd was thrilled to be on the road again, to ride on Noishe's back and watch the world slide by from his furry seat. Since they had no particular goal in mind, well except to find the main traveling road, they went at a leisurely pace. It was cold of course, the ground was muddy with piles of thin snow on the ground. That was part of the reason Kratos was not so adamant about Lloyd walking today, it was wretched weather to be walking in. Though he could not feel the cold there was a heaviness to cold water that hot did not have. Even if he didn't have that the fact his breath steamed the air around him was hint enough to the weather. There was something magical about a forest wrapped in snow, something beautiful about it, there was a sense of stillness, the tingle of life under the skin of ice. A shame thaw didn't have that same feel. It was chaotic, messy, it lacked that perfection. But what shoots of green that made if through the slush were perhaps all the more vivid for their drear surroundings. When Anna shivered Kratos paused, took off his cloak, then gently draped it around her shoulders. She smiled at him, then draped an arm over his shoulder, They walked like that for a while, paused only when Noishe grew weary, then continued. They were no rush, the world seemed to be hovering between it's seasons as they were hovering between their various options. Neither were in a great rush to make up their minds, to leap into the next stage, they only spent the time to enjoy the moment.

"Daddy, there's a big thing there!" Lloyd pointed to the house of salvation. Lloyd was, much to his happiness, perched on his father's shoulders. He leaned into his father's hair, or rather hood. "It's really big!"  
"That is a house of salvation." Kratos looked at the wooden chapel, he frowned. "Sometimes when people are on pilgrimages they stop at these places for the night."

"What's a pilgerfudge?"

"Pilgrimage." Anna corrected, reaching up to adjust Lloyd's fur cloak so it better covered him. "It's a holy journey, a holy quest, Martel tells us to do them so that we can become better people."

Lloyd blinked, looked baffled, his small face then scrunched up in concentration.

"Are we on a pilgrafud?"

"Say it right Lloyd, it is called a Pilgrimage."

"Pilgrimage." Lloyd dragged out the word, slowed it down so they could hear him get every syllable right.

"That is better," Kratos smiled slightly, looked up to consider his son, then went back to brooding at the chapel. "No, we are not, we are on our own journey. That is why we can not go their for the night."

"Actually." Anna had a note of steel in her voice. "Me and Daddy still need to talk about that."

"There is no talk about it, I said no, I will not be swayed."

"Daddy's being grouchy again, but you know how he is."

"Anna!"

"Daddy's not a grouch!"

Surprised Anna looked at Lloyd. Normally he would back her up in this, not his father. Something in her gut clenched, a warning. Anna kept her voice neutral, as she responded to her son's words.

"Why do you say that?"

"I get cold..." Lloyd looked at the temple and shivered. Then he patted his stomach. His stomach grew cold when he looked at the temple? That was strange, very strange, neither Anna or Kratos had been coaching their boy to be scared of the church. They had yet to even tell him why they never went to one, why they avoided priests.

"Lloyd," Anna kept her voice steady. "Do the priests scare you?" Goddess if he said yes her and Kratos were going to have to talk... and soon. They couldn't let this go on.

"Nope."  
"Does the temple scare you?" Kratos managed, she could hear the concern in his voice. Luckily Lloyd didn't pick up on the slight waver that was in his father's tone.

"A little."

"Why does it scare you Lloyd?"

"I dunno..." Lloyd shrugged.

"Does it have to do with that nightmare you've been having?" Anna hazard.

Lloyd squirmed in discomfort, he hated even thinking about that nightmare. Everything his parents brought it up he'd just go all quiet, he'd turn somber, and not answer them. Perhaps now he would tell them, perhaps... Lloyd only leaned against his father's head, snuggled as much as he could, and did not respond to his mother's question.

"Lloyd, answer your mother." Kratos barked. Lloyd knew that tone, knew to not immediately answer it meant he was in trouble, but he just remained silent, looked to his father with a helpless expression. Kratos frowned, he wasn't angry, but his frustration was scary enough for Lloyd. Their boy paled, looked away, and continued to be silent. "Someday soon," Kratos sighed, the anger draining out of him. "You need to tell us why you are scared Lloyd, that way we can help you not be scared anymore. Understood?"

"'K Daddy!" The happiness was back so fast it was hard to imagine that Lloyd was worried a second ago.

"Alright, since we will be camping, let us find a suitable spot for it shall we? Now then, what do we look for at first that tells us if a place is good to camp in or not?"

"High ground!"

"Very good... now what else does a good site need..."

xxx xxx xxx xxx

Lloyd lay in their tent, wrapped in a cocoon of both his and his father's blankets. Kratos, Anna, and Noishe sat around the small fire, it was well past midnight, worry kept Anna awake, Kratos did not need to sleep, and Noishe... Noishe was just up, whether sleep was needful for him or not Neither human nor seraphim really knew. The protozoan had his head resting in Anna's lap, a favored spot of his to plop his head down on. He looked up Anna, who in her worry was neglecting to scritch his ears. A hopeless whine snapped her back to reality, she smiled apologetically and set her hands through his silken fur. The world around them was wet, a slushy mess that the moonless night was well in concealing.

"Well," Kratos sighed, considered the maps he had laid out on a tree stump. "We are rather limited in our options. Frankly we have been almost everywhere on Sylvarant, it looks as if Tethe'alla might be where we should consider traveling to next."  
"Kratos, it's not going to be easy anymore, Lloyd's too old to be going between worlds now. He'll start asking questions, and he's too young to be expected to keep a secret like that. We have to stay here until he gets mature enough to make the trip."

"Well where else do you recommend going?" Kratos snapped, his patience running thin. "PalmaCosta, Hima, Izoold, and Luin aren't options anymore. And I wont even hear any argument for Triet, the terrain is too rough, half of the children born their die from the elements."

"How about here?" Anna tapped a point on the map, and Kratos considered it.

"Iselia? Anna, Cruxis is lingering there like vultures over a kill. The chosen was born there, they are keeping surveillance over the whole area from here," Kratos tapped the edge of Triet's dessert marked as Efreet's Forge. "to here." He slid his digit across the map until he came to the small town. "Farther more," A spot in the forest was firmly tapped. "Have you forgotten what this area has in it?" Anna shivered, the ranch, that was Forcystus' ranch. Seeing her reaction Kratos winced at his own brutality. "I am sorry, I should not have said that."

"No you have a point, Goddess how could I have forgotten?"

Kratos sighed, considered some of the less prominent villages on the map, and shook his head.

"Any of these other places are too small, everyone knows everyone else in that place. We wouldn't be able to fit in at all..." The tent flap rustled, Kratos spun about, then released the hilt of his sword with a sigh. "Lloyd what have I told you about sneaking up on me like that?"

"Sorry..." Lloyd yawned. "couldn't sleep."

"No Lloyd, we're sorry, go back to bed I'll be in in a moment."

"I'm not sleepy..." Lloyd yawned, walked up to them and saw the maps. He looked from one to the other in confusion. "Pretty pictures." He noted, sitting down by Noishe.

"I guess so." Kratos smiled at his boy. "Lloyd, you should go back to bed. Your mother will be along in a moment."

"Watcha doin'?"

"Talking." Kratos sighed. "Adult talk."

"Adult talk?"

"Plans mainly, just working out our next destination, so on and so forth..."

"Where we goin'?"

"We don't know yet." Anna smiled. "That's the fun about traveling, we don't have to go anywhere we really don't want to and we can make it up as we go along."

"Oh," Lloyd leaned against Noishe, the protozoan craned his head around and gave the boy a lick on his head. "Silly Noshy, stop that!" Noishe paid no heed, continued to lick Lloyd until he had fully mussed up the boy's hair. The protozoan then picked the youngest Aurion up by the seat of his pants and carried him back to the tent. "Noshy, I'm not sleepy, I wanna go outside!" There was a bark and a bit of a struggle from inside the tent.

"I better go in and save him." Anna did not specify whom she was saving though. From the racket in the tent one or both of them needed saving. As she left him Kratos folded up the maps. She had a point, what could they do with Lloyd in tow, how could they slip between the worlds. Should they try to hide it, try to explain? Not knowing an answer was rare for the seraphim, it was unsettling. Then suddenly he did know at least one of his answers, Anna had given it to him. They'd just make it up as they went along.

"Daddy." Lloyd was perched on Noishe, his eyes thoughtful. Anna was in Asguard getting there supplies. Kratos had objected at first, but then bowed to her wisdom. He was too well known here, he had worked here for a span, had become something of a local legend. Anna was not so well known, had done no great deeds here, so it would be safer for her in the city by herself. What rankled at the seraphim was that is was "safer" not "safe". But then he could never offer totally safety to those he loved, he had far too many enemies for that to be true. After mulling about it for so long it was nice to have Lloyd speak up, to drag him out of his mental pit.

"Yes, is something wrong?" He turned to his boy, whose eyes were his own. Concentration crumpled his son's normally open face, and perhaps a bit of confusion.

"Daddy, do you eat?"

"What do you mean?" Kratos mentally winced, this was not a train of though he wanted Lloyd to pursue too far. "You have seen me eat with your mother and you all the time."

"But you don't eat lots like mommy and me, only a little bit..."

"Some people have smaller appetites, I just happen to be one of those people."

"Oh, why's that?"

"I guess it's because I'm a bit special, a bit different from everyone else."

Lloyd giggled. "Daddy's special cuz he's Daddy!"

"I guess so." Kratos smiled, bent down and ruffled his son's hair.

"You're the best Daddy in the whole world."  
"I wouldn't go that far..." Kratos knew his face was turning red at the unexpected praise.

"Yes you are! You really are!" Once Lloyd got an idea it was impossible to shake him from it, he would take no argument from anyone on his idea, not even his father. "Mommy even said so!"

"She did now?" Kratos laughed. "Well you both can think whatever you want, I still don't fully agree with you."

"But you are!" Lloyd crossed his arms in front of his chest, a glare on his small face.

"And why is that?" Kratos asked, a humored smile on his lips.

"Because I said so!"

"That is not a good answer." Kratos scolded gently. "When you answer a question 'because I said so' you give the worst response ever. You have to have a reason, a real reason, not because someone else told you, or because everyone else thinks it is right, those are not answers, they are excuses. 'because I said so' is even worse, because it is not even an excuse, it does not justify anything."

"What?" Lloyd now looked totally confused, he was after all only three and a half.

"Just find another reason." Anna had told them she would re-join there campsite tomorrow morning, it was only noon. Lloyd's attempts at finding another excuse would probably prove to be the days entertainment for them both.

"'K..." Lloyd hopped off Noishe and plopped down on the cold wet ground, his face screwed up in thought. Kratos bit his tongue to keep from laughing. Lloyd was so serious about this, determined to prove his father wrong and show him that he was the best "daddy in the world". After an hour of sitting on the cold ground Lloyd smiled, stood up, and looked around. Daddy was sitting by a pile of wood, counting the pieces for some funny reason. But then Daddy was funny sometimes. As he came closer Daddy turned from whatever it was he was doing with the wood. "I love you!"

"I love you too," Daddy did a quiet laugh, shook his head. "but you forgot what you were thinking about didn't you?"

"Did not, that's why you're the best Daddy ever!"

Daddy had a funny look on his face, he cocked his head to the side, and his hair fell into his eyes.

"I love you, that makes you the best Daddy ever, because I love you!"

"Now where did this come from?" Daddy's voice sounded all funny. Kind of tight, like he was trying not to cough or something.

"I dunno." Lloyd shrugged, plopped down on a new patch of cold ground.

"Come closer, I'll get the fire started so you can warm up a bit."  
"N..nn..not cold..." Lloyd's teeth were chattering even though he didn't want them to.

"Lloyd," Surprised by Daddy's serious tone he looked up. "Don't ever try to hide if you feel sick, or hot, or cold, ever. You have to tell me what you feel."

"'K." As he watched Daddy smack two rocks together a strange thought came to Lloyd. One much older then he was, and because he was so young he blurted it out without thinking. "Daddy, are you cold, ever?" Daddy stopped smacking the rocks together. He looked at him, and his face was hurt. "Daddy, did I say somethin' bad?"

"No... it's not that." Daddy pulled the hair out of his eyes, looked him with the serious look. Daddy was never serious with him, he always smiled. But there wasn't a smile on his face now, there was a frown. It wasn't Daddy's angry frown face though, it was a funny look, kind of like when his hair fell into his eyes. "Do you remember how I told you Daddy's special?"

"Un huh." Lloyd nodded.

"That's part of why Daddy's special, I... I do not feel cold or hot, that is why I need you and Mommy to tell me sometimes."

"I'm sorry!"

"It is not your fault, do not apologize."

"'K..." Daddy seemed so sad now, he had to do something to make Daddy happy again. "Daddy, did your daddy tell you all your stories?"

"No, my father was not a good man Lloyd, he never told me stories."

Daddy seemed sadder then ever.

"Did Noshy?"

"Noshy? No," Daddy laughed. "Noishe never told me stories, he is not one for talk."

"Who told you them?"

"My mother told me a few." Daddy smiled, looked at something far away. "My friends told me a few more, and the rest I picked up as I went along."

"Oh. Can you tell me all of them?"

"All!" Daddy laughed. "Right now?"

"Please Daddy, please!"  
"I can not, not at this moment. If I told you all of my stories we would be here for years and years. I will tell you what," Daddy went back to striking rocks together over the wood. "What I will do is try to tell you as many of my stories as I we travel around. I also promise to tell you one every night."

"Every night!"

"Yes, every night."

Lloyd cheered, then ran to his father and gave him a hug. He was firmly scolded about getting to close to Daddy while Daddy was starting a fire but Lloyd didn't care. He knew he had the best daddy in the whole world now! He just knew it!


	36. To Falinor

Homocidal Snowbunnies: Working on it... I'm rather busy though...

Vocalsama: Funny... sheesh talk about a cruel sense of humor...If you like the bonding in this fic you might like what I do in Shards of Regeneration (the sequal) to Double Edged Sword.

ArchNavy: Yeah Lloyd is rather absentminded kind of like m- umm what was I talking about? Seriously though I think Lloyd takes after Anna or maybe it was Dirk's cooking or Raine's continuous blows to his head that made Lloyd's mental compassity so tiny lol.

Heiisbabysammy: (sorry if I got your pen name wrong) Thanks!

MoonCanon: Feels different huh? I never really noticed that.

FairyV: Lloyd and Kratos honesty is something that occures not only in this fic but in the game. It's a theme that I foundfacinating because though Kratos lies a little to the othershe never directly lies to Lloyd and guilds him. I figure I should continue, or rather establish it in this fic becuase it's the begnining of everything else game/fic wise... Doest that make any sense? Bleh sleep deprivation's making mywriting all nutty.

A/N: Can someone give me the proper spelling for the "reihards" and for the snow city "Falinor" I need these so I can edit this chapter (and the others which may hold miss-spellings) I need this because due to my up coming college classes I'm not going to have any time to play TOS. As a matter of fact I am now trying to write/transfer this and write an outline for psychology simultaneously.

To Falinor

Chapter 36

They had to tell him, they had to show him, there had been no other way. They flew on the "metal birdies" over Triet at night. Lloyd gasped as the world slid underneath him, tried to lean over to get a better look. Kratos would free up a hand at that point and pull him back before he toppled to his death. Anna was pale, clung to him with an iron grip. She closed her eyes, she moaned and whimpered. Kratos tried to comfort her, told her he was very skilled at flying, he knew what he was doing, and if by chance she fell he was more then capable of saving her. Through pale lips she told him to shut up and get this over with. Lloyd was oblivious to it all, just cheerfully pointed out Triet and anything else that caught his attention. Anna leaned into his back, Lloyd sat content in his lap. His son watched in fascination as Kratos worked the Reihard's controls. So as they flew Kratos found himself giving Lloyd instructions on how to work the ship. It seemed he was always doing that, it also seemed that Lloyd did not mind, which made it a good arrangement for all involved.

Well except Anna, who kept quietly begging him to hurry up.

Lazily the Reihard glided over Yuan's fortress, in front of them, hanging in air was a ripple of mana. Kratos firmly held Lloyd down, then lifted his right hand to the heavens. His ex-sphere flashed with silver blue light, and the ripple that was only visible to his eyes began to glow. Lloyd gasped in awe, Anna scrunched up her eyes then began to pray quietly, she knew what was coming. Kratos slammed down his left foot, and the Reihard surged forward, towards the swirling sky. Anna shrieked, held onto him for dear life, Lloyd whooped, there was a flash of light, a wrench in the pit of his stomach. Under Anna's fingernails he could feel his blood seeping out.

"Anna we are through, you can let go now..." Anna only whimpered in terror, refused to open her eyes. "Anna, you are hurting me." The grip shifted a bit, and he had ten new spots that began to ache.

"Daddy, let's do that again!"

"Some other time perhaps..." He hissed in pain. "Without your mother if we can arrange it..."

"Just shut up and land!" Anna wailed, she was shaking like a leaf in the wind.

"Anna we are over an ocean, landing here would be stupidity in the greatest sense."

"Don't lecture, just land!"  
"Yes dear..."

Lloyd giggled, leaned forward to catch something as it drifted by. He leaned a little too far for the Seraphim's liking, and Kratos freed up a hand to restrain his son. Brave, or rather too young to be frightened, his son strained against his father's grip, and snatched at something in the air. Holding it close, Lloyd allowed himself to be reeled back in. Still holding whatever it was in one hand, pressed against his chest, Lloyd used his free hand to point to the large mass of ice and snow up ahead.

"Daddy, what's that?"

"A continent Lloyd, it has no name."

"Oh, it's big."

"I guess it is a bit big." The seraphim agreed, steering them towards it, as they came closer Lloyd's eyes grew wider.

"It's really really big!"

"Do not worry, it does not bite."

"I swear Kratos, if we don't land in the next few minuets..."

"Daddy, why's mommy acting all funny?"

"She does not like flying I guess."

"Stop making fun of me and land already!"

"In a moment."

Kratos sighed, he wanted to fly them up to the city's gate, but Anna would not allow that, he went as far as he felt he could get away with, then landed. Like most of the northern continent the area they landed in was flat, barren. Snow swirled around them, it was night, the stars gleamed with a ferocity only seen this far north on a moonless night. Lloyd shivered, now he probably saw the reason why Daddy had insisted he wear his heavy clothes and fur coat. Noishe seeing them fly in howled, ran up to them. Or rather he tried, his footing was bad in the snow and ice so he fell a great deal. This was the second time in one night he had made the trip, his first companion to ride with him had been almost as bad as Anna. Well at least Anna wasn't armed with razor sharp teeth. Her nails were bad enough.

Muttering prayers to Martel Anna hopped out of the Riehard, and tried her best to hug the ground... She wasn't doing so good a job on that and all she really managed to do was hug the snow. Kratos snorted, then picked Lloyd up and gently un-pried him from the Riehard. Lloyd took advantage of the situation to hug his father, or rather try to get his arms around his father's mid section. He had no luck there. The many layers of garments he wore made Kratos even thicker then before, and Lloyd's own mobility was restricted due to the fur coat he wore. Still he tried, and Kratos chuckled and patted his son's head.

"Come on, let us get going. We have a long walk after all." Anna glared at him, he ignored the glare and muttered a phrase in the angelic tongue. The Riehard shimmered, then shrunk down to the size of a child's toy. The seraphim bent down, picked up the ship before Lloyd could go for it, and put it in it's special box. That box then went in the bottom of Kratos' personal packs, a place where Lloyd knew very well to keep his hands out of. When he turned back to Anna she was shivering, she jerked her head towards Falinor and the Seraphim nodded. They walked like always, very close together, almost touching. The world was white, the starlight seemed magnified a thousand times, the banks around them were highlighted with silver blue.

Lloyd gapped at the Aura lights, and while they walked Kratos told him a story of how they came to be. It was one of his "tall tales", Anna's words not his own, and both his wife and son seemed to fall into a trance while he described how in the Aura's all the colors of the day time and sunset dwelled. When he wound up his story they were close to Falinor, probably three miles at most, and Lloyd, despite being up well past his bedtime was wide awake. At the end of Kratos' story, and the end of Lloyd's thousand and one questions that always came out after a story, there ended the peace of the moment. And it was not some monster that caused the peace to end, rather restlessness.

Lloyd kept wandering off, much to Kratos' worry. He'd scamper behind drifts, run ahead, or lag behind. Noishe whined, tried to keep pace with Lloyd, to herd him back to his parents. Well he did at first. A few snowballs later the protozoan made a kind of grunt-whine, as if to say, you watch him this time, then ran to Falinor leaving them all behind.

"Lloyd!" Anna yelled, as he yet again disappeared from their sight. Anna then cried out as Lloyd nailed her with a snowball. "Where did you learn to do that!"

Kratos mentally scolded himself on telling Lloyd how much he liked having snow fights when he was a young man, it seemed as if he was going to have to watch what he said. He ducked a lumpy missile, Lloyd was going a bit to far here, he needed to be reined in... The next snowball got him right in the face, with a grunt he wiped off the attack. Another one connected, it was quite a bit larger then the first, and the force it was thrown at made him stagger. Anna it seemed was going to side with Lloyd on this one. Perhaps sensing his mood she had decided that her _Derris Fa Gathsuun _needed to lighten up a bit. As she threw another snowball the Seraphim dodged, ducked behind a drift, and winced as he heard the snowballs pelt into his make shift fort.

"This is unfair you know!" The seraphim yelled from his sanctuary. "Two against one is not even odds!"

"We know that dear!" Anna called back, "but I don't think Lloyd or I care all that much!"

"Great..." He considered the odds of winning this fight, considered retreat, then decided he'd go along with their game. If it made them happy he'd be a target. Making a few weapons of his own he waited until the attacks died down.  
"Kratos, are you just going to hide back there for-?" Anna sounded a bit annoyed but was cut off from her husbands counter attack. As Anna returned fire he ducked behind his sanctuary. Kratos could hear Lloyd laughing, then Anna shrieked then she too burst out laughing. "Who's side are you on Lloyd!"

"Daddy's!"

"Being a double crosser isn't a good thing Lloyd. Grr! I see a snow drift with your name on it!"

"Help, Daddy help me!"

Kratos lifted his head from behind the sanctuary, laughed as Anna picked Lloyd up and carried him to a large snow drift. Lloyd squealed as he was dumped on the drift, then taking advantage of the situation he managed to throw a few fistfuls at his mother. Anna drew a hand over her face, staggered back, and winced as she was nailed from behind. Then it was her turn to hide, to scramble for cover, and listen to the men's taunts. She was more then a match for them though. Lloyd and Kratos' both had poor aiming skills, Anna on the other hand hit almost every time. Only when Anna's teeth chattered, and Lloyd's bottomless energy ran low did they stop, leaving a clearing filled with churned up snow. The echoes of their laughter hung in the air, their joy seemed to linger long after they were gone.


	37. unavoidable consequence

Consequences 

Chapter 37

It was easy to blend in with the people of Falinor. Wandering pilgrims, they had been that for a span and now were settling down to raise their son. In many ways it was the truth, because of that Anna did not hesitate when she was questioned, did not stumble over the lie. For that he was grateful, because of that he could relax, just a little bit. Unlike PalmaCosta he did not pose as a mercenary, did not wander the wilderness around the town looking for monsters to kill. They were numerous and savage and his sword would have been welcome, but the last time... He could not forget, would not, and so while Anna and Lloyd found much joy in the city Kratos was torn with guilt, a guilt he kept well hidden. He did not leave the confines of the city, unless it was with his family in tow for one of their outings, something that Anna insisted they do quite frequently. A few days bleed into a half month, and they found peace in the stillness of the white shrouded city. Anna found employment in one of the inn's she served as a waitress, where Kratos did odd and end jobs around town. They both scheduled their days so at least one of them would be at home with Lloyd, and at least once every week they would have one day to be together. Anna grumbled a great deal about the tourists, her job drained her a great deal, and he constantly worried for her health. Not openly, he did not talk to her openly about this, she would have lied. As much as it grieved him to admit that she would have lied to him to keep him from his own worry. So he said nothing, he kept his eyes open, and did not like what he was seeing. Yes there were strains to holding a job day in and day out, there was a continual pressure, a steady drain on the resources, but that did not explain it all. It did not explain the occasional chills, the rasping cough, her health was clearly deteriorating, and he had no idea what to do. They could flee, yet again, but to where? At least, he managed to comfort himself a bit, there were many doctors about, and the prices they offered were not unfair. In secret he saved a portion of his money, set it aside for the time that she would finally tell him she was ill and ask to be treated. But if she waited too long, he would take the situation in hand, he'd whap her upside the head and drag her to a doctor to be treated. Unfortunately it was looking more and more like he would have to rely on option number two.

He mulled over this as he picked his way up the stairs that lead to the towns higher level. His fur coat flapped a bit behind him, but then it was a bit large for him and he expected as much. Hearing the strange sound though made him miss his tunic and pants. He even missed the sparrow tail cloak, and it's infernal flaps that would flutter like an extra pair of wings whenever he ran. What he missed most keenly of all was the comforting rattle of a sword by his side. That though was totally out of the question though. Steel would rust here, it would be wasted, so he kept it in it's sheath and hung it over the fire place, and he endured having a staff in his hands. He did not need the coat and heavy fur garments with their thousand and one strings, but they needed safety, so he sacrificed his comfort for their need.

Noishe walked besides him, his breath steamed the air, snow fell from his coat. They were taking a walk in the snowy city, walking the steps looking down at the world from the various platforms that jutted out and allowed one to see the magnificence of the white shrouded world below. Side by side they walked, like in the old days, before Mithos' offer. I was soothing, the soft pants of the protozoan, the crunch of snow under his feet, to the rest of the world he paid no heed, it was only him and Noishe for a while. Oh from far away he heard the yelling of merchants, the cries of children, but they were off a ways. He walked past the temple of Martel and went to the tarrant. Breathtaking, with the sun just setting it was breathtaking, perfect, the whole city gleamed with fire and the colors of the sunset. He lifted his staff so that it tilted his fur cap back a bit. He smiled, and Noishe reared up on his hind legs and draped his forepaws over the railing. His tail wagged slowly, his brown eyes were wide with admiration.

"As beautiful as always is not it?" 

Noishe barked quietly, from here it seemed as if the whole world was gone, no one was on the walkway, the religious were in the temple. The faithful, their hymns were mercifully contained within the building they worshiped in. The world seemed silent, a peaceful silence, and with such beauty before him he was loath to leave. So he didn't, he stood for a while, watched the sunset and it's play of colors on the cities ice coated roof tops. There was a crunch of snow, as if on cue both Kratos and Noishe turned, and a frown appeared on the seraphim's face. The peaceful mood he had been savoring was banished.

"Lloyd, what are you doing here by yourself?"

Lloyd looked at him. His eyes were wide, his face tormented. Lloyd's lips moved for a bit but no sound came out. Tears, tears stood in his eyes as he tried to talk again. Lloyd made a kind of croak cough sound as his father came to him and knelt by his side. With a trembling hand Kratos felt his son's throat, there was nothing there he could feel not abnormalities, no swelling, not sickness nor choking, then what could... He shivered as the truth, a horrid glimmer of truth, came to him. With a shaking hand the seraphim made a quick arcane gesture, mana had stilled his son's voice... angelic mana.

Impossible, only Mithos favored muting his victims...

"Good God!" Kratos whispered, somehow he managed to retain control over himself long enough to cast the counter spell.

"Daddy!" Lloyd whimpered, clung to him, and wept.

"Shh..." Kratos held his son close. "Lloyd you must calm down, you must tell me who did this to you."

"Bad person..." Lloyd sniffled. 

"What did this bad person look like? Tall, short, young, old, did he have blue hair, blonde?"

"He... meanie, hurt Mommy, I.. I ran... Not blue hair, yellow like sun an' cat ears..."

_No, no this can't be happening... not now, not after everything we've been through!_

"Was he small, like you, only a little bigger?"  
"Yes... He hurt Mommy and I ran..." Lloyd looked up at him, with questions in his eyes.

"Noishe!" The protozoan jerked at Kratos' harsh tone. "Take Lloyd, hide him and yourself, I'll find you later."

Noishe whined, Lloyd protested with tears. They were pleading with the wrong man, Kratos jumped over the balcony, landed amongst a group of surprised humans. It didn't matter though, secrecy be damned none of it mattered if Mithos knew. When he was out of the more populous regions of Falinor he drew his wings, and flew to his home. The door was closed, locked, he put a hand on the wood and felt it hum with angelic mana. Desperation filled him, he slammed his foot into the door, kicked it down, and charged into the room staff dawn. He froze at the sight within, Mithos sat in his child's form on a chair. His white robes gleamed in the candle light, he sat at their kitchen table, kicking his feet in a show of impatience. Anna kneeled at Mithos' feet, he could see the chains of mana that were wrapped around her, that held her in that position. Her lips moved, and from what little he could read she was cursing Mithos out. 

"You took long enough." Mithos hissed, "I thought I was going to have to guild your brat to you."

"You bastard, free her right now!"

"Why should I cater to a traitor?" Mithos pulled a knife from his belt, considered Anna's prone position. "You betrayed me after all, you betrayed my ethics by soiling yourself with this human... Tell me Kratos, why shouldn't I slash her throat right now? Give me one reason not to." 

"If you so much as lay a finger on her I will free Origin, right here, right now, you'll lose your precious Pact and everything you've worked for will fall apart."

"You wouldn't dare!" It was a child's whine, in a child's voice, and a madman's eyes that met his own.

"I would." He met the boy's eyes, and Mithos shivered at whatever he saw in his old mentor's face. "Try it, you can watch as Derris Kharlan falls from the sky."

"I always wondered why you had gotten so brave of late, so companionate to those inferior to us... You are weakening yourself my friend, a mere shade of yourself, this is all for your benefit."

"Trying to kill my wife is for my benefit?" Kratos' voice was a mere hiss. "Hurting my son is for my benefit? I guess you could call if that, if say Martel's death was for your benefit. As if Martel's death helped Yuan. Free her Mithos, or else."

"How dare you drag Martel into this!"

"How dare you harm my wife, how dare you threaten my son!" Kratos roared back, the staff shattered in his grasp, he threw the pieces aside. Mithos took a step back, his eyes wide in terror. "Get out, now, or I swear I will kill you. Do not ever cross my path again, or you shall die." 

"You can't threaten me! I..."  
A bolt of lighting flashed across the room, not enough to hurt Mithos seriously, but enough to throw him from his chair. He slammed back, smacked into the wall, and fell onto the floor with a grunt. Anna trembled, tried to stir, but the power holding her was still active. With a gesture on Kratos' part the chains shattered, returned to the mists that had bought them forth. She turned to him, cried out, a warning. Kratos whipped around, deflected the blast of lighting mana. Yuan gapped at him, stepped back, and trembled. Terror filled the elder half elven seraphim's eyes, he dropped his blade, then sank to his knees in submission.

"You'd betray me as well!" Mithos shrieked.

"I'm not stupid Mithos, I plan on living to see tomorrow."

"He's unarmed you..." There was the sound of flesh striking flesh. Kratos whipped around expecting to see Anna on the floor, tossed aside by a wave of Mithos' fury driven mana. He was surprised when he saw Mithos rubbing his cheek, Anna, her fist's clenched stood over him. Yuan looked up, his mouth sagged open.

"My God, what a woman!" Yuan's lips twitched just a bit. "No wonder you got brave so fast, can I barrow her sometime?" Kratos was floored by his fellow seraphim's banter, but no so much as when Anna took advantage of Mithos stooped posture to delivered a harsh kick to his male parts. "Never mind, I like being male, with that one around I don't think I'd stay that way."

Dazed Mithos staggered out of Anna's reach, Kratos swept into the room, pulled his sword from it's resting place, and pressed it's point against Mithos' throat. the boy snapped his head up, looked to his mentor who had once more put a sword to his throat

"You double crossing bastard, I'll kill all of you for this!"

"Get out," Anna hissed. "Go back to Derris Kharlan you murderer... Just leave us alone, leave us the hell alone!"

"You don't order me around you filthy human! No one does! Yuan, help me!"

"No Yggdrasil, you're on your own." Yuan then nodded to Kratos. "I'm sorry it came to this, I tried to stop it, please trust me when I said I tried my hardest to stop him..."

"Get out Yuan, I am in no mood to forgive anything right now."

There was a flash of the softest pink light, then Yuan was gone. Mithos shook, looked at his teacher with hatred in his face. The boy's angelic face was twisted into a demon's glare.

"You betrayed me..." It was a hiss.

"You betrayed him long before he ever betrayed you." Anna whispered. "No innocents, on your name as a Yggdrasil, you swore that to him. How many in those god damned ranches have you killed, how many of those Chosen's have you sacrificed? They weren't guilty, none of them!"   
"What does she know Kratos, what have you told her?" Mithos was calm, it was a false calm that would soon explode into violence, into a fight. He tried to gesture for Anna to go for the door, but she refused to leave his side.

"Enough you bastard, enough."

"Shut up wench, I wasn't talking to.." Mithos croaked as the tip of the steel blade was rammed into his throat. It didn't puncture the skin but knocked the air out of him.

"Do not ever insult my wife, do not ever raise your arm against her or my son."

Mithos only gasped for air, some of the word fragments he managed to cough out were hardly flattering.

"You betrayed..."

"Oh for the love of the Goddess, is that all you ever say! You betrayed him, all he ever wanted was just a bit of happiness, and when he finds it you rip it away from him. Every single time did something that didn't fit in with your damned 'ethics' you'd take away what little happiness he found and turn it into a bloody ruin! All for what, Martel? Martel is dead, she died a long time ago, and all you're doing is causing her pain with.. with this madness."

"You she-dog (A/N: the swear word wont transfer for some reason so I temporized here) I'll..." Power flickered to life in the childish hands.

Kratos spell hit first. The house shuddered around them as bolts of light fell from the heavens, Mithos cried out, covered his head with his hands as the roof decided to cave in. Anna ran for the door, Kratos was by her side, with one smooth gesture he picked her up, then flew out the door. He fled Falinor, Anna resting in his arms as they glided over the snow covered earth. 

"Oh God Kratos..." She whispered, holding onto him with a terror inspired grip. "Now what..."

"First I hide you, then I'll bring Lloyd and Noishe, then we figure it out." 

"Oh God I shouldn't have.. I... I may have just... he'll kill us all!"

"He had it coming," He tried to smile at her, and perhaps he didn't quite fail. "Anna I love you, I love Lloyd, I love Noishe, all we need is each other, and we are fine. If he comes after us again... I'll deal with it." 

"Like this time, God Kratos if he hadn't been so surprised... And you're sword didn't even hurt him! What kind of person doesn't get hurt?"

"He can get hurt, you just have to have the right sword. All I have to do is go visit a friend of mine to pick it up." A grim smile touched his lips. "And once I have it, he wont dare lay a hand on you or Lloyd. We will be safe, I promise, I wont let him hurt you or Lloyd."   
Spotting the cave he drifted down to the earth, his wings fluttering grew less active, then he stretched them out as far as they would go. Lazily he circled the cave, drifting farther and farther down. When his spiraling descent made him level with the caves entrance he glided in, then gently set Anna to the earthen floor.

"I will be back, with Lloyd, if he comes..." Kratos drew an enchanted dagger from his belt. "This will hurt him, not much, but it will hurt him. I will be back as soon as I can." For a moment he held her, she trembled in his grasp, then he drifted away, flew out the caves opening and back into the darkening skies.


	38. reflections

A/N: Three words to describe this fic; Flashback, flashback, and flashback... Oh and finally some Martel Kratos character developement, lots of Kharlan war hintings, I had a ton of fun writing this chap can you tell.

Chaper 38

It was cold, or rather Anna said that as he sat besides her. They had fled the land of eternal winter, had fled to the forests surrounding Ozzete. It was summer there, but in Sylvarant it would have been autumn now. He sighed, took in the golden leaves that made the whole forest sem old. Sunlight fell through the branches, the whole world it seemed was a construct of gold and light. A paradise, a sanctuary, he smiled for the first time in days, savored the feeling of her hands across his back. Lloyd sat by them, his small hands rested on his Daddy's knee while he tried to cloud gaze through the roof of flora above them. Lloyd wasn't having all that much luck with his cloud gazing, but was cheerful enough to point out the occasional cloud he did glimpse.

_Lloyd's eyes were filled with fear, he clung to Noishe so fiercely his hands were white. They lay in an ally, snow and trash providing a shield to the eyes of the world. No one would look their, it was all too logical. He had even passed by a handful of times, refusing to think Noishe would be that harsh to Lloyd. If it had fooled him it was good though, it had been wise. Noishe had not wined, had made no sound to catch Kratos' attention. The seraphim had to see them, and when he did... _

Small hands held small fistfuls of fur, a pale face looked at him, stared at his wings. Kratos had not drawn them in, had been skimming over the Falinor, looking for tracks. Having seen none he had paused, to take in his surroundings, to think, and he had seen just a bit of mussed up snow. One boot print, that had been enough for him to investigate. He had to dig, to physically move aside a few bags of trash to find the small den Noishe had made.

"_Daddy?" _

_"Shh everything is going to be alright now." He bent down, gently loosed his son's death grip on the protozoan. "I'm here, I'll keep you safe, I promise."_

There were no hints of terror, of cold, or any fear on Lloyd now. He seemed secure in the fact that his father was here, with him. He seemed, if it was possible, even more affectionate then ever. But now he had terrors, terrors of falling asleep. Lloyd would not go to sleep unless either his mother or his father stood watch over him. He wasn't the only one having nightmares, Anna too was waking up with horrors, and perhaps if he slept he too would be afflicted with these nightmares. He would never know, sleep being as evasive as ever with him.

"How are you feeling?" He whispered to Anna. With one hand he reached up and caressed her brow, she shielded away from the gesture.

"Well enough, don't worry about me alright?"  
"You look tired." He noted, with one finger he traced one of the rings around her eyes. "Have you been sleeping enough?"

"Yes, though it's been hard lately." She sighed, looked at Lloyd.

Perhaps sensing the scrutiny Lloyd looked at them. He smiled, and Anna managed to smile back. Kratos could not find it in himself to smile, and Lloyd sensing that patted his Daddy's knee. With a gloved hand he reached down and ruffled Lloyd's hair, he knew what it should feel like, but all he could physically feel was a dull tingle. It was almost as if close proximity with Mithos had drained away what bits of his humanity he had snatched back. He wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. Noishe whined, licked him, and again he could only feel that accursed tingle and lingering pressure of water. Not getting the mock wince that he so liked Noishe decided to up the ante. He snatched a mouthful of the seraphim's hair, and jerked his head to the side. Kratos sat for a long moment, looking straight ahead, then with cringing fingers he prodded his hair. It was wet, slimy, and now he had a glob of hair going off in the wrong direction.

"Noishe!"

The protozoan, with a happy bark, ran out of Kratos' range of sight before the seraphim could find his feet. Anna laughed, a breathless laugh that deteriorated into a harsh coughing. The sound made the hair on Kratos' neck prick up.

"Anna, you are sick!"

"No.. no I'm not..."

"You once told me you would never lie to me beloved, do not break that vow now."

Anna winced at his reminder, it had been something they both agreed to during their first flight from Derris Kharlan. No lies, no secrets, never again. They needed to be open with each other. Not only to set a good example for Lloyd but for their own sanity as well.

"Now tell me, are you feeling bad?"

"A little, but don't make any fuss over it Kratos, it's just a cold!"

She had no luck there, he stubbornly waited on her every need for the rest of that day and night. There was no farther travel for a few days as well while they waited for her condition to improve. And it did seem to get better, a little bit anyways. But she never seemed to get all the way back to her full health, they carried on like this for a week and a half before Anna firmly put her foot down.

"Kratos, I am fine! Stop this right now!"

"But..."

"Mommy's mad at Daddy!" Lloyd giggled to Noishe, the protozoan only barked.  
"Oh for the love of all that's holy! Yes I'm a little pale, but it's not important, I feel fine, and I swear sitting here all the time is driving me insane! Now come over here, give me breakfast, and when I'm done eating I'll help you break up camp. And I wont hear another word about it, we are moving on!"

"But..."

"Kratos Aurion, stop worrying about my health, I am fine! I haven't coughed, sniffled, or sneezed in five days, I am better." Kratos' mouth sagged open, he stood frozen, a bowl of porridge in one hand his other hung limply at his side. "Are you going to stand there and let my food get cold?"

"Of.. of course not..." he handed her the bowl.

"A spoon would be nice."

"All right..." He fumbled through their cooking supplies and fished out the last clean spoon. "Are you sure..."

"I. Am. Fine." Anna growled, attacking the porridge as if it had offended her. "Don't make me repeat myself again, or I swear Mithos wont be the only one nursing sore masculinity."

With that threat firmly in mind Kratos fell silent. Lloyd of course started asking him what Mommy meant, Kratos muttered something to the effect of; 'you'll understand when you get older'. Though he was worried to death over her health, Kratos was proud of Anna. She had done something he didn't even think he had the guts to do. On one very small low level he actually felt very sorry for Mithos, it must have hurt what Anna did to him, on all the other levels though... Mithos totally deserved it, it was far too long overdue. If only he had had his Flamberg at that point, he could have finished the whole business, without it's leader Cruxis would have fallen apart. The Desians, no longer having the angels to guild them, would have over stepped their power and humanity would have banned together and overthrown them. That or the Desian's would have destroyed themselves, a fitting end.

Lloyd yawned, stretched, and plopped down by Noishe. The protozoan though got up, padded off, and Lloyd called after Noishe. He was obviously crushed that his closest friend was abandoning him in what would have been their nap time.

"Sorry Lloyd, we are moving on, we wont be taking an afternoon nap."

"Daaaadyy!"

"Lloyd, what have I told you about yelling." Kratos' voice did not go up in volume, but it grew sharp. Lloyd knew that tone, and settled down immediately.

"Sorry..."

"Repeat the lesson."

"Yellin' doesn't get you nothin'..." Lloyd's face was a little sulky.  
"Yes, now stop it, and don't glare at me like that young man."

"Alright..." Lloyd grumbled. "I'm sleepy though."

"We all are." Kratos lied a bit with that. He had no need for sleep, but there was no need to explain that to Lloyd just yet. "If we get as far as I plan to we might find a small stream, I hear the frogs like to be in the streams during Summer."

Lloyd lost all sulkiness, and went to Anna, begging her to hurry up and eat. Anna of course did not hurry, but she encouraged Lloyd's enthusiasm by telling him a story about a small creek by her parent's house that she would frog hunt there every Summer. Lloyd all but bounced off the trees in his enthusiasm, and Kratos groaned into his hand. Now she had done it, Lloyd was hyper with something far more toxic then sugar. Encouragement, Lloyd did not need any more encouragement then was nessicary to live. He had enough confidence and wanderlust for five people, and from his self imposed distance Kratos watched as his son's enthusiasm feed into Anna's restlessness, turned restlessness into wanderlust, then watched as it infected Noishe.

Now they were all talking about frogs, how to catch them, and Noishe was hopping up in down in a manner that Kratos could only define as 'froggish'.

"Daddy did you ever see a frog, a big big frog!"

"Well..." Kratos hesitated, if he told a story it would only fuel Lloyd all the more and drag him into the silliness. He considered for a moment, then sighed. There was no hope for it he guessed. "Not a 'big big frog' it was hmmm about the size of my hand."

Lloyd of course pestered him for more details, as he always did. The seraphim at first grudgingly gave them. All the while he worked besides Anna in taking down the tent, and hiding their campsite. Lloyd seeing they were busy also pitched in, or rather he went to the fire and with Noishe's help proceeded to bury it. That was his job, he loved to dig anyways, and when he was done with that he wandered after his parents picking up small items that they dropped and bringing them to his parents attention. When it looked like they were all done and ready to move on Lloyd began to yet again ask for Daddy's frog story.

Kratos, like every other time gave in to his son. His story wasn't particularly deep, or moving, but Lloyd seemed to like it all the same.

And in the end perhaps that's all that mattered for now.

Natural disaster... that's what it was. He wound up fishing them all from the water. Even Anna dropped her seriousness and tried to frog hunt. They all came back sopping wet, and the seraphim sighed and set them all near the fire. He took some pains to stay downwind of the protozoan. Ancient creature, embodiment of the ages, all that aside he smelled like a wet dog.  
"Noshy icky!" Lloyd protested as the protozoan tried to cuddle up to him as was his nighttime habit.

"Whine?"

Deterred and a bit hurt he went to Anna, his eyes wide and pleading.

"No Noshy, not until your err fragrance has gone away..."

In desperation the protozoan looked to Kratos, a world of begging in his eyes.

"I do not wish to scrub my clothes free of the scent of wet dog Noishe, sit by the fire until the smell is gone."

"Whine?"

"You reek, did you not know that the smell of wet dog is offensive to the human nose? Consider that next time before you go tromp around in a stream."

Noishe growled and slunk to the fire and sat down. He was almost as sulky as Lloyd had been that morning. He growled under his breath and swished his tail as if to swat away the smell so he could go back to being the center of Lloyd's world, well one of the centers. Kratos, Anna and Noishe were the center of Lloyd's world right now, they were the only stabilities, and if anything happened to them... A cold point gathering in his stomach, he could no longer feel nausea, or rather he could not inflict that state upon himself just be fretting. But if he had been fully human he imagined that he might now be suffering from that all too mortal ailment. Anna went to bed not long after dinner, and Lloyd sat with him for a time, not really understanding why his father was so distant. Kratos really didn't even know if Lloyd understood what distant meant, but he imagined that Lloyd understood that something was wrong. Not really knowing how to fix it his boy just sat by his father saying nothing, just offering his presence.

For someone so young he was very perspective at times.

"Lloyd, perhaps you should go in the tent now, I imagine your mother is worried that you've been up so long."

"Un uh." Lloyd wasn't even looking at him now, he was looking at the sky, or what little they could see of it. "I wanna stay up... see stars..."

"You are yawning, I think it's time for someone to go to bed."

"I'm not sleepy..."

"The stars will always be there. You wont miss anything if you go to bed that you wont see tomorrow night."

"Un uh, I'll miss this nights stars! I wanna stay up!"  
"Lloyd," At his father's steely tone Lloyd quieted down. "Your mother is sleeping, we must be quiet."

"Please Daddy, don't make me go to bed... please..."

Kratos winced, he didn't want to refuse Lloyd. It was selfish, but he wanted Lloyd to be with him just a little longer, to be alone with his son. Lloyd though did look tired, and Kratos would not allow Lloyd to get ill due to lack of sleep.

"Go to bed Lloyd, right now."

"But..."

Kratos only glared at Lloyd, it was enough this time. With a "hurmph" his boy crossed his arms over his chest and glared at him. But he did go to bed, he did admit defeat, and it was the lack of a real stubborn refusal from Lloyd that told Kratos his decision was the right one. Alone, well almost alone, Noishe was still sitting by the fire trying to still dry out, Kratos unsheathed his sword. Despite it's fiery appearance the steel was cool enough to place on his knee, his pants did not smolder, or catch a flame. He smiled, a grim smile, to the old weapon. Even after all these years it still felt right to take the hilt in hand. he had been up for what felt a eternity, though it had been only three weeks since his last nap, and much to his chagrin he felt his eyes grow heavy. Between one moment and the next he drowsed off.

_Xxx xxx xxx xxx _

_"K...Kratos what are you doing?" Martel's green eyes were wide in horror as he walked to the corpse of the brigand leader. The dead man was a mix of demon and human limbs, once so majestic and deadly in life he seemed almost laughable now. Kratos kicked aside one of the spidery limbs that covered what had caught his attention earlier on in the duel._

_"Taking what is mine, humans do it a lot half elf, it's called reaping the spoils of a fight."_

_"Kratos... I don't deserve that." _

_"Perhaps." The human shrugged. He was totally indifferent to the woman's prattling, for they were even. He had owed her his life and he had now just irrefutably saved her life. Farther chivalry was now no longer nessicary. Gripping the bloated corpse he managed to roll it over, now he could see it, what he wanted. With a grin he bent down, picked up the crimson colored sword. At his touch orange swirled with the red, fire licked across the edge of the sword, yet was contained by the steel. No, no mere steel held all this power, it was some ancient substance, now long forgotten material lost to time. He smiled, held the blade close to his face, admired his red tinged reflection in the blade. It practically hummed with power this sword, and it was his. After so long and hard a battle, it was his._

_"Kratos... are you alright."  
"I am fine." he pulled his old steel sword, now bent and with numerous nicks in it's edge, and let it fall to the ground. In it's place he sheathed his new weapon. A shame it had no name scrawled on the promel, no insignia on the hilt. If it's style was an indicator of it's crafter that too was long lost to history. He patted the hilt, a grin on his bruised face. "More then fine actually."_

_"Kratos, I don't like that sword, it gives me the chills..."_

_"It is a serviceable weapon, perhaps I will discard it sometime in the future." _

_"But..."_

_He said nothing, only looked at the torched tents, the bodies tossed around like rag dolls. Theron in his transformation had killed several of his men, some had fled. But the rest, those who had been loyal fanatics, they were felled by Yuan and Mithos' magic. The half elven males had been holding those troops off, not with illusion, but true fire and lightning bolts from a nearby hill. Kratos and Martel had pressed ahead, had gone down into the encampment, and had basically watched as the small army ran past them howling in terror as their superior officers became twisted monstrosities. The tents were burning, the cook fires left untended were going to be a hazard soon. Someone should do something about it, Kratos though was not going to be that someone. He ignored the half elven girls prattling and went to one of the pots that had not been up-ended in the flight of those soldiers. Actually to be more accurate it had not been really anywhere near the fighting, so none of their enemies blood had a chance to come into the food. He lifted the shield like cover, and considered the stew with practiced eyes. It wasn't all that bad looking, he decided to be brave and with a finger fished out a bit of meat and popped it into his mouth._

_Not bad... not bad at all, he set himself to looking for a bowl and spoon that wasn't broke, and he found two of each item, and they were clean as well. A nice little bonus. His finds improved his humor somewhat, and he decided to be kind. He filled both bowls and left the one he wasn't going to eat out of by the fire. She recognized the offer, and for once her good sense over ruled her ever obscure morals. She joined him, her moon hued robe shivering around her as she walked. The firelight, he noted, gave the strange unearthly fabric a red halo. Not all that much unlike his new sword._

_"So when are your lazy brother and your husband coming down to deal with all this?" He gestured to the fires that were sluggishly burning. _

_"Yuan? He's not my..." She blushed, and Kratos snorted._

_"As you will... When are Mithos and Yuan re-joining you?"_

_"In two days... they have to make sure that the prisoners in the smaller camp get back to their homes after all."_

_"Of course." Kratos let the mater drop, shoveled a few spoonfuls of stew in his mouth.  
"Kratos... I have a question..."_

_"Mmphh?"_

_"Why are you... are all human's like you?" He ignored her, concentrated on chewing and swallowing. "You're so brave.. but so.. so distant. Are all humans like that, well of course not all... but are most male humans like that?"_

_"I wouldn't know." Kratos considered the dull brown sludge with it's mess of vegetables and meat floating in it. "I am not exactly the most sociable member of my race."_

_"Why is that?" _

_"Are all half elven woman so annoying?"_

_Martel had the grace to blush at that. Any human woman who carried on like her, with all her questions would have been forcibly hushed by now. A shame he didn't quite dare do that to her, but there was Yuan and Mithos to consider. Had they been honest swordsmen he wouldn't have been worried, but magic users were always hard to fight. After this last battle he was not in the mood to fight, certainly not what would be a hard fight, so he'd just keep his peace and steeled himself to endure this woman for two more days. Done with his meal the human stood, his black leather armor creaked as he did so, he absently shifted his sparrow tail cloak, and considered the fires that were now getting a bit more potent. Then without another world he left Martel and went to tend those fires, turning a deaf ear to her protest that she raised about him abandoning her._

_When he returned she had a glare on her face, her foot was tapping, and she took in his dusty form. There was a lake nearby, he could have used water, but to make all those trips seemed tedious, so he had thrown fistfuls of sand on the small conflagrations._

_"Where were you!" Martel snapped at him._

_"Tending to the fires, you didn't want the whole forest to burn down did you?" _

_She had enough sense to wince at that. He ignored her apology, and took his seat by the one fire he had left burning. It had been hard hot work, a shame he could find no wine in the tents that he had searched while he worked. Ah well, his new gald was enough to keep him happy for a while. He got up with a grunt, and decided that after an exertion he would treat himself to half a bowlful of stew, after all work did stir up the appetite. After a long awkward moment Martel sat back down, chagrined by her lack of foresight, but all those half elves seemed to have that problem. It must have something to do with there thin blood lingering in their brains long enough for them to gain any wit._

_"Why do you hate me?" Martel asked in a small voice. He grunted, focused on his food. "Stop ignoring me, I'm here you know!"  
"Do me a favor, go somewhere else then. Oh and don't forget to scream if a monster comes to kill you so I can save you... Or better yet don't scream and save me some trouble."_

_"Ung you humans are all the same!" She stomped a foot and glared at him. "You pig headed, stupid, jerk!"_

_"Is that the only insult you know?" Kratos rose an eyebrow at her, it was another of his subtle barbs, and he inwardly smiled as he saw it hit the mark. Martel went red and sputtered at him. He almost felt sorry for her, she was quite clearly overmatched, he had had much more experience in verbal fighting then she could ever dream._

_"I'm still here, and being nasty about it wont save you from that fact." Martel huffed after she had calmed down a bit._

_"Yes, and in two days you will be gone. Our paths will split, and I will leave you and your kind with a happy heart."_

_"Your kind..." Martel looked sad, stared into the fire, and it was to his disgust he saw tears in her eyes. "You are just like them, you hate us because we were born."_

_"Interracial marriage does have it's set backs doesn't it?" Kratos muttered. "It's a disgusting practice after all, why should the results be any purer then the action itself?"_

_"What, so it's wrong I was ever born!" Kratos ignored her, tried to enjoy his meal. Conversations like this bored him and tended to sour his meal, he was going to enjoy the stew and tone her out... She though wouldn't comply and be quiet. "Is that what your saying! Kratos if I hadn't been born you would have died! All those people, those humans, would have died in that camp! Are you really saying the world would be a better place if monsters like.. like Theron were still around killing your people! Sacrificing them the that.. that thing!" _

_"My life was a mistake." Kratos sighed, now she'd done it, he couldn't eat anymore. With a disgusted growl he slid the bowl away from him. "What am I honestly little girl? My whole mercenary company died, my family is dead, my own people wont take me back because I murdered someone when I was twelve! So your existence, mine, anyone elses', it doesn't mean anything girl._ Life_ means nothing. We live, we die, end of story."_

_"You cried..." She whispered, "when they put that boy on the alter and slashed his throat, you cried."_

_"Shut up!" He whirled on her, his hands clenched into fists. "They are an abomination, you are an abomination, neither you nor those things ever should have come into being!" he sighed, forced himself to calm down. "But they did, just like you, and it is nothing more then farther proof this world has nothing of worth in it."_

_"What about love, isn't that worth something?"  
_

_"Phh don't make me laugh, being in love is just the pretty word they call sex driven youngsters who want nothing more then to roll on the ground with each other."_

_"You." Martel whispered softly. "Are a very stupid man Kratos Aurion." He shrugged off the insult, he'd been called worse. "I'm sorry life has been so hard on you, I'm sorry about you family, your friends, but you should be above that. You should learn from it, use what you have to protect other people. And not because they pay you, but because they can't protect themselves. I saw you around Mithos, you cared for him, you let that archer hit you to save Yuan.. all that, for what, a debt?" She snorted, gave him a knowing smile. "You may hate us, but I think somewhere in that very very thick pig headed skull you care for us, and you know that we aren't any different then you."_

_"Are you going to talk all night? If so then go to the other side of the camp." He snapped, he had left his supplies with the half elven boy Mithos, so he left her yet again to find something that would serve as a mattress. He came back with a mess of blankets for himself, and to make a point he did not fetch anything for her. Then turning his back on the half elf he threw his finds to the ground and wrapped himself up not unlike a caterpillar in a cocoon._

_"Kratos, someday you are going to find out there is a lot more to life then just getting paid and following duty... And when it does I'm going to be so happy for you!" _

_"You accuse me of stupidity!" He growled to the night air. "Here I insult, mock, and abandon you, and you still cling to me. In Origin's name you need to have your head checked!" _

_There was a long pause, then Martel's sweet bell toned voice replied in what must have been false mocking innocence._

_"Kratos, what is an Origin?"_

_"Shut up, lie down, and go to sleep."_

_"Please Kratos, if you know something you have to tell me, that's what traveling companions do!"_

_"What!" He was so surprised he sat up._

_"I knew I'd get back at you! You look so silly when you get surprised!" She laughed at him and with a snarl he grasped the end of the blanket and threw it over his head. "You can't hide forever you know, I'll make you come out of that cocoon if I have to! Yes, I said 'traveling companions', Mithos really likes you a lot. So him, Yuan, and I, got together and we decided you're joining us!"_

_"Volt, strike me down now..."_

_"Why do you keep saying funny stuff like that?"  
"It's complicated..." He growled into the roof of his impromptu sanctuary. "And not thank you, I'd rather take poison then lose my reputation by traveling with half elves."_

_"You already were poisoned as I recalled, so I guess you'll be going with us."_

_"No, never!"_

_"Come on! please!"_

_"No Martel, I make my own path. I'm not saddling myself to your damned ideals, I'm not going off to save the world, it deserves what it gets!"_

_"You don't believe that.. alright fine... we'll pay you... does that make you happy?"_

_"There isn't enough money in the world to make me join you."_

_"Mithos will be sad..."_

_"Let him." Kratos growled, he cursed as he felt her tugging at his makeshift tent._

_"You are coming out right now and talking to me!"_

_"No, leave me alone!"_

_"Fine!" She walked off, and he relaxed for a bit. When she came back he heard a strange sound. A "slosh" punctured by a rattle of a handle... It couldn't be, she wouldn't dare... He clambered to his feet, soaked and cursing. She laughed at him, and gently put the bucket down._

_"You.. I'll kill you..."_

_"You and what army?" She quipped, then she pulled her staff from her belt and raised it in mock attack pose. He glared at her, then despite himself he chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest._

_"You are a stubborn girl, you know that?"_

_"You called me Martel a while back." She tossed her hair to the side then gave him one of her piercing looks. "Keep calling me Martel, it's a sign of respect."_

_"Whatever."_

_She smiled at him as if they were the best of friends._

_"Kratos someday you are going to be happy again, I know it, I get these feelings sometimes and they are never wrong." He shrugged. "So you are coming right?"  
_

_"I will consider." He offered, it was little more then a surface gesture really, he didn't plan on going with them but he didn't want to get soaked again._

_"I knew I was right about you!" She chirped and threw her arms around his neck. He sighed and endured her embrace, not really seeing why Yuan liked it so much. "You still are a little thick." Martel observed as she let him out of her embrace. "but you'll figure it out, and you'll be happy Kratos, so happy, I just know it! You'll have a nice family again and.. and that will be your happiness." He turned to Martel, surprised to see her normally alert eyes glazed, yet still she talked despite appearing to be comatose. "When all the world seems to fall to ruin they will still be with you, in your heart. One will be in the stone that holds your heart, the other will remain at your side for you shall ever be at his..." Martel jerked, then blushed. "I'm sorry I must have just zoned out for a bit..."_

_"That's quite alright, you should probably go to sleep now." He suggested, his eyes were little wild at the sound of that strange voice that had spoken through her._

_"Alright, I'll see you in the morning then!"_

_"Yes, I guess so..."_

_Martel looked over his head and smiled._

_"Look Kratos, isn't it beautiful!"_

_Startled the human turned and looked up. He smiled as well, watched as a flash of light slid across the heavens. It was shortly followed by many other flashes. It was one of the rarest of astrological phenomenon, it was a meteor shower, one that happened every three hundred years. He said nothing, only stood in awe of the falling stars._

_xxx xxx xxx xxx_

"Look Noshy, shooting stars!"

It was a happy squeal, and it was also very loud. With a groan the Seraphim opened his eyes, his cheek had been resting on the flat of the flamberg, and it was lucky for him the blade wasn't as hot as it looked. Or he'd have been short a face by now. His stretched his body out, it had been stooped over and ached a bit. He groaned as his muscles twitched inside of him, not pain precisely... but a warning that he would have been in pain if he stayed like that the whole night. At his soft groan Noishe whined, and Lloyd turned to face him, he was as always perched on the protozoan.

"Uh oh..." Lloyd's face was scared as he waited for his father's ultimatum.

"What..." A flash of light raced across the heavens, Kratos snapped his gaze up and for one moment went tense. The coloring was natural, the time interval as well, Kratos relaxed. Mithos was not deploying an army of angels to hunt them down, not this night anyways. He breathed a sigh of relief, and Lloyd looked at him with a pleading expression.  
His dream, he could still hear Martel's voice, but the words were distant, four thousand years distant, and they receded into the back of his mind with little more then a whisper. Lloyd was looking at him, begging. And yet again Kratos folded, he gave in and showed he was doing so by looking up. He watched as the leaves shadows danced, as the streaks of light would pass through what little of the sky they could glimpse through the holes in the mess of branches and such above their heads. And Lloyd gasped in awe, his eyes wide with a mix of fright and admiration. An impulse seized Kratos, and the seraphim at that point firmly took Lloyd from his perch on the protozoan, and set his son on his shoulders. Lloyd laughed, hugged him, then leaned forward and went back to watching the heavens, as did Kratos. The stayed like that for an hour, until the last of it had long passed, and Lloyd yawned again. The seraphim chuckled, set Lloyd to the forest floor.

"This time, nothing happens." Kratos told his son in a quiet voice. "Now go to bed, I wont say anything to Mommy this time, so hurry up before she realizes you are gone."

Lloyd smiled, and the gesture was so impish that the seraphim knew that Lloyd was well aware he should be in trouble and was getting away with it. Then with that parting smile still on his lips the boy ducked into the Aurion's tent. When Noishe started to go for the tent Kratos firmly grabbed the scruff of the protozoan's neck.

"Oh no, you can't go in, you are far too noisy. Do you want to wake Anna up in the middle of the night?" Noishe wisely shook his head. "Good, I would hate to have to grow you a new skin after Anna was done with you."

Noishe swallowed, then eyed the tent wearily. Kratos gave his oldest friend a swat on the side, then considered the flamberg that he had fallen asleep on. He sheathed the blade, and patted it almost apologetically. There wasn't much left to the night, it seemed safe enough to leave and hunt up some breakfast. With another parting pat to Noishe, the Seraphim walked to the darkest edge of the clearing and drew his wings. It wasn't as painful as if had been all the other times, but then he had been doing this every night for quite a while after all... With one hop he kicked off the ground and glided into the dark forest, his family would need food, their rations were running out. And he would do his best to provide, as always.


	39. happiness

MoonCannon: For your loyalty and praise... thank you for both.

Chapter 39

"I hate flying..." Anna grumbled, as if her words would make Kratos take back what he had just said.

"I am well aware of that, more then well aware." He rolled his shoulder, he always did that when he was nervous. "There have been too many _devine_ visitations in this world, it is time we abandon it."

"Kratos, why don't you just challenge Mithos, call him out, then kick his tail? That's all I want to know before we go through that horrid gate again."

"Defeat Mithos?" Kratos snorted. "You grossly overestimate my abilities beloved. I can not defeat him, all we had going for us last time was the element of surprise. Trust me when I say that that opportunity will never present itself again."

"What if you and Yuan..."

"I thought," Kratos' voice dipped to a growl. "We were not mentioning Yuan again."

"But he defied Mithos, openly, with just a little bit of persuasion..."

"No Anna, we can trust no one." Seeing her ready to argue he gently took her hands in his. "My love, he will not cherish your life as I do, he would cast it aside in a moment's notice to gain an edge." Tenderly he lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them. "Lloyd, you, mere pawns on his board, and he would not hesitate to cast you aside. Just be brave one last time my love, this hopefully will be the last time we fly in quite a while."

"But I like Tethe'alla..." It was a mock pout, and he knew it.

"Who said it was too boring here with nothing left to explore?"

"I don't know who dear."

"No more lies my love." Kratos then kissed her lips, kept his wings in though the ached to come out every time he so much as touched Anna. he meant to keep the gesture short, but Anna had other ideas. When they at last pulled apart Kratos took several deep breaths, from what felt to be a world away Lloyd was dragging out the word "eww" to new lengths.

"Boys," Anna snorted, snuggling more into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder, looked behind them at something he couldn't see. "Lloyd, breathe every once in a while."

Their son gasped, having worn out his small lungs with his prolonged cry of disgust. Kratos chuckled, just held Anna. She seemed to want to be held a lot before they went flying. It wasn't something he minded all that much, but her ploy was transparent as glass. With one final kiss to her cheek he broke their embrace up by stepping out of it.  
"Mrs. Aurion, you are stalling. On the Rheaird, now."

"I am not your dog!" She snapped at him.

"I never said you were, nor was my manner deliberate in making you feel like one." He grimaced, she was spoiling for a fight, anything it seemed to keep from having to fly again. "We don't have time for this. Mithos might already have guards over the path between the worlds, not's let give him time to set up an army over the gate."

"Come on Mommy, flying's fun!"

"You paid him to say that didn't you?"

"No, he seems to like it all on his own." Kratos grinned.

"What am I going to do with you two?"

"Get a ladder. You'll need one to help him down from of trees, roofs, mountains, and just about everything that is more then three feet off the ground."

"Damn it..." She sighed leaning into his chest, and when she looked at him he could see the terror in her eyes.

"I will keep you safe I promise."

"I," She mock hit him, "don't need some man to come and save me. As I recall I had to save you from that twirp."

"He is rather twirpish isn't he?" Kratos agreed, "Whenever he draws his wings I expect a gale to kick up and send him flying, much like a kite." She looked up at him and smiled.

"Was that a joke?"

"Perhaps."

"You need to work on the punch line a little better, your delivery was clumsy."

"Punch line?"

"Never mind, let's get this over with..."

"Yah, we're gunna fly Noshy!"

Noishe looked about as thrilled about flying as Anna did.  
He managed to get Anna and Lloyd through the gate, it was when he was making the last trip, to deposit Noishe, that he saw it. Cursing he set the Rheaird to autopilot and left the whining Noishe to take the skies. He drew his flamberg, then flapped up to the angel who hovered by the gate. When they were the same height, and some distance from each other Yuan held up both his hands. He held no weapon, he had no power flickering around him prepped for an attack. They hovered, the swirling colors of the twisted reality served as their backdrop.

"I saw nothing today and I see nothing in the future." Yuan called to him over the winds and the muffled howls of shattered world.

Kratos only nodded, it was a stiff nod, but it conveyed his gratitude.

"Kratos... as if this means anything now... I give you my blessings on your child and wife. If this world were a better place I would have been happy to be a Godfather to my soul brother's son."

"If this world were a better place... It is not this world that is flawed Yuan, it is the beast running it."

Both of Yuan's eyebrows went up in shock. Kratos had defied Mithos fully now, deed, thought, and word.

"I imagine I wont be attending the next meeting on the Regeneration journey." Kratos' lips curled in a dark smile. "Take care of yourself, and tell Mithos to watch his back."

"And how will I tell him that if I didn't see you?"

"I imagine you can get away with telling it to him as I run him through a few times."

"Perhaps when I have some leisure time." Yuan smiled, it was his first smile in a very long time. "I will pay you and your family a friendly non-business visit. Take care Kratos, next time the gate will be under guard of some lesser angels, not myself, I am supposed to of course be searching for you... I imagine my spies and the like will grow rather lazy on the Sylvarant side, I might even take a few decades off to redecorate my ranch and ignore what reports gather on my desk. The first floor does need most of it's steel replaced after all."

"Of course," Kratos' lips twitched at Yuan's tone, it was almost like old times. With a salute Kratos went back to Noishe, the protozoan yowls and whines were enough that if Kratos had been totally blind he could have found the Rheaird and the terrorfied creature who rode in it. He sighed, re aligned the ship with the gate, and hit the accelerator. Noishe, with a heartfelt whimper bit down on Kratos' shoulder just as they hit the gate.

He sat by a fire, Lloyd lay on his side, small limbs twitching as he fell in the grasp of a dream. Noishe lay curled around him, his much larger limbs were twitched as he was in the same situation. It was a miracle really. Not one of Noishe's paws had smacked Lloyd hard enough to wake him, and none of Lloyd's twitching limbs had rubbed the protozoan into wakefulness. Anna sighed, then applied the bandage to her husband's newest wound.

"I never thought those little teeth could get so sharp."

"Little?" Kratos grimaced as he tried to move his shoulder, Anna smacked him, and he went still.

"I know this will heal in a day or so, but lets not push it, alright?"

"Fine," Kratos winced as she poured disinfectant on his shoulder. "Pain..." he managed to gasp.

"Oh stop whining you big baby." She kissed his bare unwounded shoulder. "There, all done." Her hands then ran along his back, kneaded away some of the tenseness. He grunted, then obligingly lay down as ordered. She went to work on some of the more serious spots, he closed his eyes, basked in her gentle care. "Better now?" her hand slid across his back, two digits tip toed to a particular point between his shoulder blade.

"Don't you dare." He growled into the half frozen dirt.

"Dare what?" She applied pressure to particular point with perfect precision... in short she 'dared'. He could feel her hands fast at work on a different part of him. Kratos snarled, and considered his wings were getting the better end out of his marriage. As if to agree they flapped a bit without him ordering them to. "You've been working them all day, I imagine they are as tense as the rest of you."

"My wings are not physically attached to..."

"Really?" Her hand strayed to the base of his smallest wing, and after a long moment Anna applied some pressure to part of his back. The small wing shivered, and he felt a twing in his spine that was very discomforting. "They seem rather connected to me, they respond when your back moves, I've seen you shrug with them out and they respond to how your back bunches up... How's that not connected?"

He lifted his head, turned to face Anna and she looked up from her petting.

"How did you know to do that? To touch at that spot?"

"I used to watch birds flying when I was little, I just made an educated guess."

"Anna," Kratos lost his train of thought as her hand slid across his more prominent pair of wings. A familiar humming was coming from his wings, he mentally groaned, there was no way he could draw them in now. "I know you are lying. Where you lived there were no birds that had wings like mine, no specie of bird has ever had a wing similar structure to my own. Now Anna, the truth..."

"I... I don't know, it's been like this for a while I guess." She smiled, went back to her petting. "I just know if it helps you or not before you say anything." It was hard to think, to manage any coherent thought around the waves of pleasure that each touch roused in him. He gave up for a while, just enjoyed how her skillful hands slid across each wing. He wasn't drowsing, he last unintentional nap had probably been his last for the next few months, but his mind did wander a bit. "It's strange, I guess that's the only word for it. Sometimes I know what you are going to say before you say it, other times I know when your in pain, or are brooding... or when your happy. It's not as often as you liked me to think, but now that I know that I'm going to do my best to make sure you stay happy."

"My happiness." Kratos whispered. "Is in your and Lloyd's safety, in both of you having some joy in your lives. I think it has been too long for me to actually remember how to make myself happy, I stopped trying because it seemed impossible."

"We'll have to work on that." Anna snapped with pure fire in her voice. At her angry tone Kratos jerked, pain ran across his back as her patient massaging was undone due to his surprise. She said nothing for a while, her hands went back to work and his body relaxed. Sunlight drifted from the gentle filter of the pine tree branches. The world for a few moments was tinged gold, and it lay golden highlights across his night blue wings. Anna smiled for a moment, admired the golden sheen that ran across her husband's back and tinted her hands. She smiled, shook her head and let her brown hair catch the light. Kratos stirred underneath her, she looked and was surprised to see him regarding her with such tender love in his eyes. "I think that's the saddest thing I've ever heard anyone say beloved, you stopped trying to be happy because it seemed impossible. It's all been about duty and honor hasn't it? All of it, well before me and Lloyd, then honor took a kind of second place... And don't you dare tense up on me again, that wasn't very pleasant to experience."

"If I have you and Lloyd I need nothing else."

"And if you lose us, then what?"

"I wont let it happen."

"Oh Kratos... you know we will grow old and die before you." He tried to respond, but she put a hand on his primary pair of wings and he lost his thought. "This is useful," her grin was positively evil, "very very useful."

"Traitors.." Kratos grumbled to his wings, they merely flapped again against his will.

"Did you say something dear?"

"...Nothing, I said nothing."

"Good, you need to learn how to be happy on your own beloved." She leaned into his wings, and she laughed softly as their humming turned into a purr. "You have to learn how to laugh at the little things, to enjoy them."

He grunted, squirmed as much as his shoulder would allow. He was just grateful it hadn't been his sword arm that had taken the bite. If it had been they'd be short a protozoan.

"This is serious! Don't you dare ignore me!"

"Yes dear."  
"And don't 'yes dear' me! You're worse then Lloyd when you get sulky you know that!"

"And you are louder then Lloyd when you get angry." Kratos grumbled, he then stared pointedly at their sleeping son. Anna's hands went still for a moment, and he sighed. "I did not mean to be harsh, the topic isn't one I enjoy."

"You don' like talking about happiness? Do you know how wrong that sounds?"

"Do I care?"

"You should!"

"Anna," He mentally groaned, they had come to one of those awkward discussions and revelations. "I have been alive for over four thousand years, reputation, status, wealth, none of that means anything. After all I have seen, it is very hard to take pleasure in the 'little things' as you term it, and when I do it's only a passing humor, not true happiness. My senses are either dulled or sharpened, so much so I see the world in a different way then you ever could, add my longevity into that..." he sighed. "Because of everything I am not happy. I had the rather dubious pleasure of watching all my friends grow old and die, my family died while I was but a child, what few friends I retained after my transformation... one is insane and the other totally loyal to a hopeless cause. I have seen the fall and rise of nations Anna, the whole world has buck and heaved around me, writhed with change, yet it's never complete, and because of that it all falls apart. I guess... In the end it comes down to perspective. I've seen too much to ever really take happiness in anything but my family." He smiled a grim little smile. "I guess despite my form I am just a bitter old man."

"Kratos," Anna's hands trembled, her breath touched the back of his neck, then her lips followed. "I promise you wont be like this forever, I wont let it."

He said nothing, only went back to savoring the sensations that only her hands could rouse when they brushed against his wings.


	40. doubts

Chapter 40

The dessert trek was brutal. Lloyd suffered so much. He had tried to be brave for them; he tried to hide the tears, the pain. Kratos' heart twisted in him as he recalled the faltering steps, the soft grunt as small knees hit the sun baked earth. Lloyd looked at them with tear filled eyes and a smile forced on his lips. Though he bleed from his scrapped knees he smiled at them, pulled himself to his feet, and tried to go on. Frozen in horror Kratos and Anna had done nothing, the seraphim was first to snap back to reality, he had fumbled through their packs while Anna had pulled Lloyd into her lap. Seeing the bottle of 'stingy stinky stuff' as he had once called it Lloyd had protested, said his "ouch" wasn't that bad. Kratos had ignored his son's words, poured a generous amount of tonic on the scrap of cloth and advanced on his protesting boy.

"Daddy, it doesn't... Owwie! Ouch!"

The tears had fallen at that point, he cried as his boy's cut stung him. It ripped at Kratos' heart; it ripped him to shreds to have to cause Lloyd pain. But better this now then an infection later.

"I can walk!" Lloyd had whined as he was put on the protozoan's back. "It's too hot to ride Noshy Mommy!"

"Hush Lloyd, it won't be for long..."

Anna's voice shook and she stared at her son's skinned knees as if transfixed by the wound. How right they were. The heat was killing Lloyd, was wearing his energy down to nothing. He began to mutter about seeing water; his eyes had the glazed look of someone under the influence of mirages. Kratos and Anna had not even discussed it, they gave the last of the water to Lloyd, and it did bring him back for a little while. A handful of hour later his small hands went limp, he started to slip off of the protozoan's back. Noishe's shrill bark made Kratos whip around; he was barely able to catch his son before he hit the ground.

"Kratos, is he alri- The familiar silver blue light that whispered around her husbands hands was enough to tell Anna that Lloyd was not alright. She stood in the heat, forced her head to stop throbbing and ordered her churning stomach to settle down. She could not get ill as well, Lloyd and Kratos needed her. As the light faded away Anna was surprised to see Lloyd's clothes were wet, as a matter of fact it looked as if he had been wetted down. Kratos sighed, opened his dark eyes, then shifted his wet boy in his arms and looked at her. She could see black rings under his eyes that hadn't been there a moment before.

"Worked outside my primary element." Kratos explained, his vague words left her even more confused, but she nodded. That was a mistake, the pain in the back of her head got worse. But then he was so tired from his spell casting that he failed to notice her pain. They continued onward, walked through the whole day and night to the forests' that surrounded Iselia. In the shadows of the trees they found solace from the scalding sands. After a bit of searching they stumbled on a small lake. Kratos set up the tent, boiled some water in a pot with mana born flames, and tended everything as his drained family only sat and panted in the shadows. Anna said nothing, went to the lake and did all she could to cool down. Unlike all the times before Lloyd did not protest over his bath, and he eagerly drank the warm water that his father offered him. They were all quiet, having skirted on the edge of dehydration and ultimately death Anna was humbled by the experience. Lloyd was only tired, he went to bed the second they let him. It was only when Lloyd was asleep that the seraphim saw the state of exhaustion that his wife was in; she protested that she was up to staying awake just a bit longer. Kratos firmly ordered Anna to bed. He went so far as to threaten her with magic induced sleep if she said another word. It was with a grumble that Anna allowed herself to be carried to the tent and tucked in like an over large child.

Xxx xxx xxx

"Daddy, oomph!"

Lloyd fell from Noishe's back. His small form hit the gravely road and rolled. A roar, a beast's roar of triumph cut through the night air. A claw had gotten lucky, snagged the belt around Lloyd's waist and pulled him from Noishe's back. Anna screamed, the protozoan growled, angled his paws so he could kick of one of the passes' walls and turn around. Kratos panted out a curse as he ran alongside the protozoan, he snarled at Noishe to keep running, and turned to look at the scene.

Damn it they only needed to get over this hill, the monsters didn't dare cross into Efreet's Forge day or night.

Another oath fell from his lips as he turned around and drew his blade. He could hear his boys screams of panic, could see the drag marks. _No Lloyd, you can't die, I won't allow it_! He didn't even feel the pain, only was aware of the silver blue light that illuminated the path around him. He followed the drag marks, followed the sound of panting and shrieks of terror. He scrambled up the steep hill, crested the top and looked down to see a massive brown thing with scythe claws trying desperately to shake Lloyd off of its' paw. Somehow by sheer luck Lloyd's belt had gotten snagged and the monster wanted to free its' paw first before eating. With a sharp snap of its wrist the monster flicked Lloyd off, Lloyd went flying and landed with a whimper. "No, no you will not take my family from me, no one will!" The beast snapped it's eyes up to him. So small, mere slits on is shaggy face... It lifted its toothy muzzle and answered his roar with a roar of its own. Other shadowy creatures, lesser monsters, scavengers, hung back just out of the range of his enhanced vision. They were good at what they did; they recognized another predator when they saw it, and waited for the upcoming killing to be done so they could feast. The beast roared at him, it's brown fur black in the night, its' massive hand like paws reached for him, even as its' short stubby feet pushed it forward. Its' long sword digits snapped together, the rasp of claw on claw was similar to the sound of steel on steel. Any other man would have been daunted, would have been terrified.

He was not "any other man" however.

"No one hurts my family" Kratos whispered, his flamberge flared to life in his hand as the blade responded to his rage.

The monster growled, gripping the rocky earth with its' fore paws the beast threw itself forward. Its' smaller hind legs scrambled, sent a rain of gravel behind it. It drooled now, looked at him as it would any other human foolish enough to challenge its' might. He lifted his blade in mock salute, then not one to keep a foe waiting Kratos ran down the hill. One paw reached for him, to pull him into a vice of death. Kratos growled, whipped his sword around and the beast staggered back. It looked dumbly at three of its fingers fell under the force of the swing. For a long moment it looked at its one disfigured paw, than it looked to him. Hate burned in its sunken eyes. Had it any sense it would have run, it would have seen the pure hate in Kratos' face and turned tail and bolted. The other paw snapped around, Kratos seeing the massive shoulder tense knew the strike was coming. He welcomed it, welcomed the fact that the monster seeked it's own destruction. This time he plunged his blade into the beasts shoulder, and wrenched his sword side to side. It howled, blood splurted from the wound, but stubbornly the monster brought its whole paw around. Kratos grunted under the hit, his smaller frame went flying into the natural wall. He shrugged off the hit, and showing no sign of pain from a blow that would have rendered anyone else comatose calmly regarded his sword still stuck in the monster's shoulder.

It was a vulking inconvenience, but not a dangerous one.

He pulled a dagger from his boot, threw. He watched in satisfaction as the beast brought both its arms up to slash at it's face. The dagger that was neatly embedded in it's right eye wasn't going anywhere however.

"Powers of earth and dark hear the cries of this soul whom has not yet scumbled to eternal slumber! Hear their cries along with my own! Open wide the earth, render them unto their true reward Grave!"

A shard of earth rose, slammed into the beasts stomach and slid through the thick pelt with the ease of a well cast spear. The monster staggered back a step; its entrails were wrapped around the multiple ridges that marred the stone. It managed all of a step before another shard ripped form the earth and impaled it neatly in the back. The tip of the stone poked out around the vicinity Kratos presumed its heart was. Again and again the beast was impaled; it all but fell apart under the onslaught. If he had cared any he would have called in the shards, would have set them back to the earth so not to permanently scar the ground. He didn't really give a rat's ass about that though, not right now.

Forsaking sword and knife Kratos went to his son, bent down and with a trembling hand felt at Lloyd's throat. A drop of blood fell from his hands' ran his boys cheek like a tear, trembling Kratos set his boy in his lap, and gently felt the left side of his son's throat. There was a pulse! Thank God there was a pulse under his hands! Lloyd moaned, his eyes fluttered open and he looked at him in confusion. Kratos felt his wings flick and he coughed and sheathed them. He hadn't meant Lloyd to see them quite yet

"Daddy, you're hurt!"

"I'm fine Lloyd, so long as I have you I am fine"

He knelt then wrapped his boy in a hug and wept.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

I'm a horrible Father, a horrible Husband. If I had any soul I would just leave them alone, Mithos wouldn't hunt them if I wasn't around, they could have a normal life with me out of it. They would be safe, they would be...

"Whine?" Noishe had somehow padded up behind him, he was looking at the seraphim with his expressive eyes. He then knelt, set his head on Kratos' lap and closed his eyes.

"Did I do the right thing Noishe, did I make a mistake with all of this? I've caused them so much pain, I've hurt them." Against his will, it seemed, the seraphim found himself stroking Noishe's massive head. "Every time we have to move on because of me they get hurt. Lloyd isn't having a normal childhood. Because he lives like this he will never have any friends. Anna. Gods above, what pain have I caused her? All I do is make them suffer! They bleed for me Noishe, they die for me every day! I can't take this! I never should have done?"

"Grrr!" Noishe showed him his impressive fangs and the seraphim started in shock. "Whine, whine, Bark!"

"I don't talk dog Noishe." Kratos snapped in his irrational anger. He started to push the protozoan off of him but Noishe stiffened, he dug his paws in and Kratos could only move him by causing pain. Satisfied that Kratos was done fighting him Noishe set his head on his master's lap and looked at him with his heart in his eyes. "You act like you have all the answers Noishe, yet you can't tell me, what Hell your life must be."

"Whine." Noishe shook his head.

"You're telling me that your life isn't bad? I've lived four thousand years my friend, and all it feels like is an extended funeral."

"Bark!" Hearing the note of warning Kratos turned, and saw Lloyd stumble out of the tent. Lloyd yawned, rubbed his eyes with a chubby hand, and stretched. Seeing his Daddy and Noishe he smiled, tried to say something, but was interrupted by another yawn that almost cracked his jaws. Though having been treated with arcane and none arcane measures Kratos could pick out the faint burses from that past week's tumble and fight; could still see the signs of fading dehydration. They had decided to stay at the lake a few days, for all of them to fully recover.

Lloyd looked at his Daddy and saw his sad face.

He saw Noishe sitting by Kratos. And he put it together in the wrong way.

"Bad Noshy, don't bite Daddy!"

"Whine?" Noishe looked a bit hurt at the accusation.

"Lloyd, hush, your mother is sleeping, like you should be."

"Nosy barkin' woke me up." Lloyd grumbled, giving Noshy a nasty look. "Daddy, Momma said you should be sleepin'."

"Daddy will come to bed when he is tired Lloyd. That is one of the nice things about being an adult; we get to make our own bedtimes."

"Daddy," Lloyd squirmed, he was struggling to put something together in his mind. "Daddy, what was that shiny thingy I saw? You don't have it now."

"What shiny thing, my sword? You've seen my sword plenty of tim-" Noishe smacked Kratos with a paw.

"Bad Noshy!" Lloyd scolded, waving a small finger at the protozoan. The sight almost made Kratos bust out into laughter. Noishe was a great deal taller then Lloyd, one snap of those jaws could probably kill his son, but there was Lloyd wagging a finger at him and Noishe was flinching like a bad school boy.

"Lloyd, that's enough, Noishe is just a little mad at me because we were having a disagreement."

"Desagurmud?" "No, disagreement." God's where would Lloyd be if he wasn't here to correct his pronunciation. No one would understand him! "We were having a word fight."

"Oh," Lloyd looked sad at that. "Are you done?"

"We are."

Noishe's growl said louder then words that they weren't.

"Stars are out." Lloyd noted, craning his neck back to look at the sky.

"They always come out every night." Kratos smiled slightly, tried to push his earlier thoughts to the back of his mind, they weren't cooperating though. "Lloyd, I have a question." Seeing those eyes, so much like his own snap on him he almost lost his train of thought. "When we go to own and you see all those other children? Do you ever want what they have; do you ever get lonely or sad because we move around so much?"

"Nope."

"Really?" Kratos' intense gaze made Lloyd flush.

"Sometimes." Lloyd whispered, looking back at the tent as if he was scared Mommy would come out and get mad at him.

"Lloyd, have you talked about this with Anna... Umm Mommy already?"

"Yeah..." Anger stirred in him, but he kept it off of his face out of his voice. "What did she tell you about this?"

"I asked Momma if why we moved a big lot was cuz you're special. Momma said no, tha' was part of it but no everytin'. I asked I we could make you un-special, if that'd make the bad people stop botherin' us."

"And?"

"Momma said no. Momma said that the bad people thought she was special too, and they couldn't make her un-special cuz she'd get really sick and maybe die."

Ice slid into Kratos' soul. He and Anna were over due for a long talk.

"Momma wasn't happy that I got sad 'bout wantin' to live one somewhere lots." Lloyd admitted the last with a bright blush on his face; he looked at his father with such a pathetic expression that Kratos felt tears smart in his eyes.

"Lloyd, what you felt isn't wrong, it is only normal. I'm not mad, and I don't love you any less because you feel like this." Kratos had to reassure his son. He knew what it felt like to be unloved, how he had in his youth mistook his mother's spats of frustration as a lack of love. It was only when his own father had entered his life did he learn the difference. He did not want Lloyd to go through that, not even for a second.

"Mommy got mad."

"Mommy is a strange woman." Kratos said with a snort. "Don't tell her I said that, she'd cook tomato soup for a week if she knew I said that."

"Tomatoes, ick!"

"Ick indeed." Kratos closed his eyes, he could not look his son in the face while he asked this last question. "Lloyd, if Mommy and I were to leave you at Syt's for a year or so, would you mind? You could live somewhere lots for a bit while Mommy and I deal with the bad people. And when we came back we'd move just one more time, and that would be it."

"No!" Lloyd flared; Kratos was shocked to see tears in his boy's eyes. "I don' want you to go anywhere. Don't leave Daddy please don't!"

"Of course not, it was just an idea of mine." Noishe bit him as if to say it was a bad one.

"Noshy, bad!" Noishe whinned, looked at Lloyd with hurt in his eyes.

"I love Noshy but don't bite Daddy 'K?"

"Bark!" Noishe's tail wagged frantically.

"Silly Noshy." Lloyd walked up to them, and sat by his father and looked at the stars. He put his hand over his fathers' and gently lifted it up. Kratos allowed this, confused and wanting to see where Lloyd was going with this. "Autumn star there." Lloyd pointed to the west horizon. "Winter star there." Lloyd pointed with his father's hand to the red star that was just peaking over the horizon. "Mithos going bye-bye. Kratos coming out!" "Yes," Kratos' voice caught in his throat.

"I guess you can look at it like that." "Daddy's star right there," Lloyd instructed firmly, he pointed again at the red star with both their hands. "Red star, winter star..."

"You are becoming quite the expert." Kratos whispered.

"I remember everything Daddy taught me!" Lloyd hugged his father, but there was desperation, a pain, to the old gesture. He was trying to hide it but Lloyd was such a bad liar. Once Kratos too had been a bad liar, necessity had made him a good one over the centuries.

"Lloyd, I am sorry, I never meant to hurt you."

"That's OK!" Lloyd looked at him as if wanting to ask another question.

"What is it Lloyd?"

"Daddy, the sparkly thing, what was it?"

"I'll tell you when you are older."

Noishe growled, then yalped in shock when Lloyd smacked him on the snout.

"Noshy, be nice!"

"Lloyd, that was uncalled for, apologize."

"Sowy Noshy."

"That is a little better, never hit anyone, ever, no mater how bad they are. You only hit people who are going to hurt you, and that's only if you can't get to me or your mother safely."

"Yes Daddy."

"Next time you hit anyone you will be spanked, understand?"

"Yes Daddy."

"Good, you should probably go to bed, you look tired."

"I'm not sleepy!"

"Lloyd..." Kratos rose an eyebrow and Lloyd sighed, he knew that tone and expression, he also knew that he would get spanked if he argued with it too much. That didn't stop him from trying however.

"Five more minuetes?"

"No."

"But..."

"To bed with you,now!"

"Aww..."

"And don't drag your boots all the way back to the tent or you'll be scrubbing them in the morning."

"Yes sir." Kratos snorted, crossed his arms in front of his chest as Lloyd did drag his feet to the tent and kicked up a great deal of dust. Kratos would make Lloyd scrub those boots, they were overdue anyways. Noishe yawned, looked at the tent longingly then looked at Kratos. "Go on, you need sleep too you know." Noishe whined, licked the seraphim's face, then went inside after Lloyd.

There was a moment's peace. You could hear the wind sighing through the branches, the calls of crickets. All was peaceful, silent, yet alive in it's silence. It all lasted for five seconds.

"Noshy!"

"Wha- Noishe, out! Now! Don't you dare take that, those are my blankets!"

"Noshy Noshy Noshy!" A clap punctured each recitation of the protozoan's nick name.

"Lloyd, please be quiet, Mommy's sleeping. Or rather she was... Don't you dare kick me out of my blankets! I was sleeping here first! No, don't lie there you're kicking Lloyd!"

"Noshy fuzzy soft!"

"Off! No, not on my legs, I want to have legs in the morning! Ouch, don't sit their, do you think I want that in my face!"

"Noshy funny!"

"Sweet Martel, my legs are not a bed, get off! Kratos, help!"

"Night night Noshy! Night night Mommy!"

The temptation was too strong to resist.

"Good night Lloyd, Noishe, sleep well dear."

"Mr. Aurion you will be having tomato soup for a month you hear me, a month!"

"Ick tomatoes!" "Don't you dare take his side on this Lloyd! Help mommy a bit try to get Noshy off of her."

"Bark!"

"Un uh, Daddy said not to."

Oh great... just great...

"A year, you hear me Kratos? A year!"


	41. Forever ends

A/N:

WARNING looong chapter and exhausted/hyper/giddy author-ess! Yeah I know the ending isn't exactly as it is in the game, a very large hint that there is even more to come.. Or rather a little more. I figure a few people who are reading this story and "Shards" will actually see a very strong link between this chapter and a cryptic nightmare scene in my TOS in game re-write. Yes these storys are interconnect, yes I'm am grossly sleep deprived (stupid cats/college) and yes I will eventually be quiet, I've written well over 400 pages I think I'll take my overdue long rant a little early... Before anyone who's finished pounces on me about the ending bare in mind I still haven't thrown in my final twist, don't worry the story will link up with what Kratos tells Lloyd in Falnoir, just not in the sense most expect...

Well this is the beginning of the end, in my notes there will be five more chapters then that's it DES is over. I'm torn between being grateful and being sad and I honestly can't make my mind which to feel right now. I think I'm leaning more towards sad... after all I've been stalling for several chapters on getting around to the end... not only the end of... Well everyone knows how it's supposed to end. But I think I have one surprise up my sleeve yet... Yes one good surprise and one twist that will bring this story's ending home all the harder, but that's for you guys to read and discover. Thank you for holding out so long, for letting me tell this story, and for your support all through this long long tale. While undoubtably sad hopefully the ending will be fulfilling.

Next reviewers gunna be reviewer 100... Lol I'm guessing MoonCanon will be that one.. Now then to respond to recent reviews then to the point...

FairyV: Highlander-ish? I wouldn't know, I vaguely recall a TV show by that name but since I don't watch all that much... If you think Mithos is a toad I think your opinion of him will drop farther. I'll let you figure that one though.

Homicidal Snowbunnies: You know I'm curious, where did you get that name? Now to answer that question, yes I am old enough to write, younger people then me _have_ been published but I'm not ready to do that. I'm waiting until after college is done before I even try again (yeah I tried and got rejected a few times... happens) And for spell check, I'm slowly going through all my old chapters and changing them, when I have a ton of time I will start swapping them in a massive edit spree. Maybe during the winter holiday... I'll have plenty of time then...

Paint Burner: Almost missed your review, well thanks so far and don't worry it's winding down now.

ArkNavy: Yeah I like to do that now and then, keeps readers on their toes. _Evil grin_.

And now to the story...

Chapter 41

"Forever" ends

Morning Daddy!" Lloyd chirped, tackling him, or rather trying. He was getting better at this, he must have been taking notes from Noishe. Kratos grunted, cracked an eye open, and eased his son off of his belly.

"Lloyd, what has Daddy told you about jumping on his stomach?"

"That it's bad?" Lloyd leaned on his father, looked at him with a warm smile on his lips. "But Mommy said it was good!"

"Well Mommy..."

"Is what Mr. Aurion?"

"Ahh... we'll talk about it later Lloyd."

"You better not!" Anna's voice drifted to him from the light of the outside world.

In the safety and false night of the tent Lloyd giggled and hugged his father. Kratos smiled, decided that being a little lazy wouldn't hurt anything. He stroked his son's hair. It was as wild and untamed as was both his parent's hair, as soft as silk, and showing hints of needing a trim. Closing his eyes Kratos sighed, listened to his son's heartbeat to the rattle and clack of pot and spoon tapping together and the faint crackle of fire. From perhaps the other side of the clearing he heard a yawn, a grunt, and a sleepy mumble.

"Well look who's up!"

"Bark!"

"Breakfast is ready and Lloyd and Kratos are being a pair of slugs, go get them Noshy!"

Bark!" Pure glee was in the protozoan's voice.

"Lloyd..." Kratos nudged his son, who was starting to drift off in his father's protective embrace. "Wake up a bit..."

"Wasn' sleep'n..." Lloyd grumbled, small brown eyes focused on him, or as much as they could considering they were half glazed.

"Of course, come on. Before Noishe poun-"

The tent flap flew open and a massive silver and green blur flew in.

The tent's mail support pole was nudged, and that was enough, with a sigh the tent fell on itself. Three forms thrashed for a bit, then the largest of them "pounced" on the second largest. The smallest cried out for Noishe and Kratos, or rather "Noshy" and "Daddy" all the while crawling on it's hand and knees.

Laughing Anna found her feet, went to the edge that the smallest form was right by and lifted the canvas. A small brown head poked out and dark eyes focused on her.

"Mommy! It's not dark anymore!"

"No it's not..." Anna frowned at the large mass of movement, or rather at the mass that was cursing in Angelic. "Noishe that's enough playing, come on... Out, both of you, your breakfasts are getting cold."

A auburn haired head poked out from the mess of fabric.

"And what are we having?" Kratos sniffed the air tentatively, as if in fear of what might be in that pot sitting by the fire.

"Breakfast, what else?"

"Anna, is that scent what I think it is?"

"If you're thinking breakfast, yes, it's breakfast."

"No, what I'm thinking is tomatoes."

"Well you were bad last night so..." Anna went to the pot and lifted the cover to reveal a mess of bubbling red.

Lloyd turned a shade of green, and Kratos widened his eyes in not-so-mock horror.

"I believe I will be making a strategic retreat now..."

The seraphim ducked under the canvas. Anna caught Lloyd by the seat of his pants before the boy could run off with his father.

"Noshy, if you would?"

"Bark!"

There was a struggle, a curse, the sound of ripped fabric and an even louder curse. The downed tent buck and heaved, as one lump under the canvas tried to run-or rather crawl- away. It was soon over matched by the larger lump. There was another scuffle, a growl that came from a human throat, then the large lump went to the edge of the tent carrying _something, _a very large and protesting something. A green head poked out, and then after another conflict Noishe came out from under the tent holding Kratos by the seat of his pants. The seraphim was glaring bloody daggers at his wife, though the effect was dampened by his inelegant position. Kratos' wild auburn hair lightly brushed against the dusty ground as he was carried upside down by his _dog_. The seraphim's powerful arms were crossed, and his face was a brilliant crimson.

Lloyd laughed, he laughed so hard he fell over clutching his side.

If at all possible Kratos' face went even redder.

"Oh my..." Anna's eyes danced with glee as she spotted the massive hole in the seraphim's pants. "You poor thing.. I almost feel sorry for you."

"Put me down!"

Noishe complied, dropping the angry ex-member of Cruxis.

Grumbling curses the seraphim found his feet, rubbed his head, and glared at Noishe. No sympathy there, Noishe's tail was wagging madly and he promptly rolled on the ground feet flailing, a sound suspiciously like laughter coming from between his fangs. Kratos stormed to his packs, upended them and grabbing the first set of clothes that he saw then stormed out of the clearing.

The overall effect was massively dampened by the patch of white that they could see from the huge gash in his pants.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Today the Gods have made me feel the sharp edge of their humor."

"I think it makes you adorable."

"I am not adorable!" Kratos flared, then he rubbed at his face and sighed. "I am sorry, I shouldn't yell at you but..."

Kratos, you've had more scares today then I can think of. First with Noishe waking you up like he did then with Lloyd deciding he was going to try to swim to the 'deep' end of the lake..."

"Then the tree climbing incident..." Kratos sighed as Anna rubbed more clear liquid on his back. "And now this..."

"You never told me your wings went into molt." Anna grinned, pulling a feather out and rubbing more of her medicine on the rest of them.

"Once every three decades, I though I wasn't due for another four years at least..."

"My poor abused angel, and now you have Lloyd asking twenty thousand questions..." Lloyd sat only a few feet away staring at his father's wings in confusion. "Or rather you will have that to deal with it when he finds his voice."

"Daddy..."

"And with that final note." Anna tweaked his hair and found her feet. "I leave you with Lloyd, lunch, and these orders. You don't move for an hour, just lay still until this dried. I'll be back with you in an hour to tell you if it's dry."

"I don't believe you that it takes an hour for this to dry." Kratos snarled into his arms that pillowed his head.

"Enjoy yourself dear..."

"Are you sure you're not evil incarnate beloved? This seems like a very evil action."

"I love you too, have fun..."

"Fun!" Kratos protested as his son scooted closer so he could better stare at his daddy's wings. "Fun!"

"Daddy?" One small hand reached out and poked at his wings. "See I told you there were shinny things! I was right! What're they called?"

"Damn.. This is not fair!"

"Mommy, Daddy said a bad word!"

"Lloyd, Daddy's had a bad enough day as it is, do not make it worse!"

"Alright!" Lloyd grinned, having long put his last two near life ending stunts behind him. Though the last of those stunts had only occurred a half hour ago. "Sooo..." Lloyd plopped down so he was laying on the ground on his stomach, much like his father. "What are they?"

"Ahh... well... you see..." Kratos sighed. "They're called wings, like a bird's wings I guess..."

"They're shiny, bird wings aren't shiny." Lloyd poked a wing, as if to bring his point home.

Kratos winced as itching traveled across each inch of feathery membrane in response to Lloyd's touch.

"Well they are special wings, magic wings."

If Kratos was hoping that was the end of it he was sadly mistaken.

"Does Mommy have them? Can you fly? Where'd you get them? Do I have them? Where do they go? Does everyone else have them, even Noshy? Does..." Lloyd went on and on until Kratos felt a headache coming on.

"Lloyd, breathe!" Lloyd took a deep breath, almost draining his lungs of breath with his questions. "Aye Gods.. This is not a good day." Kratos closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. "First off, _no_ you do not have wings, Mommy does not have wings. In all there are two other people in all the worlds who have wings." _Or rather those people who still qualify _as_ people and not soulless droids_. "No you wont grow up and get a pair, you see to get them you first have to have a very special rock called a Cruxis Crystal and you need to be a wizard and be able to call on Angelic mana."

"Ohh..." Lloyd looked a bit disappointed.

"Lloyd these wings... They aren't good, they hurt people. They are like... They are a symptom... Do you remember when I told you how I couldn't feel cold or hot, or how I couldn't taste sometimes?"

Lloyd nodded eyes wide.

"These wings made me like that, they make me different, from you, from Mommy, from everyone. And because being different can get you in trouble... I hide them. But there are times I can't hide them, like now, and everyone can see them."

"Mommy likes them..."

"Mommy," Kratos smiled. "Is a very strange woman, she likes a lot of things I don't. For example, tomatoes..."

Neither male had to mock shudder it was all too real, like that bowl of tomato soup that was just in the seraphim's reach.

"I'll make you a deal." Kratos shifted. "Take that bowl, dump it over there." Kratos lead his son's gaze to a bush with one lazily waved hand. "And I'll tell you a bit of a story, a story about wings... and angels."

As Lloyd wandered off to get rid of the soup Kratos sighed and wondered what to tell his son. What he could tell and what would hurt his son's young innocent mind. With a happy squeak Lloyd announced his return and pounced on his father. The boy wrapped his own small arms around his father's shoulders, or rather tried. With a smile Kratos shifted a bit, and once he was certain Lloyd was comfortable the seraphim began his tale.

"_Once upon a time, long ago, before most peoples knowing and the world was but in it's childhood there was a woman, a kind woman named Martel. She was a half elf, and unlike now there were no Desian's. She was no Desian, and she traveled to save what she thought was the world. Her village, a small town names Syoon was attacked by evil humans, a band of brigands. _

_With her younger brother Mithos and her beloved Yuan in tow they went on a journey to save what they thought of as the world. And in that journey they passed by a river and met a man who had worked with those Brigands and that man's name was Kratos..."_

"Daddy, isn't that your name?

"Yes, it is, it stands to reason considering how that man was me. You remember Lloyd, how I told you that Noishe was really old even though he looks and acts young?"

Lloyd nodded.

"He's not the only one, I was born during the Kharlan war, and that occurred a very very long time ago. Well over four thousand years ago"

Lloyd's eyes widened in shock, his young mind reeled.

Kratos made a sympathetic sound, stroked his son's hair.

"I know it's hard to believe it, it doesn't make sense, but I promise it will..." Lloyd nodded, looked to his father with a startling maturity, Kratos coughed, was suddenly uncomfortable in the sudden turn in his child's personality. And yet... it was going to happen anyway... he had to explain it, and in terms that child could understand and remember, all the while keeping the child a child.

"Anyways... back to the story...

_In this world of long ago there were two types of people, normal people and those hidden. Demon touched, and you could not tell the difference, could not see the difference until they showed you. Because the warrior Kratos rejected the Demon Seed he was cast aside, almost destroyed by these evil people who destroyed Martel's village. He joined the half elves at first for profit, for pay, but when the Demons appeared and attacked another village the four became bound to each other by more then greed, by more then the need of others around them. They became the warriors.. My... family for a time and together no evil stood before them. But there was a war, and in the confusion of that war the demons were coming out from the places they lived and hurting people... So the war must stop, and so they set off to still that hatreds of the world... _"

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Lloyd please!"

It was a few hours until night fall. Anna's miracle anti-itch jell had worn off and run out. The seraphim was desperate, tormented, and after being caught rubbing his back against a tree by his wife was now "in trouble". He was banned from using the one item that could bring about some relief, and Lloyd was the safe keeper to the seraphim's salvation. Tossing dignity aside Kratos was now on his knees, begging his son to hand him what was needed.

"Moma said un-uh!" It was a wail, Lloyd wanted to help but he couldn't.

"Just for a moment, I swear."

"Moma said we'd have Sk'etti if I gave you it..."

"She wont know if we don't tell." Kratos reasoned, not even looking at his son, but at the back scratcher that the boy tried to hide behind his back. Lloyd wasn't doing a good job, considering the wooden rod's three prongs were not hidden. In any other situation it would have been cute, seeing Lloyd with three false horns, but as it was he was suffering far too much to take note of anything but his salvation from... well from his current situation.

"No Daddy, no! I don't want sk'etti!" Lloyd, perhaps a bit scared, backed up.

"I'll allow you to ride Noishe three times tomorrow."

Lloyd's eyes widened in awe at such a promise and the back scratcher came with no farther protests.

Noishe growled at Kratos, anger obvious for being used as a bargaining chip.

Kratos could have cared less. He all but snatched the wooden rod from his son's hands and worked it under his shirt. A few moments the seraphim was vigorously scratching away at the points he couldn't reach. If Lloyd had been asleep he'd have drawn his wings out and scratched those as well, no such luck there. He sighed in releif, leaned against a tree and continued to work the rod. Lost in his need, his base human need, Kratos sighed as the sensation died down. He muttered a quiet curse as if didn't go away entirely but it did weaken considerably. That was enough for now... He closed hi eyes, rod in hand still scratching, so lost in his near bliss he did not hear the soft whine.

He did not see Noishe slick his ears back nor see the Protozoan slink away leading a very pale Lloyd out of the clearing.

"MR. KRATOS AURION!"

The man in question blanched, stopped using the rod, and backed away from the svelt brown haired woman who was glaring daggers at him.

"Ahh Anna what a surprise... how was your walk?"

"Fruitful." Anna's teeth were clenched. "Very _very_ fruitful." She dropped a basket to the ground, revealing more tomatoes then he could count inside.

Ahh..." Kratos fumbled with the back scratcher. "This isn't what it looks like?"

"Kratos, shut up, don't dig yourself in deeper, unless you'd like to say you were giving the tree a courtesy scratch?"

"Ahh no, I wont say that."

"Good, then I wont have to say what we're having for dinner. Bring me the noodles out of your packs and fetch some water and wood."

"But..."

"And bring Lloyd and Noishe here, they both are in trouble for giving it to you, unless you'd like to tell me you forced it from your son's hands."

"No, I didn't."

"Good, at least I can take that part out of my planned lecture."

"_Planned lecture_." Kratos squeaked, he had been on the brunt of Anna's passionate lectures and her planned lectures. Neither were good experiences but her planned lectures were absolutely brutal.

"Yes, planned, now then get to work Mr. Aurion."

Sighing Kratos gave in with a meek 'Yes dear' and slipped off to do as ordered.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"You know what would be nice? If you showed some self restraint."

Anna's nails ran across his back vigorously. It was little more then friction, because of what he was Anna could not have drawn blood if she tried. His wings drawn out as they were solidified his Angelic Powers. They made him impervious to steel and other mortal means of drawing blood and causing pain.

"I felt like I was going insane." He muttered into his arms, eyes closing to thin slits of pleasure. "It was worse then mosquito bite, poison oak, and... And anything else you can think of that itches all tied up into one bundle." Anna found the worse spot and went to work, he sighed and his wings caressed her face and hands in gratitude. Kratos had given up trying to understand why they did what they did. Whether the responded to his unconscious mind or their own will he didn't care at the moment. With a throaty chuckle Anna tickled the tip of a wing in her way and then went back to work on that spot.

"Heh, this is kind of funny." Anna muttered, pausing in her work to lean onto his back. "You make such a good mattress, do you know that. You're warm, snuggable, and might I add you come with a nice feather blanket?"

Kratos blushed, studied a it of ground while Anna leaned on him and absently scratched his wings on the right side of his back.

"My you're rather quiet, maybe I shouldn't have yelled so loud at you earlier."

She got a slight chuckle for that.

"I don't mind the lectures all that much." Kratos admitted with a smile. "I figured I deserve something like a lecture every once in a while when I'm being a bit pig-headed."

"Ohh I even have you using my words, we may have been together a bit too long if you're starting to talk like me."

"When I start finishing your sentences then we know we've been together for too long."

"Oh and when that time comes along then what oh-mighty seraphim?"

"Mmm I do not know... we will work on that when it comes. And for-"

"the thousandth time stop calling me that, it makes what I am more grotesque then it is."

Anna sighed with him, saying the sentence with her husband adopting his half sigh half grumble tone of voice.

"Show off." Kratos flicked his wings and Anna squeaked as her "blanket" and support shifted under her.

"No fair!" Anna squeaked as he rolled a bit and she slipped to the forest floor with a soft thud. "You're supposed to stay still!"

"I'm not being fair, I am suffering and going to take a quick bath and hope the itchiness dies down."

"You mean down by the lake, do-"

"No, I will go alone, wait for Lloyd to come back from..." The auburn haired man chuckled. "Scouting with Noishe."

"You mean playing."

"I told him that we needed him to scout for us, Noishe knows what that means. They'll be fine but it has been at least twenty minuets, and I imagine that they will be back soon."

"Why can't I come along?"

"Because..." Kratos glared. "Just because."

"You don't want me to see you naked, is that it? Gods Kratos we..."

"Anna!" Kratos looked at a point beyond her and she turned.

"Mommy what cha talking about?"

"Bark!" Noishe wagged his tail and sunk down. Taking the hint Lloyd swung his small legs over the Protozoan's back and slid down the massive creature's back. With a happy noise Lloyd ran to his mother.

"Nothing dear." Anna smiled, scooped up her son and mock groaned as she lifted him. "Oh so heavy, must be all that muscle!"

"Must be." Kratos chuckled, drew his wings in before Lloyd pointed them out and started asking even more questions. Kratos was still recovering from the first batch. "Well I'll be off."

"Whine!" Noishe cocked his head to the side, a world of question in his eyes.

That was strange Noishe normally didn't care when Kratos went off by himself so long as he wasn't gone for too long. Worried he turned to his son.

"Lloyd, is the reason you came back so early was because you saw something?"

"Mmm..." Lloyd scrunched his face up as if trying to remember something. "We saw prints, funny foot print track thingies."

Kratos pulled his tunic on and looked sternly at his _pet_.

"Noishe, why didn't you come here immediately?"

"I saw them, not Noshy! Noshy was being a meanie, he didn't believe me." Lloyd pouted a bit at the last. "I made him come home when I saw them, he wanted to keep playing!"

"Well I do, and Noishe we are going to have a very long talk when I get back.

"Whine!"

"Kratos are you sure it's safe for you to go out on your own?" Anna looked at him with worry clear on her face.

"I'll be fine, we'll move the camp so take down the tents and pack our belongings beloved."

She smiled at him, and before he went to look for those tracks Lloyd saw, he gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

Lloyd of course "ewwed" like always, but his parent ignored him.

"Coming?" Kratos asked, Noishe cocked his head started to pick himself off of the ground.

"Not you." Kratos said to the protozoan, he then looked to his son. "Can you find them again you think?"

"I can come, really!"

"Kratos I don't know about..."

"_Fa_ _merth Derisa, ul'l guath_." He smiled at her. "Trust me. After all are I not _Derris Fa Guthsaan_ _ast Sith_?"

She laughed, rolled her eyes.

"Someone's not going to fit their titles soon... Fine, go and be back soon."

Kratos bowed and Lloyd looked confused. He was still too young to understand the subtle flirting that went on between his parents. He'd understand when he got older. Yet perhaps it was the language that was a problem, he had a kind of pidgin Angelic he'd made up for himself. A melding of Angelic, archaic language, and common. From time to time Lloyd actually did slip into using the other languages, especially after he heard his father make a small lapse himself. As they left the clearing Kratos decided it was time to start teaching his son Angelic along with common so that he'd drop this miss match of languages.

"No running ahead Lloyd." He set his hand on his son's shoulder as the boy's small frame gave a familiar twitch that meant he was going to break into a run.

"Daddy!"

"We are scouting, being serious, so we can't run off in a random direction right now. When it's safer we can go run over to that hill and see what's on the other side, alright?"

"Alright..." Lloyd looked a little disappointed, stared at that small hill and the sunlight that highlighted. That light turned the hill's red leaves into a brilliant patch of crimson that was screaming for Lloyd to jump onto and throw them around.

Kratos smiled to his boy as he tugged on his son's brown sleeve, and gently steered him away from the temptation.

"You can go ahead, a little bit." He added hastily. "A tiny bit, and show me the way."

"Alright Daddy!"

Lloyd ran a good three feet ahead and looked back at him expectantly.

Suddenly the Seraphim was in PalmaCosta, with sun warmed wood floors shining with a golden light while his son gently lead him across the room. Lead him to his wife with that solemn intensity that was surprising considering Lloyd's normally cheerful personality.

Kratos frowned, rubbed his head and then shook it sharply, he could almost smell the sea, hear the murmur of those who lived to either side of their little home.

"Daddy?" A small hand tugged on his own, and while it was small it wasn't as small as it should have been. "Daddy!" Fear in that voice brought him back, or at least allowed him to come back somewhat. He opened his eyes, what he saw was enough to banish the scent and sounds of the sea.

He was startled to see that he had sunk to his knees, the dizziness that assaulted him was enough to persuade him to stay there however.

"Daddy, are you sick!" Lloyd sounded scared to death.

"Shh it's.. alright..." He reached out, drew his son close and stroked his hair.

_That son of a bitch, I'll kill him if it's who I think it is._

He fought the sickness, and using a tree as a prop found his feet. A quick glance at those leaves and how the sun was hitting them told him an hour had passed at least. Yet it felt like all of a moment. A throbbing headache and a slight twitching along his back helped him figure out what kind of mana had just been used on him. Only on angel had the power to manipulate time with his mana, only one who could so utterly warp perception and time like this.

"Daddy, we're going the wrong way!" Strange it was almost an obsession. Another facet of the spell no doubt. Lloyd tugged on his cloak stubbornly when his father started back to the camp.

"We have to go back..." Kratos fought down a wave of nausea and swallowed hard. "Now..."

"But..."

"Lloyd, I think the bad person from Falnoir did this to you, made you see the tracks when you didn't really see them. I think he tried to do the same thing to me..." Kratos staggered, tried to work around the dizziness and was somewhat succeeded. "We have to go back.. Now Lloyd."

Lloyd gulped, his eyes wide. He'd never heard Daddy snarl something like that. He never seen Daddy mad before and it scared him. But what scared him more was how pale Daddy was, and though he didn't know the word for it he knew that the funny walking that Daddy was doing wasn't good.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Down!" Kratos hissed, tugging his boy by the seat of his pants and making him fall. There was no way to gentle this so Kratos did his best not to wince when Lloyd fell and turned to him with tears in his eyes. Miracle of miracles Lloyd did not burst into loud sobs at his hurt, only whimpered and lay down as ordered. Kratos shivered with rage, and stared at their camp and the Desian's walking through it. Rage conflicted with terror, and it was only by the thinnest margin that rage won out.

Illuminating the camp with a surreal purple aura Mithos hovered in his adult form in the center of the Aurion's camp, his silver eyes cooly looking on as the Desian's pawed through the supplies.

"Disgusting..." Mithos hissed in his rich voice as he stared at the food rations.

"Sire?" One of the black clad men dared.

"Nothing, continue."

A blushing Desian came forward and handling a pack like it was filled with vipers upended it at his master's silent command. Mithos looked at the woman's clothing with emotionless eyes. Cocking his head to the side the lord of Cruxis's lips curled into a vile grin.

"Kratos, you truly have repudiated what you are haven't you? Pathetic."

"Your orders Sire?"

"Burn it, the she wont need it anyways, not after _he_ is done with her. Is this all?"

The guard shook his head, then brought forth a small set of packs and upended those. And at Mithos' feet were the relics of childhood, the small toys and items Lloyd had picked up and kept. Startled Mithos stilled his wings, landed on the ground, soundless, still, as death. He bent, picked up a small rabbit and for one second the ice in his eyes melted, then it was back, he dropped the item and waved his hands at the pile, to include it in his previous order.

"The last packs Sire." The Desian announced, upending these with all the others.

Mithos smiled at the state of those packs, orderly, folded with precision. There was no question whose packs these were.

"Hmm, something never change, the same as the others. Any luck finding the brat and the traitor?"

"No sire, it seems as if they never came to the ambush spot."

"The scouts?"

"Nothing yet My Lord." The Desian bowed low and Mithos grinned.

"When Kvar comes back from his playing bring him here."

"Sir... must I?"

Those eyes narrowed and the guard blanched.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing Great One."

"That's a bit better, I'm getting bored, fetch him now."

The guard nodded and stiffly did as ordered.

Lloyd whimpered, clung with a death grip to his father as Kvar cooly strolled from the forest. Blood, fresh blood was drying on the man's tunic.

"Lord Mithos." Kvar bowed with an oily grace, his thin slit eyes sparkled and a wild grin was plastered to his lips. The old man's breath was ragged, sharp with an almost sexual pleasure. "Wonderful evening isn't it?"

"Has the ex-sphere been extracted from the host body?"

"Yes, and a little something extra as well."

One silver stone crossed the distance between the Desian. Easily Mithos caught the silver ex-sphere, he turned it over in his hands. On the whole ex-spheres were a dull iron color, so much so that they were sometimes mistaken for iron orbs. It was when put either on a host that the stone would flash with a multitude of colors. This one caught the sun's light and set it to a thousand and one hues.

Residue mana from the soul passing clung to an ex-sphere, allowed the colors to flash when they encountered the life force that could fuel the old soul's energy which in turn would fuel the 'hosts' own power. Mithos grinned, rolled the stone over in his hands and marveled at the silver blue radiance that pulsated along the stone.

"As you can see my lord, my efforts on the angelus project were not wasted."

"No, I can see they weren't..." Mithos whispered, his eyes wide with hunger. "Such power, never have I felt this kind of power before. And other humans, they possess this potential in them? You never did detail me on what the key to this power is Kvar."

"Genetics primarily my lord. Anyone who shares either blood or has a similar part in their code will more then likely produce these special ex-spheres, but that is not all Sire..."

Mithos looked up, his eyes intent. He lifted his head and pinned the Desian Cardnel with a look of hunger.

"What else could there be?"

"This." Kvar drew a fist size ruby from a pocket. No, on second glance it was not a ruby, it only appeared red in the fire light. Held in his fist, half caked in blood lay a gem of many facets. Silver, it was silver streaked with soft veins of deep blue. "A cruxis crystal my lord, and unlike any other I have ever seen."

The half elf in black calmly rolled it over in his fingers, smearing it in more blood but uncaring.

"It was red, crimson, until the moment I took it from her breast. When she breathed her last the gem changed, darkened to black, then after a spectacular flash of light..." Kvar shrugged. "It was as it is now."

Kratos trembled, tears burned behind his eyes, his mind seethed in rage.

"A shame really, ah well..." Kvar shrugged. "The agreement still stands?"

"Of course, what is your is yours." Mithos grinned

"The dog?"

"Keep it chained with the carrion, it will teach him not to disobey me or lash out when I do something it doesn't like."

Mithos flexed his fingers, red dripped between them, evidence of a bite wound that was speed healed closed.

"As you will..." Kvar bowed, then paled as he saw Kratos rise out of what appeared to be pure darkness. "Sire!"

"I see him..." Mithos smiled to Kratos. "Old friend, it has been far too long..." Power crackled in the Cruxis leader's hands.

"Where is my wife Mithos?" Kratos' voice was a whisper, the few Desian guards scattered around the clearing, pale and trembling, but training made them lift there bows.

"In whatever pathetic after life she believed in.. Oh wait you mean her _physical_ body? Ah over there a ways..." Mithos waved a hand to the forest. "Tell him Kvar, let him see her dead for himself."

Kvar only took a step back, hesitantly rose his staff in a half hearted defense.

"Oh come now Cardinal, do not be so scared of this insignificant gnat."

Kratos' eyes were empty, he looked with dead eyes at the man he once proudly served.

"But then... I'm entitled to be merciful..." Mithos cocked his head to the side. "After all Martel would put me to task if I didn't at least make a gesture. Here are my terms of surrender Kratos Aurion, surrender yourself wholly to me, you may not rebel or plot against me, re-accept my ideals, Martel's ideals, come back to the fold brother. Re-claim what is yours, set aside that filthy humanity and all it's inherent weaknesses that you wallow in. Give your son to Kvar, then rejoin me. That's it, that's all. Considering all the damage you've wrecked on my cause I'd say I'm being very generous." Mithos grinned, made a beckoning gesture, a gesture one would use to call a dog.

Kratos was no dog however, no man's servant, and his cause had long ago been severed from Mithos'. What had been started by his doubts in Forcysutus' Ranch, what had been started in the march of time and nature, what had been forged as he held Anna in his arms, and what had been sealed by his son's first breath, this cause his unspoken oath was made of all these things in life and... and in death.

Kratos lifted his flamberg cooly dipped the blade, leveled it to the purple winged seraphim before him. Mithos cocked his head to the side, golden blonde hair cascaded down the slender neck. A neck that with one swing might spill out the seraphim lord's blood to fast for any healing mana to replenish. Blue eyes the color of a storm touched sky narrowed to mere points.

"Kratos, what are you doing?"

Kvar paled, he'd seen enough humans in that mental state to recognize it. It was the look of a human with a mass of their soul cut out, a family gone and a life ahead with only emptiness in it. It was the glance of a father watching his son being torn from his grasp, of watching a sibling killed. It was the gaze of a starved man who attacked the armored and armed with his teeth and nails.

It was the gaze of madness, of a cornered and beaten animal.

"Shoot him, kill him!" Kvar barked at his soldiers.

They lifted their bows, ten soldiers armed with magiteck bows lifted them, set the un-winged seraphim in their sights. Muttering a few words the Desian lifted his staff. A deep purple light radiated off of the tip, which he leveled at auburn haired man.

Silver runes encircled the man who stood still, and oddly only lifted his blade over his head, as if in pleadence to some god.

_Fool_ Kvar could almost hear his guards thinking as they pulled the trigger to their weapons, as Kvar released the power in those runes and watched the air above the seraphim gleam with the first hint of his indignation spell, he watched with a strange detached state as those steel points hissed by. _Fool and a dead fool at that_.

Calm, as if merely taking a battle stance in a practice session Kratos lowered his blade. A silver blue light surrounded the human. Arrows hissed like curses, sunk into the light as they'd sink into flesh, and drifted by to the human's feet nothing more then ash.

"Sacred power, cast your purifying light upon these corrupt souls..." Kratos' eyes which had closed slid open, and were radically different. Once a indeterminate black brown hue they were all white. Marred with no irus, no pupil, they were an expanse of empty white.

At long last, after what felt to be an eternity of waiting the mana from the God's Indignation spell rained down, first as a rain of lightning bolt, then as a sheet of pure mana that would destroy all who stood in it. Kvar heard no scream, but that wasn't uncommon. Most people were instantly vaporized, which stood to reason why Kvar rarely used it. Dead foes, much like Anna, had no value to him where as screaming ones did.

Only a hint, a nagging sense in the back of his mind made him stare into the light, made him endure the after flash and blink wildly. Because something in him told the Cardinal that whatever was happening was not over... and because he was the only one who was looking he was the only one who saw it. All the power in the indignation spell seemed to... to flex, writhe, then with a sound that he more felt than heard -an undescribably sound that scratched at the back of the inside of his skull with dull talons and made him want to vomit- the power arched off of the seraphim and in a pillar of light shoot to the heavens.

Thunder rumbled, and the skies grew black, filled with clouds.

A chill slid up the Desian's back.

"Shoot!" He roared. "Stop his spell!"

Snarling a curse Mithos threw bolt after bolt of mana, in a wild attempt to kill his former companion. All of it sild off of or was consumed by that blazing light.

Then the darkness that was starless, moonless, and felt of madness was gone, and there was an un-flickering, unflinching, light. Dumbly Kvar looked up, and the very heavens themselves split with a shriek and all the light of the world poured down. And with the light came silver tears, red tears, as the sky rained with blood...

He felt a searing pain as it consumed him, as that light and it's blue dagger shards it threw into the air around him. Daggers that looked like feathers and ripped at him. Seeking with mad purpose his essence, his center so that the light could go in and obliterate him. He looked around and saw a few pulses of green and when those faded away he saw blasted and mauled corpses. Light slammed into the earth, churned up minerals and the water around him, the pouring rains slammed into the earth and turned it all red.

And from long ago, in a time of ignorance, where he had once believed as all others believed he had read the book of Angels, the text of Martel.

_And lo the sky will rain light and the sinful earth shall bleed under devine judgement._

And for Kvar the light still burned in him, still dug at him... seeking... seeking his essence... even as he closed his mortal eyes and slid into the realm of what he thought would bring him to death.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

_What have I done... Death all I have gazed upon is dead_. Water slid around him, slid across wings he did not recall drawing. Blood, the earth itself looked like it was made of poisoned blood. Dark red, clogged around the smoldering stumps and gathered around the feet of those trees at the edges of the blast. To mock the utter destruction, to mock the devastation that he had welded silver blue feathers drifted to the earth. Oblivious to the rains that should have forced them down, oblivious to the howling winds that should have tossed them about and let them fade into the building night. He moaned, closed his eyes, and leaned wearily on his sword. The orange blade glowed softly, it's light it seemed subdued by it's owners grief. Subdued or not it was still powerful, it's edge sharp. With shaking hands and a howling soul Kratos lifted his sword, turned it over in his hands and to better position it to end his pain.

Sketched in red, marred with orange swirls he glimpsed world behind him.

Tear filled brown eyes, a frightened face regarded him. Limp, his hands dropped his sword, he turned and his son looked at him.

A sob, a muffled horrified sob came from his boys mouth as he tried to say something...

That same sob lodged in Kratos' throat as he staggered to his boy, sank to his knees, and took the trembling child, his child, his son, in his bloody arms. And with the rain of the Gods pouring on them they released the first of their mortal grief.


	42. pictures drawn in the sky

Pictures drawn in the sky...

Chapter 42

Cold, heavy, he was surprised to know that the burden in his grip was shaking not from just grief but cold. It was strange, holding Lloyd in his arms, wrapping the boy up in his cloak then topping that with his wings. The act of holding Lloyd was not strange though, that was old, familiar, what was strange was the phantom sensations that he'd feel every time his son brushed against his wings.

For example, cold, he could feel the cold water and it's effects.

It wasn't exactly the same as dealing with it himself, it was as if he were feeling these things in a dream, a dream that Lloyd's pale and trembling form turned into a sur-real reality.

Anna had- Gods even thinking the name made him want to sink to his knees and weep. He steeled himself, that faint need he sensed in his son was enough to make him force down the agony. Anna had tried to describe this to him... Had tried to explain how they were bound. But what had happened to her had been a result of his mana mixing with her fading life in Kvar's ranch.

Impossible, to meet all of those requirements, Lloyd did not wear a cruxis crystal, did not wear an ex-sphere, was not surrounded by the chaotic mana that had wrapped around Anna like a miniature storm. None of those things were going on with Lloyd, and yet...

Impossible, improbable, only a thin line that was the limit of human imagination made them different.

So the case, while highly improbable, was occurring.

He could feel his son's grief, could feel the pain of seeing what should not have been seen.

_It was hard to tell that she had been human. Her face was a bloody mess, all along her body marks of a knife left red lines and the never ending rains made that blood run, giving her the illusion of clinging to life by a thread. He bent in the mud, reached with one gloved hand to check her pulse. Nothing, no life was in her. He'd done this too many other times to delude himself, no matter how tempting delusion was in this case. Ignoring the blood, the mutilation. he took her hand, kissed it tenderly, and suppressed the urge to howl like a beast, to give into the madness that had taken him in Triet. With unsteady steps he walked past her, went to the whimpering creature at her side. He was bound to a tree, forced to look only at Anna by way of cruel metal muzzle and chain. Tears fell from that furry face as the protozoan looked on and could not change what had happened. Those mortal tears were washed away by those of the Gods, and it all fell to the earth and mixed with the blood of the world..._

_Grasping the chain in his hands he tried to rip it apart with his bare hands. Enhanced though his mortal strength was by ex-sphere and cruxis crystal he could not break the chain in his hands. Growling a curse Kratos stood, pulled his blade from it's place on his belt and brought it down on the chains constructed of pure mana. Purple light, deep indigo, the mark of Origin, the mark of Mithos, ran across the chains as they went back to the swirling void that had crafted them. He bent down once more, worked off the complicated mess of screws and bolts that held the muzzle together and... and bound it to Noishe's face. Ignoring the small holes, the multitude of cuts Noishe staggered to his feet and dragged himself to Anna's limp form._

_Those howls sounded far too human, they echoed in him, cut through him and almost released the mindless creature that seemed to have taken up residence in his soul._

"_Noishe!" Kratos snarled, roughly grabbing one of the protozoan's huge ears and twisting sharply when it became obvious words weren't working._

_Yowling Noishe turned on Kratos, fangs bared, eyes totally wild._

"_Noshy... Daddy?"_

_Oh gods._

_Kratos turned, saw his son looking at them in confusion, then saw as the boys gaze drifted down to... To what his mother had been... _

_And he understood... A child less then five years in life saw such mutilation and understood..._

"_Get him out of here!" Kratos screamed, his voice harsh with pain and tears. He turned on Noishe with a fury so intense the protozoan shook. "Hide him, there are more Desian's out here he has to be kept safe!"_

_Whimpering Noishe went to Lloyd, tried to pick up the boy who's grief had all but pinned him to the earth. The protozoan tried a nudge, tryed to gently coax him rise. Lloyd only fell into the muck, he didn't even use his hands to catch himself, only allowed himself to be knocked over. Setting aside his pain Kratos rose, went to his son, and gently placed him on the protozoan's back._

_He didn't even hear Noishe pad off, did not hear the steps that sank into the earth and rose up with a nauseating sound. He did not, could not, hear the soft sobs that marked his son's departure. Half blind in the rain Kratos dragged himself to his wife's side, gently folded her arms over her chest in an attempt to give this woman, his lover, his soul, a sem-balance of dignity. Despite all of Kvar's attempts to make that impossible._

_Forgive me, Anna if you can please forgive me..._

_Lowering his head the seraphim let his knees buckle and..._

"Lights are up ahead." He rocked Lloyd's form, hoping that he'd get a response. A wild gust of wind cut through the trees, cut through him, and Lloyd went off into a wild seizure. He was dying, his son was dying in his arms and if the person who owned that house up ahead dared to even think of turning them out...

There would be another corpse in the woods.

Noishe had whined and whimpered. He'd tripped a number of times, almost knocking the seraphim from his feet. The protozoan's snout brushed against the ground so many times he now looked to be wearing a mask of mud. Noishe's ears were not so much as slicked back but hanging limp. His tail dragged behind him like a forsaken banner and his fur was a tangle of blood and filth.

The only items that had survived the blast were Anna's ex-sphere and cruxis crystal, and Lloyd's toy rabbit. He had taken them all, the last remains of his and Lloyd's past, and pressed on. The rabbit hung on his belt, the water slid off of it as did the mud. Benefits of the spell he had wrought into the fibers and stuffing of the animal the day he'd given it to his son. Irony of ironies the rabbit had 'absorbed' the spell Kratos had cast in his madness, had somehow used the mana to re-fuel the various charms lain on it.

Hopefully Mithos had not done the same...

_Not as if the bastard _needs_ more power, he's going to be hard enough to kill as he is._

He stiffened as the earth gave way to cobblestone, then realizing where he was he relaxed. He did not start at the hollow thump of his foot falls crossing wood, nor did he pay much heed to the foaming river under him. Just a few more feet, he managed just enough coherent thought to realize his wings would be very dangerous to make a show of, and sheathed them. At the door he shifted Lloyd around, and knocked, on the second pound the too short door swung open.

Kratos stooped down then coldly shouldered the man who answered it aside. He looked around the small room, stared and did not see anything but the fire. A damn good thing there was a fire going, or the exhausted seraphim would have settled for torching some furniture. Indifferent to the voice, to the other man, Kratos set his son as close to the fire as he could. From far off he was aware of Noishe curling up besides Lloyd, desperate for some heat. Spying a pile of fire wood the seraphim reached for it. A large, labor calloused hand gripped his own.

"Enough lad, you sit by the fire with those two and I'll add the wood on." Numbly Kratos allowed himself to be lead by the short man... no dwarf... the man before him was a dwarf. After keeping friendly contacts with Altessa through the centuries this dwarf gave him a shock that pierced through his grief. Dressed in cotton tunic and heavy leather pants. The face was obscured by a long flowing beard, yet unlike Altessa it was not woven into a series of braids and laced with thin knots of silver. No knots, no braids, and garbed in human style clothes. This dwarf did not wear the dwarvish armor that seemed to shimmer with the fires of the forge even away from the birthing flames of their craft, he was not garbed in the robes of what would have appeared to be liquid metal, steel, or silver as was the garb favored by dwarven steel workers.

A quick glance even in his muddled state told Kratos that this man, who ever he was, was a craftsman of some type. If the unlit forge in the back wall was not a hint then the various shovels, tools, and carving utensils, scattered around the main room's one long table said enough.

"Impressed aye lad?" The dwarf looked up at him, stroked his beard and chuckled. "Gave me quite a fright there you did, thought you were a Desian." A smile cut through the bearded face. "Good thing you weren't."

It was only then that Kratos noticed the long sword... it was strapped over the dwarfs back and would have served as a two handed blade in that short man's grasp. The silver hilt with it's blue sapphire imbedded at the very end of the handle made Kratos think of his own sword that was strapped to his waist with it's golden hilt and ruby...

Once he would have cared, now he was empty, tired and empty.

"A good thing." Kratos sighed, pummeled his brains for a bit, then recalled what he needed to know. "_Uth Gonen ayer un auth_." Kratos bowed, a sketchy sort of dwarvish bow that Altessa had drilled into him when they had traveled together on that regeneration journey over five hundred years ago.

At that the dark skinned dwarf burst out into rich laughter.

"Lad, I'm no thane so you don't need to bow! I'm just a poor man making his way in a different place because he didn't quite agree with the old ways. Sit, by the fire, and I'll hear no protest from you. Or rather you can protest all you want an the flat of my blade will attend you a heck of a lot closer then you'd want it to!"

So warm and friendly the dwarf's cheer was a little infectious, and Kratos felt his lips turn up in the smallest of smiles.

"Now while I make some tea for you and that lad you can tell me where you come from. After all Dwarven vow number one hundred and five, _A visitor of the home is_ _a visitor of the heart_."

"I've never heard of the dwarven vows." Kratos admitted wearily as he sat by his sleeping son. Now that he was a little lower his hair wasn't brushing against the ceiling. He closed his eyes and sighed. _Where to start, what to say, what lies to tell to this honest man?_

"Doubt if you had lad, made them up myself... My name is Dirk Irving, dwarf goldsmith at your service. Figure you knew the "dwarf" part though." The small human like creature strolled out of the seraphim's range of site, ducked behind a small door and Kratos could hear the clatter of kettle and the hiss of a pump being worked. Less then a minute later the dwarf came out from his kitchen. Kratos watched as the dwarf set the kettle over the fire, then threw another log on it for good measure.

_Lies, I've lied forever and it has earned me nothing, perhaps the truth will garner me something... and even if it doesn't this recluse will not be bothered by the Desians or Cruxis. He is too _insignificant_ in their eyes. _

"My name is Kratos Aurion, this is my son Lloyd Aurion, and our furry companion is Noishe. Tell me something, just how religious are you?"

"Aye, I don't follow that Martel faith, if that's what you mean. My father worked for the Desian's, did projects for them so I know that they have some hold on the church and I'd rather not have my hands in that muck at all, reason why I left home... A lot of good folk were trading with the Desian's and I just..." Dirk made a gesture as if throwing something away and the seraphim nodded.

"Good, then it will make things a lot easier for me to explain..." Kratos reached out, smoothed his boys sopping wet hair. "First let me start by telling you the Desian's do not have so much of a "hold" on the church as they have total control..."

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Damn..." Dirk whistled through his teeth. "I'll be damned I never... Of all the..." Dirk closed his eyes, lowered his head and sighed. "And you're caught right up in the mess I take it."

Kratos nodded, said nothing, and looked to his son.

"What'll happen if they catch you?"

"If they capture us they will kill me and use my son for something called the Angelus Project, I can not go into more detail." _For I am not strong enough to face that pain_. "All we need is a few days shelter, then we are gone. What you tell others, if you bother to tell them anything, I leave that in your hands."

"Aye shelter I can give you. The Desian's know not to come here I wont work for them, even if I'm starving, and they know it. They also know that stealing from me's about the same as asking to get cut down." Dirk's eyes were grim. "You wont be bothered, and I'll do the same to those winged half bloods if it comes down to it."

Dirk picked up the kettle from where he set it and poured two cups to the rim with the green liquid and offered one to the seraphim.

"No thank you," Kratos declined the gesture. "I've had my fill for a day at least."

"A piece of toast, a cup of tea and that's it."

Kratos stared somberly at the dwarf, let his silence speak for him.

"You're strange for a human, if you don't mind me saying."

"Believe what you will." Kratos looked to his child, his son, the last piece of his soul, and felt his heart wrench inside of him. "Do you have a guest room or a couch." Kratos looked around pointedly at the multitude of tables, his gaze alone made them insignificant for serving as a bed for his son.

"Yes, I do, ceiling's low though."

"I wouldn't expect anything less." Kratos stood, picked his boy up off the floor. "If you would."

"Only have one bed in the guest room I'm afraid." Dirk fretted. "It's not much of a bed, and a bit small for a human... But the room does have a fire place to it, I think I have some flint... I'll bring you some when you get your boy settled and..."

"That wont be needful, just take us to the room, I'll handle the rest."

"Aye, I wont argue with you when you got _that_ look on your face mercenary."

"Good,"

Kratos grimaced as he had to weave his way through bits of wood and wood carving tools. Organization was not this man's best quality. He resolved, as he settled his son on the lumpy bed and absently tucked him in, that Lloyd would not be leaving this room without his father in attendance. Only a fool would allow a child to run around with sharp knives, saws, and nails scattered around the floor.

Lloyd whimpered a bit as if falling into a nightmare, but under his father's touch sighed, relaxed and drifted into a more peaceful slumber. Another whimper sounded out, one deep voice and a familiar high pitched one scratched at the edges of his awareness. Growling a curse the mercenary left his son for a moment, picked his way through the mess of craft work and came onto a scene that almost made him lose his temper.

"Shoo dog, get, leave them be!"

"BARK!" Noishe bared his teeth. He was obviously trying to work his way around the dwarf without resorting to biting, and it was just as obvious that the protozoan's temper would not hold out for much longer.

"Noishe, at ease."

"Bark whine whine!"

"I understand, settle down."

"Growl..."

"Mr. Irving, the dog stays with us. If you ever try to deny him access to me or my son he will bite you and I will not intervene in any way ever again. Come old friend." Turning from the stunned dwarf Kratos made another trip to the small room, and this time locked the door behind Noishe.

Dirk got the point, and left them alone for what remained of the night.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Yawning Lloyd rolled over, opened his dark eyes, and started in shock. Kratos smiled, or rather tried to, then sheathed his wings. He had not meant Lloyd to see them again, not so soon after...

After the world decided to fall apart.

"Good morning Lloyd." Habit allowed him to say those words, made him force them out past his pain.

"Daddy." Lloyd reached out, touched him, as if telling himself that his father was real. "Morning." Lloyd's sad eyes told Kratos everything, and perhaps it was too soon for them to even act as if everything was alright. Yes, it was far too soon for that.

He reached, took his son from the bed and held him as the first morning of loneliness dawned for them both. And under the dawns first light they held onto each other and cried.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Will you be eating nothing, again?"

Kratos sighed, shook his head. A day had passed and the very smell of food was a trial of his self control. He swallowed as the dwarf waved the plate under his nose, trying to provoke his guests ever reclusive appetite. No such luck, it was only by iron will that Kratos could keep the contents of his stomach.

"Dirk, though you are charitable to the point it could almost be called a fault; know I do not need to eat..."

"A whole day lad, no man can do that to himself and it lead to any good."

"Daddy doesn't eat."

Confused, the dwarf looked to the boy. Lloyd was eating, and his appetite more then made up for his fathers. Reading the confusion Lloyd let out an exasperated sigh that said louder then words that what he was saying should have been obvious and went back to his food.

Noishe rolled his eyes, his expression said louder then words what he was thinking.

_Like father like son_.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Rain rain go away..." Lloyd looked listlessly outside, he had been saying that chant for an hour now while his father looked on. "Come again some other day..."

The voice once so filled with life was dead. So thin and tired sounding that it was only a ghost of itself. Kratos closed his eyes, willed the tears back, and ran his hand over the hilt of his sword. It was so hard to even continue their old routines, to even think or act in the ways that they had before. Every motion, every thought had Anna laced through it. She had been such a foundation in both their lives and the emptiness... Neither said anything, they both felt it in their hearts and both grieved quietly. Alone or together they grieved. Every breath seemed like that, heavy with loss and pain, and it was not a pain halved in sharing merely doubled.

Kratos looked up as the door squeaked open, and corrected his thoughts. It wasn't doubled, but tripled for there were three people who grieved.

"Hi Noshy."

"I presume it is as vile out there as it looks from in here?"

Noishe growled, went to the fire and scooted as close as he could.

"Sorry Noshy, I keep tellin' the rain to go but it wont..."

"Whine?"

"Never mind Noishe, it is a human thing, let us leave it at that."

"Bark." Closing his eyes Noishe rested his head on crossed fore paws, he was almost as listless and depressed as Lloyd.

"Daddy... when's the rain gunna stop?"

"I don't know Lloyd." Kratos sighed as he looked at the grey smear the world have become. "I don't know." The seraphim knew what would happen if he stopped talking, the silence would return.

That wretched entity that made his mind wander and see the past, a past he could not face without tears. Desperate the seraphim said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Why do you ask?"

"I dunno, just cuz." Lloyd sighed, his breath frosted the window and he drew a nonsense symbol on the glass.

Strangely enough that one action nudged something in Kratos, he stood, wandered to the window.

"What are you doing?" Kratos wondered aloud, though it was obvious Lloyd was just entertaining himself.

"Nothin'..."

"Lloyd, you aren't in trouble, I just want to know what you call that..." Kratos gestured at the window.

"Sky writing... Like how you write on paper I write here... see?"

"An... interesting name." Kratos smiled, or tried, each smile on his lips felt like a diseased thing. But he tried, for Lloyd's sake if not his own. Lloyd looked up to him, and he tried to smile back. Kratos was looking at the window, thinking...

All his thoughts came together with a near audible click as Lloyd again breathed on the glass and did another nonsense doodle.

"Hey!" Lloyd protested as his father ruffled his wild hair with a hand. When he looked back to the glass he was surprised to see that little patch of fogged up glass was considerably larger. He looked even more surprised when his father drew a symbol in angelic and drew a rough sketch of a cat underneath it.

"Ick cat! Noshy's better!" Lloyd then drew, or rather tried to draw a picture of Noishe.

Kratos considered the pictures for a long moment then agreed that Noishe did look better then his cat.

"What's that?" Lloyd pointed to a symbol, smudging it and ruining the meaning.

"Oh, nothing now."

"And that?" Lloyd added horns to Kratos' cat.

"An evil cat.. Or an evil little boy..."

"Epp! Your hands cold!"

Lloyd hopped up tried to get away. No such luck. Lloyd squeaked, tried with all his might to run away. Kratos' grip was too firm, and Lloyd watched in shock as his Noshy picture was given a new addition.

"No don't make Noshy have horns!"

It was too late, as the horns were added before the first words came out. Ignoring, or rather working around the fact that he was partially in his father's lap, partially dangling over the floor Lloyd reached out and made an addition to Kratos' cat.

"Wing Kitty!" Lloyd chirped, then stuck his tongue out at his father.

War at that point was declared as father and son tried to out do each other. Soon the original drawings were lost and the fog on the window had to be replaced. Hearing the sounds of happiness after so much gloom Noishe lifted an ear. Realizing it wasn't a dream the protozoan yawned, stretched, and did a half walk half stretch to the Aurion men. For a long moment Noishe stared at the apparent madness then setting his paws on Kratos' shoulders, reared up on his hind legs and barked at the glass. The blast of fog that spread out do to the protozoan's hot breath dwarfed Kratos' own by far.

With another sound of happiness Noishe put his paw right in the center of the glass plane.

"Wow, Noshy's got a big hand!"

Lloyd pressed his own against the glass alongside the protozoans and nodded.

"Noshy's hand's huge!"

"Not as large as mine." Kratos set his own to the panel and was chagrined to see that Noishe did indeed have a much bigger hand then the seraphim. "Humph..." Kratos glared at the protozoan, who only leaned forward to lick Kratos' face. The dog's air was so much of a "there there don't let it get to you" feeling behind it that Kratos could not help but glare harder.

Lloyd giggled at the expression on his Daddy's face, leaned back into the last safe haven in his world. The comforting scent of leather, steel, and sweet was a home to him. Seeing the game was over Kratos sighed, picked his son up, and carried him to bed. In this timeless world of grey and it's attending loneliness there was no way to tell day from night. Unable to sleep Kratos had long lost the ability to gauge how much sleep was too much sleep, so he allowed Lloyd to lay down and rest whenever he wanted.

Looking up at his father, watching him with sleep blurred eyes, Lloyd almost panicked when his father wandered out of the range of his vision. A soft squeak of a finger brushing against glass made him relax, Daddy was just playing with the window, or cleaning it. Daddy was funny like that.

"You don't mind do you?" Daddy's voice drifted over him, far away but near. Lloyd yawned, tried to wake up, but had no luck sleep was dragging him under. "After all you are a member of this family, and have been almost a brother to me for ages uncounted."

"Bark." Noishe shook his head.

"Good," There was another squeak, one that had an almost note of finality to it. "Then I think that's enough for tonight, go to bed Noishe, you look tired."

"Whine..."

"Don't worry I plan on trying to sleep myself." Lloyd heard Daddy yawn, stretch, then say a bad word as he bumped into the ceiling. Then another sound, the hiss of a sword being drawn. From half closed eyes Lloyd watched as Daddy walked across the room once or twice, then finally sat, back propped against a wall, a sword lazily resting in his lap. That red edge, like the red star, followed him into his dreams.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Mr. Irving, we can be gone and at Iselia in two hours at most." Kratos leaned against the outer wall of the dwarfs cottage. "The storms wont break until night fall, that is plenty of time to-"

"No, no and no, I've said it over and over, you and your boy are staying here until the last of this died down."

The dwarf brought his awe around and chopped a sizable log in half. He had asked Kratos to help him, and the seraphim had, breaking half of the formidable starting pile of logs first into halves, then into fourths. Dirk was still struggling along with the first part, the first halving of those logs.

"Don't you think about it, you already done enough for the day. How's your boy?"

"Well enough, as well as can be expected." Kratos said nothing more, set his axe to the side and watched the dwarf struggle. He'd already tried to help the man multiple time, and had finally given up after being gruffly ordered to keep to his own task.

"And your ummm dog? It hasn't..."

"Noishe is house trained, there have been no accidents." Kratos said firmly, all the while mentally berating the generous dwarfs thick headed-ness. Noishe was not a dog, and the fact that both humans treated the protozoan as a person clearly upset Dirk. Once Kratos would have been humored by such an attitude but now.. Annoyed, angry Kratos went to the dwarf's house, just aching to be alone for a bit, or to just be with his son, or Noishe. It didn't matter so long as he was with someone who understood the realities of the world, and did not stubbornly cling to illusions.


	43. Crimson Kiss

DES chapter 43

Lloyd walked across the room, his small feet soundless on the hard wooden boards. It was only by the whisper of his breath that Kratos knew that Lloyd had even entered the room. Unmoving the seraphim stared at the fire, watched the flames consume the logs behind the protective grate. Water fell from the heavens, its mark was the steady tap on the roof and the soft hiss from the flames as water made it through the chimney and tried to damp the fire.

"Why are you up? You should be asleep by now, have you any idea of the hour?"

Lloyd didn't hop, was not surprised. He felt, as Kratos imagined all young children felt, that his parent was all seeing and trusted in that. "I couldn't sleep."

"Nightmare?"

Kratos turned that one word into an offer of comfort by tone alone, and it was what Lloyd was looking for. Mutely Lloyd nodded; his wild brown hair fell into his eyes. He crossed the room and clambered into his fathers lap with no more prompting. Small hands held onto his mud and blood stained tunic as the first of the tears came out. He reached with a hand, stroked that chaotic hair and said nothing. It seemed as if his presence was enough, Lloyd fell asleep in his lap, small hands still holding onto him. He cradled Lloyd to his chest as he had so many times before, so many nightmares, it seemed wrong for the gods to inflict such terrors on a child.

Yet in all of his experience the gods were, if nothing else, capricious with when and where they gave a soul happiness. They were also eager to inflict nightmares on the undeserving.

He sat, his son in his arms, and watched the predawn world die in spectacularly uninspiring blur of grey. Instead of that grey drifting away in the suns light it deepened, caught under the bellies of the few clouds he could see and ran like an extended smudge across the heavens. Absently he shifted his son around in his arms as he contemplated the view from the window. One more day, and then that was it, even if this streak of foul weather did not break they would only remain one last day. Staying here so close to where Anna had... He suppressed that thought, focused on the practical reason. Cruxis might find them, they had tempted chance too much by lingering in one place, they had to go on the run yet again.

"I will not let them kill you, I will keep you safe." The seraphim whispered, bending his head and gently kissing his son's head. "I'll stop this madness and give you what bit of a normal life I can." Kratos' voice became thick with pain. "No matter what, I will give you this. I swear it."

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Daddy, Mr. Irving!"

Both men jumped, startled by the fear in the boy's voice. Kratos abandoned the map he had been brooding over and the dwarf ran out from the kitchen, a heavy leather apron more suited to the forge then the kitchen wrapped around him. Lloyd had been sitting down by Noishe staring out a window, now he was hiding behind the massive protozoan. Kratos didn't even bother with the window; he opened the door and stepped out into the cold grey world beyond the dwarf's home. He didn't need Lloyd's whimper of terror or hand pointed at the forest to know where to turn. He'd spent hours outside already and had memorized the area so he'd know how it looked, so he'd know when something subtle was out of place.

He stared at the faintly human shaped creature and had this uncanny feeling that it was looking at him. Then it was gone, obscured by the drooping branches and mess of trees, there was a flash of lightning, and it was gone. It had not walked off... if had just disappeared.

Closing his eyes Kratos. The Aionis in his blood allowed him to touch a world that would over throw the sanity of most human minds. He brushed against the weave, felt it caress his skin, his eyes, and fought down a wave of nausea. As he let go of his mortal senses allowed himself to feel the pulse and energy of everything around him. He extended that sense, stretched it out like one would stretch a hand and reached for where the monster had been. Monsters, being products of the mix of stagnant mana, negative emotions, and hapless creatures that wandered into those places, left a mark. One that he could see through the pulse of mana all around him once he had let go of his mortal senses.

He snapped his eyes open with a curse. This was another nasty surprise of the day it seemed. Whatever the hell it was no normal type of monster because it left no mark, it was like nothing had been there at all. All Kratos could tell was it was hungry and cold, and it was looking for something, and that information came from the residue of it's thoughts.

Kratos clenched the hilt of his sword as the implications came down. Unable to sense it he was helpless to protect Lloyd from it until it stormed whatever camp site they had set up. He dared not leave his son behind to hunt the thing down, not with a dwarf who had sheepishly admitted to him that he had enough trouble fighting the wolves in the region. Snarling another oath Kratos went back inside, slammed the door behind him, and looked to the frightened dwarf and his cowering son.

"We," The seraphim announced in icy tones. "Have a huge problem on our hands."

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"But you scared it off." Lloyd protested, small feet tapping a rhythm against the chair he sat on.

Three books had been placed underneath him so that he could see. Unfortunately seeing the table and the meal of beef stew in front of him made him want to eat; and while the eating itself wasn't a bad thing -Kratos would have been worried had Lloyd not shown any interest in the food- Lloyd was not a particularly tidy about how he ate. And Lloyd had no more clean clothes after this set for they had all been in their packs. They didn't even have means to do laundry, and while Dirk would have offered...

Even before Kratos could finish the thought Lloyd turned on the food and after one spoonful managed to spill food all over himself. The seraphim heaved a purely internal sigh and considered how to answer without scaring his son farther.

"I may have scared it off, but it might come back."

"You're not scared of a monster are you Daddy?"

Kratos closed his eyes, I am scared it will take you from me, that by it's claws you will die. I am scared that my inaction will kill you, my hesitance. I am scared that my very love will kill you, that what I am will come to you as your grow old and fester in you like a taint and crush that will and spirit that brings me such pride. Am I scared, every moment of every day, but not for myself, only for you.

"Of course not." Kratos managed a grin from somewhere in himself. "I'm just a little concerned, that's all."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you Daddy!"

Dirk chuckled, looked to the seraphim.

"He always this confident?"

"Family trait," Kratos closed his eyes on bitter tears, thinking of another confident person who had walked by him not too long ago. "The idea Lloyd, is not to fight monsters, but to avoid them until you grow up a bit. When you're older then you can fight a few monsters now and then, alright?"

"Yes Daddy..." Lloyd gulped down another mouthful of stew, his mind also wandering. The pain lines around Lloyd's eyes said louder then words that it was not some childish fantasy that was playing in his head.

Seeing Lloyd like this, trying to act normal when a pain festered in him that had brought his own sire down low was almost enough for Kratos to renounce all the gods. To turn his back on all of them, and yet... To even see the next year with Lloyd he would need their protection, he could no longer do this alone. Swallowing back his tears the seraphim turned to Dirk.

"We will leave tonight, hopefully the rains will wash away our scent."

"You're going to take your boy out in that!"

At Dirk's flash of temper Kratos almost exploded. He was Lloyd's father he knew what was best for his son! Where in Hell did this upstart half man get the right to assume that he knew anything? Much less the needs of his son! This creature had no right to say anything to him about what was right or wrong and...

And Martel would be kicking me right now if she physically could...

Kratos winced, seeing that old part of him he had been fighting all of his life come boiling to the surface. He'd never really purged himself fully of his hate, it was always a part of him and whenever he was strained it would rush to the surface. He pushed it down, suppressed it. He had loved Anna enough to destroy the last bits of his own father that had clung to his soul; it seemed as if he had not loved Martel enough to overcome the rest of his hatreds. Yet Martel was not his wife, he liked Martel as a sister, but she was nothing more then that.

"I have ways of protecting him against the elements." Kratos said once he was sure of himself. And he'd be damned if Dirk did not pick up on the rage that had been stirring in his guest. Lloyd had, he was looking at his father as if he was expecting to be yelled at. "Come on Lloyd, let's lie down for a bit."

"But Daddy, Aska's out!"

"Aska?" Dirk mutteredto himself, Kratos decided not to enlighten the dwarf on his son's beliefs.

"I know Lloyd." Kratos sighed. "We need to sleep now because we're going to be up all night."

"Alright..." Lloyd was looking at him as if he wasn't quite sure his father was right in the head.

"Ah, let me get you down Lloyd." Kratos moved to pick his son up from the chair before Lloyd decided to check to see if he had wings yet.

Picking his son up from the chair Kratos shifted Lloyd around so that his son was comfortable. Small arms wrapped around his neck, his son snuggled to him, eyes closing. Son in hand the seraphim left the room and the humored dwarf behind. He managed the door somehow, worked it open while juggling his son. A small kick on his part closed it behind them. As he pulled back the covers and moved to set Lloyd down Kratos was shocked when Lloyd lifted his head up, and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you Daddy." Lloyd held onto him as tightly as he could.

"I love you too." Kratos freed up a hand, stroked his boy's hair. "Don't ever forget that. Now come on, you need to let go so you can rest on the bed."

"I..." Lloyd looked up at him with fear in his eyes. "When I go to bed I have nightmares. I get alone and I get scared and... and... it rains red and..."

"I wont let it." Kratos whispered. "I wont let it hurt you, whenever you have a bad dream just know I'll be right here and I'll wake you up from it or you can wake me up and I'll make it go away."

"Forever and ever, you'll make them stay away forever and ever?" Lloyd whispered, the fear still not leaving him.

"As long as you need me to." Kratos smiled gently, whipped at his eyes. "Forever, if that's how long you need me I'll be here forever."

Lloyd went to bed with no farther words, he lay down with his eyes closed, a small hand holding onto the edge of his father's cloak. With a soft tender smile rimmed with tears Kratos lay down as well, though sleep would not be coming for him so soon after his last nap. Habit made him lie on the bed though he would not have suffered any if he had sat up the whole night. Habit, being human was a habit for him, and being a seraphim was his reality. It was then, watching his son sleep, seeing the lines of pain and fear that did not even fade away in slumber that Kratos' mind echoed a curse that had often fallen from Anna's lips.

'_Damn Mithos for making us into this. Damn him for making us cringe in the shadows like thieves, for making a mockery of our love with his ideals_.'

He had a long time to just lay there and think of his mistakes, a long time to think of how he could have done something to save Anna. If only he hadn't lowered his guard, if only they had been more cautious. If only… He swallowed, forced the tears back with stubborn will alone.

He could spend the rest of his life, of Lloyd's life, thinking "if only" or he could do something about it. He sighed, recalled Sybeck and that damned long pile of notes. If nothing else he had plenty of time to think about those papers and their theories on the Eternal Sword. Closing his eyes he let the present world drift away and his memories rushed over his head like a ocean's wave, muffled all thought all sound. Reality drifted away and with a sickening wrench reformed he 'was' in Sybeck he was looking at pages and pages of tedious notes, memorizing while Anna looked on in worry. He allowed the memory to play, for that memory to be reality until he got to the point in his reading that held the most potential. He then with another sick wrench ordered it to stop while he went over the notes on the properties of Aionis. Considering he already knew what the notes said this was an attempt to get the rest of his mind, not the tatters of his sub consciousness, to turn the problem over and over. Ignoring the ink smudge on the page Kratos allowed himself to read that book from his past.

'_Aionis while consumed may enable the devourer to make use of mana, as a matter of fact it is theorized that some half elven's have done this to themselves to make them equal to their pure blood relatives. But when a human ingests it Aionis is the most toxic of substances traveling through the blood and attacking the brain. Indeed, when not even ingested Aionis can kill a human, contact with the material is highly dangerous and prolonged exposure makes a human's potential mana careen out of control leading to a total break down of the body's functions. Symptoms of Aionis poisoning are so erratic that it is common for several other diseases to be suspected that the person does not get proper treatment and dies in twenty four hours... _

_(See page 29 paragraph four for examples of poisoning in our times) _

_It is theorized that those Chosen by Martel are allowed to take in Aionis and that it has some beneficial causes to those of Angelic status. Such thoughts though are gibberish as we know that hose of Angelic and most holy status do not partake in the base needs of mortals and therefore can not consume sustenance as we do. They live off the good humors which radiate off the souls of mankind. _

_aside: Aionis is also known by the pagans as Shards of Eternia_

Even as a memory Kratos winced at the narrators following spiel about the purity of angels, ad thinking over the whole section –minus the religious rant that concluded it- Kratos knew that there was something there. If Aionis could in fact cause a human's mana to go out of control on contact then perhaps there was some way to tame that effect… He opened his eyes, fought back the memory and came back to his true reality with another of those gut wrenching jerks. Lloyd's hand still gripped his cloak; his soft breath was the only sound in the room.

'_I wonder'_ Kratos mused as he braced himself to go back farther into his past. _'What that stuffy old bastard would have thought if he knew an angel could have a child? That we are more human and more fallible then he thinks?_ That bastard would be rolling in his grave if he knew that, he'd probably dismissed others from his order when they'd shown even the slightest hints of thinking that angels were anything but pure all powerful, benign, entities of good will. _'Oh we are pure, well our leader is, pure what I don't think that man would want to know_.'

Reaching out, he took his son's hand in his own, and with that firm anchor to the real world so lose he would not lose himself to the next jump, which would take him to when Martel had been sick, dying…

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Daddy!" Small hands pushed on his stomach, he groaned, opened his eyes, and told his throbbing head to stop hurting. "Daddy, Luna's out now!"

"Thank you for walking me Lloyd." Except he hadn't exactly been asleep, he'd been recovering from watching four thousand years of life shift through his mind. He cracked an eyes open as Lloyd plopped down in his stomach. "Lloyd, are we going to have to have that conversation about Daddy's stomach again?"

"Sorry." Lloyd rolled over and got off his father's stomach, and decided to take up as much of the bed as he could at Daddy's feet. Lloyd smiled at the seraphim. He was always so charming in the morning, all smiles and happiness just to be up with those he loved. Enthusiastic, though shadowed with pain and loss, he was enthusiastic to be on the road again.

"All right," Kratos winced when Lloyd poked him in the side. "I'm up already! Wake Noishe and we will be on or way. Can you tell if it's raining?"

Of course he could hear the drops but it was a test. The sound and amount of those drops was minuscule, even to his angelic hearing, and such a thing in all probability would not be able to be heard by human ears. Lloyd scrunched up his face, tilted his head to the side, and then frowning muttered something about Noishe. So that's how he was doing it, the seraphim had been wondering how Lloyd had known the other mornings that it was not raining… Kratos mentally sighed with relief. Lloyd was going to Noishe to check the weather, that was good and a welcome indicator that Lloyd was not becoming what his father was.

He would never stop checking, could never stop checking his son for these symptoms. He would not lower his guard and turn around in a decade to see his son unchanged, untouched by time. As he listened to Noishe's grouchy wake up bark, as he heard Lloyd call Noishe a "grouchy grouch", he lay on the bed, eyes open and mind churning. Time was both against and with him. Time would change and inevitably take his son from him, as time and ill fate had swept Anna from his side. And yet without it he would never had had them, it was limited, his time with his family, so damned limited.

And if Mithos had his way there would be no time at all.

Then he would not give Mithos his way, he would leave Lloyd with Syt for a month or so and then return to Derris Kharlan to steal some Aionis and Syston. Because if he sheathed the Aionis with the Syston then perhaps, just perhaps, it would react in such a way that he himself could wield the eternal sword. After that it was a sort three minutes flight to the holy forest and a five minuets walk to Origin's alter.

_And then at that point I do what? I'd have to release all my mana, break the seal, talk to Origin, and then depleted down to nothing fight him, win, and request to use the Eternal Sword._

_No… Not the Eternal Sword, the elves called it The Star's Double Edged Blade._

Usn Lloyden Aruionen in angelic if you wanted to be picky.

Suicidal at worst and plain stupidity at best, even if he got the sword Mithos isn't going to sit on his hands and do nothing. He'd be hunting for his traitorous lieutenant every second of every day.

But that hunt would be very hard to do if Derris Kharlan disappears, or better yet drifts off into space and becomes a comet once more. Then Mithos would be trapped, avoiding a fight altogether.

Which in turn lowered Kratos' chances of dying, and once a while he wouldn't have cared either way.

Lloyd squeaked; Kratos heard Noishe's bark in pain as his tail was probably yanked in Lloyd's attempt to wake the protozoan up.

He had a reason to care, despite the pain of losing his love he had a very good reason to care whether he lived or not.

A very good reason.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"I don't like this!" The dwarf huffed, arms crossed, wisely standing besides the door and not in front of it. Had he been in front of it he might have been stomped into the ground by the seraphim's feet. "It's raining, and I have this chill in my heart that has nothing to do with the water."

"Your liking is irrelevant Master Craftsman." Kratos snapped; his voice filled with anger. It was nice to lash out at someone with his tongue, to have reason to so he could safely vent some of his anger. "We are leaving, thank you for your hospitality I apologize if we've been a strain on your resources, good evening and good luck."

"And what about this... all of this the lies, the truth, what of it man?"

"Do what you will, say what you will, I have given you my recommendations."

"Stay out here and say nothing to no one." Dirk snorted, tromping out in the rain after his guest. "You're daft man, how about the next Chosen, you expect me to do, sit and smile while some poor child sacrifices themselves for a pack of lies?"

"Do whatever the hell you want." Kratos snarled in a quiet voice. "It doesn't matter; this will be settled in a year's time one way or the other."

"If it were your boy they were sacrificing…" Dirk hounded, Kratos stiffened, set the bundle down in the mud and looked to the dwarf with such a deadly intensity that Dirk took a step back in terror.

"Listen to me Dwarf, and listen to me good, if I stay here any longer it _will_ be my son they sacrifice. So go back to your house, sink into this mud, it doesn't matter what you do with yourself just so long as you stay out of my way." Kratos picked up the length of canvas and poles that Dirk had provided for a tent to see them off. Custom the dwarf had claimed; a self made one in the seraphim's mind. He was being cruel, vicious; he knew that, it was deliberate.

_I don't like the fact you are so attached to my son dwarf, I don't like it one bit. So while I just may be acting as a possessive bastard I hardly care of the moment. He is my son damn it, mine! No one but me will raise him, I know damn well how to care for him and I don't need your help!_

Dirk met his glare unflinchingly, and both men stood in the rain and neither showed any sign of being effected by the cold water.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my son, don't follow me." Kratos whispered his tone chilly enough to turn the rain to snow. "Or I might take it to my mind that you work for them. Is that understood?"

"Aye sir," Dirk gritted his teeth, bit down on his anger. He was reading between the seraphim's lines easily enough.

That too was deliberate.

"Good, remember it." Pulling a wad of his water logged hair out of his face the seraphim walked to the cold and shivering Noishe, dismissing the dwarf from his awareness. He had more important things to think about then that one man, much more important things.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"It's cold Daddy, Noshy's really cold too."

"I am sorry Lloyd."

Kratos had cast a spell over Noishe and Lloyd to repel the water, to make it not cling to them or their clothes –though in Noishe's case it was fur- but he could do nothing for the cold. It was because he could not feel it, not being able to conceive what cold was the seraphim had been unable to manipulate it. He could have summoned a bit of fire mana, made it pass over Lloyd and Noishe, but that heat would not linger long and the cold would return again in less then ten minuets time. Even if he constantly cast the spell over and over again he would be making Lloyd's temperature drop and rise too rapidly and that in turn would make Lloyd get sick.

No, it wasn't an option; they just had to suffer though this.

"Daddy?" Kratos looked up from scanning the terrain for problems the most dangerous thing he was seeing were a great deal of puddles. "Is Iselia far away like that hot icky place?"

"No, it should be less then a mile from here. And since most towns have an inn we should be able to get a room tonight."

"Oh…" Lloyd seemed desperate to break the silence, it was only then the seraphim really knew how different it was traveling with out Anna. She would point out several things of interest, serious and silly, and badger both of them into talking. Without her both of the males in her family were so serious that they didn't talk all that much. And the silence gave too much time to think, something neither of them needed.

Because if you thought you remembered and if you remembered you bleed.

"I was thinking about going to Luin Lloyd, to pay Syt a visit." Damn small talk was not his specialty this was going to be difficult. "What do you think about that?"

"Luin? The watery place?"

"It's pretty watery now don't you think?"

He was rewarded with a breathless laugh on Lloyd's part that made his heart clench.

"Noshy was a fishy right?"

"Once a long time ago."

Noishe only bobbed his head and flicked an ear as if to say, 'yes and?'

"Can Noshy turn into a fishy now and swim us to Iselia?"

"Hmm I do not know, can you?"

Noishe's pained look said that if he could he would have by now.

"Have you even tried?" Kratos hounded the dog with completely false somberness.

"Whine bark bark whine!"

"No whining Noshy!" Lloyd chirped, tugging on a huge ear. "Turn to a fishy and swim us there!"

"Yes Noishe." Kratos' eyes gleamed with a wicked light. "Don't be shy about it."

Noishe could have killed the seraphim with his glare. Kratos only raised an eyebrow and the protozoan grumbled, growled, and endured for a mile or so his rider's calls to turn into a fish.

"Lloyd that is enough," Kratos reined his boy in when he seemed to be getting a little too hyper. "Noishe is just being a grouch, you know how he is."

"Grouch!" Lloyd leaned against Noishe's back; he worked his father's makeshift 'canvas cloak' over himself and Noishe so that they didn't have to deal with the water as much.

"Whine!"

"Don't argue with Lloyd, Noishe."

"Growl."

"You are only proving him right you know."

"Growl…" Noishe seemed to sigh in defeat and a more comfortable silence descended on them.

After a bit more walking the seraphim frowned, they should have been in Iselia by now and he doubted that he had gotten them lost. Yet having to walk around expanses of mud where Noishe could have slipped it was possible that he had gotten them lost. He ordered Noishe to guard Lloyd and drew his wings. As always Lloyd gasped at their appearance, if the light in his eyes said anything he had inherited Anna's wing fetish. Kratos only stood still long enough to let the ever falling waters wash away the blood then with a slight hop was off of the ground and struggling through the saturated air.

Growing fins might have been more useful here considering the rains, he managed though. He glared through the grey screen of water, and spotting a number of lights a goodly distance ahead he sighed. Lloyd was not going to be up for another hours hike in this, it was time to call it a night and hope that whatever that thing was wouldn't catch them in the morning.

For now that's all he could do.

Folding his wings Kratos dived to the ground, flared them at the last second and drifted down to the road wings flared trying desperately to absorb the force of his dive. He backpedaled the second his feet hit the ground to kill his momentum and slipped in the muck.

"Daddy it's not snowi' you can't make a snow angel now."

He lifted his face, grimaced as the mud slid off of his face.

"I know Lloyd," He whipped at himself and realized he'd just have to let the water do it's job. "I know…"

"Daddy made a mud angel Noshy!"

Kratos' wings flapped, brushed against the muck and the Seraphim found his feet and tried to ignore the yips that were coming from Noishe. They sounded far too much like human laughter.

"Shut it dog!" Kratos growled as he set up the tent under a tree.

Noishe only sat a few feet away yipping, his tail in full waging glory.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Kratos cracked an eye open when Lloyd slipped out from under his Daddy's arm. Lloyd thoughtfully stuffed the sleeping protozoan's tail under his father's arm so not to wake him with his absence, then slipped out of the tent. The gesture was sweet, but really not necessary. He'd have to talk to Lloyd about that soon, try to explain that he never really slept so that such subterfuge wasn't necessary. But then it might just be useful if Lloyd were to say… slip out when he wasn't supposed to. The only incident Kratos could think about though was if Lloyd were going to slip out to see a girl… and that was in the far far future.

Fourteen years at least before that charming situation came up. It better damn well be fourteen years anyway.

Shame, he mused as he pushed Noishe's tail back where it belonged, that he did not share that cheery demeanor that his son had. He'd look forward to things more then dread them. The talk about what made men different then women… He had meant to shove that talk onto Anna's shoulders, and of course he now couldn't and since Noishe couldn't even talk it was totally on Kratos' plate now.

Unless of course we live in Luin, I could manipulate Syt into doing it.

There was a comforting thought. With a slight smile Kratos closed his eyes. He'd give Lloyd ten minuets to deal with natures call, with all those cursed buttons on their clothes, more gifts from Dirk, it could conceivably take that long to get dressed and undressed. After ten minuets' he'd get up and set about making breakfast. Suddenly a strange tingle took him, it fell behind his eyes and he yawned mightily. Perhaps a small nap was in order, yes… he deiced as his eyes slid shut. Breakfast could wait… just five minuets.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Dumb buttons!" Lloyd fought with the 'dumb' things until they clicked back together closed. Granted he hadn't put them on right, they looked funny and his red 'jama's sagged and lumped together in funny places but… They looked fine on second glance, and if his belly got all cold it was the Sylphie and Celiseses people's fault, not his. He waddled back to the tent planning to go to Daddy when something shiny caught his eyes. He turned; there was a shiny 'person' on the other side of the clearing! Not a person with shiny wings like daddy sometimes was but a glowy shiny person!

His mouth sagged open as he realized that the person had wings just like Daddy. He remembered that Daddy had told him to yell out if he saw a person with wings, no mater where he was he was supposed to yell and run and keep yellin', but Lloyd lost his voice when the glow disappeared and he could see the person underneath the glow. He stopped breathing and tears poured down his face.

"Momma?"

That's what he meant to say but he couldn't, but that didn't matter.

Momma was home, Momma was back!

She beckoned to him, at first he managed a few jerky steps, those steps turned into a run and he was in her arms. She held him, smiled and held him but said nothing. That didn't matter, she was back and everything was alright again. He closed his eyes as he rested in her arms. She smiled, kissed him, and funny thing was the kiss kind of hurt, it kind of sung like when he owwed his knee in that hot icky place.

But it was Momma, Momma would never hurt him! He smiled as she picked him up, but why were they going to the forest, shouldn't they go wake Daddy? He tried to say something but his mouth wouldn't make any noise. It was like when that nasty person in the snow place made him be quiet.

He tried to talk and Momma put a finger on his lips, settled him better in her arms and began to walk off. When he looked at her face however he started to shake. Because her lips had owwed him, she had blood on her face. He reached up and his head felt hot and sticky. And suddenly the air smelled funny, kind of sweet and sick at the same time. He frowned, looked around for the nasty smell, but there was only him and Momma. And it was Momma, Momma was back, and that's all that mattered. He closed his eyes, nestled into her arms and ignored how the snell got stronger.

He was with Momma and that was all that mattered, that was it. Closing his eyes he drifted off to sleep.


	44. Silver tracks

Note to the readers,

A lot of people on various Tales forums have asked why Kratos didn't go get the unicorn horn ect. Well this chapter explains why, and introduces that dark twist I was mentioning. This is the second to last chapter, I may write an epilogue, we shall see how this goes. Oh ummm the chant on the top is in Angelic (yes I made up an Angelic Language I have no life, I'm very well aware of that fact) and the English translation is on the bottom. In advance I apologize for those whose languages my false language may resemble… and I apologize if this has any swear words in some other real language that I am not aware of. Bleh I'm evil, two cliff hanger chapters side by side but I need to split this chapter with the last, it's bad form I know but I couldn't think of any other safe point to cut the story off.

Kasan

MoonCannon: Working on it, trying to write more… but just out of curiosity what are you going to do when I'm done?

ArchNavy: I've always liked Lloyd Aurion myself, has a pleasant sound. Unfortunately this chapter is pure angst… I can't think of any funny parts here.

Homocidal Snowbunnies: Yah… new chapter? Heh I gotta ask you too… what are you going to do when I run out of story?

GameCubeGirl1: Thank you for your praise and continuous reviews. This is another sad chapter by the way… though when the story's done I hope to have a slightly hopeful ending to it all.

PhoenixFire1389: Quite a screen name lol. Yes I am evil because I use a clifie (AKA cliffhanger ending)… and I'm guilty of doing it again… so does that make me doubly evil or just evil overkill? As for Anna's condition you don' have a clue to just what it is, though you will after you read this.

Chapter 44

Silver paths

Pressure against every inch of his face, he moaned, wondered what in hell could make him feel like that. It was just like being underwater...

His eyes snapped open, and his mind which had been chained down shrugged off those bonds forced on it. He shuddered as sensation came back to him, as memory returned. He had been resting in his tent, allowing Lloyd to tend to what needed tending without an audience, he had closed his eyes... and had been hit with enough mana to guarantee anyone else would have been out for a half year at least. As for why there was water all around him. The oppressive sticky pressure that stretched from chest to toes told him that someone had dragged him through the mud. That same someone was holding him by the hair, ready to pull his head out of the puddle they had put it in the second they saw bubbles come to the surface. He reached up with a hand, swatted the protozoan's snout and the teeth loosed their grip in his hair. He pulled himself to his feet, whipped off what he could of the filthy water and staggered to his feet.

"How long?" He croaked, catching himself as he slipped and turning around to look around in the clearing. Brown, there were little islands of brown, patches of root that poked out from mud and waters. Past that the rest of the world was a indeterminate shade of grey. Ice covered half of the puddles around him, frost slashed down the sides of trees, cold made his breath steam. What ever time it was, the clouds obscured the sun, what little bleached out light that was coming from the skies was only to see by and offered no warmth.  
A quick look at those clouds told him that the rains would come again. Gods were the spirits trying to take them all in a great flood? That's what it felt like these days; he whipped the mud off of his face and turned to the shivering protozoan.

"Where is he?"

Noishe backed up a step, shaken by the desperation in the seraphim's eyes. 

"Did you see anything at all?"

Noishe whimpered, shook his head frantically.

Muttering a few curses the seraphim worked off his tunic. The thing, once a shade of grey and disgustingly light was now brown and heavy. He fumbled with the buttons' cursed what ever guilt that had made him accept Dirk's offered clothes, and finally just ripped the damn thing in half and let it fall to the ground. Noishe closed his eyes, adverted his face, and put his massive ears over his face in an attempt to shield himself from the sight of Kratos' angelic transformation. For once Kratos didn't care for the protozoan's discomfort, he drew his wings, and after the pain had passed he dove into the weave. With his wings out he could better tap into the weave, could triple his reach, and using the weave as a kind of sense he followed the pulsing strains of life and power looking amongst the writhing bits of power and life until he found the one that pounded with a similar rhythm as he did. In this way he searched for his son more surely then he would if he were to wade in the track less mud or glide over the weeping trees.

He came back to himself with a searing headache. The residue thoughts of others that filled his mind were composed of fear, cold, and fury. Something had blocked him, all he could sense was that Lloyd was alive and when he had tried to catch a glimpse of the world from his son's eyes something had come in and shoved him out. And whatever it had been had been furious, protective... and hungry. It's hunger was a whirling vortex, a vortex that mimicked the black whirlpools that marked the various un-dead monsters he had let his mind brush against.

And whatever that thing was had his son...

He felt as if his mind was on fire, yet it was a slow fire, allowing for reason to sift through like smoke between the cracks of a building's walls. For a time, he knew in that detached corner of him that had always been with him since his first day as a seraphim, he had only so long before that slow fire ate him alive and took down everything around him.

"Noishe, find his scent!" Kratos snarled a sharp gesture on his part and he knocked the tent down with a gust of wind mana. Not the best way to do things but he was in a hurry. He picked up the bits of tent, wound the canvas around all their possessions that had happened to be in the tent and flew up to one of the trees. He lodged all of it in one of forks of that tree, slashed the trunk three times with his flamberge, and whirled onto the protozoan who was sniffing around in the mud with a slight grimace on his face. Noishe then threw his head back, howled, then dashed off to the south east...

Towards the Desian camp.

He kicked off the ground, flew. He allowed the protozoan to lead, his mind empty but of the mental touch he had with that monster. Fear, panic, terror, and rage built in him, he could almost taste smoke in the air and if he had but looked he would have seen why. The flamberge in his hand, the fires trapped in the steel, they writhed in a mad dance and leaked past that steel and set the air around it to smoldering.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

He was cold, so cold... No longer in Momma's arms he awoke on a flat rock set down with care in the exact center of that stone. He whimpered, rubbed his oww, it was sticky but not so wet. He frowned, looked around the muddy clearing, there weren't any trees here and the mud was a funny red-brown color. He frowned, remembered the last place that had been like that where all the scary men had been and the light... He shivered at that memory, gulped down on tears, but as if his near crying had called her Momma came back into the clearing. She looked so worried, and her feet not even squishing in the mud she came to him.

But then why would feet squish in the mud if she had wings? She didn't walk now, she flew. She flew to his side, a nice warm fuzzy blanket in her hands and he smiled as she bundled him up and drew him close. He opened his mouth to say something, to ask when Daddy was coming, but she only put a finger to his lips to shush him. When her finger pulled away from his lips a small glint of red was on it, a drop of liquid ruby. He looked up, confused, licked his lips and tasted something hot and yucky in his mouth. 

Once not so long time ago he had picked up Daddy's shiny stick. He always carried it around lots and he had almost gone out the door without it! He had run after Daddy, the shiny thing in his hands, blissfully ignorant of Mommy's shriek or Daddy's horrified eyes. Daddy had come to him, caught him before he fell on the rug and tripped and had taken it from his hands, he had looked lotses scared. Mommy had looked like she was gunna yell.

"Kratos how many times have I told you to not leave your knives lying around!"

"I didn't!" Daddy growled, sounding just like Noshy when he got his tail tugged. "He must have gone into my packs to fetch it. Lloyd never ever play with Daddy's knife! See, you hurt yourself!"

It was then Lloyd noticed the red ow on his arm, he kissed it hoping the ow would go away and tasted icky stuff in his mouth.

The same taste that was in his mouth now.

"Momma..." He tried to talk, but when she looked at him all his worlds fell away. She opened her arms, and he with a smile crawled into her embrace. He was safe, and the funny smell and taste weren't all that bad. He smiled looked up at her with adoring eyes, and she smiled back and pulled a strand of hair from his eyes. He blinked at the red stuff that fell into his eyes, ignored it, and sighed as Mommy drew the blanket around them both to keep them warm from the nasty rains. He was safe, home, and that's all that mattered.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

They were going back, slowly picking their way back to... To where he never wanted to go, back to where Anna had died.

_Rain plastered his clothes to him, threw his hair into his eyes, and he made no efforts to push that hair aside. He dug, felt the earth give way under his nails. It was little more then sludge now, so saturated by the waters the very every mineral was draining out of the earth leaving this layer of filth that gave way under his hands. A normal man would have tired; a normal man would have worked his hands bloody at this task, soft earth or no. His hands, they did not bleed, were not coated with his own blood. Sobbing, his tears ripped from his face by the eternal rains, he dug and dug. He scarred the earth only to watch numbly as water filled the pit and brought with it more mud. He cursed a litany of curses and hatred poured from his lips as he worked the earth that tried to undo his labors. ___

_So much blood so much that was not his own, it covered him in a scarlet robe. And the heavy hands that fell from heaven ripped it off of him so that it mingled with the worthless filth all around him... ___

Swallowing Kratos managed to keep the contents of his stomach down. He shoved that memory in the farthest corner of his mind and kept going forward. He snarled and swatted aside one of the lower branches of a tree, Noishe sniffed at the air, then stopped in the middle of a puddle. The protozoan was so affected by the chill he had lost the ability to feel anything it seemed, and now was only walking at Kratos' order. Any time the seraphim would turn his gaze away from Noishe the protozoan would sit and pant. It was too loud, the water and rains too fierce for even Kratos to hear the sound. It was the frantic clouds of white that told him what was going on. 

Even though he was unaffected by the cold and fatigue Kratos was well aware of his companions mortal limitations. He was also aware of how fiercely those limitations would constrict on his son's vitality.

"Can you go on?"

Noishe whimpered, lay down in a puddle, and that was answer enough for the seraphim. He met the protozoan's eyes and Noishe understood, he understood to not go on was to be left behind. Valiantly the dog shaped creature tried to find it's paws, but after one attempt only made him sink deeper in the mud he gave up with a half hearted whine.

Gods, he was killing his last friend in an attempt to save his son, he was a monster for that. And even as he thought that he knew he could not stop, he had to keep going so long as he could sense life in Lloyd through their link he had to keep going. He would not abandon his son no matter the cost. And it seemed as if Noishe felt that way too, the protozoan whined, jerked his snout in the direction that they had been traveling. Kratos grimaced, knelt in the filth and cast a quick spell over Noishe. Fire mana, healing mana, the first hissed around Noishe, settled around him like a cloak and banished the cold, the second poured into him, tended what damage it could offering an energy that would carry the recipient through a cold night. Then he was gone, walking away and trying not to feel those grateful brown eyes bore into him. Noishe should not have been grateful, should not have had accepted such a token gesture, yet he had.

Noishe accepted, forgave him, and perhaps agreed with his motives. It still did not make things easier.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

It was like walking into memory; he could hear the cry of seagulls, taste the salt laden air and hear the lap of waves. He closed his eyes, blocked out the sight of the wooden floors and walls with their ghostly white drapes that flapped in the winds. He could feel the caress of the wind on his skin, and it was the lack of intensity to that feeling that told him he was on the edge of a spell. He growled softly, fought down the power and its tempting images. When he opened his eyes he was back in the mud soaked clearing, his feet literally sinking in the soft earth. He grimaced, lifted a booted foot, worked it free then fought the other one loose. It was noisy way to go, and though his wings were out the rains had made them too heavy for him to fly. They dripped and hung limp, it was like wearing a second cloak, except this cloak hurt when it bumped into tree.

And there were plenty of trees all around.

He was close, so close, and fighting down pleasing images of the past he walked from a pleasant dream to nightmare. At first there was nothing wrong, he saw nothing in the clearing, it appeared as empty as any of the others. A bit of motion from a rock, a rock he had flattened or rather his mana had obliterated a few days ago caught his attention.

He blinked, a silver light flashed over his eyes, he wiped at his face with a mud soaked hand…

Yet there was no mud on his hand, why should there be? Working on the boats left him from time to time with tar on his tunic and he was normally careful enough to avoid getting the stuff on the rest of him. He blinked at another bit of sunlight flashed into his eyes, frowned in pain, but it was soon forgotten. Anna turned to him, smiled, resting in a bundle of blankets was Lloyd, sound asleep. That was strange, very strange, when Lloyd slept he normally was in his own bed and when he decided to take a nap on the floor Noishe laid besides him.

Something was wrong, even as Anna embraced him, kissed him on the cheek the feeling of wrongness would not go away. She blinked at the sight of his wings, frowned a little bit, and that told him that it wasn't just something that was wrong.

The whole situation was wrong.

This was, in all appearances their house in Izoold, and yet Lloyd had not been this old while they had lived there. A wind stirred and his sparrow tail cloak flapped, and that too was wrong. He never had worn his mercenary cloak while they had lived in Izoold. 

But most damning of all was Anna herself; he had dug her funeral pit with his own hands, had held her limp body to his own in the desperate hope that she would come back to him.

Knowing that his Anna was dead, even as he watched this imposter stand before him…. Gods it hurt. It made him bleed from his soul to see Anna apparently whole, even when he knew the truth that her body lay in the soft clay below his feet. From pain rouse anger, a fury that ran in him like fire and made him draw his sword.

Anna, this fake Anna went to Lloyd. She '_tried'_ to go to Lloyd. He growled, and though the mud almost made him lose his footing, intercepted her. And I was in the light of his wings that the illusion, the final illusion died. The things skin was a pale white, the color of bloodless skin, it was wrapped in a gown of moss, its wounds oozed green and yellow liquid like sluggish blood. Its' brown hair was a length of tangled, twisted, and mud splattered chaos. The whole thing, from head to toe was a standing dedication to death, decay. It cocked its' head to the side as if to ask why he was standing in its way. The monster's lips moved, yet a gash in its throat done by some scavenger- told him why he heard nothing. He could see the rotted voice box and slashed vocal cords, and from that gash he could see in the things lungs were filled with water. It was dead, had been dead and by the looks of it -the vague shape of it told Kratos it might have once been a her- since the storms.

"I will not let you take my son from me." He whispered leveling his sword at the abomination. Something nagged at him however, the wounds were familiar. "Go back to the pit that spawned you."

It flinched at his words, reached up with a hand to touch his face. He took a step back; and it again only responded by cocking its ghostly head to the side. Its white glassy eyes bored into his; he could almost hear its confused protest.

"Look at him!" Kratos heard himself scream, by the light of his wings the illusion of Lloyd was banished, or rather the illusion that had masked the true reality of his son's state. He was cut, looked as if he had been whipped with a thorn bush. His face was covered in small slashes and three very nasty looking gashes ran along his son's back. Blood dripped from a bite mark on his son's forehead, and that same blood dripped from the thing's clawed hands and mouth. "Whatever the hell you think you are know that you are not my wife, this is not your son, my wife is dead you hear me! Dead, she died, Kvar killed her!"

"Oh come now Kratos," Hissed a silken voice, he whirled on his heal, as did the monster. Mithos smiled at his ex-lieutenant, his wings and robes were untouched by the rains that fell from the sky. "I've taken all the trouble to bring your wife back and you denounce her? What kind of man are you?"

"Brought her back?" Kratos whispered, and looked at the undead creature, and felt his legs buckle as the truth came onto him with the force of a hammer. "No… this can't be happening…" He wanted to be ill, to scream, and all he could do was slump weakly into the mud.

"She won't die anymore, she's all but immortal old friend, and she's even become a seraphim of sorts." Mithos said with a smirk on his lips, he laughed, and somewhere between one rich adult's chortle his voice changed, grew higher in pitch, shrill. "Show him your wings Anna my dear."

Anna stepped back, stepped out of the light of the angel's wings and again looked as she had in life. Her human face was twisted in terror. She reached and felt herself and knowing the truth. Tears, all illusion, fell from her face and she looked to Mithos with an expression of pure hatred. It was a look that Kratos also sent to the leader of Cruxis way, hatred, it was a raw bleeding hatred that only saw the ancient hero of the Kharlan war as a target.

Mithos seemed ignorant of it all, smug and arrogant as if he had done some great act of good.

"She's immortal, you can dally with her as much as you like brother, and so long as you don't make a show of your wings in front of your son he will never know that she's different. But…" Mithos put a slender finger under his chin and wore a look of mock concern. "There is one little issue of the demon seed isn't there… She'll have to kill people to stay alive, to maintain the illusion that was wove around her and to appease the seed's hunger. That could be a problem couldn't it? But you both love each other, so I imagine you'll find some way to make it work out. After all when you are wed aren't you supposed to support each other and honor each other in life and in death? I guess you'd both be supporting each other in matters of life and death, only a slight difference really. A shame you came here when you did, I had meant to finish the procedure with your son. Think of it as a gift if you will, to coax you back to the fold my brother."

"You bastard!" Kratos hissed, struggling to his feet. "A gift, making a mockery of my wife, killing my son is a _gift_! If it is a gift allow me to freely return the favor!" He did not need the chant, only made a slight gesture and the very earth rose up to rip Mithos Yggdrasil apart. Shards of curved earth rose out of the mud, slammed into the leader of Cruxis, and the boy angel winced in pain as he was struck with enough force to kill any other man.

"This is the thanks I receive?" Mithos whispered from his prison of stone, with a bit of squirming the boy managed to free an arm and make a sharp gesture. Bolts of lightning blasted into the rock, pounded it into a pile of pebbles, he calmly brushed the dust from his glossy white skin tight tunic and pants. "Is this the thanks I receive for tending to something you did not have the nerve to attend yourself?"

"No," Kratos advanced on the man once called a hero. "This is." He swung his sword, feeling nothing more then the need to cut Mithos in half."

Snarling an oath the boy made a gesture, summoned a purple blade out of nothingness. Flamberge smashed into the Eternal. Fire met the undiluted essence of the cosmos and was turned aside. It was not by the strength of the wielder of Eternal but the power of another being that protected him. Kratos brought the blade around, swinging with both arms, trying in his madness to cut through the Eternal sword. No such luck, again and again that power held him back.

"Damn it Origin, allow me to redeem my self, to protect my own from this monster!" He screamed, not caring that Mithos could hear every word that fell from his lips.

_The pact;_ came that soft voice that shook him to his very bones. _I shall not forsake it yet._

"Yet!" Mithos howled, "I have kept my oath, you have no way nor cause to break your oath!"

_This I think is cause enough._ Origin's voice was cool as the ice shrouded peaks of Falnoir's mountains, and filled with anger. _Your oath is broken Mithos Yggdrasil, not the word, but the very spirit has become perverted. _Pity filled the Forger's next words. _Now is not the time he who shall be the wielder of my power is not yet come to his power, the time though is close._

"You will not forsake me, I shall keep my oath!" Mithos screamed, only silence answered him. Mithos howled in pain as claws sank into his back, snarling the leader of Cruxis looked into the face of death. Death he had made, sculpted, and watched in horror as that dead woman who was technically in his control twisted her claws and made the wound larger. He managed a slight choked gasp when Kratos' blade slammed into his gut, then slashed across his face. The claws released him and he staggered back sporting a massive gash in his back, a cut over his eyes, and a gut wound that burned into him with a ferocity that was matched by the fires that wrapped around Kratos' sword.

But that fire and pain paled in comparison to the fires that burned in Kratos' eyes and Anna's lifeless orbs.

Mithos grunted, staggered back, he wasn't dead, he was kept safe from dieing… but not from pain. He felt the wounds in him already starting to mend by way of Origin's power, but the pain lingered.

_One turn deserves another, you have perverted your oath by the means you keep it as have I_.

"Damn you all!" Mithos howled a bolt of light rested in his hand. He cast it at the only person he was sure he could hurt; he leveled it at Lloyd's limp form and released it.

"No!" Kratos dove in the way of the light, but was beat to it by Anna. Her lifeless body took the angelic mana, and was sent flying. The seraphim winced as his lover's form smashed into a tree, he whirled on the monster who had done this to him… to them. Mithos lifted the Eternal sword, and gapped in shock as the blade returned to the ethers it had been formed from.

_My oath, I hold to the word and no longer the spirit and that spirit is bound to the soul of the seal. The blade will no longer come to your beck and call. Only when _I_ agree with the end you wish to make with power of _my_ sword will it appear before you._

Kratos chuckled at his leader's expression having heard the words too.

"I have told you a thousand times boy, do not play God, there are grave consequences for it." His voice was cool, so much like the tone he had used when mentoring a child with the pure heart that he had come to respect. There was ice in his voice this time, an ice that had never been in his voice before when he had addressed Mithos. Ice was in his soul and the fire of hate in his eyes. Kratos swung his blade, left a gash in the boy's shoulder that mended before the blade had even been free from its sheath of flesh for a second. "Grant me immortality, a god's power, with these I will bring the end of racism and hate, remember asking for that?" The blade smashed into Mithos' leg with enough force to leave bruises. "Tell me boy are you enjoying your immortality, I am." The blade descended, dug into another painful spot then was wrenched out with a crimson spray.

_Enough_

Kratos sheathed his sword, far from satisfied. Mithos lay twitching in the mud, little more then a beaten dog. He whimpered and groveled from pain, gasped out pleas that he be forgiven. There was no forgiveness in Kratos' soul, only undying hared.

"How long?" Kratos snapped at the air, knowing that Origin would answer to him now. The spirit of creation would be willing to answer his questions instead of Yggdrasil's. "How long will be feel the bite of my blade?"

_Until he dies_

"Not long enough." Kratos hissed, he looked to his undead wife and wounded son. "It's not long enough."

_It will have to serve._

Kratos walked to the boy's side, then turned him over with a sharp kick, with tear filled eyes the boy looked up to his mentor, thinking himself still wounded no doubt.

"Help me Kratos… please…"

"Go to Hell Yggdrasil," Kratos turned from the boy, ignored his pathetic whimpers and half strangled cries for Martel. A child's cries, a false child's cries, for he knew how a true child sounded, he knew the purity of a true child. As a father he knew that one truth.

He went to his son, picked his limp boy from the puddle he had collapsed in, and working his cloak as part blanket part rain coat, Kratos carried his son in his arms. Anna followed behind him, or rather the shell that held the last of her awareness.

And together they walked away from the howling and tortured leader of Cruxis.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Noishe growled at Anna, his mane flared and he made move to attack her. Kratos barked a few words in Angelic and the protozoan sat down on his haunches with a whine. He explained the situation as best as he could, and watched Noishe's dog shaped face register confusion, then hate, then sadness. Noishe whimpered at Anna as if to apologize, but wisely did not go to her and kept a distance from her. It was wise, but the pain Anna's lifeless face registered wrung at Kratos' heart. He set Lloyd on Noishe's back and walked besides her trying to keep his own pain from his face. He was surprised when she tugged at his sleeve to get his attention. Having his attention she then -with a gentle hand- she took his wrist, and turned his hand over. Her white eyes met his and she looked at him in a way that should have told him what she wanted.

He hesitantly opened his hand, unclenched his fingers, and tried his best not to stiffen up as a yellow claw bushed against his palm. It took him a second to realize she was writing it was only after the first two words were done, that he came to realize what she wanted. He shook his head, clenched his fingers.

"No, there is a way to restore you to yourself; all I have to do is find it." She forced his fingers to unclench with a strength that surpassed his own, and then wrote another word, and it set his blood to ice. "It won't take long, I promise and…"

Another word, one word that coupled with the previous made him shiver.

_Hunger…. Time?_

"We have time and…"

_No time, must before Lloyd…_

"No! I wont do it, I wont kill you twice!"

She looked at him; her whole front was covered in soot and ash. Even her face was scorched away and all that remained whole was her eyes. She met his gaze, reached again for his sleeve. Her hand left bits of scorched flesh, she smelled like rotting flesh, or a slaughter house left a flame. He gulped down on his nausea, ordered himself to remain calm, and again offered his hand.

_I not me, not self, kill me_

"No." His voice caught in his throat, choked him.

_Must.. Mithos put in to kill You Lloyd can't fight it long. Please… must._

"No!" It was a tortured cry of a man hanging over the abyss as he sees his last line coming undone thread by thread. "I wont hurt you, I wont kill you, don't ask that of me!"

"Howl!"

Kratos whipped around and Noishe hopped back as an arrow snapped out of the darkness and two Desian's strolled out of the shadows. A few more seemed to materialize out of nothing, they made a forest of their own, a forest of crossbows and swords. A forest of targets. The seraphim drew his sword; his eyes scanned the Desian's his soul screaming at him to kill them all.

These were Kvar's men; they wore the grand cardinal's colors. One of them, a wizard by his steel staff, stepped away from his fellows.

"On order of Lord Kvar, Kratos Aurion and Lloyd Aurion are to come with us."

Kratos' answer came from the heavens; a bolt of pure light incinerated the Desian so fast the man didn't even have the time to scream.

"That," Kratos hissed. "Is my answer." His wings flared out behind him, they shivered with suppressed power. "As well as this," he flapped them sharply, and three razor sharp feathers fell from his wings and shot across the clearing and imbedded in the throats of three of the archers. "How many men do you have?" He rasped, eyes burning with an insanity that made Noishe gulp and slide a little closer to Anna. "As many as I can kill?"

Leaderless they rushed out of their hiding places, leaderless they attacked with wild abandon, and so they died an undisciplined mob. He cut through them with the ease of a farmer mowing down grain with a scythe. A few screams told him that Anna was had taken one Desian out of the fight. He toned that out as best he could, let his rage pour into him and he released it on these beasts. They fell; their blood a second rain for earth this day. Noishe's howl made him turn, the protozoan's ears were slicked back and he cringed back from Anna. Kratos charged forward, brought his sword around, ad using the flat blocked Anna's claws from killing Lloyd. She let out a great blast of air, an attempted roar or moan of some kind… No the monster threw its challenge at him, and it charged. He blocked the first pass of the claws was grazed by the second, and was able to catch her two handed downward swipe with his blade. Her claws were caught in one of the ridged in his sword, and the mindless beast in control was trying to force the seraphim's arm down.

"Anna!" Kratos barked, his wings shivered as he was ready to cast an angelic spell but could not get himself to release the pent up power. "Anna come back to me!"

She shivered, and slowly unhooked her claws from the edge of his sword. She stood there, silent in a way only the dead could be and she watched as he had checked on Noishe and bound up a wounded paw then checked to on Lloyd. He sighed in relief, their son was still in a deep magic induced sleep. When that was all done Kratos went to look for Anna, he had heard her shuffle of while he was tending Noishe's paw. He found her crouched by a puddle, staring at herself with those empty white eyes. She looked to him, in the struggle his sword had sheared away part of her face, revealed blackened bone, but despite that he could read the desperation that radiated off of her. Despite her mask of blood that was not her own and rot that was slowly destroying her he could see her despair.

And it was then, sensing the beast under her skin, feeling I trying to take control and make her turn on him he lost all his will to deny her any longer.

He sank to his knees besides her, and she looked up at him with a hope, a need, and he could not deny her.

"Tonight, I promise my love, tonight we will end it."

He tried his best not to shiver as she caressed his cheek with a wasted claw, and by the thinnest of margins managed to keep his revulsion to himself.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Lloyd lay still by the fire, his arms pillowed his head and he was wrapped in a multitude of blankets and his father's cloak. Noishe lay besides him, eyes and awareness closed to the world. The rains would not be coming this night; it had seemed as if the gods were granting them that in the least. There would be no rains tonight. The stars hung above them, a multitude of flashing lights. It was not too different from that night so long ago and yet only four years in the past. She did not hold his hand, but walked close to him. The stars in their eternal indifference to a mortal's pain glowed with a light better suited to two lovers taking a stroll out in the woods.

Damn them, damn Mithos for doing this to him! He shivered in rage, yet it was an impotent rage, he could not strike out against the bastard who was cause of all his pain until this champion came to be. No not a champion, a chosen one. He smirked at the irony of the situation. Here Cruxis picked one innocent to be their Chosen and behind the back of the most powerful organization the Summon Spirits had their own Chosen.

She tugged on his sleeve and he explained his thoughts as best he could, she only shook her head and set a small rain of ash to the ground. He then understood what she wanted. It was time, she wanted this over with. She wanted to die to protect those she loved. He allowed her to take his hand, allowed her wasted fingers to brush against his palm.

_Love you… I am sorry_

"It was not your fault." He whispered, looking into her destroyed face and again mentally cursing Mithos more pain to his wounds. "I will find and protect this Chosen one of the Summon Spirits, I will have a hand in stopping the Regeneration that is to come… At least for Sylvarant, Tethe'alla's Chosen can go through the process if he is bent on it." Kratos closed his eyes. "I will take care of Lloyd; I will do my best for his sake, and for yours my love."

_Noshy_

Kratos chuckled. "Yes I will take care of Noishe as well, though he seems to be taking care of me more often then not."

She merely drew a smiley face on his palm, no longer having lips to make the gesture herself. He swallowed, ordered himself not to break down into tears.

_You have to stop this… Stop Mithos… Cruxis… Desians… Fix worlds… I want to stay and help but can't…_

"I know my love; I understand and don't grudge you this in the least." He gulped. "I was being a greedy bastard and made you wait a few hours, I shouldn't have, and for that I apologize."

_Love you_

He trembled, and looked to her with tears in his eyes. Shaking he fought his way to his feet. She only looked to the sky, did not rise. He did not draw his sword, did no strike her down with steel. They had agreed that since he did not know how to kill an undead monster without bringing pain that a spell would be cast. His most powerful spell, judgment… the angelic mana would be enough to turn her into little more then ash in a heartbeat. One second of pain and nothing thereafter.

And for him and Lloyd a life of pain a life of loss and an aching emptiness would await them in the dawn.

He'd be damned though if he let her know of that. Closing his eyes he drew his wings, drawing power and allowing the words to fall from his lips.

"Askan fa Derris syi, luas fale gnost si ust magifis! Rerostera undie falier reros shadine, luas fale shads soule. Fair ase sith tus ust Derris Askan. Askanast!"

"Light of holy sky, grace this earth with your splendor! Bring back the purity that has been lost, grace this benighted soul. On swift wings their passing will be way of your holy light! Judgment!"

And the light of the heavens came down, a soft sigh on the wind, and he could not longer see the monster that had taken Anna from him, could only see the blinding light and the flecks of blue feathers that danced on unfelt winds. He shielded his eyes from the glare, and when it was gone… Nothing, the scant grass that had grown on the cliff was simply not there, it was as if every living thing that was in that light was gone. Not even ashes remained… only those feathers; they spun in an eerie soundless dance across the brown earth and grudgingly were pulled down.

He sank to his knees with a gasp of pain, of loss, sank to his knees and felt in the soft earth press against him. His tears traced silver paths down his cheeks; fell into the earth, which in its bloated state rejected them. He gasped, this time in physical pain; he ripped at his pants, fished out the two items that now wafted smoke. On a trembling hand he held Anna's Cruxis Crystal and her Ex-sphere. For one horrid moment he thought they were going to melt in his hand, but there was merely a flash of light, and the flecks of silver blue glowed with a light similar to his wings. Then nothing, the light faded away to little more then a memory. Hesitantly he slipped the stones back into his pocket, and for a long moment he wondered, a howl that belonged to no wolf broke him from his thoughts and set him to running back to the camp, a chill of apprehension in his heat.


	45. the keeping of an oath

To my readers,

I lost my copy of Kratos' song in Angelic… yes Kratos does sing don't look at me like that! Anyways this is the end, and it explains the one thing that really rankled me in the Falnoir scene. Kratos tells one story, Dirk another, and they both have a glaring inconsistency. In Kratos' story Anna is in her "other" form and falls from a cliff. In Dirk's he find's Lloyd and Anna and talks to Anna. Now short of her doing a StarWars like message with her ex-sphere (Help us Obi-wan-Kenobi!) Anna was in her monstrous form but Dirk implies rather heavily that she was human. So, either Anna did a star wars impersonation with her ex-sphere, or turned back to her old form. And well her turning back just seems so… well "Bad Form" is the nicest criticism I can give the scenario. It opens up a can of questions that would add another twenty chapters to this fic… Like why didn't Dirk use an apple jell on her and if he did would she turn into a monster again once healed. The mechanics alone would be a pain in the tail to explain without doing an information dump, and since I hate info dumps, I have made a new explanation which you will have to live with. This is more or less a bitter sweet chapter. Concerning the epilogue, if anyone is interested in wanting just a little bit more when I'm done here then I will put it up, but I'd like someone to express some interest. After all 45 chapters is one heck of a long read and I don't want to over do it you know?

KasanSoulblade

ArkNavy: Congrad, to reward you I have put my response to your review first. I'll fix the paragraph when I can

MoonCannon: check your PM's at the TOS forum… I sent you a response there. I hope you like this chapter as well.

GameCubeirl1: Yeah it was kind of intense, I think this one is too, only more so. Check out my author's note above.

Chapter 45

The keeping of an oath, the breaking of a soul

He was little more then a ghost of himself. Once a thin man he looked like a corpse, his grey hair with it's rare streaks of brown was now little more then a memory. He was now sported a silver mane with white streaks running through it. Once sharp edged with slits for eyes and a mouth his face was a mess of angles and cave-ins. His checks were carved pits that made his jaw and facial bones look like sharp ridges. His face once regally pale was the same hue of a bloodless corpse, and his steel grey eyes once mere slits were wide, wild. Once there had been a hint of rationality, even in the face of obsession or dark lust there had been a shred of reason, and now there was nothing. Nothing but the mad want, the intense need, and being the target of both Lloyd was more then a little scared.

"Come here my boy." Kvar hissed, his voice too was changed, a dry rasp like dead leaves being blown across stone. "Come here my son."

Too scared to shriek the defiance that was in his heart the boy scrambled back. He did not have the courage to find his feet and run, the shaking was too much for that. So on his rump he scrambled kicked with his small feet and shoved off the earth with his hands and in doing so was slowly sliding back on the mud away from the man who was claiming to be his father. He made a wide track, a drag mark, much like a snake's, but the churned up mud on both sides of the mark proved it to be human. He was shaking, looking into those eyes and still scrambling back, though his rump was all cold and he could feel the roots of a tree gouging him.

"You don't recognize me; I know I am different…" Kvar rasped his eyes as wide as they could be. Starlight shone across them, made them glitter in a way that was even scarier. They did not look like a normal person's eyes now, not with the wideness and the surreal glint in them. "It's all the fault of the bad man I told you about, but I kept my promise, I came back for you. Don't you remember? I promised I'd keep you safe my boy, and I've come to do just that."

"No." Lloyd whispered, trying with all his might to go through the tree in his need to get away. "No!" Somewhere he found it in him to scream. "No! No! Leave me alone! Daddy! Help! Desian!"

"Silence!" Kvar roared, rising out of his stooped over posture and with drawing the hand he had used to beckon Lloyd over to his side. "I will hear nothing of this usurper, this charlatan that you claim is your father is little more then a monster a murderer!" Kvar's eyes slid shut. "That's why I am here, to take you away, to make you safe. He's hurt you my boy, turned you against me, but you will remember what you are…" Kvar shivered, his eyes opened again and reflected Lloyd's terror filled face, and he dropped his voice to the barest of whispers. "I know you Lloyd, of you, your very name screams to me. Your very self calls out and because of what I am I have ways of hearing it. That's how I found you, and even though I am very sick because that monster hurt me I've come for you."

Kvar was ignorant of how his bodyguard adverted there eyes, he was unaware of the pitying looks that they shot to Lloyd. Though these same guards had held children in their arms and killed them in front of their parents there was something so vile about this, about Kvar's plan that it disgusted them. They knew everything of course, since awakening in a crater with smoldering bits of his men about him he had been speaking in his delirium of one thing and one thing alone. A name had been falling from his lips, a name the healers had first though of some sib, a father, time had proven that healer wrong. It was a child's name, his child if you believed him, and now looking at this obviously human youth it was as clear as the clouds were many that this was not Kvar's flesh and blood.

One man had dared question, one man had protested, and now his remains smoldered in a puddle. That puddle was steaming, tuning into vapor as the roasted body made it evaporate. After that pointed example the men remained silent, and watched the exchange between this other man's child and Kvar. At first it was embarrassment, they served a mad man and it was obvious to all to see that Kvar was indeed now totally obsessed. A few of the braver ones were toying with the idea of killing the old man later on, taking the power that Kvar had no right to because of what state he was in. That had faded, all ambition faded from the braver men's hearts as this exchange went on and on.

And it never seemed to end.

Pity, disgust, horror flitted across those normally expressionless faces, filled the souls of those soulless men. The boy was shivering in terror, in cold, his lips were fast turning blue, and still he had his hands gouged into the tree's harsh bark, refusing to go near the infuriated Kvar. He knew what was coming if the Desian Lord managed to get him in hand, he recalled the headaches, the ice, and the sick twisting that was only in his head. Though Daddy had tried and tried to make him forget over and over again Lloyd could not forget.

Noshy had run off, sniffed the air and had bolted, howling in fear. Lloyd had been scared; left alone he had cried and held himself by the fire. It was then that the men in black with shiny heads came to the camp. Lloyd had tried to run, had tripped in the mud and owwed his knees. That had made him cry harder and a familiar voice had spoken, had move to heal his hurts. Lloyd had looked up, recognized the bad man, and had tried to run despite his hurts. Fear had made him crawl; made him crawl-run, and now he was alone with no Daddy, no Noshy, and only Kvar and the other bad men.

"He's turned you against me." Kvar was no longer going to wait his patience was spent in full, he walked towards Lloyd, his hand clenching into fists. "He's made you bad my boy and so I'm going to fix that right…"

"Kvar! Leave him alone!" Lloyd whimpered, seemed to sag in relief. "Leave my son alone!" Wings still drawn the seraphim, the angel of death, stormed into the clearing. The seraphim all but ripped his sword from its sheath; his eyes were insane as well. It was the breed of insanity that made you start looking for places to hide. One of Kvar's guards moved with that very thought in mind, a blast of lightning mana made him drop that idea and all others. Two corpses smoldered, set the air to smoking and the water to the skies.

"All acts of cowardice are punishable by death." The Desian Cardinal hissed. "Attack, kill him!"

A cornered rat is the most desperate of animals. A rat lacking a corner who feels cornered is the most desperate of all. Death before them death behind the Desian's charged intent on saving their own lives by facing the lesser of the two evils. They should have ran in the other direction.

The fastest met him first, and therefore met death first. With one pass of his sword the seraphim cut the man in half. Two more swordsmen came at him while a crossbow man with a little more sense then his fellows dropped his dagger and lifted his bow. Kratos' wings trembled with pent up power, he smashed his shield into the face of his foe to the left, did a quick spin on his heal and blade leading his cut off the head of the Desian to his right. Slamming his sword into the ground the warrior grabbed his stunned opponent and used him to catch the arrows from the achers attack. The man who served as shield gasped, shuddered, then breathed his last in Kratos' bloody handed grasp. Letting the carrion fall to the earth Kratos flicked his wings, three silver blue feathers arched across the clearing with a hiss. The crossbowman fell, a feather in his throat, one piercing his heart, and another sticking out of his head. A cry, mechanical, frantic, Kratos whirled on one of the Desian's, a scout by his garb, who was frantically calling for back up on a piece of magi technology. Kratos pulled a dagger from his boot, threw, and the cries stopped, but as the small hand sized box hit the ground and a button on its top flashed red. The call had gone through, the Desian forces would come in this direction. He leveled his hand at the box, an orb of fire streaked across the clearing, consumed it, and with a hiss it became little more then a pile of ashes in a heart beat.

"They know Kratos, you can't run forever, they will catch you, and when they do I will take what is mine!" Kvar teleported out of the clearing, and just in time too, another orb of fire smashed into the ground where he had been standing, and had he been there. Well the world would have been a much better place.

Lloyd looked around the clearing, at the blood and bodies, and with a soft whimper he broke down and cried.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

…_your very name screams to me. Your very self calls out and because of what I am I have ways of hearing it._

Kratos shivered as those words ran through his head and stole what little peace he had managed to garner them for the night. Lloyd lay in his lap, had been so hesitant to even be touched by his father for the longest time. The wings, the blood, it was ripping them apart. What he was was destroying what he had with his son. Anna had understood, been uneasy about it all, but she had understood and accepted. Yet she was an adult, Lloyd a child, a child who had seen far too much already.

His greatest fear was coming to pass, his love for his son, his staying with his boy, was destroying him.

"I have made a mistake, somewhere I have made a mistake."

His only awake companion lifted a huge jagged looking ear and gave it a flick. Yawning, the protozoan found his paws, arched his back, and smacked his teeth together in a manner that a man might smack his lips together on awakening. One bite of those jaws could kill Lloyd, one bite of those jaws could take Kratos' arm from him, and yet the owner of those jaws spent a lot of his time running from everything now.

Noishe turned to him, and with a gaze more suited to a rabbit met his eyes.

"I am killing him Noishe, my presence only draws monsters like Kvar to him. It might have been better perhaps if he had died under Anna's claws, or was just… dead…." Kratos closed his eyes, cursed his weak heart. "At least he would not be hurt, but I can not, I can no hurt him and yet allowing him to live like this is hurting him. What can I do?"

Noishe only stared at him; a similar hopelessness on the protozoan's face.

"If… if I were to… If I were to do what Kvar did to him… but perhaps in a different way?" Kratos closed his eyes as breath of a twisted though formed in his mind. But in desperation it was beginning to look like a shard of hope. "I could keep him safe if I did and the only one I would hurt would be myself, no one else would feel pain from my actions and I could give him what I promised. A safe… normal… life…."

Noishe met his gaze, a look of deep concern in his eyes.

Kratos could not meet that gaze, could not tell the protozoan anything for he might intervene.

"Go back to bed Noishe." Kratos stared at the banked fire he had made, his voice and eyes equally dead. "Leave me to my thoughts, leave me alone, for my thoughts are best dwelled on alone."

Noishe whined, shook his head, and started to stand. It was Noishe's plan go to him, to persuade him without words that he was skirting on the edge of madness with these thoughts. If that was the case however wasn't that his decision? Kratos ignored the heavy weight that settled on the knee that Lloyd was not perched upon. Even an insistent whine did not make his break his intent staring that the grotto's walls. Noishe closed his eyes, whimpered again, then yalped when he was smacked.

"You will wake Lloyd, go back to where you were and leave us be."

Ears slicked back in pain and shame the protozoan went to his paws and padded over to the fire.

_Forgive me_ Kratos thought to the limping protozoan, but with no power behind the words they remained in his mind alone and echoed in the emptiness that was fast in growing their. That same emptiness was also growing in his soul, an emptiness that would define him for the rest of eternity. _If there is anyway for you and Lloyd to forgive me then I beg that you do so when I am once again worthy of that forgiveness. _A log snapped, at that breaking a length of sparks rose to the top of the miniature cavern's ceiling and turned the cave into a crimson nightmare.

Fitting, all in all it was very fitting.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Daddy we goin' to Iselia, isn' it thata way?"

"No," Kratos smiled, though there were sad wet star sparklies in his eyes. "No I have another destination in mind."

"But Daddy this ways the dwarfes house!"

"I know Lloyd, we need more supplies and since Iselia is too dangerous I plan on talking to Dirk and seeing if there isn't a smaller village nearby that will be able to get supplies at."

Lloyd frowned, though it over. It didn't make much sense, it seemed awful silly to go back and forth and back, but then Daddy was silly sometimes. But Daddy was really really smart, maybe Lloyd was just bein' a little dumb and not knowin' about this adult stuff. Lloyd decided two things then; trust Daddy no matter what, and to try to learn adult stuff as fast as he could so he could help too. Lloyd was having a hard time keeping up with Daddy, Daddy was walking really fast, but with all the bad people around maybe they had to. Lloyd didn't say nothing though, just kind of ran-walked and kept Daddy's funny cloak in sight. Suddenly he smiled, and for no reason gave the sharp looking ends a tug.

Daddy coughed, made some funny noises, and Lloyd tugged on the pointy looking fabric then flapped it like he'd seen a person in the snow place flap a rope at a horsie to make it run really fast.

"Multch!" Lloyd chirped; making the cloak flap again with that weird tug he'd seen the carriage driver give the horsies leash.

"Multch?" Daddy laughed softly. "The term is mush Lloyd, and you say it to a dog you want to run fast, not a person."

"Multch! Mush!" Lloyd said to Noishe, Noishe rolled his eyes just like Daddy did sometimes and whined.

"Lloyd, Noishe doesn't feel up to running, his paw is hurt."

"Aww a ride?"

Noishe shook his head, but Lloyd wasn't looking at his doggie, he was looking to Daddy. Daddy looked away, the wet things still in his eyes. Lloyd gave a very firm tug on Daddy's cape and Daddy turned to him. Daddy was being so silly, why didn't he see what Lloyd wanted? Maybe his heart sick was being bad today, well Lloyd knew how to fix that!

"Daddy ride?"

"Not now Lloyd."

Daddy was being really silly today Lloyd decided, and then he chose to use a trick Mommy always used. He widened his eyes as big as he could get then, scuffed a small foot on the wet ground and looked up into Daddy's face.

"Pleeease!"

"Later, I promise." Daddy blinked a few times, swallowed once.

"But my feet are really really cold!"

"Lloyd." Daddy's voice was funny, all tight and strange… and it scared Lloyd just a little bit. "I am feeling very sick right now, I can not carry you, do not ask again."

"Yes Daddy…" Lloyd bowed his head, and looked up surprised to feel Daddy run a hand through his hair.

"You aren't being bad Lloyd; I just… hurt right now. I promise before tonight's done I'll be fine."

"Yes Daddy." Lloyd let go of Daddy's cape and went back to following Daddy.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

Dirk opened the door after the second knock. He stared in shock at his old guests, and like the time before moved out of the way as Kratos swept in. He watched as Lloyd scampered behind his father and watch in shock as the huge dog creature limped in.

"We met some trouble on the road." Was all the seraphim said in a terse tone. "I am afraid I will have to abuse your hospitality again one last time. If I may prepare a fire and a meal for… Lloyd and my traveling companion?"

_He didn't say 'my son' he called the boy by his name_. Dirk suppressed a chill at the tall human's icy tone.

"No you don't! I'll be doing the cookin' lad, Dwarven Vow number two; _always help someone in need_."

"Humph," the seraphim was staring at him with an intensity that made Dirk's skin crawl. "Passable, yes, to think that this is my last recourse if it weren't... But I have no choice now, none…"

"If you're feeling that touchy about the food, don't, I'm a decent huntsman and farmer and my trade brings in enough money to pay for the feed of a bloody army."

Kratos' raised an eyebrow, appearing regal and majestic despite the fact his clothes were covered in filth and slashed to by sword and singed by fire. The gesture and expression said without words that Dirk was missing something, something huge… The dwarf shivered, excused himself, and set about to the kitchen to prepare a meal. And every second of that time since the man stepped into his house he could feel those eyes measuring him, to what or for what he had no clue.

Lunch was gone, a fond memory to both Lloyd and Dirk. Kratos only toyed with his spoon, took one bite, then with a grimace set the stew aside.

He had spent the meal saying nothing, encouraging Lloyd to talk to the dwarf, and watching, always watching. Dirk decided then and there enough was enough.

"Excuse me lad but I be needing some help upstairs, doing some touch up in the guest bedroom I'm building there, I was hopping seeing as you're a bit taller then me you could lend a hand."

"Of course, Lloyd why don't you and Noishe take a nap, we will be leaving again at night."

"Like Hell you are!" Dirk flared; slamming a spoon into the table with such force I flew from his hand and clattered against the wooden floor. "Last time you went something happened else you wouldn't be here…" Dirk strangled, coughed, and the seraphim stood and with a show of totally false concern led the dwarf out of the room. On the stair way the coughing stopped, Dirk glared daggers at his guest.

"Magicing the host is not the proper way to be what-ever your name is."

"A necessary evil, come, we have much to discuss." Kratos went up the stairs and opened the attic's door. Kratos climbed up the latter that slid down from the trap door, scrambled up each step with great care for his cape, than stood. A whistle came from the seraphim, and Dirk who was struggling along behind the man grinned.

"Impressed are you lad?" He puffed as he fought his way into the room. "Why'd think I had all that odd and end nails and stuff out?"

Kratos stood besides a complete human sized bed and was openly admiring the wood work. The man drifted around the room, eyed the rocking chair, at the stool he frowned.

"The support is weak." Kratos gave the stool a sharp shake and it wobbled.

"A cast off, I'm planning to fix it when I can."

"Ah, very good, then his might not be as hard as I thought it would be." Kratos went to the chair and sank down wearily. "You might be wondering why I am back all of a sudden, especially since we left on such vile terms."

"I might be." Dirk hopped up onto the bed, his legs hung over the floor no few inches.

"And I though I didn't mince words." Kratos lips curled into a dark and twisted smile. That smile set the dwarf's blood to ice. "We were attacked, I have one of the most powerful Desian Cardinal's on my tail wanting to take my son from me, and the leader of Cruxis sent the reanimated corpse of my wife after us." Kratos closed his eyes and shuddered in remembered pain, and when he opened them and stared at Dirk the dwarf shivered. There was a look to him, the same look a wounded bird wore when its wounds were so great it could no longer fly. He'd tried to save one of them, watched it die, he had watched it throw itself against a cage until it broke its own neck. Kratos and that bird, there was no difference between them, none at all.

"I am sorry about your wife sir but I don't see-"

"No, you don't do you?" Kratos leaned back, closed his eyes. "Tell me, do you love my son?"

There was a silence that stretched between both men; it felt important to Dirk, that what he filled it with would change everything.

"Your son is a good lad, I like him."

"That is not what I asked." A frown touched those fierce features, made the man look something like a hunting animal. "Do you love him, and know if you say no I will go down stairs and slash his throat."

"Like Hell you will!" Dirk hopped off the bed, fists clenched, ready to take this self proclaimed angel to his death bed if need be to save the boy's life. He might die but it didn't mater so long as the boy was safe.

"At ease Dirk, it was a test, and your thoughts have revealed all I need to know." The frown deepened, became pained. "Yes, this will work; I know you will keep him safe though I can not."

"What in Hell are you talking about?"

"I am keeping my oath… though it may destroy me I am keeping my oath to my son and wife. Tell me what you need done to his room, in detail and it will be done when you wake up. Oh and make some sort of accommodations for a animal to be kept in this room, they are loath to be separated from one another and they will need each other all the more after this is all over."

"What in Hell are you talking about!"

"I tried to do this in a gentle manner." Kratos stood with a grace of a predatory and stalked towards him with the measured walk of a wolf feeling out it's pray. "As you will." The wings slipped out of the seraphim's back and a sense of power slammed into him, scrambled his wits. He groped for his sword, to defend himself, and felt the blade knocked from his hands. There was a kind of touch inside his skull, a gentle touch, and from the other side of that touch he felt grief, desperation, pain, and a loss so profound that he tried to cringe back. But he couldn't and that touched deepened, he had the feeling it was looking for something.

And then whatever it was looking for was found and then came a pain, a searing burning pain and with a soft cry he collapsed on the floor, limbs twitching as that silver blue light went into his brain and slashed at it. Then came the dark, the merciful dark that made the light go away.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"Wake up." Kratos shook Lloyd's shoulder gently, and his boy's eyes opened. Like all the other times before Lloyd reached up, hugged him, and the seraphim managed a smile despite the tears. The room was dark, no fire had been made, and the sun had set some time ago. "Come on," Kratos poked his son's side, and grinned as his boy giggled. "Shh we need to be quiet, Noishe needs his sleep."

"Noshy's not commin'?"

"No, Mr. Irving is allowing us to stay the night, but I wanted to go out and star gaze tonight. It is safe enough for that around here. Do you want to come?"

"Please!" Lloyd chirped, it was overkill tonight considering how much Kratos actually wanted to go himself.

"Alright."

Kratos bent, hooked Lloyd under one arm then made a show of scratching Noishe's head. His motions disguised the silver blue light that made the protozoan fall into a deeper sleep. He worked Lloyd onto his shoulders and they slipped out of the dwarf's house. Lloyd squeaked in joy, asked his father to run, and the seraphim gladly complied. They stayed along the river, wandered into the forest but always kept the river to their left hand side. He had taken a few moments earlier to scout out the area before waking Lloyd, and seeing that massive granite rock by the river that jutted out above the trees the seraphim had decided that this would be where they would go. In the dark shadows of the boulder and the few trees that hung around the place it was a perfect spot to star gaze. When the got their Lloyd gapped at the rock, looked to him, to the rock, and seemed to have some trouble swallowing that there indeed was something not a tree that was taller then his father.

"Do not let it bother you Lloyd." Kratos chuckled, ruffled his son's hair. "It is not that important."

"Wow, the stars are bright!" Lloyd gasped, looking up, and snatching a handful of his father's hair in his excitement."

"Yes, -pain! - Lloyd you have to let go of Daddy's hair before he losses it all!"

"Sorry Daddy!" Lloyd let go, patted his father's head, and squirmed, indicating he wanted down. Kratos knelt and Lloyd scrambled off of his Father's shoulders. Lloyd smiled, sat by his father, and absently tugged on of the halves of his sire's cloak around him like a blanket. He was blissfully ignorant of the tears in his father's eyes, and perhaps only noted that his father's hand seemed to have permanently attached itself to his shoulder. Yet if he did or if he didn't he made no comment, only snuggled a little closer and they watched the heavens and their slowly moving lights.

"Daddy look your star is out!"

"It is isn't it?" Kratos smiled at the red star, could not get himself to look down at Lloyd just yet. He then launched into one of Lloyd's favorite stories, and Lloyd smiled and laughed as Kratos described himself trying to catch a fish with his hands in his younger days with Yuan. Both of them had been determined to win Martel's favor and they never knew that they had been set up by Mithos who had sat in some concealing bushes and laughed at them. It was Martel who got the last laugh however, for she was watching it all from another secret place, she watched as both men fought over the one fish the had managed to catch and therefore lost it, it was she who tended Mtihos when he came to realize that those bushes that had been so very easy to hide in were poison ivy.

Lloyd giggled and laughed just as he was supposed to, and after that story was done Kratos told something under the lines of a more serious tale: the tale of Aska and Luna and their eternal chase in the sky. How Origin, infuriated by Aska's steeling of the stars and therefore dishonoring the man he had entrusted them to had bound the summon spirit of light to the sky and chained his lover to the moon. It was then that every few centuries they could see each other, only when sun and moon, in their wildly different paths overlapped, would they see each other, and how it was only for a fleeting instant.

"But that's not fair Aska was tryin' to help Luna and everyone else!" Lloyd flared and Kratos chuckled, blinked a few times and shoved his tears into the farthest part of him that he could.

"I know, sometimes though that's how things turn out."

"Still not fair!" Lloyd huffed, and Kratos smiled gently.

"I know." Kratos drew Lloyd close. "It is not fair, sometimes life is not fair." He put a digit under his son's chin and Lloyd looked up, they met each others gaze and he knew he had Lloyd's full attention. "Even though it is not fair do not ever let life take you down. Do not let fate bring you low. It is alright to cry, you know that I have nothing against tears and that tears are a form of strength, but never let fate get its knife in you so deep that you give up. No matter what happens."

Lloyd nodded, suddenly as somber as an owl; he knew that tone even at the age of four. He knew when his Daddy talked like that that he'd never forget.

"Do you remember," Kratos closed his eyes, the time was drawing close and he knew he was dithering, but could not help it. He had to tell Lloyd, he had to know that Lloyd knew this. "When you were still in your mother's belly?"

"I was?" Lloyd looked at himself, thought it over and blinked. "Momma must have been huge!"

Kratos choked on that one, he had made a similar comment once and had found himself eating a feather stuffed pillow against his will. Anna had looked positively vicious as she had tried valiantly to shove that pillow down his throat.

"She was…" Kratos laughed softly. "She was rather big; though do not ever say that to a woman unless you want to die a painful death. They are very sensitive about their appearance for some reason."

"Sun-set of?"

"Never mind," Kratos smiled, the damn tears were starting up, and he couldn't stop them. "You were quite a bit smaller then you are now so I am not too surprised you do not remember. Anyways…" the seraphim fought down the giggles, now was not the time to stat laughing, if he did it would turn into crying. "I made you a promise, that no mater what would happen I would protect you. No matter the cost I would love you and protect you… and when you grow up... I want you to tell me if I did that all right?"

"But you are, now!" Lloyd said, sounding so confused.

"Promise me Lloyd, please, this is the most important thing to me, you can not understand how much it means."

"Alright… I promise!" Lloyd smiled, and somehow Kratos managed to smile back.

"Good, then I know everything's going to be alright." Kratos kissed his son's head and set him on his lap. "There's a song my mother used to sing to me when I was your age…." Kratos snapped his eyes shut, and could feel the tears coming despite his efforts. Lloyd though did not notice.

"You were my age, and small, like me?"

"Yes," Kratos smiled. "I was even smaller then you at your age, I was a very short person for a very long time until I decided I needed to grow up. I think I over-did it."

"Nope, just right!" Lloyd hugged him and Kratos forced his sobs down. That made him shake just a little bit, and Lloyd noticed. "Daddy are you hurt?"

"I am fine, just trying to remember that song; it's been a long time…"

"A long long time?"

"Yes, over four thousand years, now settle down Lloyd." Kratos closed his eyes, and though his voice was harsh with tears Lloyd made no complaint.

When Aska flees the heavens,  
The night then comes to life,  
A multitude of human hope then light the darkened sky,

Hope caught in silver,

Bound by eternal flame,

When darkness fall I look up and see you once again,

No mater where you are,

We all see the same dark sky,

And from same sky we see same stars and come together you and I,

No matter where you are,

Forsaken or alone,

Together you and I will come no matter what dangers show,

I'll be by your side before the edge of fiery wing,

Comes over edge of world,

You must only call my name,

The name on night winds carried,

Is the surest messenger of all,

And I shall hear and I shall come no matter what.

Kratos smiled, stroked his son's hair, and Lloyd looked up to him, just happy to be held and talked to. He needed so little, so very little. And it was tempting in that moment to turn away from this path, to walk away from this course and continue the gamble. He only had to look at his hands, to imagine Anna's blood on them, and he steeled himself for this course. It was only ten minuets later before Lloyd was yawning, and after being told that they would not be going back just yet Lloyd sleepily snuggled to him and began to drift off.

_I want to wake him, to stay here until he awakens, to be with him for all of his life, to see it all._ He thought to himself as he placed the rabbit and ex-sphere in his son's hands._ It's not fair, damn it why must I give this up!_

_You know why,_ A voice whispered in his head. _You know that this is best for him; you protect him by doing this, by sacrificing yourself as Anna did herself you give him all he needs and guarantee his safety until your paths cross again_.

"Will they though, and if they do… then what?" He muttered bitterly, kissing his son's head, taking in his scent and everything about him with senses that were never fooled, storing it in a mind that would never forget.

_What will be will be in the hands of fate and destiny. You best let me take a hand in this, your technique is clumsy and it would be best if steadier hands then your own handled this._

"I thought," Kratos whispered, careful no to wake his son as he gently disengaged Lloyd's arms from around his waist. "You didn't take sides in mortal affairs Origin."

_You have been the seal and the soul bonded to me for over four thousand years, I think that warrants some cheating on my end of things._ Origin chuckled in his mind. _If not I can always fast talk MaxWell around to my end of things, I after all have been in your rather decrepit and deceitful mind for no shot span of time, I think I've learned how to gloss over certain facts and put…'productive emphasis' on others ._

Kratos strangled on the images, in his mind Origin was a God and imagining God fast talking another God was hard to take. There was a kind of wrench in his mind, a moment of dizziness and when he came too he had his wings drawn and had glided to the cliff where Anna had... His mind shuddered in pain and that pain became physical when he withdrew his wings.

_Dirk is a good ways down the river… he will find your son before the storms hit. It will rain for another two days then this span of flooding will be over unless you toss another mass of water and lightning mana into the atmosphere. You will sleep for a day then awaken, your memories will be twisted a bit, events that you endured will occur out of order, be scrambled… Much in the same manner as a man who has been through sever trauma._

Kratos nodded, in doing this he would destroy himself utterly. He knew that without Lloyd he would lose a massive part of himself, maybe even destroy his soul. And he would not know that this sacrifice had lead to Lloyd being able to lead a normal whole life.

"Will he know me, when we see each other again?"

_No he will not_.

Practical, wise, but Gods it hurt to know that, it was only then he realized that in a way he had also sacrificed Lloyd as well as himself.

"His sacrifice will not be as bad though, he will merely not know, and that will not destroy him. It is the knowing that is the most damning thing." Kratos looked to the stars and sighed. "Alright, let us get this over with."

And down came light, a blazing light with daggers in it that cut and dug and twisted into him until he thought death was preferable. He hurt, it hurt that blinding eternity of light and power, and his screams echoed on nothing and nothing till the bless-ed darkness took him away.

Xxx xxx xxx xxx

"What in Gnomes name?" Dirk squinted in the star filled night, and stared at the massive green and silver dog shaped creature; it had somehow gotten into his house, and started to raise a ruckus. Annoyed he had chased after it, and was surprised when it promptly got behind him and carried him by the scruff of his tunic to this old rock. Now he was facing a small little creature, it was a sobbing hic-upping little bundle of blanket and by its cries didn't have a friend in the worlds. He walked up to the blanket, gently pulled it aside, and a mess of brown hair popped out. It looked at him, the small creature, and by his very inexperienced eyes it was a human. Dirk looked at it, it looked at him, and a new batch of tears started. He didn't think about it, he took the small human in his arms and held him close.

"There there now… shhh . You're safe now little fella." Dirk scanned the area while he held the child that was nearly his height, a small rock of silver and blue caught his attention. He bent down and took it up with much more confidence then he'd taken the child in his embrace. Stones were something he had a great deal of experience with, and this one… He whistled in awe, moved to pocket it…

A flash of silver blue light snapped behind his eyes lids a woman's voice a woman's form…

Dead?

Alive?

Undead?

Dying?

All of the details of her blurred all he could tell was she was in agony. He ran to her, pulled out an apple jell he kept for emergencies. Her hands grasped his, left a mark of blood on his wrist, a shackle of blood, so much blood…

"His name is Lloyd, he's my son, Desian's attacked us… please keep him safe I can no longer."

Whispered the woman in a soft musical voice, her eyes were filled with gentle regret as she breathed the last in his arms.

Another flash of silver-blue and the child's sobs brought him back to reality.

A man's voice carried over the night winds was carried by the night's winds, familiar yet not familiar.

"I can no longer protect him you must do what I can not."

"Daddy…. Where's Daddy?" The boy, Lloyd, gulped, rubbed his eyes. "Mommy! Daddy!"

"Gods of Earth," Dirk whispered blinking back a second of disorientation. "You're Lloyd aren't you?"

The boy nodded, looked at him in fear.

He's never seen a dwarf by the looks of him, never seen anyone but a human in his life. Dirk's heart tightened painfully, he could no look into those brown-black eyes squarely.

"Your Ma, she died lad… to.. took a nasty fall…" His stammer gave his lie away, but the boy did not hear it, he cried, hugged his knees and cried like the most lost thing in the worlds.

"Daddy, where's Daddy?"

"I don't know, I imagine if he can he'll come for you, and if he does he'd rightly put me to task for not getting a roof over your head and warming you up. Do you have a last name little one?"

"Last name?" Lloyd rubbed at his nose with a hand, his face an ugly red with silver tracks running down the sides. The boy cried silver looking tears, a trick of the star light he imagined. "Momma called me Lloyd, Daddy called me Lloyd, oh and son…"

"That's what all parent call their little boys." Dirk said huskily.

The boy looked at the rock that Dirk had yet to pocket and his eyes widened.

"Momma's special shiny rock!" He took the stone in his hands and held onto it like a life line. "Mommy wears this on her arm." The boy sniffled. Even more tears were gathering in his eyes as he grasped a reality that most children his age could not comprehend. "Momma's not coming back is she?"

"I think…" Dirk felt tears coming to his eyes at the little ones predicament. "I think that's what they mean by dead, that you never come back…"

The tears started again, heart broken sobs that ripped the dwarf to shreds. Gently he held the boy till he cried himself out, then when he seemed alright enough to move gently steered the boy to his house. A few nights, he thought to himself, and the boy's father will come or him, just a few nights and this little one will be back home where he belongs. A few nights passed, a few weeks, and he came into the boy's upstairs room to find the little one curled around the dog crying bitterly.

"Lad, are you alright?"

"Daddy promised!" The boy sobbed, "He promised he'd come no matter what!"

Noishe whimpered, licked the boys head and had hooked a paw around the child in an attempt to... hug? Was a dog _that_ smart! Impossible, completely impossible and insane to boot!

"Lad, your Pa, he might be dead too."

"No! He's not! He's not dead!" Lloyd gripped the green mane of his pet so hard his knuckles were turning white. "No… Daddy can't die… Mommy said so!"

"Lad, the only people don't die are elves." Dirk swallowed, walked across the room slowly. "We all go, even a dwarf like me." He reached out, turned the boy around and made Lloyd look him squarely in the eyes. "Lloyd, my lad, we all go and take that long walk in the end. All of us, even those stuck up pointy ears, though they take a mighty long time in doing it."

"I'm not your son." Lloyd gulped; his gaze was like a spear in the heart, those words acid on a mortal wound.

"No… I guess not." Dirk closed his eyes. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."

"You're a nice person, not nasty like the other person who said he was Daddy but wasn't. But Daddy is Daddy." Lloyd stared at him, even through closed eyes he could feel the gaze it was that intense.

"I understand lad." Dirk smiled, forced himself to meet the boys gaze head on. "I've no problems with just being a "nice person"." Dirk stroked his beard, made a very firm decision that would sculpt his whole life. "You don't need to be crying here alone with your dog, you can come to me any time day or night if you need a shoulder. No shame in tears lad, only shame is when they fall and you're alone."

Noishe gave him a long look that almost seemed to say he was not a "no-one".

Dirk ignored the dog stupid beast wasn't smart, though it acted smart a time or two. It wasn't healthy for the boy to be so attached to the dog; he needed someone to talk to who could talk back at the very least.

At Lloyd's nod Dirk smiled, ruffled that wild brown hair.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep lad, nights got a long way before it's done, and when you wake up I'll make you a treat."

"A treat?" Lloyd's eyes lost some of their gloom. "What type?"

"A dwarvish surprise if you want to call it that!" He winked and the boy giggled.

He tromped from the boy's room, fought his way down the stairs and went to his work desk. He'd been working on a top for the boy, a little toy that'd spin around with help from a string. He figured the boy would like it, it wasn't half way finished, another good two nights to go on it, but he'd made a promise and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to keep it.

"I'll just put some speed into it." He mumbled to himself, picking up a carving knife. "Won't take all that long to finish." And if it made the lad smile, well it was worth a little loss of sleep. He found a smile on his lips at that thought and he set to his task humming a tune that would echo in the mines he had been raised like the clang of a hammer. As the sun peaked over the horizon and Dirk brushed aside the last carving bits and he realized something, something that came as a bit of a surprise. Though the boy didn't think of him as his father, though I _hurt_ as nothing else ever had to hear those words it didn't change a thing. He still was thinking of the boy as his son.

His own Pa though, aye he'd get his head bit off for this "little stunt". Taking a non-dwarf past the three day guest period was unheard of, almost a sin in the eyes of his people. Which was why he left, and he was feeling a little bit of that. A little bit of satisfaction at proving that he wasn't like them and that he had a care past the end of his own nose. That was part of it; not a nice part but still a part but the biggest part was hope. Hope that someday when he'd call Lloyd 'son' he'd get the answer he wanted back. And despite how I hurt every time the boy called him 'Dirk' there was that hope, that prayer that the next time Lloyd would say 'father' instead. And he was willing to wait; he was a hot head amongst dwarves, impatient, not content to let a project sit a decade and a day. But for that one word he'd wait, he'd wait for a century if need be.


End file.
